Ten
Yong Hwa


 

Okay, this time things went quite better, at least from my point of view. It was more fun and interesting, even a bit exciting because I didn't know when I was going to lose control and just hold her. I wanted, the whole time, to embrace her ever so tightly, but I didn't and I feel really proud of myself for that. And I know I shook her off like she did many times during the night. This time I was in control of the situation and I loved that. I loved seeing her holding her breath and almost shaking, I loved seeing her nervous because she didn't know what I was going to do next. I didn't know either, or better said, I wasn't sure what my next move was going to be. As I told her, I was testing the waters. Now I know my limits and my weakness.

That mole.

It's seriously cute and y and I just want to kiss it, and then kiss her eyelid and move down her face like I did with my finger. I am very aware of what this desire means, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to give in without a fight. Unless I'm sure I can have control of myself and I'm not at her mercy, I won't give in to what I feel for her, this insane attraction.

I keep the smug smile on my lips as we really help to close, cleaning the bar and all those things. I don't talk to her again and I act cool, as if I'm not affected at all, as if I don't feel when she's closer. And then her appa and her say goodbye and we leave. I'm driving as it's the shop van and I committed myself to drive everyone home. Not that I mind, we all live relatively close to each other.  Until then I had completely forgot that Min Hyuk was also present when I faced her and when he brings the topic up, I feel ashamed for having completely forgotten he was there and ignored him. Well, she said he is cute so he can't complain.

"Hyung, what was that?" he asks and as the other two guys don't know what he means he has to give a quick explanation. "What are you up to with Nuna?"

"Nothing, I'm just trying to get along with her," I reply offhandedly. "Wasn't that what you wanted?"

"It looked more like you wanted to eat her up," the summer says and choke on my spit.

"There're better ways to put that, Min Hyuk!" I protest whilst the other three guys are snickering. I don't need to see my face to know I'm blushing. "I was just being nice."

"You were all over her face. Too friendly, Hyung. I get, Nuna is really pretty but you need to control yourself. Don't be that obvious and don't make her uncomfortable if you fancy her," he continues and I almost hit the break right there.

"I don't fancy her!" I deny, my eyes wide in bewilderment. It's mere ual attraction, something weird. I don't really fancy her, that's another level. That means acceptance and I'm far from that.

My band mates laugh at me and I feel tempted to kick them all out of the van. Right now.

"Come on, Yong," Jong Hyun intervenes. "All night you've been having problems with her, you've been staring at her hungrily and you haven't been yourself. If you don't fancy her, it's something else but you're not indifferent. I know you, you can't fool me. You can try to fool yourself but not me," he insists and just focus on the road. That's safer.

"I think it's great if you fancy her," the youngest of us says, taking part in the conversation. "Nuna is great, I like her. She's feisty," he laughs.

"So?" I defy.

"So, she's great for you. She can put up with you even when you're cranky, which is not something nice nor rare."

I roll my eyes. He makes me sound as if I have a bad personality. I do have bad days but that doesn't mean it's hard to get along with me. I can be very friendly and laid back, too. I really don't act like this all the time and I'm quite charming with girls and I don't have problem when I set my eyes on my target. The problem isn't me here, it's her and what she causes. I'm just trying to learn how to deal with all what it’s happening, is that a crime?

"Don't say rubbish," I dismiss him. "Me and her together won't happen," is my promise but I can see through the rear-view mirror my band mates rolling their eyes but I mean it, she is a dangerous ground and I rather play safe than sorry. Yes, I'm testing the limits but that's for my own sake, not because I want to learn how to be with her, I just want to learn how to deal with her in the best way.

"The more you fight it, the harder you fall later. Just putting that out there," Jong Hyun mumbles looking away instead of meeting my eyes through the rear-view mirror.

I don't say anything in reply, I just drive and no one continues the discussion. Later we change the topic to something innocuous until I drop them one by one and I can finally get home and rest. It's been an emotionally draining day and once my head touches the pillow I pass out until the next morning when the alarm goes off. The day goes like it normally does, calm and easy. A few clients in the shop, people asking for Appa and when he'll be back. The usual. But I'm not at my full capacity and like three times during the day clients have to snap me back to the present. It's normal considering how late I got home last night. Taking care of the shop and working at the bar at night will be extremely exhausting. I really want Appa to be back soon so I don't have to wake up that early after going to bed around four AM.

When night falls I start to get anxious because I know it's time to go to work and that means I'll see her. I've done quite well at not thinking of her during the day but I got tricked once when a girl walked inside the shop and from afar she looked quite like Park Shin Hye. My heart stopped, scared that she was there but luckily it wasn't her. I've been telling myself since then that I didn't feel disappointed at all when I noticed it wasn't her.

When I walk inside the bar I notice all my other band mates are there, helping to open the place and start working, I suppose. Or at least that’s what they should be doing. However, I step inside just to see Min Hyuk and Jung Shin dancing some silly and awkward choreography to the claps from the other people around. They sing some absurd song and dance and for a moment I think they might be drunk, but then I get distracted when I see her laughing out loud, cheerfully and full of life and all presumptions about my friends’ drunkenness are gone. Her laughter is bright and contagious and it makes me ignore the ridiculous performance of my friends, for which I should unfriend them but I can't care about that now. I don't even notice how my feet take me closer to her who keeps clapping for the idiots of my friends.

"HYUNG!" Min Hyuk calls excitedly. "Come, join us! You're the dance king on stage," he says next at the same time she turns to face me, the smile still on her lips until it slowly fades away.

I look away, embarrassed for what the drummer has said and I don't know why he's so pumped when the night is barely beginning.

"You're not on stage," I mumble as a lame excuse but that backfires on my face.

"So if we go on stage you'll join us?" Jung Shin proposes and I glare at him. Is he really trying to drag me down with him?

"Don't push him, if he can't dance that's okay," she says dismissing my presence and just focusing on the two younger members.

"I can dance," I step in and I curse myself internally. I'm digging my own grave, I know it. "I just don't want to dance now."

"That's fine," she says but her tone is ironic and mocking, and that just makes me dig even deeper.

"Maybe you should dance with me later, just so you can see with your own eyes I can dance," I challenge but I really don't know why I'm saying all this.

She looks at me with wide eyes and once again I forget we have audience as I take a step closer to her, defiantly, stubbornly. She keeps her head high, not backing off when I approach. I like that she fights back instead of just running away scared like other girl would do.

"Maybe I should," she says and I smirk. I'm already in my grave so who cares anymore.

"Then it's a deal. I'll hold you on to that later," I state before I take a step back to go to the DJ booth to start preparing for tonight. We've agreed already that when we are no performing I can take care of this task. I have to pick a song for later, when I'll dance with her.

I guess I'm a bit excited about that. 
 

I hope you liked it!
Bel, xx