Sixteen
Yong Hwa

 

I don’t have a certain plan to prove Shin Hye that I mean my words, that I’ve made my mind. I guess that being constant is what she really needs to see because until now all I’ve been is fickle. So for the following days, I just relax and stop fighting whatever I feel and want. I arrive early to help her to clean and open and at first she’s reluctant and awkward around me. I know it’ll take time for her to get used to me being around in this new attitude. A day will come when she doesn’t gasp when she sees me arriving. In the meantime, I make sure to arrive with Min Hyuk so she can get distracted and the impact is not that much. I’ve also started to share more with my band mates when they are around her, and that helps her to relax around me.

I daresay being like this is so much easier. Before I used to get home knackered and I had trouble sleeping, now I feel lighter and my dreams get me excited to see her again because I vision possibilities for us and everything looks so great that I get even a little impatient.

The biggest difference, I think, it’s when I’m on stage. I have more fun because I’m always focused on her, it’s like I sing to her and I feel relieved because I know she’s not immune to me. She reacts, she melts and I know that if in that moment I got down and walked towards her, I could kiss her and she wouldn’t even complain. But of course I don’t do that because I’m professional.

Her friend, Min Ha, keeps looking at me as if I were some kind of illness. He usually stands between Shin Hye and I and glares at me. I wonder if he loves her and sees me as a rival, but I don’t think it’s that. I actually don’t feel threatened by him, maybe because I can clearly see that Shin Hye doesn’t see him as anything but a brother so even if he has feelings for her, she doesn’t correspond them. But he does annoy me because he doesn’t let me get closer to her.

One day I get to the bar earlier because I just want to see her and I can’t wait for Min Hyuk. Plus, it’s been three weeks, she’s more used to me being around and I don’t think she’ll put some distance and run away from me until someone else is around.

When I walk in I see her on stage, cleaning it but also fascinated with the acoustic guitar that it’s there. I just watch her as she plays with the strings and then takes it, sitting on a stool and starts strumming some random chords. I approach slowly so she can’t notice me here, I don’t want to interrupt her. I can hear her humming and a smile tugs at the corner of my lips. I know that she plays the nights we have free but I’ve never seen her, she’s never wanted us to see.

Shin Hye starts singing and now I’m full smiling. It’s a song I’ve never heard before so I wonder if it’s an original one. I don’t interrupt and let her finish, only then I clap alerting her of my presence.

“Yong Hwa! I— I didn’t know you were there. When did you arrive?” she questions, putting the guitar aside and looking frantically everywhere.

“A while ago. You really sign well, Shin Hye-yah,” I tell her and she blushes furiously, which makes her look so pretty. “Is that song yours?”

“Y-yeah,” she mumbles and I grin. I walk up on stage and she seems ready to run away, but still stays seated. I grab another stool and sit next to her, taking my own guitar from its case that I always carry with me.

“Mind teaching me the song?” I ask, placing my guitar on my lap. “I really liked it.”

“Um, maybe it’s better if—”

“Please, Shin Hye-yah,” I cut her off. “Are you still wary of me? Why are you so reluctant to spend time with me? I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to. All I want to prove to you is that I really like you but you don’t even want to listen to me anymore. Have I given you mixed signs again?” She looks away and I heave a tired sigh. “Fine, I won’t force you to teach me the song or to spend time with me. If you don’t wanna me near me, I get it.”

I guess that convincing her of my feelings will take more than just being constant. Maybe I do have to come up with some sort of plan.

I move to put the guitar on the nearer stand but Shin Hye stops me by grabbing the guitar.

“Mianhe,” she says. “It’s just that I’m… nervous and maybe a little bit scared. I don’t know until when you’ll be acting like this and I don’t want to get used to you like this until the next time you decide to push me away.”

I take a deep breath and I fight the urge to grab her hand. “That won’t happen, Shin Hye. I don’t even want to do that. It’s so much easier to put everything out there instead of fighting myself. I’ll only put distance between us if that’s what you want.”

She looks at me intently and my chest feels tight, dying to reach her and pull her close. The ghost of that kiss we shared once haunts me, making me want to kiss her again, more deeply, more consuming. And when she gives me a faint smile I do feel my heart race.

“Okay, I’ll teach you the song if you teach me one of yours,” she trades and I smile widely, happy with this little development.

So she starts teaching me the song, which is quite simple, just five chords so it only takes me a few minutes. I play the melody and she sings, teaching me the lyrics and it’s such a sweet song. I have good memory so the second time she sings it, I sing with her and the tension between us eases, as we get involved in the music. Then I teach her one of our songs. She likes I Will… Forget You, which is one of her favourites. I decide to use this opportunity to get even closer so I put my stool next to hers and my guitar aside to only work with hers. She seems a bit tense at first with this new proximity, so I start teaching her the chords immediately to distract her. I help her with her hands on the bridge, using that just an excuse to take her hand. I don’t have to teach her the lyrics because she knows the song already and when she sings it I think it sounds even more beautiful and heartbroken.

After she plays it on her own she looks at me with the brightest of smiles and my heart keeps racing in my chest. I just want to reach her and kiss her again, I feel the need in my guts, pulling me closer, charging the air between us with electricity. She loses her smile and starts breathing more laboriously, but she doesn’t look away, not even when I start leaning in. I’m giving her time to react, whether she wants me to back off or to continue leaning in. She doesn’t move, she doesn’t say anything, she just gulps.

“Shin Hye,” I whisper. “I’m going to kiss you but if you don’t want me to, tell me now.”

She doesn’t say anything but her eyes dart to my lips and I take that as a pass to let me do what I’m dying to do, so I grab the guitar on her lap and put it aside, not as carefully as I should, but I can’t wait anymore. With my free hand I grab her by the neck and pull her to a fierce kiss she immediately responds to, desperate to get drunk in the sweet taste of her lips that seem even sweeter than I remember.

Once I get rid of the guitar I use that same hand to put it on the small of her back and pull her towards me, pressing her body against mine and practically leading her to my lap. She wraps her arms around my neck and replies to every movement, making my head spin and my whole body burn up.

I make Shin Hye sit on my lap and kiss her even deeper, devouring because I can’t get enough of her. I only pull away for a slip of a second to take a new breath and continue. Her hands ruffle my hair and the weight on her body on my lap is making me lose my mind. I want more, I want her whole because no one has tasted this sweet, no one has felt so perfect in my arms.

I leave her lips to start spreading kisses across her jaw, going to her neck and I can hear her ragged breathing.

“Yong Hwa,” she mumbles and my name in her lips make my heart beat even faster. “Yong Hwa… my appa is in his office. He… he could come out… any moment,” she manages to say and I can barely register her words.

“I— I get it,” I reply but I can’t stop savouring her smooth skin. Oh God, she’s intoxicating. “I’ll stop… I’ll stop.”

She chuckles and helps me to pull back because I can barely do that on my own. She smiles at me sweetly before cupping my face in her hands and pecking my lips. “You should take me on a date, though,” she says and I can only nod.

“Totally. Would you go on a date with me?” I ask dumbly and she laughs.

“Yes, I would. Now…” she pulls back, standing on her feet and breaking all contact with me. I want to whine because of that. “We have cleaning to do.”

I sigh but I obey, rising to my feet and following her. Back to work but I can’t wipe out the grin from my lips in the whole night.

Once again, sorry for my long absence. I'm in summer holidays so access to internet is limited and I'm more focussed on my other projects. Mianhe. I hope you enjoyed this one, though. I'll try to update again soon!

Fighting!
Bel, xx