Twenty-Three
Shin Hye
 

Even if my head is cloudy and I can’t really have a coherent thought, I can’t be at ease, either. Yong Hwa’s hand on my back, caressing my skin and making it tingle with a buzzing sensation, his kisses intoxicating me and this feel that there’s just too many layers between us are driving me insane. Not only my head but my whole world is spinning and the most intoxicating thing is how he repeats every time he can that he loves me. He loves me. I can’t get enough of that, it makes my heart soar and all those silly butterflies flutter in sheer happiness in my tummy.

It was just a big misunderstanding and at the end all I ever wanted was for him to be open and honest with me. And that’s what he’s done and I just… I love him so much to let him go, too. Even the thought of it cuts deep and I can’t fathom that. 

He loves me and I love him, that should be enough for us to make us fight and always try to overcome whatever misunderstanding or hardship that comes in our way. We should be able to fight for what we want, and that is being together.

I certainly want to go as far as this moment will take us, my whole body wants to, even if I’m not conscious of it, but my hands tug his tee, my fingertips enjoying the warmth of his skin. Yet a part of my mind can’t forget where we are and the circumstances we are in. Although I would enjoy very much continue doing this, I don’t want our first time to be like this. Not with the fear that his appa might come and caught us. I wouldn’t be able to meet his eyes knowing his son and I had whilst he was working in the shop.

“Yong Hwa-yah,” I call, barely a whisper and I have to repeat it many times for him to hear me.

I’m not sure how it happened, but his tee is gone, somewhere on the floor, and so is mine. When did this happen?

He stops, pulling away from my neck where he was nipping, and meeting my eyes. His are so intense and even if his hands are not moving right now, too comfortable on my back, almost unhooking my bra, I feel like these are all over me.

“W-what?” he breathes out, his chest raising and falling, distracting me from what I really want to say.

“I can’t… not now. Your appa…” I complain but my words lack conviction. “I just…”

He closes his eyes, as if he were struggling with what I’m suggesting. He probably is, I can feel that stopping is the last thing he wants right now. I feel a bit bad for even mentioning this, but I am not entirely comfortable with this situation, even if my body is also complaining for stopping.

“He won’t come up,” he whispers and I bite my lower lip.

“I know but still… he’s just downstairs and I… I’m sorry,” I blurt out, looking down and trying to overcome this, but then I hear him sigh and his hands leave my back just to cup my face.

“It’s okay. If you’re not entirely uncomfortable we won’t do anything. We aren’t in a rush or anything. And the last thing I want is to make you feel unease,” he says, looking at me with such tender and love in his eyes. I give him a small smile that he replies with is toothy one.  “I’m just happy we left this misunderstanding behind, because you forgive me, right?”

I chuckle, leaning in to kiss his lips briefly. “Of course. And it’s not like you did something wrong-wrong. I just… wanted to feel like you trusted me and you weren’t playing. I was scared, that’s all. I needed reassurance,” I explain and he nods.

“I will never let you feel like that again, okay? I’ll shoo all your fears and always remind you I love you,” he promises, touching my heart with his words.

“I love you, too,” I finally say and although he probably knew it, but still, I can see the impact of my words on his expression, the happiness that shines in his eyes and that big smile that makes my heart race. “From the moment I saw you,” I add. “And I also tried to fight it, to stop me from falling for you.” I chuckle, remembering how much I tried not to feel like this at first. “I failed.”

“Best defeat ever,” he says, making me laugh again. “And no matter how much I love this current sight,” he adds next, making sure to pull back a bit and scan me with his eyes. “I think you should put your tee on again. Unless you don’t want to. I’m not complaining.”

My cheeks blush when I remember I’m topless if not for my bra, and now that things have calmed down, I get shy again and frantic to get my tee. I need to spot it and put it on! But my struggle only seem to amuse Yong Hwa, who seems unwilling to let me go to retrieve my tee.

“Yon Hwa-yah!” I whine, but he has his arms firmly wrapped around my waist as I try to get off him. “Yah!” I protest, but to no avail. I think he reminded me I had lost my tee just to tease me like this.

I manage to escape and practically crawl to my tee. I find his first and throw it at his laughing face before putting mine back on. “You big idiot,” I mumble, but he’s still laughing.

“One day I’m gonna take off all your clothes and hide them and you won’t have another option but to go around like that,” he threatens me and his words are both arousing and embarrassing. I just blush and look away. “Wanna go out? If we stay like here with you acting like that I might just call Appa and tell him to go away.”

My blush deepens, making him laugh once again, by that time I’m practically at the door.

“I have to change, though! Don’t be so eager,” he calls from the living room.

“Bbali!” I say back, just waiting, my heart hammering and a foolish grin on my lips.

Back to our daily lives, everything seems normal. Now more people know about our relationship, meaning my father and his. My best friends, Min Ha and Chang Na seem okay with it. Chang Na is super happy, Min Ha still tries trying to convince me to look for a better man because he can’t trust Yong Hwa, but this one keeps showing he really loves me.

Yong Hwa isn’t scared to show we are together when we are working, which has earned me quite a few glares from his fans, and more than one saying that I’ll be just one of many. But I know it’s different, I believe him when he says he loves me and won’t let me go.

Appa did indeed invite Yong Hwa for drinks and I was the one having to carry both of them into a cab and then home because they could barely keep their eyes open. I saw Yong Hwa being the last of the two to pass out, but Appa says he won and I shouldn’t take my boyfriend’s side, I should always back him up. That is why I refrain from saying anything.

Yong Hwa’s appa also invited me but not for drinks, just to have dinner and getting to know me better. I’m glad Yong Hwa and I didn’t do anything that day because I wouldn’t have been able to sit on that sofa and look him in the eyes without blushing and apologising.

I think the happiest ones about Yong Hwa and I together are his band mates who have practically adopted me and made me their manager, especially when a few agents show up looking for new talents at our bar. They haven’t gotten the right offer yet, but we are all hopeful it will happen soon. When they are this talented they can’t stay in a bar forever.

All that aside, our lives continue as they always did, with the only difference we are together now, leaving behind all that struggle with the foolish idea to fight our own feelings. It would’ve been easier if we had just gave in to what we felt from that first day, but people tend to take for granted all those things that aren’t earned with hard work. The harder we work to accomplish something, the more we appreciate it. I guess we struggled enough to be grateful for finally being together now.

I know everything isn’t solved, that in the future we will face new problems and misunderstandings, but if we still love each other like we do now, there will always be room for explanations and a chance to set things right, which I think it’s the key for any relationship. I just hope that for Yong Hwa and I this is just the beginning of our lives together.

Hi there! This is the LAST chapter of the story. HOWEVER! there will be an apilogue and considering the demand, I'm thinking of making it M rated. Nothing too graphic, that isn't my style. But in case that you don't want to read it, you don' thave to. It's just something extra.

Let me know your thoughts about the story now that it's over. Did you enjoy the journey? Would you like me to write another YongShin story in the future? Let me know!

Fighting!
Bel, xx