AN: Just to clarify real quick:

JJ's POV = Jaejoong's point of view

YH's POV = Yunho's point of view

YJ's POV = YunJae's point of view. This means I think that portion of the song and/or what I've added to the song would apply to both of them and that both of them, as I see them i my head, would relate to that portion.

You all probably would have figured that out on you own, but I thought I'd clarify just to make sure since it's important. Now that that's overwith, onto the songfic!

"Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins - YunJae version:

JJ's POV:

I didn't know what would happen when Yoochun, Junsu and I first talked about leaving SM. I didn't know that you would stay behind, forcing us to leave you and Changmin behind. Once we'd filed the lawsuit, I had doubts about whether we'd done the right thing. I knew that we needed to leave SM, but I didn't know if it was worth it, if it meant leaving you behind to fend for yourself. But by then it was too late. We'd already gotten the ball rolling, and to stop it then would have made us cowards. And...I couldn't live like that anymore. The grueling schedule was one thing, but doing all that to get nothing in return...it wasn't right. It wasn't fair to our fans, having them pay for albums, tickets and merchandise for the sake of supporting us, when we weren't getting anything from it. And...the abuse was getting worse. The verbal abuse was bad enough...being told every day by managers that I needed to work harder, do better, that I was getting old, that once I get older all of the fans would abandon me. But that wasn't the only thing that was increasing in both frequency and intensity. The physical abuse was getting worse as well. To the point that I found myself flinching when anyone touched me...or even looked like they were going to touch me...even when you were the one touching me. At first I thought I genuinely deserved it...sometimes I still think I did. But when I told Yoochun and Junsu how bad it had gotten, they insisted that it wasn't my fault. That I didn't deserve to be treated like that. None of us did. They told me that "We should leave and end this life of being treated like SME's property instead of as human beings." It was this knowledge that they didn't deserve this, and that they were truly worried about me...scared about how far the abuse would go next time...that made up my mind and kept me strong. But I don't know who I am without you. I know that after all these years, I should. But I don't. Perhaps I don't want to find out...because it would mean admitting that we'll never get to be together again. Every time I hear a rumor about you dating some girl, or when I see you acting toward Changmin like you used to act toward me...it breaks my heart. Even though I know that the rumors are just that...rumors...and that Changmin has never had any romantic interest in you at all. I don't know if I could stand it if I found out you really were together with someone else. I know that I should let you go...I was the one who left, after all. And you were the one who decided to stay...without me. Because whoever it is who takes my place next to you...will be able to love you better than I can. Because at least you'll be allowed to see them in person. Because at least with them, SM won't have decided to make it their mission in life to keep you from being with them, or ever seeing them again.

YH's POV:

I always thought that love was black and white. Either it was wrong...or it was right. But even though it broke my heart, I supported your decision to leave. I knew I could trust Yoochun and Junsu to protect you...remind you that not everything bad that happens is your fault. I hated what SM did to you more than anyone. I still hate them for it. For all of the times when I found you crying because of something they said, and for all of the times you came back to the dorm with fresh bruises. I remember them telling you that if anyone asked about the bruises, you were to either tell them that it was because of your own clumbsiness, or that it was from fighting with Changmin. All of us knew the truth. You may have your momentary exceptions, but you aren't that clumbsy. And although you fought with Changmin plenty, I know that I can count the number of times that one of you actually left a lasting mark on each other with one hand. But when I told you that I was going to stay with SM, with Changmin...you fought me on it. You begged me to come with you and to talk Changmin into coming too. What you didn't know at the time...what no one except for Changmin and I knew...was that SM was threatening to hurt Changmin's family if he left the company before the completion of his contract. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel bad about pursuing your own happiness away from SM. Even though I knew that your leaving would make things worse for anyone who stayed, I couldn't ask you to stay, because I wanted you out of SME's clutches more badly than anyone. But Changmin couldn't leave SM, because the risk to his family was too great...and I couldn't bear to leave Changmin alone to deal with that. But choosing to stay behind with Changmin, instead of going with you to try to find a better life, was the hardest decision I've ever made. Because I don't know who I am without you. I've been the leader of DBSK for so many years...but how am I supposed to be the leader when I'm missing two of the members I was supposed to lead, and another who helped me lead the others. You truly were the umma of the group. You took care of all of us. Even, and maybe especially me, who was meant to be the appa of the group. You took care of me in a way no one else ever has. Took on my stress from being the leader, and helped me ignore all of the critisizm. Every time I hear a rumor about you dating some girl, or see you kiss one of your co-stars on one of your dramas, or when I see you acting all playful and couple-like with Junsu and Yoochun...it breaks my heart. Even though I know that the rumor's are just that...rumors...and that Yoochun and Junsu are too wrapped up in each other to have any romantic interest in you at all. I don't know if I could stand it if I found out you really were together with someone else. I know that I should let you go...you were the one who needed so desperately to leave this life behind and pursue freedom...and I was the one who decided to stay...even though you wouldn't...couldn't stay with me. Because whoever it is who takes my place next to you...will be able to love you better than I can. Because at least you'll be allowed to see them in person. Because at least with them, SM won't have decided to make it their mission in life to keep you from being with them, or ever seeing them again. Because, hopefully, they'll be strong enough and brave enough to fight back when someone tries to split you up. Hopefully they'll be strong enough to fight for you...and not be a coward like me.

JJ's POV:

I won't be far from where you are, if you ever decide to return any of my calls. No matter how much time passes, I'll always pick up. I love you. I've loved you since I met you all those years ago, and that isn't going to change.

YJ's POV:

You mean more to me than anyone I've ever loved at all. But you taught me how to trust myself...and so I say to you...this is what I have to do. Even if what I want more than anything...is to still be with you.