#Missing2ndWin - Congratulations to my TEEN TOP babies! I love you so much~! LOVE U

Five

C.A.P stared down at the sheet of paper handed out to them by the staff member before their team development meeting. It was after lunch and all four of them were seated, assembled in a small conference room, really just a room with a table and some chairs, nursing cups of various beverages. They silently looked over the sheets they’d been given. It was a plan, an outline of their activities in the coming months. It was all tentative of course.

They were given 5 months to prepare for their upcoming album. That amount of time made it all seem both so close and so far away. C.A.P knew how fast time could pass when working hard and he hoped that the allotted time would be enough to do the best that they could. TOP Media were of course being generous with them. The company had produced albums in less time in the past but he hoped that it was a show of good faith that they’d given the larger window for the members to compile it mostly themselves.

Of course though they couldn’t remain idle in the months leading up to it which explained the other activities mentioned. Ricky would begin to promote his recently filmed movie soon. The rest of the members were being considered for various units. Project groups were a definite main concern and also fated to be the main source of discontent.

“Why am I being considered for a duo with C.A.P hyung?” Niel asked, lowering his sheet on the table. “Whose idea was that?”

C.A.P looked up from his paper knitting his brows in confusion. He didn’t see anything wrong with it.

“Well you two do have complimentary voices,” Changjo supplied.

Niel was about to open his mouth with another protest but Siho manager walked in the door at that moment.

“Why am I being considered for a duo with C.A.P hyung?” he asked again, this time lifting the paper and pointing aggressively at it.

Siho took his seat, obviously used to and unfazed by the group’s antics.

“Whose idea was that?” persisted Niel.

“Andy’s,” Siho answered, taking out his notebook and pen. “So I trust you’ve read it all then.”

Niel slapped the paper back down onto the table and the others murmured something along the lines that yes they did. Siho did nothing more to acknowledge Niel, opting instead to get out his own copy of the hand out and slip on a pair of reading glasses. Without even looking up again he started.

“Chanhee comes out next week so I wanted to at least decide the members of the second unit today. He’s actually already offered a slot to audition for an upcoming musical role and I have spoken to him about doing a unit with Byunghun. Byunghun wrote a song that they will do together so as far as things go those two are in pretty good shape,” Siho began.

“Really? Byunghun wrote them a song?” Ricky asked, amazed.

Siho nodded, “He’s written a few things during his hiatus and Andy already approved this one for the upcoming album so all we need next is the member’s ‘yes’ really. And we can go through some of the other stuff and see if there is anything else you all would like.”

“Wow,” was all Ricky could reply.

C.A.P had to say he was impressed too. He hadn’t really written much in the way of music in his absence though he had written what could be easily worked into lyrics.

“Anyway that’s why we decided since Chanhee and Byunghun are busy with that it would be nice for Minsoo to have something as well since he’s also been discharged. We’ll release them both as digital singles,” explained Siho.

“OK,” Niel said. “But what does that have to do with me?”

“Well it’s either you or Jonghyun. Changhyun is just too busy these coming months with the movie. Between the two of you Jonghyun’s been busier than usual this year what with your mini hiatus, which by the way Andy still wants to talk to you about.”

C.A.P couldn’t help but notice the way Niel’s frown deepened when their manager mentioned that.

“Plus like Chanhee and Byunghun the fans like to see you two work together.”

Niel sighed, “Fine whatever. If this is punishment for not taking all the work coming at me then it’s whatever, I guess I’ll take it.”

“It’s not a punishment. In the end if you don’t want to do the unit all you have to do is suggest something better but absolutely not working is no longer going to be an option. Must I remind you, you work for this company not the other way around? Anyway, I’m sure your fans are tired of random selcas with Minwoo and sasaeng photos of you coming in and out of our building. You need to do something,” Siho said, voice holding a rare hint of aggravation.

“It was just one selca with Minwoo,” Niel groaned.

“Yeah which was uploaded right at the hour when fans expected you to be at the discharge site with the others but no, you were in Mokpo,” Siho shot back.

Now that was news to C.A.P. He didn’t keep up with social networking as much as he should as a public figure.

“Wait, is that an issue?” C.A.P interrupted to ask. “I don’t mind that he wasn’t there.”

“It was on his work schedule to be there,” Siho said. “So it’s a violation that he’s lucky to not have held against him. Also it became a topic on instiz. People were disappointed.”

“I’m…. I didn’t know,” C.A.P actually felt bad about it. “This didn’t have to be a schedule. I would have been fine even if no one came.”

“It’s not always about what we want though. It’s also what the fans want and it shows a good team image.”

“You know I don’t have any problem working with C.A.P hyung,” Niel said turning back to the original subject of the unit. “I don’t. I really… I just… nevermind.”

He seemed to have given up and leaned on his elbow against the table, eyes trained on the paper.

“As for songs, it’d be nice if you can come up with something,” Siho looked at C.A.P. “Your songs are usually pretty good but if not we’re prepare to arrange something for you.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” C.A.P said.

“Great,” Siho seemed content with that.

The rest of the meeting went without any major interruptions. They made a list of possible concepts to show Chunji next week. Also Siho made sure to make clear that no one was exempt from Chunji’s discharge unless on their death bed.

----

The dorm was quiet that evening. Everyone went their own way after arriving home and like L.Joe said, it was as if they each had their own room. L.Joe wasn’t in that night, having left that morning for work along with the others and said he’d spend the next week with his family until Chunji moved back in. Niel too was absent, having decided to go back to Minwoo’s place instead of the dorm.

C.A.P reclined on his bed staring up at the ceiling his mind swirling with everything that happened that day. It was so tiresome to be thrown back into the frey of idol life even with the company making things more lenient than it had been before he had even left. Before his enlistment they had schedules at almost every waking moment. They rarely took a meal while seated properly. Every sign of fatigue was hid under a thick layer of bb cream and concealer.

He understood there being a hiatus because half of the group was away and he was glad to see they had kept busy for the most part. However the thing that didn’t make sense was Niel. Things just weren’t adding up with him. The Niel he knew wasn’t lazy or avoidant of work or schedules. He always had the most schedules of them all and never hesitated to take on more. Why didn’t Niel want to work? What made him avoid his schedules and love calls?

Niel did seem like his normal self in most other aspects of his life. Well, at least in the brief moments he had seen the boy. Niel seemed the same. He was as talkative as usual; his smile remained the same, his mannerism also. But when it came to work there was just something that seemed off.

C.A.P rolled to his side, shutting his eyes in the darkness. It was so still and quiet and he should be falling straight to sleep what with the day he had just had but his mind was way too occupied.

Worried wasn’t the word he’d use to describe the feeling he had. He’d call it curiosity. After all, Niel was probably the person in the world he felt he knew the most, despite how much they misunderstood each other while they were together. At the very least he didn’t want to imagine a Niel who didn’t give things in life his all. Niel had gave and sacrificed so much of himself to the business to give it up.

Or maybe that too was just another misunderstanding. Could it be that he just naturally grew weary?

C.A.P tried to go through all of the conversations he had with Niel for any signs of anything bothering him but nothing telling came. In the end he just didn’t see enough of Niel yet to make any assessment of the matter. He resigned himself to having to sit back and observe things himself, because he definitely wasn’t going to ask.

And so instead his mind drifted to other things, more specific matters, like those of his proposed unit. He wasn’t surprised. N.A.P was a really popular brand within TEEN TOP for the angels. They’d liked it before Niel and C.A.P even knew they felt anything for each other and continued to support it long after the two participants stopped. He didn’t mind performing with Niel and he believed Niel when he said he didn’t mind it either.

“You know I don’t have any problem working with C.A.P hyung…I don’t. I really… I just… nevermind.”

Niel’s voice echoed in his mind. They were professionals after all. They're performed under worst conditions before. There was nothing unfavorable about a unit with the two of them.

Instead, it was just another half statement to add to the mystery in his mind.

“If you still liked me I…”

So many “ifs”.

“Despite everything that happened I just couldn’t—“

He could still see Niel’s pained face in his mind’s eye. The face he made that morning during dance practice C.A.P had seen countless times before in their younger years. The way Niel’s voice shook displayed all of the emotion he didn’t dare put into words.

“I really loved you.”

Loved.

C.A.P sat up in his bed cursing under his breath and he swung his legs over the side and got up. He moved to his desk, switching on the lamp and seating himself on the rickety chair. There was a notebook there and he flipped it open to the first page as he grabbed the nearest writing utensil to him, a felt tip green marker.

It was late into the night and he had another long day starting early the next morning. However, C.A.P had always been a slave to his inspirations and right now he was moved to do only one thing: write.

-to be continued-

AN: annnnd there ya go! does anyone know what's going on with Niel? I think i put in enough hints so far but wihtout really saying anything explicitly. Anyway next chapter is back to Ljoe again!

Thanks again for reading commenting and everything else~ LOVE U