Three

For L.Joe he lived under the philosophy that life already had enough problems without your adding to them. There were so many variables and unexpected outcomes though he did his best to keep himself as problem free as possible. All of his decisions were made with care because, though it was inevitable to experience hard times, he wanted to be able to confidently know he hadn’t caused any himself.

It was like that in all aspects of his life. His career was of course launched by a chance. Many things in his youth were like that and results were mixed. He couldn’t control every aspect of his life nor could he have complete control of his health, his family and the list goes on.

He was dealt plenty of bad hands. He had a love for music but hi raw passion wasn’t enough alone to carry him towards his goals. He was cursed with a weak and frail body that couldn’t be pushed as far as he’d like it to go. His adolescence also left scars on his psyche that had yet to fully heal and his heart remained sensitive.

Therefore, caution was the way to go. Avoiding drama contributed to a good life despite whatever challenges. After all, most of the annoying problems were the kids self-inflicted and the worst of them all were the recurring bunch. Procrastination, excessive drinking or partying, the negativity stemming from choosing friends unwisely, there were all self-made oblivion.

That’s why he hated seeing a problem come from a mile away and not being able to stop it. Problems like the one staring right at him that morning in the living room.

His eyes scanned the scene. It was 10am and the room quiet as was the rest of the dorm. However things weren’t as they should have been. L.Joe found himself transported back to a time when he was 20 years old again and he had to shake his head to remind himself that it wasn’t right.

C.A.P was sleeping stretched across the couch, mouth open in a silent snore. Niel was squeezed in beside him. The younger male’s arms were curled into his chest, with his head pressed against C.A.P’s collar. They could barely fit the both of them on the crowded piece of furniture. C.A.P’s legs were raised on the armrest while Niel’s legs curled over to the side, touching the floor. It didn’t look comfortable in the least, but the pair slept on soundly. C.A.P’s arm was wrapped familiarly over Niel’s shoulders, keeping him from completely falling off.

It must have been muscle memory that allowed them to sleep so close together without either falling in such a tight space. Yet, something knew it wasn’t quite right and held off from sleeping completely tangled together.

L.Joe ran fingers through his dark tresses before walking over and tapping Niel’s shoulder.

“Daniel ah,” he whispered, hoping C.A.P wasn’t still such a light sleeper.

The way the leader’s face twitched told L.Joe he was and he wondered if he should just focus on waking him instead. However, L.Joe continued to pull Niel’s sleeve.

Niel’s body rolled over and towards him and C.A.P released his hold without even waking. L.Joe caught Niel’s body before it even hit the floor.

“Niel ah,” he said again, voice strained now from supporting the weight.

Niel’s face scrunched up cutely and a muttered protest fell from his sleep swollen lips. He opened his eyes, squinting at L.Joe and looking near murderous.

“Come on. Let’s go to your room,” L.Joe said coaxing the other into a sitting position.

Thankfully Niel complied and even wordlessly got to his feet, with L.Joe’s help of course. L.Joe led the other down the hall, passing his own bedroom even when Niel tried to go in, and leading him to his proper shared room with Changjo. Changjo was still sleeping like a mound beneath his sheets. L.Joe pulled back Niel’s blanket before helping him in and as soon as his head bit the pillow his brief state of consciousness was replaced once more by sleep.

Or so he thought.

As he turned away L.Joe heard his name called and he looked behind. Niel sat up again, rubbing one eye and then yawning. After which he began to speak.

“What time is it?”

“Like 10 something,” was L.Joe’s reply.

Niel nodded and slid back out of the bed following L.Joe as he left the room.

“I think I’ll just leave now actually since I’m already kind of up,” he said once they were in the hall.

He closed to door behind him with a soft click.

“You’re not too tried to drive?”

Niel shook his head, “Actually I walked here. It isn’t really that far. Like twenty minutes.”

“But what’s the rush?” L.Joe asked. “You just got here. Don’t you want to hang out with Minsoo hyung?”

“I’ll see him tomorrow anyway, right?” Niel reasoned as they went into the living room.

They lowered their voices as Niel collected his things, which consisted merely of a paper shopping bag that held his wallet, phone and keys.

“That’s it?” L.Joe eyed it and Niel just shrugged, slipping on his shoes in the doorway.

The vocalist yawned one more time and turned to say good bye to his hyung who stood watching. L.Joe didn’t miss how Niel’s eyes shifted to the couch where C.A.P still slept soundly.

A slight smile crossed his face before he turned to exit.

“Wait! I’ll walk with you. I haven’t been to Minwoo’s place yet. I want to check it out,” L.Joe said as Niel turned the knob.

Somehow he felt like it would be good to talk to Niel, to scope out the situation. If he were to be honest with himself L.Joe would have to admit that he would be hard pressed to remember a time when he and Niel actually talked, more than just the passing things.

He saw Niel halt but was glad to hear no protest. Grabbing his own wallet, a hat and mask L.Joe slipped into his shoes and they headed out of the apartment.

The elevator ride down from the 7^th floor was silent and L.Joe wondered briefly if this was a productive use of his Sunday. However any regret was erased from his mind as they stepped out of the building into the beauty outdoors. The weather was perfect for a walk. The air was warm and the sun was already working its way high up into the air. There were a few kids playing with skates on the side of the street but they paid the two celebrities no mind when they passed.

Niel was waking up because of the fresh air and stretched his arms up over head and let out a cheerful cry, a radiant smile on his face.

“The others are sleeping off this beautiful morning,” he observed, letting his arms fall back to his sides.

“Yeah, but you would have too if I didn’t wake you,” reminded L.Joe.

“True. Ah… and my neck actually kind of hurts. Not really a good position to spend a few hours in for sure. I’m not a young as I used to be.”

L.Joe rolled his eyes and laughed, “Shut up.”

But he couldn’t help but be a bit grateful that it was Niel who mentioned the subject first. What he saw that morning was no different than if he’d walked in on Niel and Chunji or Niel and Ricky. They were all members and like brothers, right? But he also just couldn’t shake it completely off even with that reasoning. After all, there was history between Niel and their leader. He was damned well afraid of letting it repeat itself.

It was a conversation he actually never allowed himself to have, even when Niel announced he had a new boyfriend L.Joe never actually asked if Niel still harbored feelings for their leader. He always assumed that he did even after the pair broke up. However, after the breakup started to look like it was permanent, after C.A.P’s enlistment, and after the hooking up between Niel and Minwoo he started to feel like it was irrelevant.

Seeing Niel and C.A.P together on that couch though began to stir up those long dormant thoughts.

Now was the time words would have to be said.

“So you two must have stayed up pretty late talking huh?” L.Joe asked.

Niel nodded, smile still playing across his features.

“Yeah it was nice since I didn’t get to go eat meat with you all,” Niel said. “I would have come earlier, really, but I took a later train back than I intentionally planned.”

“What did he say? He wasn’t really talkative at dinner,” admitted L.Joe.

“Well you know me. I don’t really need someone to talk back for me to keep talking,” Niel joked at his own expense. “But really just anything that came to mind. I asked him about some stories from the army too.”

“He definitely didn’t mention the army much.”

Niel shrugged, “Yeah you know he made it sound so mundane. But that’s Minsoo for you. He hasn’t really changed at all.”

They reached the corner of a street and stopped for the light. Niel stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“And you?” L.Joe asked, looking over at Niel as they waited.

“What?”

“Have you changed? Do you think you’ve changed in the time since he’s been gone at least?”

Niel shrugged, turning his eyes upward in thought before meeting L.Joe’s eyes.

“Why do you ask? You’ve seen me, right?”

L.Joe had the chuckle at the reply. It was sort of true though they were the ones who were home the least they still ran into each other or hung out to grab lunch or something enough. He decided to abandon any tact he wished to have. After all, they knew each other so long it wasn’t to be expected for them to have any.

“I mean, have you changed your feelings for him?”

Niel’s mouth fell open, a sound of protest issuing out as he leveled L.Joe with a look as if he had been slapped.

“What?” L.Joe asked, just as the light turned green and he pulled Niel’s sleeve as they began cross. “It is an honest question what with the way you two were curled around each other this morning.”

“Oh my god, Byunghun, is that the only reason you wanted to walk with me?”

“Not the only reason. I do genuinely want to spend time with you. But answer the question please because I’d like to know.”

“I have a boyfriend,” Niel leveled.

L.Joe laughed earnestly at that, noticing how rather than a yes or no he was answered with a vague explanatory statement.

“Having a boyfriend doesn’t mean anything. You can still have feelings for someone else while being in a relationship. Not saying it’s right but it happens.”

“Well, it’s not happening here. I’m over him and we’re just members, friends, hyung-dongsaeng kind of relationship,” Niel replied.

“Ok, just making sure,” L.Joe said. “I wanted to know for sure or not if there was going to be anything between you again.”

“And if there was?”

L.Joe looked at Niel’s face, trying to get a clear feel of the other’s mood and body language. He seemed genuinely curious so L.Joe answered.

“Well, I don’t want a repeat of last time.”

Niel seemed to bristle at that, in a bit of air before his shoulders attempted to relax and he nudged L.Joe in the arm.

“Byunghun!”

“I’m being serious. None of us want that to go down again. Don’t think we’ll be as supportive the first time you two wanted to get together.”

Niel rolled his eyes again and actually pouted.

“Stop. Minsoo and I are over all of that. What happened back then doesn’t define who we are now and… besides, he apologized and I accepted his apology. As well as he accepted mine.”

“So does this mean that—“

“No it means nothing like that,” Niel was adamant about it. “I chose Minwoo because I love him and he loves me. If I thought that I’d want to get with Minsoo again do you think I’d have done that?”

“Well, I don’t know,” L.Joe said. “You might have not known you wanted to get with him but what we think we want can sometimes be different than what we actually want once we see it.”

Niel threw his head back and laughed.

“Really now? Are we speaking from experience? You’re single and have been single for a long time now. How are you giving advice to me?”

L.Joe wasn’t going to bristle at that low blow. His love life or lack thereof was completely his choice. If he wanted someone he would have someone. It was as simple as that. He was mature enough at that point to not get into relationships he didn’t need.

“Look, every situation as different. You can’t compare what I went through with whatever you have,” Niel went on. “You don’t have to worry about me, really. I’m happy with Minwoo. If I weren’t do you really think I’d have left so early this morning just to get to the apartment before him?”

L.Joe didn’t know. He couldn’t read minds but if Niel was convinced there was nothing more to it then L.Joe just would have to take his word for it. Still there was another lingering thought.

“Fair enough,” he held up his hands in mock surrender. “But just because you feel that way doesn’t mean he does.”

And really, L.Joe was thinking it was the case that C.A.P still held lingering feelings. He never seen his hyung look at anyone the way he looked at Niel, even long after the two broke up. The first thing he wanted to know when he was discharged was where Niel was. L.Joe had heard about it from Ricky. He had also seen C.A.P’s reaction to the news of Niel having used his bed during his absence. He’d seen the way C.A.P’s eyes lit up with unspoken hope and wonder and also the way he muttered worse than usual when the topic of Minwoo came up and refused to look anyone in the eye.

“I think I understand him more than you do by this point,” Niel said, bringing L.Joe out of his contemplation. “I understand your concern but it’s not needed. I’m very happy right where I am.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Hmmm.”

“What?” Niel asked. “What are you ‘hmmm’-ing about?”

“You sure you don’t want to stay longer then?”pressed L.Joe. “At the dorm. I’m sure Minwoo wouldn’t mind to miss you a few hours when he gets home. It’s been years since we could be together like this anyway. Just stay.”

They were nearing the high rise apartment building that Minwoo was living in. L.Joe could see it coming up ahead. They approached the last intersection before the block and stopped.

“Why are you asking me this? Weren’t you just trying to warn me away?”

Niel actually looked a bit put out by it, which wasn’t L.Joe’s intention at all.

“I wasn’t trying to warn you away. I was just trying to get a gauge of the situation. Don’t think it’d be any different if Changhyun and Jonghyun were to break up… although I imagine that’d be way more amicable than yours was.”

Niel huffed at that last bit but L.Joe continued.

“But you said you don’t like him and you’re happy with Minwoo. He’s our good friend right? He’d understand. You and I are best friends but C.A.P hyung’s also one of your best friends too. I don’t understand why you’re in such a rush to run back here if you really don’t feel anything like that anymore.”

Niel turned his whole body to L.Joe now, mouth set into a hard line before he stated across the street before the signal even turned green again.

“Daniel ah!” L.Joe called chasing after him.

Thankfully he signal changed a few seconds after that, though the pair was in the middle of the street by that time, and they made it across safely. The crossed a tiny square to the building Minwoo lived in.

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” L.Joe tried to apologize.

Niel turned.

“I’m not offended,” he snapped.

“Ok then what is it?”

“I don’t know,” admitted Niel. “But anyway just… I’ll see him tomorrow, right? At the company since we have dance practice. I told you the reason I left the dorm early. It has nothing to do with C.A.P and everything to do with Minwoo. I told Minwoo I was going to be here when he got here.”

“Ok, and now you’re here,” L.Joe said, gesturing towards the building the stood in front of.

“So we are,” Niel looked down at his shoes.

L.Joe didn’t understand why Niel insisted on it but he didn’t want to make him any more flustered than he was.

“So, can I come in?” he asked.

Niel shifted uncomfortable at that and muttered something that sounding like, “You probably shouldn’t.”

“Minwoo’s my friend too,” L.Joe said. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind and I haven’t been up there yet.”

Niel hesitated at that before shaking his head again, but this time he did smile, apologetically.

“I’ll talk to him about maybe doing something with all of the guys in his place, OK. Thanks for walking me,” Niel said before turning and entering the building.

L.Joe didn’t bother to follow.

---

Returning home that evening, because L.Joe wasn’t going to head straight back after already being out, he found the entire dorm alive. He didn’t know how long he’d be staying there himself. He liked being with his family and his dogs were there too, but he had to admit to himself he did miss the feeling of being at his second home. With C.A.P back and the next week Chunji things would finally getting back to how it used to be.

He dropped his keys on the television stand before walking into the kitchen area where his other members were. C.A.P was sitting on a stool near the kitchen island watching as the maknae pair worked on making something. Ricky was chopping at a large spring onion while Changjo measured our flour into a mixing bowl.

Ricky had such an intense look on concentration on his face that L.Joe couldn’t help but feel mildly sorry for him.

“I’m home,” he announced, coming all the way in and sitting on the stool beside C.A.P.

He reached out and tilted the bowl Changjo had towards him to pear inside only to have the maknae snatch it back and smack his hand with the end of his spoon.

“Ouch,” L.Joe rubbed his hand.

“Welcome back, hyung,” beamed Ricky. “Jonghyun and I are making our special buchimgae for C.A.P hyung since he hasn’t had it yet!”

“I won’t die will I?” C.A.P asked, looking just a tad concerned.

L.Joe patted his shoulder, “No. I’m still alive aren’t I? These two can be trusted.”

C.A.P nodded at that and reached down to take a sip from his glass.

“So hyung, what did you do today?” Ricky asked.

“Walked with Daniel back to Minwoo’s place then went to get lunch with some friends, catch a movie and did some shopping,” L.Joe shrugged. “The usual.”

He made sure to watch C.A.P from the corner of his eye when he mentioned Niel and notice the way C.A.P set down his glass and looked so disinterested to the point where he seemed like he was faking it. L.Joe made mental note of it. Niel may be convinced there was nothing going on but L.Joe wasn’t going to end his watch so easily. Of course things were made simpler though with Niel being basically attached to his current boyfriend’s hip.

“Aww he isn’t staying over again?” Ricky looked disappointed. “But this is the first weekend with Hyung back!”

“We’ll have plenty of time to hang out with him later,” reasoned Changjo, bumping Ricky a bit with his hip. “Plus you’re going to start regretting all the quiet nights we had with just us alone in the place soon.”

“Will not—“ Ricky began to protest, looking at his taller boyfriend but then noticed the pointed look on the other’s face and blushed. “I mean… oh! Y,yeah… t,that…”

L.Joe resisted the urge to face palm from how simple Ricky could be sometimes.

C.A.P laughed, “I don’t mind. Just make sure to keep it down when you do.”

“Will do!” Changjo chirped happily despite Ricky’s cries of protest.

And with that statement L.Joe’s palm met his own face.

-to be continued-

AN: wow one you wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to find a picture for the top of each chaapter. i know it doesn't seem like it but i literally hunt for 10 minutes befre settling on the most basic selca HAHA! this is what happens i gues when authors have not "cover" for their story...

ALSO wow it taking forever for the things that i plan to happen happen! why am i like this. also why is it 5:40am!? urg

thanks for all comments subs and votes! They really make me feel glad. Also I feel pressure ahhh! I hope I can meet expectations... THANK YOU!