I was walking lifelessly, not bothering where I am going to. I just let my feet dragged me wherever it wanted. I pity myself. Why? Why am I involved with this ? All I ever wanted is her.. to love me. But things didn’t turn out well. I was there, when she needed a shoulder to lean on, I was there. Every time she felt scared, angry, ecstatic or miserable, I was there.

-Flashback-

“WHAT? HELL NO. I WON’T DO THAT!” I screamed my heart out. I was fuming, really. I didn’t expect her to do that. But my anger was vanished when I saw her face. When she begged me to do that.

“Please Jessica. I.. I’m sorry. I just—“ Seeing her unhappy being with me is too much to handle and now what? She’s asking me to help her, help her to get that girl.

“Kwon Yuri. I’m telling you. I won’t do that.” I tried to calm myself but deep inside I wanted to explode.

“Please Jess. This is the only favour I’m going to ask. Please. Just this once.” I looked at her. Her eyes were so puffy. Maybe, she cried so hard last night. Well, who the hell would be so calm right? If the one you love, loves someone else. Oh there’s one. It’s me.

“Yul, look. I.. I can do your favour but.. I.. don’t think she.. will like me back.” Am I really going to give in? I love Yuri. I love her so damn much. But seeing her like this? No. I don’t want that. I don’t want her to cry every night. I don’t want her to pretend she’s happy when I’m around.

“But Jessica. Kim Taeyeon will like you. You’re pretty, cute, smart, nice. You’re perfect Jessica.” Then why can’t you love me back? If I’m perfect in your eyes, then why? Why is it Tiffany? Why not me?

“I.. I’ll try my best Yul. Just don’t cry anymore, alright? Don’t cry.” I sighed. I know I’m going to regret it in the future but I’d rather be the one to get hurt, not just her.

“Thanks Jessica. I love you.” She stood up and hugged me. My heart is beating so fast. Hearing her saying I love you is.. too good to be true.

“No.. problem.. Yuri. You know I’ll do anything for.. for you, right?” I glanced at her as soon as I loosen the hug. She’s smiling, not the fake smile though. A sincere smile.

-End of flashback-

My tears began to flow as I recalled the memory. It happened after class earlier. I didn’t expect that my senior year, my last year, will turn out like this. What a twist of events.

“Yuri, why are you hurting me? Why are you doing this to me?” I thought. I wiped my tears using the back of my hand. “It’s true. The person who makes you strong is your greatest weakness.” I smiled bitterly.

I found myself entering a café shop. The place looked so beautiful, cozy and warm. I ordered one of my favourites, frappuccino. After ordering, I sat in a chair near the window. I stared at the people outside the shop who were walking, running and playing. It made me calm somehow.

After 2 hours of just sitting there and not doing anything, I decided to go home. I really want to sleep. I want to forget the pain I’m feeling right now. I want  everything that happened today was just a bad dream, a really bad dream.

“Jessica, are you okay?” My sister named Krystal, asked as soon as I entered our house. Worry is clearly shown in her eyes. I faked a smile and nodded. “Well, if you need something or if you need someone, just talk to me okay? Because I swear, you’re not okay. You can fool everyone but not me. I’m your sister for Pete’s sake!” I tried my best to show my sincere smile but she just shook her head. I guess she’s not buying my actions.

I took a cold shower to help me ease my mind. Should I call my parents and tell them I want to go back to States? Urgh. Not my option. I’m pretty sure, Yuri will be disappointed.

I wore a comfortable dress and slumped my body on my bed. I am physically and emotionally tired. But there was no turning back.

My phone vibrated and I hastily check who it was. Before, I was like the happiest person in the world whenever she texted me. But now, it doesn’t feel the same way anymore. I was hurt badly..

From: Yuri <3

Thank you so much Jessica :)) You are the best!! I love you princess. Good night! See you tomorrow! <3

Princess? I scoffed. God knows how much I wanted her to stop calling me like that. It’s like putting a salt in a wound. It hurts so ing bad.

To: Yuri

You’re welcome, Yul! You’re my best friend after all.

I changed her name from “Yuri <3” to just “Yuri”. Maybe I should try avoiding her from now on? Good thing she’s not my classmate or else, it would be too difficult to do that. I want to hug her so tight, not letting her go but I can’t. I am just her best friend. BEST FRIEND.

Best friend.

Best friend.

Only her best friend.

Best friend.

Best friend.

I let that thing sank in my mind until I got tired and headed to sleep.

I woke up late so I hurriedly went to the bathroom and did my business there. I took a really fast shower and grabbed my clothes to wear. After that, I went downstairs and saw Krystal grinning widely. I threw a pillow at her face.

“Yah. Why did you do that? And where did you get that pillow? Wow.” Her grin turned into a confused one. I didn’t answer but instead, I started to dig in. I was running late and she kept on talking nonsense.

“Shut up Krys, will ya?” I stared at her in disbelief. She just replied a “Whatever.” She stood up so I grabbed her wrist.

“I’m late, you dimwit. It’s your fault!” She just smiled at me. Oh my gosh Krystal Jung. What the hell is happening to you?

“Well, let’s just use our car then. I’m going to drive.” By that, she earned a playful slap from me.

3 minutes before class. Thank goodness, I made it! I quickly went to my seat and landed my there.

“There will be a new student, I mean a new transfer student from other section. Treat her nicely, okay?” I didn’t care about anyone or anything. I care about how will I execute my plan. That let-Kim-Taeyeon-fall-on-your-charms- mission. Urgh.

“Come in.” I heard a few steps and it suddenly stopped. I heard a lot of screams. Who could that be?

“Introduce yourself please.” My classmates became wilder and wilder every second. This was getting so annoying so I raised my head slightly, getting a clearer view of that person..

And my mouth agape.