The next few months were focused on learning to be a new mum. Her children were her center of attention. After walking the brink of death and almost leaving her children parentless, Sophie was determined to be the best for the twins. Sophie is their mother, she is also their father. The boys were helpful. They were there every step of the way, every new accomplishment, assisting Sophie in every way possible. Youngbae and Jiyong grew fond of her eldest where as the maknaes pampered her princess. Staring into her children’s faces pained her so much. They were living reminders of what used to be and what was once hers.

 

One beautiful summer day in June, as the sun shined brightly warming the earth and everyone on it. Sophie received Seunghyun’s fifth letter. He wrote:

 

 

 

Hey hot mama,

Two months…That’s a milestone. Chukahae! You are the strongest women I know and I love you so much for it. Now, time to let your hair down. Go out buy a new dress and bikini! Time to hit the bar for some wine and champagne. Call the girls up; I’m sure they miss you. Go have fun and laugh! Just leave Daehyun and Hae-won with the boys and stop worrying.

 

Love forever and always,

Daehyun and Hae-won’s daddy

PS I love the ring to that name…Daehyun and Hae-won’s daddy… Daehyun and Hae-won’s appa.

 

 

 

 

It was Sophie’s luck that Dara agreed to accompany her shopping. Soon Chaerin, Bom and Minzy joined their retail therapy session. Everyone was hoping to get a glimpse of the twins. Sophie enjoyed the girl’s company. They hit the drinking bars and the night clubs that lined Gangnam. The neon lights lit the streets ever so brightly. After more than nine months of not drinking, she really had fun. Talking and laughing as strangers flirted with them and bought drinks for them. Bom and Dara was the livewire of the gang. She was saying things she thought were not funny yet it tickled everybody’s funny bone. Minzy ruled the dance floor leaving everyone breathless at her awesome dance moves where as Chaerin was the ultimate heartbreaker, turning down one man at a time. She hasn’t laugh so much, as if she forgotten how to laugh but alien Bommie and her trustee sidekick Dara broke her shell. It was as if she had zero problems or emotional turmoil she was trying to bury deep in her heart. Seunghyun was right, this was a way for her to laugh and stop worrying. It’s not that the boys didn’t make her laugh but it was never the same without Seunghyun. Their little gang was no longer complete.

“Well, hello ladies.”

They all turned their head towards the source of the voice. To their surprise it was Seungri.

“Yah, Lee Seunghyun! What are you doing here?” Chaerin snapped at him.

“No need to be so harsh or I’ll double the price of that double scotch in your hand.” He answered cockily, smiling at them as he pulled a chair to their table.

“Try me” Chaerin replied.

“Tsk, I really like a fierce lady.” Seungri answered still smiling at Chaerin.

“Euw, get a room you two.” Dara instantly replied, pulling off a disgusted face.

“I’m only joking. Don’t be so serious. Aish.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be babysitting? Where’s Youngbae?” Bommie asked.

“Well, yeah I was then the kitchen got some trouble so I had to come down. Youngbae is playing daddy. Sophie noona, don’t worry, we just fed them and they are asleep now. And since I’m here, I might as well bodyguard you ladies.”

“Thanks but no thanks. I feel safer without you.” Chaerin answered.

“You know, you two should just date already. All this back and forth flirting and cat games are really tiring now.” Minzy said voicing her opinion.

“Actually we are. Just that she’s too shy to admit it. I mean, is it embarrassing to be dating me?” Seungri shot at Chaerin. Chaerin simply smiled at him.

They all gasps at the sudden revelation. They all congratulated the couple. Sophie was happy yet a small shred of jealousy sipped in her heart. Her friends were moving on with their live and yet she felt stuck. She began feeling depressed again but she remained silent and smiled happily at their maknae. She was genuinely happy for him. The man she treated like her own brother, her baby brother finally started dating again after a long time.

 

 

 

 

 

She went home that night to find her babies sound asleep on the huge guest room bed that now the boys occupied. Youngbae and Jiyong sleeping on of each side of the bed with the twins in between of them. Daesung fell asleep in front of the TV after watching his drama marathon. Seungri collapsed on the floor next to the sleeping Daesung. Sophie went out to the garden. She once envisioned herself cuddling with Seunghyun there while their kids played on the grass, now everything seemed a distant memory. She rested her chin on her knee, feeling the wind around her, thinking back how far things have gone. She never expected to be married and widowed at a fairly young age. Every now and then she misses him but feeling the breeze blowing on her face and through her hair, she is reminded that he was there with her, loving her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a beautiful Saturday morning and Sophie was in the TV room, feeding Hae-won while Daehyun gleefully played on his own in the playpen. The house door clicked open revealing Jiyong and Youngbae their early morning visitor.

Jiyong picked Daehyun up from the playpen and the baby smiled widely seeing him.

“Ayo what’s up my lil man danny?” showering the little boy with nonstop kisses on his cheeks.

“Stop hogging the baby Ji, my turn.” Youngbae said trying to take Daehyun into his arms. Sophie smiled seeing her two bestfriend.

“It’s a good thing they came in a pair.” Sophie said as she handed Hae-won who just finish drinking to Youngbae who gladly took her.

The postman came by and delivered Seunghyun’s sixth letter. Sophie gladly opened the letter as Youngbae and Jiyong looked on.

“Are you sure you still wanna do what letters tells you to? I mean, maybe it’s just a little ridiculous?” Jiyong cautiously uttered. Sophie ignored him not wanting to strain their recently mended relationship.

The letter read:

Hey baby,

Challenge yourself and try something new. Remember the baking set I told you to get before you had Daehyun and Hae-won? Well, it’s time to bring them out and get your hands dirty in the kitchen. Enroll for some baking classes, you might like it. You’ll never know unless you try!

 

Love

Seunghyun

PS Hwaiting!!

 

Youngbae, Jiyong and Sophie stared at the letter, too astounded to respond. What a weird request but it was their hyung, he was the founding father of everything odd, peculiar and alien like.

As asked by Seunghyun, she signed up for some weekend baking classes at the nearby community college. The boys agreed to babysit Daehyun and Hae-won when she attends the classes. She was nervous before attending the first class. Never in her life did she imagine herself in the kitchen baking cakes and creams. To her surprise, she was a natural in the kitchen. She discovered her inner Martha Steward and she loved it. She enjoyed her classes and she kept coming back. Leaning various types of pastries and delicacies from a French Baguette to a Chinese dumpling. The boys too were astonished at her abilities. The cakes she decorated were beautiful and magnificent. Sophie decorated cakes from fondant to fresh cream, smallest to biggest and she really enjoyed herself. Friends and families alike loved her baking and begged her to bake for them. Soon she began taking orders making cakes, tarts and cupcakes for close friends and family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Days turned to weeks into months and she was busy with her little dessert business. It was only when she was in the pantry that she found Seunghyun’s seventh letter hidden among the flour and sugar. She was surprised that his letter was not delivered by the postman.

 

 

 

 

The love of my life Sophie,

I love you very much Sophie and I know you love me as much. You don’t need my belongings to remember me by. You don’t need them as proof that I once existed or still exist in your mind. You don’t need to wear my coats and sweaters to feel me around you. I’m already with you, always wrapping my arms around you, hugging you and protecting you.

 

Love forever and always

Seunghyunnie

PS I could only bribe the postman up until my sixth letter. After this, letters will be coming your way in all sorts of ways so be on the look out!

 

 

 

 

She sighed after reading the letter. She doesn’t know if she’s ready to go thru his things. It’s been 10 months since he left but everything still felt like it happened yesterday. The wounds were still there, still bleeding and she was still mending them. She looked at her two 6 months baby happily playing in the playpen; she still couldn’t stare into their faces without that tingling shred of pain seeping through her heart. She hated herself for not being able to rid of those ill feelings. She was snapped back to reality when her eldest cried. She approached Daehyun and picked him up.

“Why is mummy’s little boy crying? Are you hungry sweetheart?” she said as she released her s allowing the baby to on them. The baby happily drank in her arms. She looked into Daehyun’s brown orbs. The pain crept back in; those eyes were carbon copy of Seunghyun’s.

“You are really handsome you know that. Girls will be falling left and right, heads over heels for you. Just like your father.” She said kissing the baby boy’s plump rosy cheeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sophie couldn’t pull through with clearing his stuffs so she kept postponing it but she kept on thinking of Seunghyun’s letter. He wanted her to clear his things so she could move on. Sophie gathered her courage one afternoon after putting the twins to sleep for a nap. Armed with empty boxes, she braced herself going through Seunghyun things. She packed through all from his t-shirts to his shoes to his paper in his work desk. She dialed his phone number that she purposely maintained to listen to his voice answering the voicemail one last time before she turned off his phone and placed it safely in the box. Her tears began flooding her eyes. She took a deep breath before she worked on his cufflinks, neckties and bow ties nicely wrapping them in a box ready for storage. Lastly she went through his extensive collection of trench coats, sweaters, cardigans and vest. Seunghyun really love those coats and sweaters of his. Sophie smiled remembering exactly when he wore each of them. A black satin tuxedo protected by plastic coverings caught her attention. She ran her fingers feeling the arm of the suit. The tux still had his smell after all these time. It was the tuxedo he wore on their wedding day. More tears began streaming down as memories of that beautiful day flashed before her eyes. The way he smiled at her as he stood handsomely at the end of the altar. The way he confidently said his vows, they were all coming back to her. Sophie folded the tux nicely ready to tuck them in the box when a white envelope fell out from one of the pockets. Shocked, Sophie picked up the envelope. It was addressed to her and it was dated for September. Sophie smiled at the crazy coincidence, that she found the letter in September. She opened the letter to read it.

 

 

 

 

My childhood sweetheart Sophie,

Happy Chuseok!! Remember where we met? It’s time for the twins to play around in the leaves. It’s a beautiful autumn after all…

 

Your childhood bestfriend,

Seunghyun

PS I love you forever and always.

 

 

 

 

 

That weekend Sophie invited the boys for a picnic at a park along the Han River. The boys gladly accepted as it has been a while since they saw the twins. Sophie spent the whole morning baking egg tarts, a strawberry cake and apple pie for the picnic. She knew so well that the boys loved her egg tarts and are probably missing them that she made a few trays especially for them. She didn’t mind baking, surprisingly she finds it therapeutic and seeing how much her twins smiled and laughed after testing her creations made her love it even more. That afternoon they met the boys at the park.

“How is my baby girl?” Daesung and Seungri said running towards Sophie and the twins as they fought to take Hae-won from Sophie.

“My man Danny!” Youngbae said cooing over Daehyun. Jiyong on the other hand pulled Sophie into a tight embrace.

“How are you Soph? It’s been a while.” Jiyong asked as he helped Sophie set the picnic blanket.

“I’m fine Ji. The twins are a handful but I’m alright and orders keep piling up and I like it. It keeps me busy.”

“No, I mean how you are in here?” Jiyong asked again pointing at his heart. Sophie hesitated to answer, she looked to the ground.

“Every day is a struggle I guess. You know staring at Daehyun and Hae-won’s faces that resemble Seunghyun so much. It’s haunting sometimes but there’s nothing I can do.”

Jiyong nodded and answered “Yeah, it is scary how they are so alike hyung.”

Sophie then handed Jiyong the latest letter from Seunghyun. He read it carefully, line by line before he looked up to Sophie.

“So you guys met here?”

“Yeah, I was 7 and my dad moved the whole family here to be closer to his side of the family. I didn’t have any friends here so I was lonely. So my mum brought me here to play at the park. There a naughty small boy about the same age pulled my hair so I cried.”

“Don’t tell me it was hyung who pulled your hair.” Jiyong face palmed his forehead.

“Yea it was! He laughed so hard at me that I actually hated him. Then my mum kept bringing me back here so I keep seeing Seunghyun but I did not play with him. Until one day a bully pushed me of the slides and he came and fought the bully for me. He said to that kid, “Hey, nobody pushes her around except me!” So we became friends, always wanting to be the only one kicking my .” Sophie laughed, hugging her knees as Jiyong laughed heartily listening to her story.

“Funny how the universe works, bringing us together in the most unconventional way possible. But seriously, is this healthy Soph? I mean you are doing everything according to hyungs letter. It’s as if he has a grip on you and won’t let you go.” Jiyong said looking straight at Sophie.

“I know it’s weird and all to get letters from the dead but somehow I feel like he’s guiding me, looking out for me. Being my guardian angel.”

They were then interrupted by Seungri who came with Hae-won.

“Omma, we are hungry. We want some of your delicious pies, please.” Seungri said pulling his puppy eyes on Sophie.

“Please maknae, I have cuter kids now so your puppy eyes or aegyo won’t work on me.” Sophie cockily answered him.

“This is your fault. My noona doesn’t fall for my charms anymore.” Seungri pouted at Hae-won who was in his arms giggling and laughing.

They spent the afternoon sitting on top of the brown leaves under a shading tree. They talked, laughed and joked as Daehyun slept on Daesung’s lap and Hae-won on Jiyong’s.

“Ahh, noona, I miss your pies!” Seungri said indulging his appetite with more of Sophie’s apple pie.

“Of course, you rarely visit her cause you were busy stuffing yourself in your girlfriend.” Jiyong sarcastically shot.

“Aish hyung are you jealous?” Daesung smirked mischievously.

Jiyong sulked for being teased by the maknaes as the other laughed heartily at him.

“Noona, don’t you want to expand your little cake business. I mean, you are only taking orders from friends and families now so why not open a bakery or coffee shop or something?” Seungri said voicing his opinion.

Sophie stared at him. Silently thinking, Jiyong, Daesung and Youngbae’s eyes fixed on her.

“I dunno. I’ll think about it.” Sophie uttered.

As they were talking, Daehyun woke up and their attention turned to the crying baby. Later his sister woke up and soon the babies were playing happily on the grass. Sophie smiled as she sat watching her children gleefully playing with the boys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

October came with the chilly wind indicating the coming winter. The foliage of the trees falling off undressing the once evergreen trees. Sophie was busy in the kitchen filling in orders when the doorbell rang. At the door someone left a bouquet that was beautifully wrapped in heart shape clipping the red ribbon. It was a bouquet of sunflowers. She excitedly picked up the flowers and looked for the card attached with it. She hasn’t received any flowers since Seunghyun’s demise. It was a sweet serendipity to get flowers. The card read:

 

 

 

 

 

 

A sunflower for my sunflower, to brighten the dark October days. Plant more, safe in the knowledge that a warm and bright summer awaits. And never forget to aim higher, to shoot for the moon and if ever you miss, you will still land among the stars. Promise me you’ll find a job you love.

 

Love forever and always

Seunghyun

 

 

 

Sophie’s POV

His letter made me think. I have been unemployed for nearly a year since my graduation but I didn’t feel like sending Daehyun and Hae-won to the nursery. It was too soon and they were too young. Then I remembered Seungri’s idea the other day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cold winter wind came rolling in as the season changed ringing in November. It’s exactly a year now since Seunghyun left. It was a windy Sunday that Seunghyun’s friends and family gathered at the church for a memorial service. After the service she went to the cemetery to visit where his body was laid to rest. With a child in each arm, Sophie cautiously walked along the rows of tombs towards Seunghyun’s. She let go of her children in front of the tomb, placing a bouquet of fresh and bright sunflowers into the vase, lighting a handful of white candles. Seunghyun’s handsome face was staring at them. She crouched down to hug her twins who stood silently with her.

“Say hello to appa.” Tears trickled down her cheeks. She inhaled the air, filling her lungs as she closed her eyes, letting the wind blow on her face, feeling his love. She opened her eyes when she heard footsteps approaching them. Her mother-in-law pulled her into a tight hug before scooping the twins into her arm. Her father-in-law too, hugging her, caressing her hair.

“How are you child?” His mother asked.

“I’m okay. Keeping myself busy and these two are always a handful.” She said smiling at them

“I’m happy to see you happy. But I have something for you. I told him it was a bad idea but he insisted and I couldn’t say no.” Seunghyun’s mother said as she reached into her bag and pulled out a familiar white envelope. Sophie cautiously took the letter and thanked her. After Seunghyun’s parent prayed for a while they left her there with her two babies. She opened the letter

 

 

 

 

 

 

To my dearest Sophie,

 

I don’t have much time. I don’t mean literally. I mean, I told you I wanted ice cream and you went out to get me some and you’ll be home soon. I have a feeling that this is gonna be my last letter for you, because there is only one more thing left to tell you. It’s not to bring you down to memory lane or to make you buy a dress or go out for a drink, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It’s to tell you how much you’ve moved me, changed me, making me grow into a man. You challenge me like no one ever has. You made me a man by loving me Sophie, you stayed by my side through thick and thin. And for that I am eternally grateful. If you can promise me one thing, promise me that whenever you are sad, unsure, lost or simply lose complete faith in yourself that you will try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife and best friend. You made my life, Sophie. But I’m just a chapter in your book of life. There are more exciting ones to come, I promise. So here goes, the last piece: Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that sign, when life as you know it ends. Now you are free Sophie, free from my haunting memories giving way for you to make new ones. I will always be here when you need me. Remember what I told you about my love being like the wind? You can always feel it even if you can’t see it. Till we meet again.

 

 

Love forever and always,

Choi Seunghyun

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

one more chapter till the end.... tell me your thoughts.. and oh thank you for loving the story <3 i am really grateful!