Sophie closed the door behind her as she climbed up towards her room. Curiosity overwhelming her, Seunghyun sent letters to their friends even her cousin before he died but nothing for her. She began rummaging through Seunghyun’s bed side table. All his things were still untouched and things were just like they were when he left them. It pained her to go through his things but her gut feeling was telling her there is something Seunghyun is hiding and she wanted to know. She stood up from the floor with much obscurity hugging her bump she heaved her heavy body on the bed. She gazed around the room and remembered Seunghyun’s desk in their home library. She stood up and waddled towards the silent library. She toggled the lights on and saw his magnificent oak desk sitting in the middle of the room. The walls lined with books properly in place up until the ceiling. The stunning marble fireplace cold filled with dark ashes. She took a deep breath and Seunghyun scent still lingered in the room like he was there sitting at his desk doing his work. The smell exhilarating Sophie with memories she had of Seunghyun. Tears threaten to escape her eyes until her eyes fell upon a photo on his desk. In the photo was two kids with similar complexion as the little girl kissed the little boy’s cheeks while he sat on a swing at the playground. Sophie smiled wiping the tears forming in the corner of her eyes. She sat at the desk and began pulling the drawers to reveal its contents. The last drawer at the bottom caught her attention when she saw a box with a post-it note on it. Written on the note: For my love Sophie.

Sophie held her chest as she gasped in excitement on the content of the box. Her fingers lined the brim of the box. Slowly she pulled the lid off exposing its content. In the box were letters, probably more than 20 letters with stacks of papers underneath it and on top of it all was 2 small black boxes. Her hands reached out to the small black box first, opening it, what she saw was his wedding ring. The wedding ring was perfectly secured on a gold necklace. Her fingers fiddled the ring. She didn’t realize that she buried her husband without his ring. She then kissed the ring and whispered “I miss you so much Tabi.” She put on the necklace which glimmered stunningly on her neck. She reached out to the second box, carefully opening it. Inside twinkling under the light that illuminated the study was two magnificent cross necklaces. She ran her fingers on the necklaces inspecting them closely. At the back of the cross were engraftments. Both had different writings on them. The first necklace had SS DaeHyun and the second necklace had SS Hae-won. They were for their twins. Sophie gasps in amusement. Seunghyun has thought of everything before leaving. Next she held the letters in her hand and inspected them closely. Only one was addressed to her and the rest were addressed to their unborn children each stating their age. She opened the letter addressed to her. With trembling hands she saw his handwritten letter beautifully drafted for her to read.

To my love Sophie,

My love, there are no words I can say nor write to you expressing how much I regret for having to leave you at such a delicate time. The problem with time I have learned to understand, weather it was the 15 years of friendship we had or the last few months we spent as a married couple is that, time will eventually run out. I regret not being able to see our children grow up and be as beautiful as their mother. I regret that I couldn’t be there for you holding your hand, encouraging you as you bring our children into this world but despite my regrets I have never regretted loving you and making you my wife. That beautiful day in spring will forever be the best decision I have ever made because my love you are the best thing that ever happened to me. The love we shared was the one thing that made me strong enough to pull through to my last breath. Together with this letter I have prepared letters for Daehyun and Hae-won up until their 19^th birthday. You might disagree thinking how selfish I am to haunt them with the thought of a father that is never there for them but it pains me even more that they will grow up thinking that their father never loved them. For their first birthday I have prepared them a cross necklace each. When they wear the necklace around their neck, the necklace will be the closest to their heart and know that no matter where they are on this earth, happy, sad, angry or scared, that I am always close to them in their heart.

My love, my seemingly untimely demise was foreseen even before you came back to Seoul. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor in January. In the beginning, the treatment went well but after a couple rounds of chemotherapy, my body began rejecting the treatments and there was no other options left but to live my life to the fullest. Yes I was selfish for your love because I knew I was dying but I still confessed my feelings to you. But there is not a moment in my life that I regretted expressing my love for you because you made me healthier and you gave me hope. Staring into those blue eyes of yours made the sky a different blue. So I thank you my love for giving me the best days of my life. Thank you for being my best friend and soul mate.  Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous; love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins and delights in the truth. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures whatever comes. Love will last forever.

Sincerely,

Seunghyun.

PS I Love you forever and always.

Sophie’s eyes became blurry as tears flooded her eyes streaming down her face. She couldn’t bare the pain of reading his letters. She gasp for air, she was breathless. Cradling her precious bump, rubbing her belly and in the attempt to calm herself down. She clutches the letter close to her heart and her hands fiddled with the ring of her neck. She missed him so much. Her hands then reached into the box for the stacks of papers at the bottom of the box. In her hands were files and the one on top was ‘Seoul General Hospital’. She regained her composure as her fingers flipped through the file. She was holding Seunghyun’s medical records. She couldn’t continue reading them and placed the medical records down to proceed reading the other papers. Observing it closely, she read line by line, it was the deed to the house, the cars and all of his assets. All of his assets were divided equally to both Daehyun and Hae-won. Seunghyun has secured their children’s future even before they were born. Sophie was taken aback at how far Seunghyun has thought of them. He even managed to register their children into one of Seoul’s finest school. All were done even before they were born. Sophie looked to the classic grandfather clock that stood marvelously among the bookshelves as the clock 12.

The next day she woke up with her pillow soaked. Seunghyun appeared in her dreams. A sharp surge of pain overwhelmed her. Tears rolled down, clenching her teeth in pain. She sat on the huge bed rubbing her belly.

“What’s wrong Daehyun, Hae-won? Isn’t it a little too early sweetheart? Or do you miss your appa? Omma misses him too.”

Her train of thoughts was disrupted when she heard a huge crash emitting from the living room. Panic rushed as she struggled to get off the bed to pick up the phone to call the boys. Unfortunately all of her calls went to voicemail. Scared, Sophie held onto a cloth hanger she found in the closet. Slowly she crept to the door, stealthy and silent down the steps. Her sight was welcomed by twinkling colorful lights and a gigantic pine tree beautifully decorated with various ornaments and snow. Bright, vividly colored presents stacked nicely under the tree. Red and white stocking lined the marble fireplace each bearing Sophie, Daehyun, Hae-won, Jiyong, Seungri, Youngbae amd Daesung’s name. Sophie gasps in awe at the beautiful sight. Tears welled up, as she smiled. Speechless, at such a meaningful gesture done by her best friends.  

“So, do you like it?” Youngbae said approaching her.

Sophie was still at awe. hanged open unable to answer his question.

“Hello?? Earth to Soph??” Jiyong waved his hands in front of her face.

“You guys shouldn’t have gone through all this trouble!” she shrieked.

“We’re family noona. What is Christmas without family?” Seungri hugged her as the others squished in for a group hug.

Sophie’s POV

I was about to go out to the grocery store to buy supplies for our little Christmas Eve dinner together. The boys were out and about. Daesung had a Christmas special recording, Seungri was busy making sure his restaurants were able to accommodate for the holidays while Jiyong and Youngbae went out for lunch with their parents. Before leaving the house, I was surprised to find a white envelope with a familiar handwriting was probed in the mailbox. Turning the envelope over to unseal it, written on it ‘Let’s go for a drive to the beach before you open me’. Sophie smiled as she hopped into the car.

The cold winter wind blew furiously by the seaside. With the letter in hand she stepped on the sand and walked towards the water. Besides a couple, she was the only visitor to the beach that afternoon. She sat on the ground with much difficulty as her 6 month pregnant belly obstructed her to do so. Her hand trembled as she opened the letter.

To my love Sophie,

How are you baby? I assume you are standing by the seaside reading this? If you are then, good girl! If you aren’t then…I still love you. Did you wear thick clothes? The winter winds are cold so please take care. I hope you are spending the holiday with the boys. I told them to decorate the house for you so you wouldn’t have to do it yourself and just rest. So how is Daehyun and Hae-won? Are they being good babies? I hope they are, I’m sure they are if they are like me..hehe..joking babe.Daddy loves you Daehyun, Hae-won.

I remember not long ago, you whispered to me and you said you couldn’t go on alone without me. Well, you can Sophie. You are strong and brave and you can get through this unharmed. We shared beautiful memories together and you made my life. I have no regrets.

But I am just a chapter in your book of life. There are better and greater ones to come. Remember our beautiful memories but don’t be scared to make some more. Whenever you need me, know that I am always with you. Loving you. Do you feel that nice winter wind blowing at your face? They say love is like the wind. You cannot see it but you can always feel it. My love for you Sophie is like the wind. I may not be with you physically to show you my love but know that my love for you is like the wind, you can always feel it.

Love forever and always,

Seunghyun

Sophie closed her eyes and simply let the wind blow on her face, through her hair. Tears streamed down as she thought of Seunghyun. She buried her face in her hands, silencing her cries. He knew her like the back of his hands. It was as if Seunghyun owned a user’s manual on her. She stood up and suddenly a surge of pain traveled through her body. She bent down, cradling her belly. Cold sweat trickled down her temple. She was scared. In her heart she wished Seunghyun was with her. The pain travelled through to her legs. She lost her balance and fell to the ground. Her lower abdomen cramped. The pain intensified and she felt her belly harden. Panic ridden she called for help from the couple not far from her.

“It’s too early sweetheart. Please don’t do this to mummy. Hang in there please.” Crying, holding onto her precious baby bump.

I would like to apologize for the slow and short update. my grandaunt passed away yesterday morning so we had a lot of services to attend. i hope you guys understand. thank you for subscribing. thank you for the love! leave your thoughts below. i will read them no matter how busy i am. Gomawo^^