Sophie pulled up the drive way of their house. The huge house loomed under the winter cloud. She pushed the door open and stepped in. She stared around the house. Everything was the way she left them. Seunghyun’s laptop was still on the kitchen table where he did his work before falling asleep that fateful night. As she passed the TV room, she saw the throw pillows on the floor exactly where she and Seunghyun left them after they watched TV together that night. Every step she took in that house reminded her of him. She passed by the nursery. The beautiful white nursery that Seunghyun personally painted and drew cute little animals. She smiled as she remembered how hard he worked trying to figure out the animal stencils. The two baby crib stood beautifully in the room waiting for their bundle of joy. Her eyes lingered around the room when a small part on the wall located at the corner of the room caught her attention. She walked up to it and saw Seunghyun’s writing. “Dear DaeHyun and Hae-Won, Daddy loves you forever and always. Be good.” She closed her eyes trying to stop her tears. Her babies kicked and she caressed her bump. Now she understood why Seunghyun was rushing for their babies arrival, he wasn’t going to be there with her to see them being born. This crushed her even more, muffling her cries in her hand she stepped out of the nursery. She went to their bedroom. Hesitantly she turned the door knob revealing their once upon a time marvellous bedroom. Now all she saw was memories of Seunghyun walking out of the closet from the bathroom putting on his shirt getting ready for work . She stepped inside.  She took a deep breath and she could smell Seunghyun’s perfume lingering in the lonesome house. Memories of Seunghyun cuddling her in bed kissing every inch of her body claiming them as his as they made love the night they were bestowed as man and wife. The emotions came rushing back as the images of Seunghyun’s frozen body lay on the bed. She backed away from their bed and bumped into the closet door. She opened the closet door revealing his huge walk in closet. Again Seunghyun’s scent lingers into her nose intoxicating her with his memories. Sophie broke down in his closet burying herself in his clothes. She wore one of Seunghyun’s trench coat. She could feel his scent on her as if embracing her in his manly arms. Tears continued to fall; her heart was empty and broken. She climbed on to Seunghyun’s side of the bed and sat there pulling out her phone dialling Seunghyun’s number simply to hear his voicemail. She dialled multiple times listening to his voice again and again falling to sleep hugging Seunghyun’s pillow.

A week has passed since Seunghyun pass away and she has not started packing Seunghyun’s things for storage. His blazers and coats all hung in the closet as if waiting for its owner to drape them on his body. His cloths still lie on the floor waiting to be picked up. Sophie rubbed her belly as she felt her baby kick. Seunghyun would have jumped excitedly at that she thought. She put on some thick cloths and a furry hat matched with black leather boots. She hasn’t been out of the house since the funeral but today she felt she needed someone to talk to. Sophie parked her car as her heavy footsteps walked up to the church. She looked at its doors, and walked to the side. Snow fell lazily around her so she tucked her coat trying to keep her precious bundle warm. She walked among the rows to tombstone until her eye met a familiar name. Tears escaped her eyes and she felt her baby kick.

Choi Seung Hyun

1989-2013

Loving son, husband, friend and father.

“It’s okay baby. Omma is okay” she said caressing her belly.

She sat down on the snow next to the tombstone with much difficulty and leaned on it.

“How are you Hyunnie? Is it fun up there?”

No one answered only silence accompanied her question.

“I miss you baby. I miss you so so badly. I miss everything about you. I miss you so much it hurts. It’s so lonely without you.” She said with her face buried in her hands muffling her words and cries.

“I dunno how to breathe, I dunno how to sleep. I cannot function without you. I wanna be strong for Daehyun and Hae-Won but I really dunno how to. I need you next to me baby. Please come back. I’m lost Seunghyun, I’m in vain. You’re not here, I feel paralyzed and I’m losing my mind. I’m not the same without you. I feel like I died with you but here I am breathing with a baby on the way. How could you leave me alone in this world Seunghyun?” She cried helplessly next to Seunghyun’s tomb.

“I just want you to be with me. Please come back, please say something. I need you” pleading at the tombstone. Snow fell heavily covering her in its white beautiful flakes, her heart colder than the winter wind and all she wished was to turn back time to that beautiful spring she spent with Seunghyun.

Days turned to weeks then into a new month. She knew Christmas was coming but she didn’t bother to put up a tree. The house she was in was as cold as ice but her heart was colder. They were numb. Every part of her was broken and Daehyun and Hae-Won were the only thing that kept her alive. By the window she could see white beautiful snow falling down. She used to love the snow. Having snow ball fights and making snow angles, now she hated them. They were a constant reminder of her childhood memories that were filled of Seunghyun. All day long she would dwell in her sadness watching dramas over and over again when suddenly the door bell rang. It has been a while since someone visit. The boys kept calling her asking how she was and like a tape recorder she would cheerful say yes. She even lied to her parents saying that she had work that kept her busy. The door bell rang again. She didn’t bother to answer it and continued watching her drama. The voice beyond the door then shouted

“SOPH WE KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE. OPEN UP. WE HAVE A SURPRISE”

She reluctantly opened the door and was greeted by 4 of her best friends.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” they shouted unanimously. The 4 boys were holding balloons, presents and party hats.

“Holy crap you look like ” Kwon Jiyong said the moment he saw her. Their mouth hung opened.

“Noona you said you were okay and busy” Seungri said as he ushered Sophie into the house. Sophie did not look like the Sophie they knew. She was frail and her hair was a mess. Her eyes were swollen and puffy. Her nose was red and she smelled. As a matter of fact, the whole house smelled weird and everything was a mess. Daesung, Jiyong and Youngbae walked around the house inspecting. Daesung being the sensitive guy he was started to tear up as he bowed his head. “Dae, not in front of her” Youngbae commanded.

“Arasso hyung. It’s just that I feel like we failed Seunghyun hyung. Seeing noona like this” Daesung whispered to Jiyong and Youngbae. Seungri on the other hand was busy attending to Sophie.

“Noona, let’s start with a bath arasso? Have you had lunch? How long haven’t you eaten? Did you eat your pre-natal meds? You have to take care of our niece and nephew, noona.” the maknae took his noona by the hand, handed her a towel and lead her to a bathroom. Sophie obeyed silently and entered the bathroom. The 4 of them felt a tug at their heart as they saw how much their best friend has crumbled into nothingness. They then began cleaning the house putting everything back as they were. By the time they were done with the house, Sophie was done cleaning herself. She went to the boys who all stared at her concern written all over their faces.

“It’s my birthday today?” she asked.

“Yeah, today is December 14^th Soph” Jiyong answered.

“Sophie, you should have told us you were struggling. We could have come to you in a blink of an eye” Youngbae said as he held Sophie’s hands. Then the door bell rang. Maknae then stood up to answer the door. He came back carrying a big box that had the words ‘open me’ on top of them.

“The guy said this is for you” he said looking at Sophie.

Sophie looked puzzled at the box. Maknae placed it on the coffee table in front of them. Sophie opened the box. Inside it was a cake written on it “Happy Birthday My Sophie, Love forever and always Tabi” Sophie was shocked and anger consumed her as she said

“Who did this? What sick joke is this?” she fumed and pushed the box away.

“Soph look” Jiyong showed her a tape recorder taped to the inside of the box. The tape recorder had a post-it note on it and written there unmistakably Seunghyun’s writing “Play me”

Sophie took the recorder and pressed play. The voice on the tape was deep. The one voice that she longed to hear calling her name comforting her and they were certain it was Seunghyun’s voice.

“Hey baby, Happy Birthday! I miss you so much. I’m sorry I can’t be there with you to celebrate but it’s not every day my bunny rabbit turns 24 right? Err, yeah I know this may seem creepy but I have a brilliant plan. Maknae shut up!” Seungri was about to refute as his mouth hung opened flabbergasted hearing his hyung. They all smiled at how their hyung knew so well that maknae was the one who was going to speak.

“So I’m sure you have not gone through my things cause I know too well my bunny rabbit has been dwelling in her emotions. Stop watching those crappy dramas of yours. And please stop crying. How are Daehyun and Hae-Won? Baby don’t be too naughty for mommy arasso” He said in a cute voice which made Sophie smile and shed tears. He did know her too well.

“When you go through my things I will explain to you everything but right now. It’s your birthday baby. Go out have fun! Maknae, come up with a plan. Daesung and Jiyong, take my girl out to buy some fancy dress. Make sure that dress is pretty and embracing her baby bump. Oh God I love that bump of yours honey. And Youngbae you stay here with me..Hahaha..kidding, you look after maknae just in case he goes overboard. My wife is pregnant, you monkeys better behave! No wild nights!” They all laughed at what their hyung said.

“Now Go Go Go have fun. Happy Birthday. Bye I love you” and the tape stopped playing.

“Forever and always” Sophie replied staring at the tape recorder caressing her bundle of joy. They all sat silently in shock after listening to the recording.

“Well, what are we waiting for, you heard hyung!” maknae said as he stood up excitedly. He then mumbled “Aish that creepy hyung even haunt us in his afterlife” Only to be smacked in the head by Youngbae.

Tada!! another one! I hope i'm not spoiling you guys..so did u guys cry at his funeral? cause i did..yeah i'm attached to my characters that much..so dont forget to tell me your thoughts!! thank u!!!