I don't know so much about Jin Soo even if I have been working with him for ages.

I have laid the guns on the table in front of me. Jin Soo always do that and clean them when we return together from a mission. It might be his way to relax him.

That guns I have disposed are the link between what I am supposed to do and who I want to be. Each one has its story. With this one, I threatened kids who didn't want to become soldiers four years ago. This one on the right, I used it to shoot on an old woman who hid his son. I didn't know the reason why I had to threaten her and then shoot. All I had to know was I had to fulfil my mission. I don't belong to me.

That cruel reality takes me deeply closed in my worries. Besides, that gloomy atmosphere of that boat, in which I am used to train myself isn't the best to get back the smile.

The noise of the shower stops. Jin Soo might have finished and he will be in that room soon. Then, Jin Soo entered shirtless, with only a towel on his hips and wet hair. He looks nowhere and I am taken aback noticing that I have been staring at him.

"Hmm" I cough discreetly but he might have heard.

"What is the matter?" he asks bending his head on the side, setting his hair with his hand. I need to change the subject in order to hide my discomfort.

"I’ve almost finished cleaning the guns. I will go then."

"As you want," he says. I set them on the box. I feel Jin Soo walk and he begins to help me. His presence bothers me and I can't help to overreact:

"They are yours after all! If you want to finish my job, I don't stop you." I reply crossing my arms.

I don't want to see his face because I always hate him. Moreover, I don't like his calm he tends to have sometimes. That Jin Soo is more different than the soldier he was and who made me as I am today.

"You are not left yet?" he asks.

It can't be. It is a trick again, words to hurt Soo Hyeon and I, that's all. When my eyes stare again on Jin Soo, I notice that he has put a shirt and gets a trouser. He is handsome by the way. What a pity he is the devil.

He swipes his hair with his towel and stops. He raises his eyes on me. I am caught. I turn my regard as soon as I notice it is inappropriate. If I want to help Soo Hyeon, I shouldn’t annoy the man who is my superior and with whom I work. I hear him pull a chair and sit.

"Rapport. How is the situation with the agent Kim Eun Hee's daughter?" he asks, more as a whisper than an audible and imperious order.

"That…"

I sigh. I fail each day after each day, going deeply in the lies and breaking the rule which made me an agent. I try, really I try although this mission is something I can't deal with.

The heavy atmosphere on this boat and the presence of Jin Soo with whom I have shared these four latest years… I feel tired, exhausted. I have a weight on my chest and for a long time, I know I am on the point to break my armour.

"I … I will continue the plan," I whisper. Don’t be worry"

"You will?" he chuckles.

"Yes. Besides she knows too much about me actually so."

The words are dying in my throat, I wonder even if he can hear them. What happens with me? My chest rises with each breath. Seung Hee, don't. You are strong, don't fall now.

"How will you end your duty?" he adds cautiously.

"I will end it. I will." I claim, trying to gain some strength.

"That is why relationship is forbidden in our job. I have warned you." He blames me. "Are you really able to continue?"

I have this knot in my throat that prevents me to answer, so