ELEVEN

To say that she was surprised seeing him that night was an understatement. After they parted that afternoon, she couldn’t stop thinking about him and the game he was trying to play. Then again, she was having doubts that all this guy wanted was to play. She couldn’t deny the feeling and, most especially, ignore its presence but she couldn’t help but doubt. 

Yonghwa always seems to come on too strong whenever he approach her but then he would turn into this gentle-looking puppy with just one sharp look from her. This makes her take a step back and regret being y and lighten up a little almost right away. He has that effect on her. Watching him from across the room, Seohyun sighed wondering how long she could keep her resolve. He walked back with a glass of margarita pushed in front of her and she whispered her thanks with a small smile.

They started with a small talk but Seohyun had been nervous the moment she saw him that night. After their heated photo session earlier, all she could think of was how long she could avoid talking about the ‘this’ and ‘us’ he has been insisting on. For a long time, she has kept her emotions in check. Seohyun managed to detach herself from the matters of the heart. For so long, she managed to keep men out and her heart free of any hurt.

Her heart was pounding in her chest, she knew she had to escape this one too—especially this one. She wet her lips and started, “Uhm—”

 “Look—”

Yonghwa said at the same time that she found herself laughing nervously and all she could do was to nod and pucker her lips for him to continue.

“Look, I’m sorry again for what happened this afternoon.”

“It’s fine,” she absentmindedly ran a hand along the loose strands from her ponytail and shook her head with a tiny smile, “I’m fine now and thanks for apologizing.”

“I was an .”

She wrinkled her forehead repressing a chuckle and mumbled trying to sound sarcastic, “Aren’t you always?”

“Not always,” Yonghwa retorted playfully pouting but sighed then smiled sheepishly, “But then again, I always seem to mess up around you. I’m sorry.”

That smile again— he should really stop giving her that. Seohyun ignored the tiny jerk in her chest and rested her arms on the table, “Stop saying sorry already, it’s losing its relevance.”

“But I think I deserve an apology too…”

“What?” She asked dryly crossing her arms on her chest with that smug grin he suddenly put on, “Why would I apologize to you?”

“You called me idiot, remember?”

He said seriously that she could no longer hold in her laughter. Seohyun waved a hand on her face, “Oh, believe me, if I did apologize for that it won’t be sincere.”

“At least you’re laughing at my lame jokes again.”

Seohyun sighed. That would be pretty true. She was just amazed at how easy he could do that—make her laugh or even smile like that.  Somehow, she had developed this push-and-pull feeling for this guy. She uneasily lifted her glass and took a larger sip ignoring the sweet burn it created inside . She should really start making an excuse to get away.

“You are not very comfortable in places like this.”

Yonghwa commented as she lifted her gaze back at him. “That’s not a question?” She countered.

“Yeah, you give off that feel.”

“Hmmm… ironic but, yeah, crowd is not really my thing but I’m used to it.”

He leaned closer to his table and studied her carefully, “You hate being here. You’d rather be home and asleep than be all dressed up and smile that smile that you know for sure would hurt your jaw a few hours from now.”

Seohyun laughed softly then narrowed her gaze at that assumption, “That’s based from experience.”

“That’s not a question?” Yonghwa retaliated and she chuckled. Shaking his head with a grin, he continued rather seriously, “Yeah, it’s based from experience. Sometimes I just want the crowd to disappear— don’t get me wrong, I love performing. I love when people come to see us play. I love it. But sometimes I just want to be on my own.”

“I’m better than you then?”

“I think you are. You still have your private life intact.”

Seohyun fell quiet after that but her eyes never left him. That was one of the reasons why she should be making that excuse and start walking away—not just in this bar but from him. Walk away like she always does because she knows where it would end. She shoved away the feeling and continued softly, “So I don’t want to get entangled with someone who basically has no privacy.”

Yonghwa groaned out loud, “But there’s fun to getting entangled with someone who basically has no privacy, you know?”

“Really?” With one brow lifting, Seohyun puckered her lips waiting for him to continue.

“Yeah, the thrill.”

She laughed, “I’m not looking for thrill.”

“What are you looking for then?” Yonghwa gave her a skeptical grin as if he didn’t believe her.

She held his gaze and sighed, “I don’t know. I’m probably not looking for anything at this point.”

“Have you dated anyone famous?”

“A few?”

“A few?” Yonghwa smiled leaning forward, “Wow…”

Seohyun shook her head while taking another little sip then waved a hand as she put her glass back, “Not boasting.”

“I didn’t say that,” he laughed, “Who were they?”

Seohyun furrowed her brow, “Why do you want to know?” They always end up doing this—throwing trick questions and covert statements. Admittedly, she found it exciting every time it happens especially this time that he seemed to take time to gather his thoughts.

Finally, he asked nonchalantly, “You don’t want to tell me?” Her shoulder lifted into a tiny shrug so he asked again, “You didn’t feel the thrill with them?”

“Usually, they would take me to a secluded café or private room in a restaurant.” Seohyun said wistfully then sighed, “That wasn’t thrilling, more like boring.”

Yonghwa laughed softly but his eyes, “So it’s safe to assume, you never felt any deeper feeling or connection to those you dated.”

“Most probably, why did you ask?” A wave of cold air slid through her clothes when she noticed how his gaze fixed lazily on her chest before climbing back up to her eyes. She swallowed the chill putting her thoughts back on track.

“Because you didn’t feel the thrill?”

 “If there was the thrill that could mean I’m in love?”

“Most probably.” Yonghwa copied her tone taking the glass on his hand but looking straight at her. “The risk—you will only be willing to take the risk for that person who can make you feel the thrill or none of it would even matter.”