*** Note: Hi Guys, First and foremost I am sorry I was only able to update now. I mentioned in the previous chapter that I will be gone for a week but I still received some follow ups last week so I guess I wasn't clear enough. You know that I try to write whenever I get some free time and even try to squeeze it in my sched as much as I can. So whenever I update, please know that it's the fastest I could under my circumstances. I love writing so I do it often when I still have energy and I am free off my daily 'To Do list'. Lately, I am very busy that is why I can't tell you when I could update and when not. I still ask for your patience every one. Thank you.

Chapter 21

01:02PM, Gwangju

Sulli and Heechul went to eat at the school canteen.

“I’m sorry, because of my husband we are only to eat lunch now.” Said Sulli.

“It’s ok.” Said Heechul. “I can’t believe he allowed you to go with me.”

“Why will it surprise you? He knows we were pretty close back then.” asked Sulli.

“He seemed to be jealous earlier.” Said Heechul. “He was being overly sweet with you and intentionally being hard to please.”

Minho was being too obvious.

Sulli smiled.

“I think his jealous side is cute.” said Sulli.

“Is there nothing about him that pisses you off? You seem to see him as perfect.” Said Heechul.

“Hmm… I don’t know. He’s a really cool. He has a lot of wisdom when I talk to him.” Said Sulli. “He makes me a better person.”

“He’s lucky to have you.” Said Heechul.

“I’m lucky to have him.” corrected Sulli.

Heechul sighed.

“When did you get married?” asked Heechul

“A few weeks ago. It’s very recent. We did not invite people. We only got a short church ceremony and then registered the papers.” Said Sulli.

“He looks rich. Why won’t he give you a proper wedding?” asked Heechul.

Hmm… it’s a valid question.

“There were some situations in Seoul where we had to register the wedding as soon as possible.” Said Sulli. “There was no time to prepare a celebration.”

“No matter what happens, a woman like you deserves a beautiful wedding.” Said Heechul.

Sulli supressed a smile. She’s reminded of why it was so easy to like Heechul when she was younger.

“I am not the ambitious type.” Said Sulli. “I loved the intimate wedding. My mom was there. That was enough for me.”

“That’s what’s so nice about you, Sulli. You’re simple. Simplicity is what sets you apart from others.” Said Heechul.

Sulli just smiled.

“Is your wife also simple?” asked Sulli.

Heechul took a moment to answer.

“It’s ex-wife now. We… got a divorce late last year.” Said Heechul.

“Oh… really? I didn’t know, I’m sorry.” said Sulli.

Heechul shook his head.

“No, don’t worry about it.” Said Heechul. “It’s for the best. The marriage was not going anywhere.”

“I am sad to hear that… Puff is a nice girl.” Said Sulli.

“Regardless of what happened in the past?” asked Heechul.

Sulli nodded.

“The only problem I had with Puff was that she was so in love with you.” Said Sulli. “If we weren’t caught in a love triangle, I think she would be a good friend, not that I was interested in making friends back then.”

“Four years ago…everything was crazy, huh?” said Heechul.

Sulli nodded.

Heechul reached for Sulli’s hand.

“What happened to us Sulli? Why did we have to fall apart?” asked Heechul. “I still ask that question until now.”

And there is goes. It was effortless, Sulli didn’t need to think of a way to bring it up. Heechul was the one who opened the topic that Sulli wanted to close.

“Oppa.” Said Sulli. “Why did you suddenly disappear a few days before I gave you my decision?”

Heechul closed his eyes for a few seconds.

“I… was trapped. Puff’s Dad invited me for dinner regarding a possible job offer after college. I went there only to find out that needed to take me to Seoul for a few days.” Said Heechul.

“So you went there for the job offer?” asked Sulli.

“I told them I need to go back by Sunday. Puff’s Dad said I would be able to come back. But in Seoul, a manager offered to take me to Japan for me to see how the work is done. Puff’s Dad prepared everything. I was trapped. There were men around me, I can’t take a step without anyone blocking my way.” Said Heechul. “Days turn into months. And before I know it, the company already asked me to stay in Seoul to work for them.”

Sulli nodded. So that’s what happened. All this time, she thought this man has discarded her after making her like him.

“I tried several times to come back but they were guarding my every step. Sulli… I was trying to see you and explain everything.” Said Heechul

“When you suddenly disappeared, I heard you and Puff went to Seoul together. That much was real I guess.” Said Sulli. “But I also heard you got Puff pregnant.”

Heechul sighed and pulled his hand away.

“I need to be really honest with you Sulli. Puff she… got pregnant. That is true.” Said Heechul.

So those weren’t rumours.

“I got drunk one night when I couldn’t make a way to go back to you… Puff she… the next thing I know, something happened to us and then she has become pregnant.” Said Heechul. “I didn’t know what to do, Sulli. I did not intend to have anything to do with Puff at that time. I just saw her as a friend.”

“What happened to the baby?” asked Sulli.

“The child…” said Heechul. “We lost the baby even before he got born. Puff had complications during pregnancy. The baby died inside her womb. We had to force him out.”

That’s tragic. Sulli could feel the pain for Heechul and Puff. The reason why they had to stay together and be apart form the person they like disappeared before them.

“Did you really love me?” asked Sulli.

“Of course Sulli! Until now, I have never stopped loving you. And that is why Puff and I never worked out.” Said Heechul.

Though Sulli had liked Heechul, she had doubts whether his feelings were real. He seemed to be sincere all the while. But when she learned he’s Ji Young’s cousin, she started to doubt his intentions.

“I only learned about you being Ji Young’s cousin after you left.” Said Sulli. “Is it true you only approached me in the first place to help Ji Young and I be reconciled?”

Heechul bit his lip. Heechul  took a deep breath and nodded.

“That was only at first Sulli. Ji Young and I were close. She wanted to ask for your forgiveness but couldn’t get a chance. I told her I’ll make that chance possible. Later on, as I got to know you… I started liking you. And then slowly, I fell in love with you. All of my feelings for you were real Sulli.” Said Heechul. “I never should’ve wanted a job from Puff’s family.”

Sulli sighed. Even Ji Young said she saw it clearly from afar how Heechul really loved her in the past.

“Back then, your family was in need. You were trying to find a way to help them. So I am not blaming you.” Said Sulli. “Puff was blinded by her love for you and her Dad seemed to find you a good catch.”

“They took you away from me.” Said Heechul.

Sulli could see some tears forming on Heechul’s eyes. His eyes were turning red as he seemed to be fighting the urge to cry. Sulli’s heart sank. But what can she do? Should she comfort him? Whill that be the right thing to do?

“Oppa… I guess those things happen because we aren’t meant for each other.” Said Sulli. “I am happily married now.”

No, the right thing to do is to be honest. No healing can happen with sugar-coated words.

“But I’m miserably still in love with you Sulli.” Said Heechul. “I… have just been waiting for the right opportunity to approach you after my divorce was settled.”

Sulli touched Heechul’s hand.

“Oppa… Remember that Sunday were supposed to meet? That was the day I was supposed to tell you my decision whether I would like to be your girlfriend or not.  You weren’t able to come because of Puff’s Dad. However, if you did not leave that day, we will still not end up together.” Said Sulli.

“What… do you mean?” asked Heechul.

“That Sunday… The decision I was going to give you was… that I can’t be your girlfriend.” Said Sulli.

Heechul looked stunned. He looked like he turned into stone. It’s obvious that he did not expect this response considering that Sulli told him even before how she liked him too.

“You… were not going to say Yes?” asked Heechul.

Sulli nodded.

“The truth is, I really liked you very much. You were a very kind and intelligent sunbae. You are such a wonderful person and I loved going out with you, you made me smile.” Said Sulli. “But… during those days that you were gone… My mom started to get sick. And she started to get really lonely. I blamed my Dad for what happened to my Mom. I… didn’t want to end up like her so I was going to say No to you.”

Heechul’s brows furrowed.

“Later on I learned about you and Puff and I thought my decision was right. I felt really betrayed that you did not show up to hear my decision and that you would get someone else pregnant when you just said that you loved me. I know that was unfair of me. I see that now. I heard you two got married so I treated whatever was between us, over. And then I met my husband.” Said Sulli. “When I met him, he slowly melted my fears away. He made me feel like I had a fighting chance in life. And fate also helped, it was then that I learned that my parents really loved each other. My Dad did not cause my Mom misery. It was part of loving each other that they had to go through those miseries. My husband came at the right time in my life. He came when my heart was ready to take a risk of falling in love.”

Heechul closed his eyes.

“You said you can’t believe he allowed me to go with you.” Said Sulli.

“I guess he doesn’t know about our past.” Said Heechul. “He doesn’t know what really went on between us.”

“He knows it. I told him everything. But because I asked him to trust me, because I told him this conversation is important to me, he allowed me to go with you, to finally have a good closure with you.” Said Sulli.

“Did you not love me?” asked Heechul. “Even for just a bit, Sulli? Is there nothing left?”

“I don’t know. I liked you… but I was never sure if I was in love with you. Until now, I still don’t know.” Said Sulli.

“And now?” asked Heechul. “What do you feel for me?”

“You are a special friend to me Oppa… but not in a romantic way anymore. Right now, My heart only beats for my husband.” Said Sulli.

 Heechul sighed as he wiped his burning eyes.

“Life .” Said Heechul. “It big time. Just when I’m ready to fight for you, you already belong to someone else. The past years I’ve been striving to make a way to come back to you and make everything clean for you. And yet when I finally achieved what I wanted to, the person I was trying to fight for has already found someone else.”

Sulli felt so bad and hurt for Heechul. This man had always cheered her on during college and helped her in a lot of ways. He showed her affection and made her feel beautiful despite what other people say.

“Blame me for it, Oppa.” Said Sulli. “You can blame me for everything. I will not take it against you.”

Sulli squeezed Heechul’s hand.

“When I think of all the memories I had with you, I always feel thankful that you came into my life.” Said Sulli. “I always wanted to thank you for making me survive all those years. If you did not come into my life then, I would have given up on life and threw it away. But because you were there, I found strength to carry on. That is why, though I can’t love you the same way anymore, I still want to thank you for everything. I will always remember those memories and I will always be grateful to you, Oppa.”

Heechul’s tears flown one after another. He covered his face wi