Ryeowook’s POV

“Wookie hyung!!!”

The little energy ball runs straight into my legs and hugs my legs as tight as he could, squishing his chubby cheeks. I don’t want to hug him back. Trust me, I don’t. It’s not that I don’t love Henry but… It’s the opposite really.

I love him too much.

Still hugging my legs, Henry beams up at me with sparkling bright eyes. I want so much to hug him and kiss him but… I can’t. I tell myself that I can’t do it.

“Umm… Hey.” I say awkwardly.

“Hyung! Where did you go!? Did you buy me presents?! Hyungie, we wanted to watch spiderman so we waited for you! Let’s go watch spiderman now!!”

Henry jumps excitedly, his arms still tight around my legs. I try to pry his fingers off me but he doesn’t want to let go. He looks at me with so much seriousness in his face all of a sudden and rests his head against my legs.

“Where did you go, hyung?” This time, Henry whispers quietly. “I missed you.”

My heart drops. I refuse to say anything; instead I just look into his eyes, staring blankly and coldly. Kyuhyun notices this and he pulls Henry away from me. He kneels down and looks from me and then back to Henry.

“Baby, stay here for awhile alright? I’m going in to talk to Changmin hyung and then we’ll go home, alright?” Kyuhyun asks.

“Okay!” Henry then looks behind to me. “Is Wookie hyung coming home with us?”

Kyuhyun eyes me and then clears his throat. “Yes, yes he is.”

Kyuhyun ruffles his hair and looks up to Yunho. “Let’s go, hyung.”

Kyuhyun and Yunho walks back into the hotel, leaving Henry and I alone in the garden. Earlier on, Kyuhyun mentioned that he asked Yunho to help look after Henry when he wanted to try to find me. And I’m glad he did. Yesung could have hurt me if Kyuhyun wasn’t there. Henry suddenly tugs on my shirt but he hesitates to speak.

“Hyung, are you mad at me?” Henry asks timidly. “Who won’t you hug or kiss me, hyungie?”

I don’t say anything. I just shake my head. Henry’s face drops a little but he gets distracted when a blue butterflies passes by him. His eyes widen and he follows the butterflies and he breaks into a grin.

“It’s so pretty!” Henry shouts. “Hi there blue butteryfly!”

Henry starts chasing the butterfly around the garden but I just stay in my spot. I am going to miss this. Henry’s innocence and pureness makes the whole world beautiful. Hs bright smile lightens the whole garden and his giggles will always be stuck in my head. Always. He is the kid I’ve always wanted.

Yesung and I have talked about adopting about a million times. I grew up loving children and I’ve always loved children. But… The more Yesung and I talked about adopting, the more Yesung comes home and abuses me every night. It got to a point where I eventually got scared of children, hated them even and in the end, I eventually didn’t want to have children or even be with them anymore.

But Henry changed everything.

Henry is my dream son. Yesung have always wanted a girl but I always wanted a boy. Girls are cute, I admit but boys… Well, boys are cuter. And Henry is proof. But… Yesung is right when he says that I cannot do anything on my own. How do I expect to look after a baby when I cannot even depend on myself? I am useless and Henry doesn’t deserve that. Henry deserves his mother or least, someone like his mother. I don’t think I am anywhere near his mother and plus… I love Henry and I don’t want him to have to grow up confused as to why he has two fathers. It’s only Kindergarten but his friends are already teasing him about me. What will happen in elementary school? In high school? I cannot bear to see my dear Henry getting bullied because of me.

I’m glad that Kyuhyun stepped up for me earlier on. I kind of… I kind of thought that he’d believe Yesung. I was even prepared for it. I was prepared for Kyuhyun to leave me when Yesung said that I wasn’t worth it. It is the truth anyway. But… Kyuhyun stood up for me. He protected me. In a split second, I thought that Kyuhyun really did have feelings for me. But… Yesung’s words keeps repeating in my head. I cannot make it stop or go away.

Because it’s true. 

At this point, it doesn’t matter if Kyuhyun have feelings for me, it doesn’t matter if Henry wants me in his life forever. The fact that I keep going into people’s life and ruining it is enough for me to realize that I don’t deserve to be with anyone and no one deserves the bad luck I bring. Kyuhyun and Henry… I care for them a lot and I dare even say that I love them. And I don’t want to continue living this cursed life with me. They are just better off without me.

“Hyung! Look at me! I’m flying with the butteryfly!”

Henry’s gigging. Henry’s giggles rings in my ears and I wish I can replace them with Yesung’s voice. Henry’s giggl