I'ts March 30th and I haven't seen Shin very much after out whole "talk".

I'm still having trouble sleeping but I feel like I've been feeling a bit better. I keep getting reminded of all the things I've put Shin through, maybe if I wasn't so clingy I wouldn't be in this type of emotional state. I know he's coming back in 2 years but it'll feel like forever. I look at the news and find out it's nice enough to walk around outside, I knew that any day is nice enough to walk outside but I only wait till the weather's warmed up. 

"guess I should take a walk" 

I wrap a jacket around my waist, grab my headphones, and bring my backpack with my art supplies in it. All set to go and all I need now is my keys and I'm off, I slip on my shoes and head out the door locking it on the way out.

"It is pretty warm out"

I turn my mp3 player on and start strolling at a nice pace. (" I haven't been able to take a walk this relaxing in a while") I let my mind wander as well as my feet, I decide not to think about where to walk to and just let my body do what it wants as I clear my head. 

After about an hour of walking I decide to stop and see where I ended up and I ended up to the birthplace of my emotional turmoil (" Insomnia cookies....we meet again") I walk in and stand firmly at the counter and order a couple of warm cookies and a smoothie (" something different won't hurt") I set my food at the usual spot in front of the window and brought out my sketch book and mechanical pencil. I gaze out the window and look up into the sky only to see a few spread out small clouds and one gigantic cloud that almost looks like an island, It had a variety of colors from blue to purple. I start sketching the sky with some of the buildings roofs at the bottom.

I realize that my mp3 player might be to loud considering people that come in and out, me being an introvert I usually wouldn't go out like this but I feel like I needed to. I stop sketching and watch the clouds pass by slowly as I take a deep breath in and let it out. (" I don't remember the last time I was this relaxed, why was I so worked up?...oh Shin ") as soon as I the thought of Shin came in my head my chest began to feel tight and my head felt heavy, I had to put my head down as it was suffocating me. It felt like a wave just crashing into me repeatedly with unknown emotions. I still couldn't recognize this emotion, there was so many things running through my mind that I couldn't focus on just one. I knew this was getting out of hand and that I needed to figure out what I'm feeling and quick. I began to sort out the thoughts and things started to get clearer. I've always had trouble making friends and now that I actually had one he's leaving. I start to calm down as I lift my head up slowly trying not to bring back the heaviness. I take off my headphones and wipe my mouth and felt something wet on my cheeks (" are these tears? ") I had no idea I was crying, I rub my eyes trying to see a bit clearer when I notice a blurry figure in the window. I can finally see clear when I finally see who was on the other side of the window.

(" Shindong? ")