I had a dream about you last night, we were at a open grassy feild sitting on a sky blue blanket just looking off in the distance. 

What are you're dreams?

That's a random question.

I laugh as I look over at shin, he seems to be fixated on the sky as the sun light shines on his face making his eyes look like a carmel golden brown. I scoot over towards shin as he's distracted. I see his hand comfortably on the blanket, I slowly try to inch my hand towards his trying not to make him notice. I raise my hand over his hand and begin to lower it when shin looks at me as I freeze not moving an inch. Shin smiles at me and grabs my hand and pulls me up making me run with him in the feild. As we run all I can see is his broad back, the back of his head and his hair flowing in the wind and his hand still grabbing mine. After a few more seconds of running we come to a stop in front of what looks like a ocean but it looked different from a normal ocean, it was clear and I could see everything at the bottom. At that moment I wake up. it's been a few days sense our talk and I havent slept in my bed, only on the couch. There's been alot on my mind and I don't know what that dream meant but I can't seem to get shin leaving out of my head I mean not seeing him for 2 years. I did say we would make the best of it but it's easier said than done honestly. 

Maybe I should text him...

I grab my phone off the floor and turn it on, Ive kept it off so I could be truly alone. I get a couple texts from my brother, mom and shin. I open the ones from shin and he's asking if im ok and I don't really know how to respond. I could lie and say "yea im fine" but as soon as he seems me he'll know, I was never good with hiding my feelings and it's one of the things I hate about myself. I text shindong back asking if he wants to hang at the usual place. 

"insomnia cookies today?"

"can't today, let's try for tomorrow"

"ok no prob, text me later when your free"

(well I guess no plans today...) I set my phone back on the floor and turn to cartoonnetwork hoping adventure time is on. I can't stop thinking of the end of the month and how it's coming in closer and faster. Im extremly sad but I can't cry I cant do anything about these feelings. I guess I just have to wait till the time actually comes.