Chapter 6: Missing You

I felt my face turn red in fury just hearing the word boyfriend coming out from anyone's mouth especially if the name Kim "" Jaejoong is linked to it.

"I don't know what you are talking about." I'm back to my stoic self even if my dearest oppa is here within the vicinity.

"Awww. Don't be like that darling, I know you know perfectly what I am talking about." he timidly smiled.

I know that kind of smile. It is the get-along-with-me-or-else kind of look. If I am not going to ride along, what can he do? He can't make me fake my emotions and feelings especially if it is a very strong feeling, like hate towards this nincompoop with a huge smile plastered on his damn face.

"No I don't. I'd bttere get going. Class will start soon." I hugged oppa as soon as I finished giving Mr. Kim my deadliest glare. I hope it will erase that irritating smile of his. But when I looked back at him, he was even smiling brightly.

"I didn't know that you want to show me your glare cutely." What the f***?!

"Excuse you? I am not acting cutesy or anything similar to that bastard." I said through gritted teeth.

"Owkaaaay! Hold your horses!" Oppa came in between us and eyed  us two. "You two, get along. You should be friends to start with because you two are in a relationship." he pointed each one of us with furrowed brows.

"I'm not the one who asked for this set-up. He should better bear with my rudeness. Now if you excuse my rudeness I would like to go to my class."

I left them without waiting for their reply. I was itchy to get away fast so I was like running and walking at the same time. I could still my face heating up because of fury! I really hate him and their influence. 

"Hey wait up!"

I knew whose voice it is coming from without even looking back. How would you not know and recognize the voice you hated, wait..loathed the most? I was moving briskly so that he will not be able to catch up with me.

Just then a strong hand caught my left arm and halted me in my tracks. When I looked back, he was clutching his heart with his right hand while his left is still holding my arm. He was panting heavily.

"Wow woman! I didn't know that you could be that fast!" He said while still catching for his breathe.

I removed his hand that is still holding my arm. "Are you done with your witty remarks Mister?" I glanced at my watch. "Time's ticking. So if you excuse me."

I hurriedly get away from that foul looking as soon as I can. Damn it! He'll be the death of me and the cause for my tardiness. 

When I arrived in my next class, thankfully I was not late. The professor came in a minute or so after I arrived. I positioned myself back to the corner where I am usually occupying. 

I slumped myself in the bed. I am pretty much exhausted for the activities I had for this day. I had a lot of quizzes today to which some are pop up quiz! Screw those professors that is the cause for students’ mental breakdown. I turned sideways and inwardly groaned as I remembered the little encounter with Mr. Arrogant. How I wish he would get deported, thrown out and banned for the rest of his lifetime in Korea. That would be one less jerk here in Korea and an additional to whichever country he would like to spread his arrogance. I shook away the bad thoughts that is running in my head. I should stop thinking about that dimwitted nincompoop or else I will go crazy! I closed my eyes and before I knew it, I dose off to sleep.

Dara-yah!~ Dara-yah!~ Answer me now! Ppali juseyo!~

I was abruptly awaken from the ringtone coming from my phone. Flashbacks of yesterday is rushing over my head. That manly voice; the voice that I have not heard for a very long time. When was the last time my phone rang with that ringtone? He is the only exception. He requested it to have my ringtone for him customized by his voice so that whenever I will hear it, I will be reminded of him and only him, no questions asked.

I took my phone and gazed at it. 똥물개 (Ttongmulgae).

My heart skipped a beat when I read the name of the caller from the other line. Donghae? I thought.

Why on earth his number will be calling mine? Is this some kind of a prank?

I don't know what came in to my head that I accepted the call.

With trembling hands together with the fast beat of my heart, I placed my phone near my ear.

"Yo-yoboseyo?" I stuttered.

There's no reply from the other line.

I held my phone closely to my ear and a few minutes passed, a voice spoke from the other line.

"Oh! Noona!"

I sighed. It's just Seungri. But why is he using his brother's number when he had given me his number when we met days ago.

"Oh. It's just you Riri. I thought..."

He sighed. "I am sorry noona. The cat must have pressed your number when it stepped on hyung's phone."

I breathe in and closed my eyes. No tears. No you should be held back to where you belong. No more tears to be stream down my face.

"It's okay Riri."

"Oh okay noona. I got to go. Bye!"

"Bye." then the other line went dead.

I fought back the tears that are trying to come out from my eyes. I did not know that after all these years I would still get affected by the mere thought of Donghae. Yes, Lee Donghae, brother of Lee Seungri is my childhood friend, best friend, my protector, my comforter, my first boyfiend...My First Love.

I broke in to a sob. It seems like my own tears will not listen to me and they just keep on taking turns in running down in my face. I cried and I cried harder. I poured out all of the sadness, of the hatred for myself, of this messed up life, and of the years that he is not with me.

I should be punished. I should get all the blame for everything that happened to him. I need to take full responsibility of everything and that I don't deserve happiness. No one deserves me. No one should be taking care of me since the day I lost him. I should not open my heart anymore, no, I deserve to be lonely.

I hated the fact that amidst everything, I was the one being comforted. I am the one they are trying to understand. I am the reason why my friends did their best in adjusting to the changes I did for myself. No one blamed me and I hated everyone for not doing so!

I am the one! I am the one why a lot of people lost him. His family lost him, his friends lost him because of me!

If only he did not do it. If only I did not asked him to do it for me. He should still be here, with me, with us. If only I was not stubborn, he could still be here. If only I did not become the demanding that I was, he could still be here. If only I did not abused his kindness to me, he could still be here. If that accident to which he was in did not happen, he could still be here.

The playful, loyal, energetic and smart Donghae, the one that I love so much would still be here if it was not because of me.

I cried for who knows until when. I curled myself in my bed and hugged my pillow. My gaze landed in the turned down picture frame in the bedside table at my left side. I took it and more tears streamed down in my face as I saw me and Donghae in the picture. We looked so happy back then. He was hugging me while lovingly staring at me and I was hugging him back but I was looking at the camera and smiling with my teeth showing. It was taken in our first year together as a couple, four years ago.

I wiped away my tears as a new batch is threatening to come out again. I placed the picture frame near my heart and  I smiled a sad smile. I miss him so much. If only I could turn back time, I'd come back to the time where happy memories with him are happening.

Howdy ya guys!?~~ ^_____^ Just a short update, an insight perhaps to what had happened in Dara's past. And hey! I just want to thank these lovely people for subscribing. You made me happy you know? *sobs*

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