Chapter 10:

"Darling why did you lied to me?

Your intentions I could not see.

You broke my heart in pieces so tiny.

Now explain to me with all honesty."

“Dara! Dara!”

I ignored Donghae’s call and continued running…running to I do not know where. People I passed by were looking at me with questioning stares but I brushed those off. For now, I have to concentrate getting away from Donghae.

I can feel my knees weakening from exhaustion. I have been running for quite some time already and my tears are not helping. These are slowing me down.

I am already outside the school and heading towards the streets. My vision is getting blurry as these stupid tears are clouding my eyes. I wiped the tears away and continued running until I was able to reach the river.

Boy! I did not know I could run from the university until here.

I sat at one of the benches there. Lowering my head, I gasped for air as soon as I was settled. The running exhausted the wits out of me. I looked around and saw that Donghae was not able to catch me. That’s odd since he was a fast runner. Or maybe he has no intentions of running after me. After all, he had been running AWAY from me all these years. Why in the world would he choose to come running after me?

I sighed. These traitorous fluid they call tears are trying to get out of my eyes. I heaved a deep breathe and looked up to prevent my tears from falling. I can’t cry anymore. I should be done with him and all these lies he has been feeding me.

I felt so stupid. I have wasted three years of my life mourning for someone who was not dead all these time! For what intentions he has, I do not care anymore. I am through with him. I should be.

But it seems like my heart is not cooperating with my head. I burst in to tears. My heart is aching terribly. Like there is an inner force responsible for constricting it so badly. All the pain is coming back and it hurts so much that I just want to explode.

I want this pain to go away so badly. I want to cry my heart out because if I will not be able to do so, I might go crazy. This is just so unbearable. The pain is too much to handle.

I honestly do not know why I am crying right now. I should be happy because he is here alive, right? I should be happy because I will be having a chance of being with him. That moment when I saw him flesh to flesh, I should have kissed him, hugged him with all my might, just like how I imagined it to be years ago. I should have welcomed him whole heartedly because after all, the thought of him being alive is the greatest news, right?

But I wasn’t. I did not. I am not.

Nonetheless I felt betrayed, fooled, and lied to. I cannot find happiness when I saw him. Am I too bad to think that way? Am I too bad to think that I hated him? Am I too bad to think that I wasn’t exactly ecstatic when I saw him face to face?

I wiped the tears away but I was surprised when I saw a handkerchief offered at my front. When I looked up, a sweaty, red face Donghae came in to view. He looked at me pleadingly. I just stared at him, like I am trying to decipher who this man is standing in front of me.

“Dara…” he softly said. “Please take this.”

I fight the next batch of tears from falling down. So I took a one long breathe before looking back to his eyes. Yet it seemed like a very bad idea because as soon as my eyes landed on his, I wasn’t able to control my tears from falling.

He was still holding out the handkerchief in front of me. I glanced at it and return looking at him.

“Will that take away the pain too?” I asked, still crying.

And at that moment I saw how his eyes watered. Before I can even see droplets coming out, he bowed his head. His shoulders are going up and down and I can see how his body shake…obviously he is crying. And I do not know why he is when in fact he was the one who made this lie last long! Should I remind him for making us all a fool? Or was it just me all along?

I was taken aback when he caught my hand and he kneeled in front of me, still hanging his head down. I cannot explain this feeling that I am feeling right now. A part of me wants to hug him but a part of me wants to push him away.

He slowly looked up to me and our eyes again met.

“Dara…” he called with a groggy voice. He wiped his tears with the back of his hands. “Please…please forgive me.”

Surprisingly I was not crying anymore. I do not know how I looked at him that made him cry even more.

“Please do not look at me like that…” he pleaded.

“Donghae,” I was quite surprised with myself because I did not stutter.

He quickly looked at me with pleading eyes. I missed those brown orbs. I missed his face. I missed him so much. But things are not going back to the way it used to be.

“Please leave me alone.”

He looked at me unbelievingly. His mouth is slightly parted.

“No. Dara please….just hear me out.” He pleaded again.

I pulled my hand away from him and he was trying to catch it back.

“Donghae, please.” I held my hand in front of him, as if asking for distance. “I am not ready hearing you out for the mean time. I am still not ready to hear new set of lies.”

He immediately caught my hands and he started to cry again. “N-no… Please D-dara… I won’t lie anymore…” he said in between cries.

How can he expect me to believe him? Three years! He made me a fool in believing he is dead already! I almost killed myself for being so guilty for what happened to him. What if I was not able to survive those suicidal attempts? Then I must have died in vain because the man I loved and lost is still alive, breathing the same air as I am. That he was just hiding somewhere in the shadows of wherever. I cursed my self for being the reason of that unfortunate accident but it turns out as one of a farce show.

I stood up while pulling my hands away from him. I looked down at him while he looking up at me.

“You won’t leave? Then I will.”

I walked away, leaving Lee Donghae kneeling and crying at the place where I first cried three years ago.

A/N: Thank you for waiting!. Kamsahae!~