“Hey, wake up.” Yoona nudged Kyuhyun again, who was sprawled across her couch -sleeping.

Kyuhyun mumbled a bunch of incoherent noises under his breath before turning the other way around, his long limbs hanging awkwardly over the couch that was definitely too short for him. 

“Wake up,” She harshly commanded, kicking Kyuhyun’s bottom with the sole of her foot.

“Huh?” Kyuhyun jolted up from Yoona’s cushion that was pitifully soaked with the male’s drool. The latter reminded herself to wash that cushion soon.

“Why is it so hard for you to wake up?” She inquired, “Do I have to resort to hitting you every time just to get you to wake up?”

“Sorry,” Kyuhyun apologized and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with his knuckles, “You’re awake. How are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, are you okay?”

“Oh,” Yoona looked away and diverted his gaze when she realized what he was talking about. “I feel better now.”

“Great,” Kyuhyun smiled, deciding not to pry any further. “I made you soup in case you’re hungry.”

“So uh,” Kyuhyun started while they just lounged on Yoona’s couch. She didn’t have such privileges like television or anything -since she was already struggling with money and she’s usually out at work so it would be useless to get one- so sitting around was the only thing they could do. “I’m sorry, about earlier.”

“Oh, right.” Yoona tried to casually wave it off but Kyuhyun noticed how her arms had stiffened and how she tried to control her expression. “It’s fine. I was just being a drama queen.”

“So-“

“I’m s-“

Both of them spoke and halted their words at the same time and kept quiet for a while, waiting for the other to speak.

“Uh,-“

“So-“ Kyuhyun closed his mouth again before chuckling, “You go first.”

“No, go ahead.”

“Okay.” Kyuhyun promised himself not to pry and ask why she cried earlier but the curiosity was itching at him, he couldn’t help it. He asked warily, “I was just going to ask what happened back there at the beach. Do you have a fear of water or something? Do you have aqua phobia? Because I know someone who has that. Was that why you were so terrified?”

“It’s nothing,” Yoona replied and added, “And I wasn’t terrified.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, genuinely curious. “Because it didn’t look like nothing. It looked like it bothered you a lot. And you sure seemed like you were.”

“I said, I’m fine, just mind your own business for once.” Yoona snapped but immediately regretted it afterwards when she felt that she was too harsh on him. “I’m sorry, it’s just,” she helplessly said, “Can I trust you?”

“Of course you can,” Kyuhyun said to which Yoona nodded to and looked away. Her eyes drifted into space and her lips were set in a firm line, her eyes didn’t seem dazed or anything. In fact, they were concentrating. It was as if she was thinking deeply about something, she was probably contemplating whether she should tell Kyuhyun or not.

Minutes passed with both of them saying nothing, a deafening silence floated in the air. Well, maybe it was deafening for Kyuhyun since he could never stand such silence but Yoona didn’t seem to mind it, probably because she had something on her mind. Kyuhyun was about to say something, he was about to tell her that it was okay to not tell him anything when the silent female finally spoke, her voice distant.

“The reason I didn’t want to go to the water or to the beach and held onto you so tightly was because I was scared. I was scared of drowning. I knew someone, someone very precious to me, and that was how his life was taken. He drowned.” Yoona said, carefully choosing her words. “One day, we went to the beach. He was so excited, I was too because we hadn’t gone outside in years. It was our first time going to the beach after such a long time. We ran around as soon as we reached, we were so happy. But later on, I decided to run around the shore and he decided to go into the water.” Her voice was shaky and unstable so she quickly swallowed a gulp of saliva and continued speaking, all the while willing herself to not cry.

Kyuhyun fidgeted beside her and played with his fingers, his action showing how much uncomfortable he was with Yoona mentioning another man in his presence, especially one who was so important to her. He thought Daehyun was the only one she dated. But Yoona took no notice of how uncomfortable he seemed, her eyes were trained on the plain white wall in front of her.

“But he got carried away. I- I don’t know what happened, I think he lost his balance and tripped and the waves were strong that day which is why he wasn’t able to stand up or anything, I don’t know. I just don’t know because I wasn’t there for him. All I knew was that he drowned, and I wasn’t there to save him.” Yoona stopped, she failed. She cried. She couldn’t hold them in. Warm, full droplets of tears ran down her cheeks and fell into her lap one after another, as if they were racing.

Kyuhyun froze for a while; he didn’t know what to do. While listening to her story, he predicted this, well not really predicted but he had a hunch that she would maybe break down and cry but now that it happened, he didn’t know what to. He didn’t know how to comfort her, it wasn’t the same way he comforted her at the beach because this time was different. He wasn’t holding onto her like he did at the beach earlier and Yoona wasn’t holding onto him already. He could choose this time. Choose whether he would hold onto her and comfort her like he wanted to right now or maybe leave her alone and leave her to herself since that was what she would probably wanted.

He chose the former option because after all, where would he get another chance like this? A chance to comfort her and hold her like this. Plus, she seemed like she really needed someone to cry to.

“Shh,” he cooed. “It’s alright. You don’t have to continue your story. I’m sorry for asking. I- I was just curious. I’m such a jerk,” Kyuhyun cursed himself, for letting her relive that time and for actually disliking the man for a moment. It wasn’t right to dislike someone he didn’t know, especially someone who wasn’t there anymore and was so important to Yoona. He was supposed to want to get to know more about the man, try to figure out what he was like and thank him for taking care for Yoona when he wasn’t there and when he hadn’t met her yet, but instead his first instinct was to hate the man for knowing Yoona first and for having such an impact to her.

Kyuhyun wondered if Yoona would cry if he died. Although he knew he should think about stuff like that and solely focus on her right now, he couldn’t help but wonder if she would care if he died. Those thoughts were short-lived when Yoona’s sobs grew louder.

“Calm down. It’s okay, alright? I just –no, I –I’m really really sorry for asking just please stop crying. I’m sorry for what happened to your friend.” He tried to stop her from crying because he always panicked whenever someone cried. He never knew what to do. The first time Yuri went to him when she got hurt as a kid, the first thing he did was run away and leave her there. In the end, child Kyuhyun got scolded by his mother for leaving Yuri alone while she injured her leg. “But what do you mean by haven’t gone out in years?” he paused, “Nevermind. Forget what I asked.”

“No,” Yoona pushed Kyuhyun away and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “I want to tell you, I need to let this out.” Yoona pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on top. “I’ve held it in for so long.”

And that was when he realized that Yoona was affected by things too. Kyuhyun thought she was this strong girl -this strong girl who seemed like she was built of bulletproof glass and didn’t let anything get to her but the truth was, she was human too. She felt sadness, she felt pain, and she shed tears like every other human being did. She wasn’t built of bulletproof glass; she was just good at hiding her tears, at holding it in.  It was these things, these things that hurt her, that made her who she was today. But a person can only hold their tears in for so long before they get tired and explode. Because no matter how much you try, you’re bound to let everything out. And this was Yoona’s explosion; this was her time to let everything out of her chest.

“That- that person was my little brother. He was the sweetest person you could ever know. Although he was shy with other people, he was actually this ball full of endless supply of energy. He never failed to make me smile.” Kyuhyun looked at the frame stowed atop the table placed beside her couch and his mind flashed back to the first time he saw it, the first time they met.

So that was her brother.

“I don’t know if I mentioned it before but I’m an orphan. Which is why I’m living alone, which is why I’m working multiple jobs –to pay off my rent. When you’re at an orphanage at such a young age, you rarely get to go around anywhere. You just stay there all day and go to interviews in hopes of getting adopted but no one ever does adopt you. But one day, which was like a miracle, we were allowed to go wherever we wanted because it was my birthday and they decided that I was at a suitable age and was allowed to go where I desired. I chose to go to the beach because I heard so many things about it and was always curious about it, every time it was summer vacation, the workers would mention how they went to the beach and how they had fun.

“I went there with my brother, Jinho, and we were just so happy. I couldn’t forget the smile on his face, the summer breeze and the smell of the salty sea. But I got carried away and I ran somewhere along the shore and I didn’t know,” Yoona in air through her teeth, “Damn it, I didn’t know that he was there, drowning. When I came back, I couldn’t find him. I only had a few hours there before the people from the orphanage would come back and I couldn’t find him. I searched everywhere,” she whispered, her breaths now unorganized and ragged.

“I had to leave without him. They found his body in the water days later after the orphanage reported him missing. The water wasn’t too deep where he was found, but the police said it wasn’t rare for a child to drown in places that aren’t too deep. The lifeguard wasn’t there at the time; no one was there to save him. I was too late. It’s my fault. It’s my fault that Jinho died. It’s all because of me. I killed him.”

“It’s not your fault,” He reassured.

“It is!” Yoona screamed back. “It is! It always is! If only I didn’t leave him, if only I didn’t run that far, if only I was there, I could have prevented it. If only I told him not to go into the water, if only I didn’t request to go there, he would still be here, Kyuhyun. He would still be here.” Yoona sobbed and clutched at his shirt, her tears soaking his shirt. “After Jinho left, I couldn’t do anything anymore. I would receive these nightmares. I would dream about him calling my name while drowning, I would hear his voice. The dreams weren’t always the same. Sometimes, I would dream about happy memories,” her voice faltered. “But then, there were those dreams where I would dream of Jinho, he would sometimes look bloody, or he would just be lying somewhere…” She trailed off, her voice growing lower and lower and not completing her sentence..

“No, it isn’t your fault,” he firmly said and took her by her shoulder. Kyuhyun wiped her tears with his thumb, “It isn’t, okay? And those dreams aren’t real. Maybe it was just a traumatic experience for you which triggered those dreams. You shouldn’t blame yourself over what happened to Jinho because it’s not your fault. It never was and never will be. Things happen in life. You shouldn’t blame yourself over his death.”

Yoona nodded, although she didn’t believe a word he said because it was her fault. Kyuhyun didn’t know what he was talking about.

The latter sighed, “I know you won’t believe me right now, but trust me, you’ll realize that it isn’t your fault. Thing don’t always go your way in life.”

“When has things ever gone my way, Kyuhyun?!” She retaliated, punching the cushion beside her, the one that Kyuhyun recently drooled on. “I was abandoned since I was a kid. The only family I had left is dead, I was kicked out of the orphanage as soon as I turned legal and now I’m struggling to make a living! And on top of that, my only best friend was murdered! And the last time we talked, we weren’t on good terms. I didn’t even get to thank Daehyun for being there for me. Tell me, when has things ever gone my way? And now I just feel so pathetic. I just feel worthless. Here I am, sitting here, being a cry baby and I want to stop crying because I hate this, I hate crying. I hate showing how weak I am but I can’t. I just can’t, Kyuhyun. I can’t.”

Kyuhyun said nothing and continued hugging her while her hair. “It’s okay to cry in a while. It helps. Don’t try stopping your tears. Let them out. All your frustrations, worries, just let them out, Yoong. I won’t judge you. I want you to make the ugliest face you can and cry.” He ordered, recalling what his mother used to say to him whenever he cried as a kid.

“Thank you,” Yoona said later on after she calmed down and bit her lip, embarrassed of her actions but thankful to Kyuhyun for being such a nice and non-judgmental person, unlike everyone else in the world. “Thank you for that. I really needed it.”

 “I’ll always be here for you, Yoong.” Kyuhyun smiled, “Always.”

A/N: Was Jinho's character too obvious? Did I give too much hints? Did you guys guess who he was before I posted this chapter? if you did then you guys are pretty smart. :< Either that or I should be more subtle next time. >.< Anyways, don't hesitate to tell me if the story is getting boring for you! I'm still focusing on improve so your feedbacks -negative or positive- are appreciated. Please tell me if you have something you don't like with the way I write the story and i'll try to fix it. ^^

Have a good day! :)