THREE DAYS LATER

It was a bright sunny day and the street was buzzed with citizens of different ages, walking at different paces and joyful chatterings and Black Eyed Peas were heard filling the cheerful Sunday summer atmosphere. At the side of the street, a rather closed cornered cafe with sentimental music enlightening the ambience in it, three gentlemen were gathering. It has been a while since the three got together. But among the three, one of them seemed out of the conversation and was pulled in deep thoughts. Kim Bum was being cheerful and all giddy as usual, and knowing that Soo Hyun was not really in the mood, Hyun Joong tried to entertain that pretty boy. 

Meanwhile, Soo Hyun was in deep thinking since the moment they came to the cafe. He hasn't touched his iced americano when the two gentlemen's were half empty. Circling his fingers around the glass, his mind was elsewhere. He could not get over the incident that happened three days ago, as the pain of rejection that stabbed him in the heart have not ceased. The recollection was just too painful but irresistible; the way she pushed him away with her cold words. 

"Sonsaengnim, can you leave me alone, please? I can take care of myself."

And as if that is not enough, he dragged his stubborn self to confront her again today, only to have himself rejected again. And this time it was coupled with a warning from another man who seemed to look at him as a competitor rather than a lecturer. 

FLASHBACK

Soo Hyun was standing in front of the ward door, contemplating and hesitating whether to enter or not. He had been standing there for a couple of minutes, eavesdropping whatever that could reach his ears but there wasn't anything much; just a casual conversation between friends asking about homeworks, teenage jokes and stuffs. It seems that she was with Minho and Sulli inside the room. Her jovial chatters and cute giggles makes him crept out a smile on his face unknowingly. She was in a very exciting mood, which give all the more reason for him not to enter the room and bother them, because he knows deep inside that he's gonna ruin the atmosphere anyway and would make everything goes awkward. But something inside him was fighting over his own conscious thoughts; with his constant yearning to see her face and hear her voice... now, as if he was ready to fight his own ego, he agrees that probably he just missed her too much that he couldn't go on a day without actually seeing her and knowing that she's fine. And also probably because it hurts him that she pushed him away... the more she pushed him away, the more he wants to draw himself closer to her, which explains the reason why he was standing outside the room today and before he could even made up his mind, a familiar voice snapped him from a distance.

"Sonsaengnim, a word?" Jang Keun Suk invited him with a manly cold expression. We stood at the corner of the hallway not far from Young Hee's room. 

"Sonsaengnim, while I respect you as a lecturer, I don't appreciate what you're doing with Young Hee," Keun Suk said.

"What did I do?" Soo Hyun asked, with his hands in his pocket.

"Stop playing dumb, you know what I mean!" he snapped with an angry voice, probably mad at the fact Soo Hyun was either playing dumb or a real idiot.

"Don't you know that all of these happened because of you? Do you think you have the right to treat Young Hee like this??" he asked again.

"I..don't understand." Soo Hyun replied calmly, although deep inside he seems to have known the reason. He's just saying that because he wants clarification.

"Yah, are you stupid? Can't you see that Young Hee became like this because she was depressed? Whose fault do you think has made her be like that? It's YOUR fault, Sonsaengnim. You know she likes you and she has been looking at you for the past two years and when she finally get into your life, you messed her life and ruined everything and left her heartbroken. And now you dare to come here? For what? Are you gonna destroy her again?" He nagged, his face were red while trying to suppress the temper which is in his blood, realizing the person whom he was speaking with. Soo Hyun just stood there, looking at him with an unreadable expression and a little confused. 

'She has been liking me for the past two years? Lee Young Hee, are you stupid? You've been keeping this to yourself for two years?'

He was stunned and speechless. He doesn't know what to say. He looked down, guilt surrounded him. Why... why do I always make her hurt? Why do i always cause her pain? Why do I always break her heart? Sh heas been looking at me for the past two years and I never realized that... She must have been really hurt at that time. And now she was hurt again... all because of him. 

"Sonsaengnim, you should have known that this is all your fault. Let me tell you this; if you're not gonna pursue her, then leave her. Don't give her false hopes and simply left. You're only gonna hurt her in the end." Keun Suk said with a higher tone before he walked away to Young Hee's room.

END OF FLASHBACK

You're only gonna hurt her in the end.

That is the only thing he is capable of doing. Hurting her. He's such a selfish guy. His selfish self has made him wanted to get into her life to feed her selfish desire of being liked and loved, only to find himself unable to love her back because he just couldn't. There's an invisible line that somehow restricts him from going after her. In the end, he left her, hurt, hopeless and alone and that's just make him a coward and that he hated the fact that he couldn't bring himself out of the cowardness that surrounds him.

"Ah... I feel like there's only the two of us here, Hyun Joong."

Kim Bum said sarcastically. They had been watching Soo Hyun looking at the half empty glass filled with iced americano which has started to melt and no longer look refreshing. Soo Hyun was completely distraught by his own thoughts that he didn't realize that the two had been making noises, laughing and giggling and even watching him. As soon as he came to his senses, he stared at the two.

"Ah. Mianhae guys." he apologized and he grabbed the glass and drank the remaining half of the melted iced americano until it was empty.

"What's bothering you, man? You know you can talk to us." Kim Bum offered. Soo Hyun looked at the two again hesitantly whether or not he should tell.

"Ani. It's nothing much." he said.

"I don't think it was nothing. How can nothing makes you lost in your own thoughts for almost an hour, not even realizing what we have been doing in front of you? You wouldn't even noticed if I peed here!" Kim Bum nagged.

"Aishh, you dirty fella, can you drop that?!" both Hyun Joong and Soo Hyun shouted in disgust. "Dude, there's something called manner!" Hyun Joong added. Kim Bum just laughed. "Mianhae, sunbae." Hyun Joong just threw the remaining piece of leftover casserole that they just had for tea before everything went quiet once again and both of them looked at the troubled looking Soo Hyun. As if knowing what they want to ask, Soo Hyun began to speak. 

"I'm a jerk." he confessed. Kim Bum's eyes widened before he looked at Hyun Joong when Soo Hyun clarified it again.

"I really am a jerk." he said and laughed at his own confession.

"What's wrong, bro? Did something happened between you and Yuri?" Hyun Joong asked.

"That's the thing." Soo Hyun replied. Yuri. That name somehow hit him hard enough to realize what he has been doing all along.

"Yuri is my girlfriend. Yuri is supposed to be the one worthy of my love. I was supposed to be loving her and only her and no one else." he paused. "Yuri was supposed to be the one in my heart... but... why does it feels like it is not so? Like I couldn't love her anymore? As much as I hate myself to say this, but I'm confused right now. What have I been holding onto all this while? Am I just holding on to what seems to be something which I ought to treasure, just because I've been through a lot to get her back?" he looked at the two who seemed to be even more confused.

"I came to realize that because I want to protect our relationship, I hurt someone else. Just because I want to hold onto a relationship I fought so hard for, I broke someone's heart. And because of my selfishness of wanting to hold on to an empty feeling in my relationship but wanting to get someone else's love at the same time, I made her cry and left her in pain. I may choose not to care. After all, that's who I am. Why would I care about somebody else's feelings? But I couldn't. I just couldn't resist feeling guilty to see her in pain, what more that it was because of me. That I have caused her pain. It hurts me more to see her in pain because of me. I even asked myself, why should I be guilty? But I couldn't find any other answer than to admit that probably it's because I care for her. That she has become someone important to me. Somebody I can't lose. And what's worse is that I couldn't deny the fact that probably I've fallen for her. Gosh... I am such a jerk, am I not? I really am." he laughed again, laughing at his own selfishness, his own jerky attitude which has hurt himself and the one he loves. 

He then felt Hyun Joong patting his shoulder. 

"You're going through a very hard time there, Soo Hyun. But let me tell you this; this is a matter of your heart and feelings. It is something you can't control no matter how much you tried. Even if you force yourself to like someone but if your heart doesn't like that girl, it wouldn't work out anyhow. Similarly if you force yourself to hate or rather not to like someone. If your heart loves her there's nothing you can do other than to admit it. Everything that happened between you, Yuri and the other girl you mentioned earlier was out of your control. No one wants this to happen; it just happened. You may want to love Yuri and continue to love Yuri, but have you ask yourself lately why? Why do you have to love her? Is it something that came from your heart or merely an obligation? Just because you went through a lot to be with her again, you shouldn't let it go. Because of that, you should be loving her, otherwise all your efforts all this while would be in vain. Therefore, you feel obliged to love her." he paused after such a lengthy advice. That's not like him to talk a lot like that but when he is, good things came out from his mouth. This is what we call as friendship; doing things which is so not like you. 

"Hyun Joong Sunbae is right." Kim Bum agreed before continuing to talk in support of Hyun Joong. 

"And if you realize that your reason for holding on is because of your sense of obligation, then do you realize that you have actually forced yourself to do something which is out of your heart's conscience? Your heart says no but you proceed with it anyway. If you don't love her anymore, what's the point of holding on?" Kim Bum started to make sense. That dude has really grown up and matured.

Soo Hyun just looked down and run his hands through his hair. Both of them were right. He had been in denial because he was holding on to something which is supposed to be on the verge of dying. He wanted to walk out from the love parameters he has set for himself, but he couldn't because of his pride. And that pride of his has caused pain to someone else. 

Would you rather feed your pride and see someone that you love getting hurt over and over again because of you? 

That question hits him right through his chest. Nothing breaks his heart more than to see her crying and being in pain. But it hurts him more that he was the one who had caused her to feel pain. He had broken her heart into pieces and after everything that he has done to her, he doesn't know what to do. 

"Gosh," he laughed at his own stupidity. "What have I done?"

"Soo Hyun-ah, there is still a chance to fix everything. You only have to be determined. Make your decision and never turn back. If you love that girl, go for her. Tell her you love her. If you can't afford losing her or rather seeing her hurt because you just love her too much, get her. Grab hold of her hands and never let it go." Hyun Joong persuaded.

"Then what about Yuri?" he asked. Things are easier said than done. If he goes after Young hee, then what will happen to him and Yuri? The ones which he has been holding onto all this while?

"You can't be selfish, Soo Hyun. It's either one or none. You may hurt Yuri... but you're not gonna suffer. You can be selfish for your own happiness, yes. But for other people.." Hyun Joong shook his head slowly.

"Hyun Joong sunbae is right." Kim Bum paused. "Sunbae, if you let go of Yuri, you're only gonna hurt her, but not that other girl. You will be happy, and so does the other girl. If you don't let her go, you will only gonna hurt yourself and the girl. That's just like causing more damage at the end of the day." Kim Bum speak based on logic that Soo Hyun couldn't agree more. He looked at the two. "Thanks, guys." He smiled.

"Anytime, brother." Hyun Joong patted his back. 

"Who is that girl anyway? It annoys me to say this girl and that girl and that other girl without even knowing her name." Kim Bum nagged causing both of them to laugh a little.

"Lee Young Hee is the name." He felt calm upon saying out the name.

"Sounds pretty," Kim Bum nodded slowly. "Is it Professor Lee's daughter?"

"NO" Soo Hyun replied.

"Kidding, man, take it easy."

"She's...well, you can't help but to think weird when I say this but please don't judge, okay?" Soo Hyun asked. The other two just looked at him and raised their hands, as if making an oath.

"I know it is kind of a taboo... but she's my student. I couldn't help regardless of no matter how hard I tried."

"WHAT? She's your student??" Kim Bum was surprised.

"Hey, don't judge! That's the rule!" Hyun Joong pointed his finger before looking at Soo Hyun once again.

"It doesn't matter, Soo Hyun. It's not like you want this to happen. It can't be helped especially when it involves mutual feelings." Hyun Joong said in support.

"I don't mind, sunbae. But you have to be careful. She's a student and you're a lecturer. It's nice that both of you like each other. But like I said, just be careful araso? Other than that, You have my support." He offered his hands to Soo Hyun and they did their own bromance handshakes before all of them got up and closed the conversation. 

AT THE HOSPITAL

"Is everything ready?" Jang Keun Suk looked around the hospital room to see if everything has been packed. Today is the day that Young Hee is discharged from the hospital and it was only her and Keun Suk. Minho and Sulli left early because Minho had to take Sulli to a funeral after receiving a sudden news of her aunt't demise. 

"Done. Everything is packed. Let's go." she said as she carried her pink hospital bag.

"Here, let me carry it for you." Keun Suk offered.

"Ani, it's okay. I can carry-" she paused the moment she heard the door opened and a familiar figure came in. That young man who is always so fine in her eyes; so fine that she couldn't help but to feel hurt at the thoughts of the fact that she has to let him go. She knew this was supposed to be done long ago, but this time, she must be firm herself. She has decided not to waver anymore. She looked at him and her face crept out a fake awful smile.

"Are you going back today?" he asked awkwardly. 

"Urm..yes." she replied.

"Oh." He said. There was a long silent in the room before Keun Suk offered to wait for her outside and went out of the room, leaving only the two of them which makes things become even more awkward.

"So...," Soo Hyun began to speak, his eyes slowly turning to look at her after he was sure that Keun Suk has left the room. "Can I take you home?" he asked. Both of them looked at each other. He lookes at Young Hee whose expression was unreadable. And as for Soo Hyun, he was looking at her with an expression full of hope... Hoping that she would agree to accept her ride, although deep down he knew it was unlikely. There's just too many to tell; there's just so many things he need to tell her, if only she can read his mind. 

'I want you to stay with me...'

"Thanks,Sir, but no. I'm going with Keun Suk." she replied as she looked away.

"But I have to make sure that you're sa-" he was about to use the same excuse when he got cut off.

"That I'm safe? Because I'm your student so you're responsible in making sure that I'm safe?" she asked, knowing that he was going to say that. 

'Because I'm your student and that's who I am and who I'm gonna be'

He looked at her and nodded a little. Young Hee smiled.

"Don't worry, Sir. Should there be anything that happens, it's not your fault anyway. I'm the one who couldn't look after myself." she said as she bowed a little before leaving the room. 

"Young Hee, wait." he hastened as he grabbed her wrist. 'Don't go' he pleaded silently. But before he could say something, his phone rings. With his hand still holding onto her wrist, he took his phone out of his pocket and saw a familiar name on the screen.

"Is that Yuri?" Young Hee asked, with her back facing him.

"...Oh." he hesitantly replied. "It's her." 

"You should answer her call, otherwise she'd be worried." she said as she gently pulled her hands off him and walked away, leaving him alone in the room. She stood outside the room until she noticed Keun Suk has been standing on the opposite side of the corridor, watching her.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Ka-ja." She added as they walked together towards the elevator.

"I thought you're gonna leave with him." Keun Suk said. Young Hee turned to look at him who was already looking at her. Deep inside, she wanted too. But she knows she couldn't after everything that happened earlier this morning.

*FLASHBACK*

Young Hee, Minho and Sulli were chatting happily in a small hospital room on the day Young Hee was discharged. Sulli and Minho were there to help her pack her things. They talked about a lot of stuffs; assignments, theatre play and other things. The sickly environment does not feel like one when the two of them come over and that has mde her day. Then the door was knocked and a lady came in. 

"Lee Young Hee-sshi?" she asked. The atmosphere suddenly became very quiet and it feels as if there was only the two of them- Young Hee and the lady. She knows her. It was Kwon Yuri.

"Yes, is there anything I can help you with?" Young Hee asked politely with an awkward smile. 

"Erm yeah.. if you don't mind, I'd like to talk with you in private." she said, as she glanced at Minho and Sulli. The two quickly bowed before they left the room in order to give some time for them. "We'll be right back!" Sulli waved before she got dragged by Minho out of the room. Young Hee and Yuri watched the two of them until the door is closed, and then turned to look at each other. Yuri had a smile on her face, whereas Young Hee had a forceful smile.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm good. Doctor said that I can go home today." Young Hee replied.

"I see." Yuri nodded. That was a short conversation before things became quiet and awkward. She was looking around the room before turning back to look at Young Hee who had been staring at her with a puzzled expression. 'Why is she here?' and as if knowing what is on her mind, Yuri began to speak.

"I know this may be too sudden for you, but I heard about you so I came over for a visit. I didn't know that you're going to be discharged today." she said.

"No, it's alright. But Yuri-shi... is there anything else you want to say that you're coming all the way here?" she asked. Yuri looked at her for quite a long time with an unreadable expression on her face. Then she reached out her hands to hers. 

"Young Hee-sshi." she started to speak. "I've known you from Soo Hyun and I know that the two of you know and acknowledge each other. But I do not know the extent of your relationship. Soo Hyun said that you guys are only lecturer-student relationship... but I just don't see it that way." She confessed before going on. 

"I'm sorry to say this to you, Young Hee, but I feel insecure each time I see him with you. It's not that I don't trust him, I really do." she paused before saying something which hits Young Hee to the core.

"It is you that I don't trust." she was shaken at the words that came from Yuri. 

"W..w..why do you think like that?" Young Hee asked in shock but Yuri shook her hands which she had been holding on since just now and smiled. "Don't get me wrong, Young Hee. You're beautiful, you're charming and pretty in your own ways. You are nice, caring and gentle indeed. And because of that, I couldn't trust you to be near him. I feel insecure because you have so many good qualities that I don't have in me. You have to bear in mind that i'm a public figure. Everything that surrounds me become the highlights of the media. Including Soo Hyun. The whole word will try to look for him and get to know him. And I don't appreciate it if people finds out that he's close with you, what with you possessing fine qualities that makes me look like I don't deserve him. Consequently, this could affect my reputation as well as my career. It feels like I'm sharing him with you." she concluded. 

Young Hee looked at her. She was out of words. She didn't know what to say. She feels insecure because of that? And is that why she came to look for me personally like this and tell me not to bother Soo Hyun again? She was shocked, but she couldn't be mad at her for saying that because she has the right to say how she feels anyway. 

"Erm.." Young Hee cleared before speaking again. "I'm sorry that I have made you feel insecure. If that is what worries you, then rest assured. I will not contact him again. I will not gonna bother him anymore." 

"Really?" Her face brightened up at that and Young Hee just nodded but then her lively face turned blue again. 

"But you know... you have this play going on.. that you need to meet him often to discuss, right?" she asked. Just by asking, Young hee knows already what she meant by that. 

"Oh. Don't worry, I will be assigning my position to other student to replace me." she said.

"Is that okay for you?" she asked. Young Hee just nodded. "Mhmm." Then Yuri's face were glowing once again.

"Thank you, Young Hee. Thank you so much!" she hugged Young Hee and patted her back before facing her once again. "You're very nice. I couldn't thank you enough for what you've done to me." she smiled.

"Don't mention it." Young Hee smiled back. 

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Young Hee startled at the snap of Keun Suk's fingers on her face. "There you go, daydreaming again." he said.

"I'm sorry." she smiled as she went on thinking about the incident earlier. The ingoring, the promise she has made with Yuri, her own feelings, putting all these pieces together she realize that she has to let him go so that Yuri will no longer feel insecure and so that the couple can save their relationship. Her getting in the way between them is just going to make her be seen as a relationship wrecker and it's going to be hard for Soo Hyun. She doesn't want that to happen. Love is not only about pursuing someone you love, but to sacrifice your own happiness in place of the one you love. Love doesn't mean to own, sometimes it means to let go of your loved ones. She decided to keep in mind that perhaps this is the best thing she could do to put things together back in place.

A/N: HELLLOOO GUYSSS I'M BACK!! I'm really sorry for not writing for sooo longgg. I had a busy semester and now that I'm on my semester break, I decided to continue writing this fic. Sorry to keep you guys waiting. I hope you will still enjoy this fic and had not given up on it yet. Mianhaee!!~ 

Comments are appreciated! 

<3 Bella