Sunday @ Mango Six cafe

“If you look closely, you can actually see that one word can represent many things. I’m sure you know this right?” Soo Hyun asked as he handed over the readily opened thick brown text book of Shakespeare’s Sonnets to Young Hee, his finger pointing at line 2 of Sonnet 109.

“Though absence seemed my flame to qualify.... what does that supposed to mean?” she asked again. She has to admit that one of the toughest subject for her is Shakespeare. There are four Sonnets to be appreciated included in the syllabus, three plays and a special chapter about William Shakespeare himself. 

“Like I said, one word can have many possible meanings. Take this line 2 again for example. The word ‘flame’ can mean light; light can also mean knowledge, or it can mean burning love, or it can mean loathe, anger instead. The word ‘qualify’ can mean lessen, soften, or weaken. It’s how you interpret the sonnet word by word and try to make sense of it.” he explained.

“And how do I know if it makes sense or not?” she asked. She looked at Soo Hyun who had started to glare at her. She then knew what happened next.

“YAH. I’ve told you, that’s why you need to look at each word and see if it fits the meaning of the whole poem. Try to interpret what the poet intends to say,” he started to nag. 

“Ah, mianhae.” Young Hee grinned as she returned her gaze at the boring text book once again.

“Try to read and digest, then tell me what you think.” He instructed as he grabbed a cup of vanilla smoothies and struggled to in the black pearl through the straw. It was four in the evening and the weather was scorching hot. They were now at a Mango Six Cafe having their tea break as well as a mini tutorial session. He feels that this is the only thing that he can offer to help lessening Young Hee’s burden. The play had made them both busy all the time; there were daily meetings with the crew and even after the meeting has ended, both he and Young Hee had to stay back at the faculty until eight or nine at night because of extra works to be done pertaining to the play. Not only that, there were other works for the next few days. They had to look for new props and costumes and buy it as some of the props needed for the play were not in the faculty’s inventory list. Because of that, the play had taken almost most of his time as well as Young Hee’s time. It made him feel bad in some ways because she had to assist him, being the Assistant Director although it was not entirely his fault for having her dragged along with him in handling the play. He felt bad because due to their busy schedules with the play, she might not even have enough time to study. For this reason, he had promised to help Young Hee with her studies in every way he can; and this has actually caused them to meet almost everyday; even during weekends. He even had to decline his usual weekend plans with Yuri because of this, but it was not something that he feel regret for having to forgo it. Rather, he was happy that Yuri was fine with it although she nagged about it every once in a while. 

He continued struggling with the pearls in his drink only to fail once again upon hearing Young Hee tossed the thick book on the table, giving out a loud sound.

“Sonsaengnim! Compared to Sonnet 18, this one is rather gibberish, I have no idea what he’s trying to say. Why can’t he just say it straightaway? His words are confusing me!” Young Hee sighed as she threw her head down to the table, followed by Soo Hyun’s cute giggle after looking at her like that.

“If it is straightforward then how can it be a sonnet then?” he argued.

“Why do we even have to HAVE sonnets? Why can’t he just say what he meant? Then I don’t have to go through all these trouble.” she pouted.

“Lee Young Hee, people don’t always say what they mean. Hence the reason for all these poetry and literature.” His words somehow shook her to her heart. There were silence as Soo Hyun continued drinking his smoothie while Young Hee was still watching him. She was one of those people. She couldn’t say what she really feel. The one who has been keeping the three words in her heart but never had the chance to say it out. She couldn’t bring herself to say it out to him. Instead of saying those three words, she said “how nice of you.” Instead of saying out the three words, she ended up saying “you’re simply the nicest person I’ve ever met.” And that has of course, made her feel miserable deep inside.

Don't you know? How much I’ve been wanting to say out the three words?

“Why are you staring at me like that? Are you still not satisfied with what I said?” She was surprised upon being stormed with Soo Hyun’s voice in a dissatified tone. 

Geez. You like Shakespeare that much huh?

“What good is there? I think Shakespeare was just trying not to make it too obvious that he liked a guy back then, that’s why he did that.” she bluffed, trying to get rid of the feelings from distracting her.

“Yah yah yah you better watch what you’re saying. How dare you speak such an insult to Shakespeare? I've told you that the rumour saying that he is a gay was a red herring, didn't I? It’s fallacious!” He whined. 

“Tch. What’s so great about Shakespeare anyway, he almost failed me.” she said in an almost whispering tone, but still could be heard by Soo Hyun.

“YAH!” Soo Hyun yelled again while gritted his teeth. “Ah, whatever. Just hurry up and read the poem. Ani, just tell me what you understand from it.” he said and in more of his smoothie, waiting for Young Hee to speak up but Young Hee just stared at him.

“Why aren’t you speaking? Palli and explain to me,” he glared again. 

“Sonsaengnim I really don’t understand!” she pouted, almost crying her stress out. Soo Hyun looked at her watery eyes. It’s not the tears that asked for sympathy. It’s the tears that truly shows how much she hated the subject and could not cope up. He began to feel bad upon seeing her like that. He shouldn’t have pushed her too much in the first place. After all, it was the subject that he had to teach too and so he has the responsibility to make her understand better. Aish, screw me for being so sensitive when it comes to Shakespeare!

He sighed. “Aigooo this girl.... Here, let me explain.” he opened the book for her. “Generally Sonnet 1 to 126 talks about his friendship with someone. Now who is this particular someone? I'm sure I've explained this in class the other day. He's a nobleman." he asked.

"Earl of Oxford." she answered.

"Wrong. It's the Earl of  Southampton." he looked at Young Hee who was grinning. He cleared his throat before speaking again. "Friendship between commoner and noblemen was kind of hard back then, that’s why when you read the sonnets it feels almost like a forbidden love between man and man. From Sonnet 127 onwards, Shakespeare talks about love, lust, romance with his beautiful lover and others. Thus, he is NOT A GAY,” he emphasized before continuing again. He could see Young Hee giggled a little and realized he was smiling too.

“So, this Sonnet 109 talks about how he was separated from his dear friend but it has never weakened his love towards the friend. They say home is where the heart is. His home is where his dear friend is, and thus just like a traveler returns to his home, he would return to his friend’s side with his feelings unchanged. Because his friend is everything to him and nothing else matters.” he wrapped the explanation and closed the book. 

“Do you understand now?” he asked.

“Yes.” she smiled. “So this poem talks about how his love for his dear friend has never changed no matter how far he’d travelled?” 

“Not exactly like that. You see, the word ‘travel’ here connotes other meaning. It does not literally mean ‘travel’, what it means here is that even if they were separated by ocean or islands; no matter how far they were from each other, being away from each other, that does not change how the poet feels about his friend.” 

“It’s Shakespeare,” she corrected.

“What Shakespeare?” he asked again.

“That does not change how SHAKESPEARE feels about his friend, not how the POET feels about his friend.” she repeated what he had explained except for the ‘poet’ part where she purposely changed it to Shakespeare. 

“It’s more or less the same thing, Young Hee.” he said, knowing certainly what she meant.

“But the feeling is different.” she giggled. “It sounds more like he’s a gay,” she teased again.

“Yah, just stop it already,” he giggled, warning her for the last time. “Palli finish up your drink. It doesn’t look like a smoothie anymore,” he said as he widened his eyes and laughed upon seeing the melted mango smoothie in the plastic cup. “Yaaah, it almost looks like a mango juice! You might as well ordered a juice in the first place instead of a smoothie!” he teased.

“It’s all your fault! You’re the one who asked me to read this stupid sonnet and until I fully understand it, I am not allowed to drink.” she pouted.

“And who asked you to believe me?” he asked again before he burst into victorious laughter of fooling her. 

“Songsaengnim!” she yelled.

That night @ Young Hee’s residence

LEE YOUNG HEE grabbed a yellow alarm clock next to her bed. She didn’t have early class in the morning so she set it up a bit late; at 8.30AM and then placed it back on the table next to her bed. As she lied down, she looked up the ceiling and the stars which glowed in the dark. She remembered something and pulled out something from her beige coloured Avenue 86 backpack. It was something wrapped in a pink paper bag woth gold strip labelled ‘Victoria’s Secret’. She took out a red long box which was in the paper bag and took out a perfume from it.

“It’s really Pure Seduction!” she said, amazed. She was amazed of the fact that Soo Hyun really know how to choose. The perfume was one of her favourite and she would use it everyday. She recalled the awkward conversation in the car that evening while they were on their way to her house after the mini tutorial session at Mango Six.

*Flashback*

There wasn’t any voice heard in the car; it was silent all the way, only the sound of DJ chattering in the radio followed by a few English songs playing one after another. They had been playing Taylor Swift’s Red at one moment, and then One Direction’s Midnight Memories during the next. Followed by Lawson’s Juliet song and then Passenger’s Let Her Go during the next before Soo Hyun grabbed something from the pocket of the backseat of the passenger’s side which Young Hee was sitting. Young Hee was taken aback at first because he suddenly barged closer to her, only to find him taking something out from the backseat on her side. 

“Sorry,” he said as he moved himself away from her, with his hands holding a familiar pink paper bag. He then handed this to her. Her eyes widened in surprised, and at the same time confused.

What is this? Why is he giving me this?

“For you.” he said, with his eyes looking away. Young Hee was still staring at him in surprise. She couldn’t believe her eyes.

Soo Hyun gives me something? Is this really happening?

She could see Soo Hyun started to feel uncomfortable, probably because she was staring at him for so long. And that’s when she realized that she had been staring at the young handsome man in his white collar casual Tshirt with his eyes focussing on the road.

“Sonsaengnim, why are you giving me this? It’s not even my birthday yet...” she could not proceed. She just doesn’t know what to say or what to feel. She was flattered the moment he handed her the paper bag. She peeked inside the bag and saw a red box. She took it out to confirm what has been in her mind the moment she saw the bag. It was right. It was her favorite Pure Seduction perfume. 

“Ahem,” Soo Hyun cleared his throat. “Do you have to wait until birthday to get gifts? Do you have to wait for Christmas to get gifts?” he said, his eyes still looked away. 

“Then why are you...giving me this?” she asked again. She could not deny that right now at this moment, she could feel butterflies in her stomach and her heart began to race. She was was fluttered with what he was doing to her. She had never expected this from him; to receive such a gift from him is like a dream. Was she even dreaming? She was sure that it was not a dream, for everything was crystal clear and so vivid.

“It was a thank you gift. You know... for the good cooperation. For assisting me... and stuffs.” he said. 

She was still looking at him. Deep inside, she was flattered. She was touched. She was extremely happy that Soo Hyun was thinking of her. She was happy merely of the fact that she exist in his mind. 

“That’s very nice of you. Thank you, Sonsaengnim.”

*End of flashback*

Even though it was only a thank you gift, she was grateful. However, deep down her heart she wished it was more than that. But she knew it was impossible and that she couldn’t expect for more.

“You’re simply the sweetest, Sir.” she whispered as she hugged the paper bag containing the perfume together in her sleep.

That night @ Soo Hyun’s residence.

KIM SOO HYUN  was lying on the couch in his apartment with his hands pillowed his head. Unconsciously, he was pulled in deep thoughts once again. He began to recall the conversation in the car earlier this evening and could not bear the embarassment he had at that time. He could feel his cheek turning red upon handing over the paper bag to Young Hee. The fact that Young Hee looked at him for a long time in surprise makes him embarassed even more. He could not deny that he was quite nervous when giving the gift to her earlier as it was his first time doing this kind of thing to someone other than Yuri.

And why did he even do that? He figured the answer himself. 

“It was a thank you gift. You know... for the good cooperation. For assisting me... and stuffs.”

It was more like an expression of gratitude; not merely because of a good cooperation that they have between Director and AD as well as lecturer and a student. It’s more of a gift from a friend to a friend. 

Ani.

It was more likely a gift from a horrible person reaching for someone to be a friend. He knew he will never be the best of friend for Young Hee, but he was grateful to have Young Hee by his side as his friend. He wanted to always keep her by his side, but he knee it was impossible. Despite their relationship getting closer and closer each day, he could feel that Young Hee was still awkward with him. He knew that Young Hee did that because she was afraid; she was afraid that he would push her away again like what he did last time. 

Lee Young Hee, if only you know how sorry I am...

He got up from the couch and walked towards the desk in his room. He tapped his fingers on the table while waiting for the Windows on his laptop screen to be ready for functioning. When it did, he hovered his cursor to an icon at the desktop of his laptop and clicked on it. He took a deep breath and began typing upon the appearance of a white screen coming out as a result from the click on the icon. It was a Diary application.

Appa,

Today I met her again. The one that I talked to you about last time. The one who comforted me when we talked about you. I offered to teach her today because she needed help with her Shakespeare subject and since I am the one who teaches her, I guess it’s my responsibility to help her until she understands, right? The funny thing is that we went through Sonnet 109 instead of Sonnet 148 today, which was not in the plan at all. She had been preparing for Sonnet 148 and nagged a little when I suddenly change it to Sonnet 109. She said it was as if she came to me unprepared; but I said it’s fine, since it was me who changed it. I have no idea why am I doing this with her. But I feel that I want to go through Sonnet 109 with her. 

Appa, if you didn’t know, Sonnet 109 talks about friendship.. and love. It’s how a friend  who would always return to his friend’s side no matter how far they were separated from each other. The way I see it, this Sonnet was very meaningful. It teaches me about friendship. The true meaning of friendship. How he returns to his friend after being separated for so long. And that has never changed his love towards the friend, Appa. It’s amazing, isn’t it? What a beautiful friendship. How the poet’s friend means everything to the poet. Like what Young Hee said, how SHAKESPEARE treasured his friendship with his friend. 

I just want to share that moment with her. To convey it to her. That’s why I decided to change the Sonnet today. To say that she’s a dear friend. Appa, no one has ever treated me so nicely and gently before and she’s the first. I want to say that out, so that she’ll know. But I didn’t get to say it because she distracted me with the rumours about Shakespeare being gay and you know I could easily get annoyed with it. But that was not the only reason. I just didn’t have the guts to say it out.

He then recalled the discussion earlier that evening when they had the mini tutorial session at the cafe.

“Lee Young Hee, people don’t always say what they mean.”

Sometimes there are things that is best kept to themselves. Don’t you think, Appa?

I missed you. If only you were here to listen to me....

He closed the Diary application and shut down his laptop and tossed himself to the bed.

A/N: Annyeong yeorobun!~

So I've been spending my free time trying to update this fic as much as I can but I know I shouldn't do it in a rush. But I'm gonna be busy starting from the next few days onwards because I've started my new semester; it's gonna be a hectic semester for me and I may not be able to update often. I really hope you'll enjoy and keep anticipating for it! Tell me what you think, whether it's critical or not. Thanks and love you!

<3 Bella