Friday morning @ the faculty

LEE YOUNG HEE walked down the stairs of the East wing and headed her way towards the theatre hall. She had just come back from the Student’s Affair Division for a meeting. The meeting was to hold a homecoming party for the alumni of the Faculty of English. It was also going to be a big event that she would have to organize as the representative of the Student’s Dean List Club. She sighed upon thinking just how many events have this faculty organized which has had her unwillingly involved in their hostings, just because she was the president of the Dean’s Club, which is highly and closely associated with the main organizer department, the Student’s Affairs Division. 

She put on her headphones and played a random selection from her iPod.

Bruno Mar’s ‘The Lazy Song’ was playing.

‘Geez, just exactly how I feel today.’ she thought. It was 10.00AM on Friday morning. She didn’t really have the mood to do her works for today. If others are having their Monday Blues, she was sure that hers would be Friday Blues. She had no idea herself but thinking that it might be because she doesn’t get to see Soo Hyun around on that day. She does not have class with him every Friday and that is what makes her all gloomy, moody and dull. But these days she feels that everyday is a gloomy day for her...ever since the incident with Soo Hyun at the garden. Deep down, she just doesn’t know what to feel. She was all giddy and happy recalling the incident during the faculty dinner, only to get hurt in the next moment upon recalling the incident at the isolated garden. The heartbreaking words that stabbed her in the chest and how it has hurt her deep inside, making her life surrounded by guilt, sorrow and pain. 

She took her notebook out from her light brown River Island satchel bag and browse through her ‘To-Do-List’ for the day to distract herself from thinking about him and the painful words of his. 

1. Meeting for alumni dinner 

She jotted down the summarized details of today’s meeting. All that’s left for the event is the final rehearsal and the door gifts which will be sponsored by Comcast Home Shopping Ltd, a company which produces large scale of seasonal home shopping products.

“Anyway, that’s checked.” she murmured, checking further on her To Do List.

2. Meeting for winter play

She sighed. This was another meeting that she had to attend to before she finished off her duty for the day. Luckily she had only one class in the morning at 8.30AM and did not have to skip her classes for this stupid meeting. Again for this play, she was involuntarily involved. She was dragged along due to her position in the Student’s Dean Club. Thinking about it, she knew there were lots of works ahead with regards to the play because they had just been in the first stage which is the first meeting with the Director and the crews. There was still audition to be held, selection of roles to be done, props and costumes to be managed and continuous practice until the big day itself. This must be tiring for her and the Director as well because they will be handling practically everything pertaining to the play. The last she heard, she will be working with Professor Lee who is known to be a strict lecturer during lectures, friendly with students outside the lecture, scared of the Dean, scared of his wife, lousy at works or activities other than those related to his career. Upon knowing that, she heaved another sigh, this time she turned the volume of her iPod to the loudest with The Beatles - I’m Only Sleeping playing next on her iPod.

Lazily but forcefully, she quickened her pace towards the theatre hall, couldn’t wait to finish the final task of the day and go straight to the campus swimming centre. She had not been in the pool for so long and she knew she needed it...after all of the tasks which drove her to a complete exhaustion. She couldn’t wait to sink herself down the blue water and surrounded by a peaceful, quiet underwater ambience.

She entered the theatre hall and bowed respectfully to the crews. He looked around, searching for Professor Lee but he was nowhere in sight. She asked one of the crew and was informed that he might be late. She walked towards the stage, analysing every nooks and corners and had already a few ideas in mind as to how the play is going to be sorted out. She then heard the theatre door opened. 

‘It must be Professor Lee,’ she thought ans turned around. She was stunned upon seeing a young man coming in instead of the half bald white haired professor with a bloated stomach. It was Kim Soo Hyun coming in, bowing to the crews and greeted them apologetically for being late. He was wearing his favourite maroon formal shirt and white slacks again while holding a blue file. Young Hee has the blue file with her too. The blue file lays down the details for the play and only the crews, Director and Assistant Director have it. The fact that he came in with the blue file left Young Hee thousands of questions but she was blanked temporarily when she saw him walking towards her. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked coolly and when he saw her looking at him with an unblinking eye, he snapped his fingers in front of her. 

“Hellooooo I’m talking to you.” he said, bringing her back to her senses.

“Ah, juseonghamnida.” she bowed slightly while trying to digest his question earlier.

“I am the AD for the play.” she answered.

“AD-yo?” he asked.

“Oh. AD.” she nodded. There was silence for a moment and he was still looking through her eyes for quite a while which makes her becoming even more nervous. 

“Seems like we’ll be working together then. If you didn’t know, I will be replacing Professor Lee for the play.” he informed. Her eyes widened upon hearing that.

“Moragu?” she asked.

“You heard. Why do you look so surprised?” he asked, shifting his gaze towards the blue file in his hands, flipping through the papers in it. 

Young Hee looked at her for a moment while he studied the blue file attentively. She began to have monologues with herself.

Is this for real? Is this really happening? She couldn’t believe her ears.

She just doesn’t know what to feel. Part of her jumped in excitement upon knowing that they will be working together and she would be able to see him everyday and talk to him everyday. But part of her feels that this isn’t a good idea. 

She likes him too much; she even loves him. She was sad to see him sad, she was in pain to see him in pain. She feels bad when her words hurt him. She feels bad when she couldn’t be there for him and help him out. But she was heartbroken the moment he got back together with Yuri. She could not be happy having him looking at another woman although she was the one who encouraged him to do so; nor could she force herself to feel happy too. Nevertheless, she never regret it because she certainly knows that that is the best for him; seeing him happy now somehow makes her feel glad although it makes her feel really hurt inside. 

But the thing is, here’s the chance of healing her broken heart. Here lies the chance of recovering all the past days spent missing him. But, what if she gets hurt in the end? What if she likes him more and more each day only to realize that he wasn’t hers to begin with, and upon realizing that, it will hurt her all over again? What if she couldn’t control her feelings that in the end it will hurt her?

And rather, would he have liked it if she works together with him? He hated me and he had even made clear of this the day we fought at the garden. 

“I don’t want to see you ever again, you immature kid. And you know what? Thanks to you, you’ve just made me hate you.” 

Her heart sank upon recalling the last hurtful words he said to her at the garden that day. The words have stabbed her in the chest and has left a huge wound in her heart causing her heart to break into pieces, remained shattered and unmended. But the worst feeling is that she couldn’t hate him although she wanted to because she loves him so much that she could still be nervous everytime he’s around; he could still drive her crazy whenever he passes by and even after everything that has happened, she could still miss him so damn much that she spent lonely nights  listening to Taylor Swift’s Teardrops on My Guitar and other sad heartbroken songs on repeat while crying to herself just thinking how hurt it is to lose someone that wasn’t even hers to begin with. 

She could feel tears began to form in her eyes so she quickly looked away and trying to hold in back in before facing him once again.

‘This isn’t a good idea,’ she concluded.

“Sir, if you feel uncomfortable working with me, I can find you a replacement.” she suggested. 

“Why would I feel uncomfortable?” he asked, his eyes still studying the blue file.

“Erm... I just thought..maybe..urm..” she stuttered. She really couldn’t bring herself talk about the incident once again. “It’s nothing.” she finally gave up and was about to walk away when she felt her arms grabbed and spinned, turning her around to face him again.

UPON KNOWING THAT LEE YOUNG HEE BECOMES THE ASSISTANT DIRECTOR, KIM SOO HYUN looked through her eyes for quite a while. He had learnt from the Dean earlier when talked with her about replacing Professor Lee for the play that Young Hee would be the AD, assisting him throughout the play. And earlier, he had even confirmed this with her. He does not usually feel this but in the first place he feels quite reluctant to take over Professor Lee’s role upon knowing that fact. The fact that it was Lee Young Hee who will be assisting him. He had no idea why himself but there was a strange feeling inside of him that tells him that this may, or may not be a good idea. But he couldn’t go back to his words with Professor Lee and also especially when the Dean had even agreed to this replacement. If he had asked Professor Lee about the AD specifically, he wouldn’t have come to this situation. But he had no choice. It’s not like he refused it totally; it’s just that he was a bit reluctant. Reluctant because it’s her, it’s Young Hee and no other reason. 

The thoughts about Young Hee has led him towards a remorseful feeling he has towards her about the incident at the garden. He feels guilty for uttering those words to her and that must have hurt her a lot when all she did was to reach out for him... as a friend in need and as a friend who cared for him. But he drove her away and she had been avoiding him ever since then. There were couple of times when he wanted to approach her to tell her he was sorry but she walked away even before he could speak anything to her. That wasn’t before he had a chance to do so during the dinner when he grabbed hold of her, catching her from falling in front of the ladies that night. But he didn’t because he was momentarily captivated by her beauty.

Thinking about it again, he was still looking at her, studying her face. She was plain and simple, different from the faculty dinner. She did not wear any make up and still have that fair skin. Her long hair was dyed dark brown; her headphones clung onto her neck. She was wearing a slim formal coat with heavy floral patterns with a plain white T’s inside, a peach shorts, and a red flat shoes; her River Island satchel slinging alongside of her shoulder down to her waist, and she was holding the blue file too. 

‘She’s still pretty though,’ he thought, before realizing that he was captivated by her plain beauty once again.

“Seems like we’ll be working together then. If you didn’t know, I will be replacing Professor Lee for the play.” he informed. He saw her eyes widened in surprise.

“Moragu?” she asked, informally.

“You heard. Why do you look so surprised?” he asked and then flipped through his blue file, not wanting to look at her again. 

From his gaze on the papers he could see her eyes still looking at her with a mixed expression. She looked rather hurt, confused and guilty. Looking at her gazing at him that way, he figured. She shared the same thought with him when he first find out about her being the AD for the play; that’s probably how she feels towards him too. He knew he couldn’t act like everything is okay between the two of them; they need to talk it out. He knew she was totally taken aback by his words and he felt really bad ever since them, and especially when he saw her avoiding him since then. No matter how hard he tried to forget, he just couldn’t. He couldn’t help but to feel bad for treating her that way at the garden. He felt bad for uttering harsh words that certainly left big impact on her, on both of them due to his madness. His words have made him lost a friend. His words have made him and her to become a complete stranger now. His words have caused them not to talk to each other and avoid each other ever since then. 

“Sir, if you feel uncomfortable working with me, I can find you a replacement.” she began to speak. 

“Why would I feel uncomfortable?” he asked, his eyes still studying the blue file; he couldn't bring himself facing her once again.

“Erm... I just thought..maybe..urm..” she stuttered.  “It’s nothing.” 

His guilt rushed through his emotions and he couldn’t bear it anymore. He knew he needs to make things right; he knew he needs to fix everything that he had caused. That’s when he saw her eyes started to become teary that she quickly looked away and tried to hold back her tears before she walked away. He grabbed her arms and spinned her around to face him again. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. Her eyes looked at his, as if searching for the answer to her confusion.

“I’m sorry for the incident that happened last month. I didn’t mean what I said to you that day.” his eyes now looked away, couldn’t bear to face her right in the eyes.

“I shouldn’t be uttering those harsh and hurtful words to you but I did it because I was too angry and for that I’m so sorry. I’ve noticed that you’ve been avoiding me since the incident and I feel bad ever since.’ he apologized.

“Don’t,” she said. He slowly looked at her and find her smiling... with that watery eyes of hers. 

“Don’t apologize, Sir. It’s not your fault. It’s my fault. I went over the line when I really should not.” she apologized instead.

They both looked at each other with a guilty expression in both of their gazes.

“Mianhae. I’m really really really sorry,” was all that he could say.

“Ani, I’m even more more more more sorry,” she replied.

“Ani, I’m even more more more more more sorry,” he replied again.

“Ani, I’m even more more-” 

“Yah, that could go on forever. Enough already,” he smiled as he saw her smiling too.