IT WAS NINE IN THE MORNING WHEN KIM SOO HYUN WOKE UP AT THE STIRRING OF YOUNG HEE'S FINGERS. He had been staying up the whole night looking after her. Young Hee had to be admitted to the hospital because of depression which causes dehydration and fatigue. Since he could not find a way of contacting her parents and since it was an emergency situation, he voluntarily signed for her admittance into the ward as her guardian, taking into account the fact that he was responsible because she fainted during the practice and that it happened in the campus. He yawned before directing his gaze towards Young Hee who was still fast asleep. She looked better now that she was put on a drip as compared to yesterday where she looked really pale. He felt warmth on his hands; and that's when he realized that he had been holding her hands for the whole night while he was sleeping. He had been keeping her hands warm for the whole night. He had to admit one thing; that it was somehow comforting. The warmth that it gave to both their hands were something that he couldn't want to let go just yet, but as much as he wanted to stay like this, he knew he had to let it go. He slowly get off his hands off her delicate hands as he continued watching her sleeping. He studied her face. She looked calm and relaxing; as if all of her problems are washed away with a long hours of sleep. How can a person be so beautiful even when sleeping? 

As he was studying her face, a mixed feeling suddenly rushed through his body. He felt small; and he could feel his heart sank as he watched her on the hospital bed. He couldn't help but to feel guilty that she became like this because of him. As much as he hate to admit this, he couldn't deny that he was the worst person for ever treating Young Hee the way a man should never do. He did not know when it started, but he realized that he had been in confusion for quite sometime too. It took him quite a while to accept what has happened between both of them. It was rather a harsh truth to accept. He knew she had feelings for him. He began to notice that when she cried few days ago during the rehearsal. At first he thought that it was her personality that is so fragile and so sensitive that she can cry even to little things; which explained the reason why she cried when they first met each other at the hallway out of the lecture hall; and the time when they got into a fight when she brought up Yuri back then. But after seeing her talk about her bitter childhood life, it was different. She did not cry even when it feels like it hurts her so much that he could even feel it himself. Now, everything seems to make sense. Why she cried in front of him. She was not fragile as he thought she is; she cried because of him. And that's when he realized that he had been hurting her all along. 

But then again, everything could have just stopped at that. had he not reacted with her, everything could have been fine and no one's gonna be extremely hurt. But here's the thing that hurts the most: he couldn't deny that he actually likes her too. As much as he hate to admit it, he couldn't help but to feel something for her. And that has made him the worst person ever because it feels like he was a two-timer, player and selfish. It makes him feel as if he was having an affair. Why does he have to feel that way towards Young Hee when Yuri is by his side?  He has a feeling that Young Hee probably became like this (lying down in a hospital bed) because of him too. What has he done? What is happening to him? Why is this happening to him? He couldn't seem to find an answer to that. 

His eyes widened before he glanced away when Young Hee slowly opened her eyes and find him sitting there alone. 

Lee Young Hee, what exactly have you done to me?

LEE YOUNG HEE WOKE UP ONLY TO FIND KIM SOO HYUN SITTING ON THE VISITOR'S CHAIR, ALONE AND GLANCING AWAY FROM HER. 

"Songsaengnim..." she began to speak with a broken voice. He turned to look at her and smiled.

"How do you feel?"

"I..erm.." she tried to get up but she felt her whole body aching and she couldn't help but to wince slightly in pain.

"Your body is aching because you've been lying on the bed for the whole night. It feels a bit sore. You should rest some more." he said softly as he got up from his seat to stand the pillow in a position comfortable for her to lean against and rest her back on it. 

"Sonsaengnim, did I really sleep for the whole night? And why are you here so early in the morning?" she asked.

"I..err...," he paused. "I was actually going to settle my utility bills and others. And I dropped by to check on you." 

She stared into his eyes as he looked away from looking directly in her eyes. She knew he was lying. She woke up at three in the morning and was a bit surprised to see him next to her. She was happy at the thought that he was actually there for her, being with her all through the night. But like always, all happy moment such as that came to an end upon realizing that it was rather like a dream although it was vividly a reality. She was happy only for a moment before she realized that she's gonna get hurt all over again and she shouldn't be leaping for joy when he came in to visit her like this. Like what he always said, it was always because of the fact that he was a lecturer responsible for her while the play is still going on. 

But she couldn't help herself to feel the warmth of his hand; just like the warmth that it gives when she reached out for his the night they enjoyed looking at the starry sky at night. Once again, she slowly reached for his hands and touched him gently, being careful so as not to wake him up. And once again, it feels warm. It was soothing and comforting. That hand which was full of love and care. She could then feel his hand stirred beneath hers and gently get her hands away from his. Her heart skipped a beat when she felt his hands reached for hers and hold it within his hand once again; as if not wanting her to let go of the warmth they shared with each other; and that's when she realized that she was sank into the warmth of his love; although the love was not particularly for her. How can she resist him like this? Oh how can she? How can she let go of him like this? And that's when she realized that she can never stop falling for him. No matter how much she tried to get over him and move on, she would find herself falling all over him once again, being deeply in love for each and every fall. 

"Do you want anything to eat?" he asked.

"I'm not sure if I can eat other things apart from the hospital food," she joked in her weakened state.

"The doctor said you can eat anything." he explained. "Since the hospital food is boring and not tasty, I thought of buying food from the canteen here. You wait here while I go buy some for you okay?" he suggested.

"Okay." she simply said as she watched him got up and walked out of the room. 

This can't be. She knew this shouldn't be happening this time around. It is time for her to learn a lesson. She has had enough and she doesn't want to go through all that pain once again. The pain was just unbearable and it was not worth it; to love someone and get hurt because of the same person many times only to realize that he'll never be hers no matter how much she loved him. 

But why can't her heart just let him go and move on? Why does it feels like it is him and it will always be him that she will always love? Why does it feels like if it's not him, it can't be anyone else? Why does it feels like he's her ultimate love? That no matter how far she ran away from him, she'll always run her way back to him in the end?

Ani. Time will heal everything. As times goes by, everything will get better in time. She just have to believe that and stay strong going through the pain. The pain not of being heartbroken, but the pain of letting go. Who says letting go doesn't hurt? It hurts the most, but it will heal like magic. That's what she sets in mind. She just have to believe it. 

She slowly got up from her bed and drag along the water drip as she walked herself out of the room. She had been in the hospital for a day and she thought she had to inform her father about this at least. She walked to the counter but quickly took a few steps back and hide herself behind the wall upon seeing Soo Hyun and Yuri together. They were talking about something which was clear enough for her to hear. 

"Oppa, does that girl mean anything to you? Why are you treating her differently from the others?" she began to yell.

"Yuri, lower your voice! You're making a scene here!" he said while grabbing her shoulders and looked around to see if there's anyone nearby who could hear them out. Young Hee headed an inch back to behind the wall, fearing that Soo Hyun might caught her.

"I don't care! Oppa, answer me now, who is that girl to you?" she asked again, this time her voie was not as loud as before.

"How many times should I tell you this to put your heart at ease? That girl is just my student and nothing else." he insisted.

"Do you like her?" she said. 

"N..no. I don't. She's my student and that's who she is. Nothing will change. Are you happy now?" He asked.

"It better be that way then. Oppa, remember that it took me everything just to get back with you and I won't be letting you go easily. Your heart should never be wavered at anyone else especially Young Hee." she said, leaving Soo Hyun speechless for a while before continuing to speak words that stabbed Young Hee to her heart.

"Don't worry Yuri. It will never happen." 

Young Hee headed back to her room with a heavy heart. Tears started to fill her eyes and she could barely see anything. She gripped on the hospital shirt tightly on the chest while her quivering lips let out a soft sobs before she covered it with her hand. She could feel her heart crushing each time she recall the hurtful conversation that she eavesdropped earlier. 

She is my student and that's who she is. Nothing will change.

It hurts too much that it was unbearable. So that was it? That she was a student and nothing more? She didn't know what she was more upset about; that she was just a student or that she was stupid for knowing all along but still loving him and hoping that he will look at her some day. This is what you get for expecting too much, loving too much and hoping too much. Part of her wanted to hate Soo Hyun and blamed Soo Hyun for making her heart flutter at one moment and crushed it altogether at the next moment; but she couldn't do that because she knew she'd be lying. She couldn't hate him no matter how much she wanted too. She should have drifted away from him if she knew she was going to act like this. She should have stayed away from him if she knew she couldn't handle all this pain. She should have reminded herself over and over again that it is Yuri and it will always be Yuri that he'll love and he'll never look at anyone else. She shouldn't have let her heart be fluttered at the little things that he did to her because he never felt anything; she was the only one who gets overexcited by the mere thought of it. She shouldn't have let her heart wavered for him at the little attention that he gave towards her. She shouldn't have let herself drowning by the different treatment that he gave to her because it was not special for him; she was the only one who thinks that it was special. Because of these reasons, all that's left for her now is an aching heart as a result for loving too much and expecting too much of him although she knows that she will never be in his heart because in deep inside his heart, there is Kwon Yuri and it will always be her and no one else. 

"DO you like her?" Soo Hyun was stormed with a question that gave him quite a bomb. Do I like her?

"No.. I don't." He hesitantly replied. He didn't think it was possible but all the words that came out from his mouth seems to be a lie. It didn't feel like the truth. Where is the truth? What is the truth? Why did he conceal the truth? Because the truth is confusing. The truth is hurting. The truth is better left to be concealed rather than revealed. 

"She's my student and that's who she is. Nothing will change." He added again, gaining Yuri's trust. But why does he feel his heart sank at the very utterance of those words? Why does it ache his heart to say that she's merely a student? Because he knew very well that it was a lie. He doesn't feel that way towards her. He was just saying that to convince Yuri that there was nothing going on. It was also to convince himself that he shouldn't get entangled into these confusion and set his mind straight to what he want to believe. 

That's true. If he keeps on telling himself that she was nothing more than a student, it will perhaps turn out to be the way he believes in. Sometimes you have to believe the lie to be true so that it doesn't look like a lie. So that it doesn't feel like a lie.

How could his heart become swayed so easily? How could he let his own heart wavered so easily when he has Yuri in his heart?

If Young Hee's the person who has gained his heart, what about Kwon Yuri? Why is this confusion never end?

Love... does it have to be this complicated?

He sighed as he entered Young Hee's ward with a plastic of take away food in his hands. He looked at Young Hee, whose back was facing him. Who is this young lady to him? Should he keep her closer or should he drive her away? If he keeps her closer, then he'll be the one who is selfish. If he drive her away, he'll be the worst person ever. He can't really decide. It is a matter of what his heart is having and what his heart desires to have. On the other side, it is not a matter of choice. He couldn't really listen to his heart because his heart keeps directing him back to Young Hee. His mind keeps telling him that it was not a good action to begin with. 

You're a lecturer and she's a student, for God's sake. Nothing's gonna work. 

That is what his conscience says. 

Do you forget that someone else is in your heart now or are you simply a fool in love?

Again, his conscience whispered to him.

Indeed, he feels like an idiot now.  feels like a fool for believing that his treatment towards her was because of friendship and nothing more. He feels like a fool for not being able to figure out answers to his own heart and mind. He feels like a fool for treating someone so special that she mistaken it to be out of love, and that's when he realized that he has broken a fragile heart of a pure young lady. Is he proud of it? Not at all. He feels like a jerk. A stupid jrk for realizing his own feelings too late that it took a girl's broken heart and teary eyes to realize how stupid of a person he was.

But even now that he realizes everything, why can't he stop himself from returning to her? It feels like no matter how he wanted to avoid her, he would run all the way back to her. He will eventually be led towards her. This happened quite a few times back whe he didn't realized it was not an ordinary feeling. The incident at the garden, the incident at the hallway when they met for the first time, and now, he was in her room, still find himself returning to her each time he left her. Why does it feels more like a destiny when he's with her?

Ani. This is the voice of his heart, telling him what to believe in. He shouldn't listen. But why does it feels more like the truth when he listen to his heart?

He couldn't figure out himself and that is what makes him even more stupid.

"I've bought you some food." he said while looking at her lying still, with her back facing him.

"Just leave it there. I'll eat it later when I'm hungry." she said in an unusual tone. It doesn't sound weak, but more like cold and broken. He couldn't help but to be curious, as to why did she sound like that.

"But the food will become cold. You should eat it while it --" he couldn't finish his words when she hit him with her next cold, sharp  and burning words which stabbed him in the chest.

"Sonsaengnim, can you leave me alone, please? I can take care of myself." she said, still backfacing him together with her cold words.

A/N: Sorry for the very short and boring chapter! Yeah as much as I hate to see Soo Hyun got confused, I'm confused myself lol~ Subscribing are lovely, comments are appreciated! Thanks! 

<3 Bella