Jiyong regrets many things in his life, and one of it is not being able to wake up earlier in the morning to feed Ai while he still could do it. 

Now, he could not even talk and he can't tell any of s to go check on the cat, though he's sure that Dami would feed her. But still, he couldn't stop wondering how she's doing, how big she'd grown and most of all, Jiyong misses the cute purring noise that she'd make whenever he her head. If only he had a little more time. 

He tried to move but his arm was sore from all those needles that are stuck in there, and his chest feels tight because of the tube that is all the harmful fluid from his body. He moved his head a little, so that he could see the window. There's a gentle tapping of raindrops against the window. The drops trickle down and it brought a sense of calmness within him. These were his favourite kind of days, when he didn't have to feel bad about not leaving his house. It was the time where he could be alone and be himself although it doesn't lasts forever. 

Youngbae was right beside him, humming softly while scrolling past his phone. Seungri and Daesung was playing some sort of board game and Seunghyun is sleeping, catching up with the hours of sleeps that he had lose. Despite of the soreness on his chest, Jiyong find himself relaxing after seeing that his brothers was there with him. It had been roughly around three years since he was diagnosed with the terminal disease, forcing him to be off their usually packed schedules for about three months. It was an emotional roller coaster, from him trying to swallow the reality to telling s about it. Their emotions gets the best of them at first, but they manage to pull through for him.

They support him with whatever they had and he was cured a year later until it hits him again but he fight that too, although it's harder since the news about him had already went out to the public at that time. Another year passed, but he still could do small fanmeets, interviews and not participating in world tours or stadium concerts. Even when he was well again, his health was still in very brittle condition and he was finally submitted to the hospital after they found him choking on his own vomit. He could still continue his treatment at home that time, but when his lung started to fail once more, he was quickly taken back to the hospital and he's been staying since then. 

Coming back to present time, roughly about eight months later, Jiyong groan at the soreness at his chest as he tried to sit up. Youngbae quickly put his phone down and helped him. "Good evening Jiyongie. Do you want me to call the doctor?". His bestfriend asks him softly, fluffing the pillow he had put behind his back. Jiyong shakes his head, sighing in relief when the soreness smoothed over. Seungri and Daesung quickly come to his bed, smiling widely as they saw him waking up. 

Jiyong returned their smiles, raising his pale hands to thread his finger through Seungri's hair, ignoring the way their maknae painfully closes his eyes and leaned closer into his touch. He knew well why Seungri had been incredibly touchy and clingy, it just that he doesn't like to acknowledge it. Looking back, he had lived up the entire three years that the doctor had told him he had left, and he had spent half of it being sick. He lived half of those years with his blood family so that he could spent the last bits of it with his band family. 

Seungri moved closer to him, and the warm skins against his cold ones make him feels emotional. He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to downplay the burning sensation that began to grow at the back of his eyes. The room was filled with silences as he put his arm around Seungri as he bought the boy closer to him. He press his lips on Seungri's forehead and then, he buried his nose onto Seungri's hairs. He kept his eyes close, even when he felt his tears had already flowed out. There isn't anything to cried about because Jiyong had already accepted his slow death and he usually brush it off, but then...as times goes by, the emotion gets too heavy for him to just shove it away. No matter how he told himself that he was ready, but at the end of the day, he was still so scared. 

Quiet sniffles filled the room not long after that. Youngbae was crying quietly and decided it to leave the room for a while and Seunghyun took his place shortly after that. He saw how Seunghyun was holding back his own tears, but he still stood there with a box of tissue in his hand as he took one and pressed it gently on Jiyong's cheek. Daesung rest his forehead on Jiyong's shoulder, his whole body was shaking with silent tears. 

"I'm s - sorry," He said, barely pushing through the lump at the back of his throat. Seungri shook his head and leans closer onto him, flinching when Jiyong started to cough. They back off immediately, letting Seunghyun to grab the oxygen mask and place it on Jiyong's mouth, not missing the fact how his hands were shaking when he does that. Spots of blood appeared on the mask and they started to panic, knowing that blood was never a good sign. Daesung immediately pressed the doctor button and rushed outside to get Youngbae. 

Seungri kept calling his name, sobbing when Jiyong suddenly lunged forward, ripping the needles off from his arms and causing the restrains holding the tube on his chest falls off. Youngbae and Daesung barged into the room and rushed to him, but they steps aside when the doctor rushed in, asking them to get out for him to treat Jiyong. Youngbae and Daesung complied quietly while Seunghyun groans as he tore Seungri away from Jiyong, pushing him out the room. 

They waited outside Jiyong's room for about thirty minutes before the nurses walk out, some got blood on their white uniforms but they didn't get the chance to ask. When the doctor stepped outside, only then they notice how exausted the half aged man looked. They stood up and walk toward him nonetheless. 

"He's stable now. The machine wasn't the fluids out from his lungs which had caused the attack." He said. 

"Then why did you put that machine inside there?!". Seunghyun losses it, his face scarlet with anger. "We paid you a good money for it, only to be receiving this kind of ty treatment! You better be careful next time or I swear-"

"Hyung, calm down." Youngbae put his hand on the oldest shoulder and nodded to the doctor to start explaining. 

"It was working prefectly fine until now and it is new. But we have replace it with new one and I've ordered the staff to check on each of these machine and make sure that this mistake didn't happen twice."

Seunghyun scoffed and was about to retort but restrained himself when Youngbae place a hand on his shoulder, clenching his jaw when he heard the younger muttered a "Thank you" to the doctor. 

The doctor nodded and added, "it's also best if you head home, visiting hours had long end and he won't be waking up for another twelve hours or so." They've already used to being removed from Jiyong's room and honestly, they had given up fighting. With frowns on their faces, they return back to the dorm for that day. 

*

When Jiyong wakes up, he saw his bestfriend smiling down to him. "Hey buddy." Jiyong grinned weakly and raised his hand for a fist bump. 

"Youngbae-ah," he whispered, closing his eyes for a moment as he took a deep breath. 

"How are you feeling now? The doctor said you have a cough attack yesterday." Youngbae asked and Jiyong only nodded. His eyes grew bigger as he remembered who's inside the room with him that time. 

"Youngbae-ah," his called, voice all raspy and weak. "Where are them? W...where is Seungri? Hyung and Dae?". His elbow sinking into the mattress as he tried to push himself up.

"Calm down Ji, they're still at the dorm, that's all," Youngbae said and soothed his bestfriend back. Jiyong nodded and settled back onto his bed, not knowing what else to say after that. 

"When...When I die," Youngbae breathe in deeply. "can...can you take care of the rest?". Youngbae gulped the lump at the back of his throat and nodded shakily. "Es...especially Seungri. Please take care of him...don't...don't sugarcoated it though.... I want him to m...move on."

"Isn't it a bit too early to say that?", Youngbae chuckled, brushing away the tears on his eyes with the heels of his palm. 

"It would be three years ago," Jiyong smiled, a gallow humor that Youngbae couldn't even bring himself to go along with. He stared at Jiyong's face. "I'm scared Bae," Jiyong said. His voice was so soft it barely even a whispers. "I am so scared of th...this reality." 

Youngbae shakily nodded as he stands up and wrap his arm around Jiyong's shoulder. "I know," he said, placing his chin on Jiyong's head. It hurts because he was can't make any of this better for Jiyong. He was so scared of losing his bestfriend, his brother and losing the smiles that only Jiyong could bring to their band. He was scared of the truth too. He hugs Jiyong tighter and cries with him. 

*

It was raining again when Jiyong wakes up. 

He smiles at the sound of gentle tapping against his window. Seungri was by his side this time, snuggling with his panda plushie as he scrolls through his phone. Jiyong calls for his maknae and Seungri immediately puts down his phone and turn his full attention to his dear hyung. "Hey hyung," he whispered, aware than everyone inside the room was still sleeping. 

Jiyong asks him for water and Seungri gladly offer him a bottle. The youngest unscrew the lid and carefully helped Jiyong to drink. 

"Maknae-ah, did I ever told you how much I love it when it's raining?". Jiyong asks as he point to the window, the view of the gloomy days and tree swaying displayed in front of them. Seungri shakes his head and waits for Jiyong to continue, glad to hear his voice again. "M..most people were upset when it's raining...since they can't go..out."

Seungri smiled and asks him to go further. "But it...it isn't like that at all. My mom said...rain brings lifes to the earth. It brings happiness and even after it ends, there's always a r...rainbow."  Jiyong murmured, still staring at the window. 

"That's a nice way of seeing it, I love it hyung." Seungri replied, giggling at the little story. 

"Seungri-ah...can I be your rain?". A little bit too late Jiyong said, and Seungri smiles falters. His fingers finds Jiyong's and he genlty intertwined theirs together. 

"Why hyung?", Seungri asked. "Do you want me to be your earth?". He tried to smiles, although his voice began to crack somewhere along the lines. 

"No...but be happy...like the earth when it received rain." Jiyong added, lifting his shaky fingers to point at the window. Seungri followed his finger and feels the lump at the back of his throat as he stares at the clouded glass, his breath shaky as he turned back to Jiyong. 

"I promise." Said Seungri. 

"We all do."

They both turned their head to the voice. Youngbae was leaning forward on his spot on the couch, his elbow resting on his knees as he smiles at both of them. Seunghyun and Daesung walk towards them and they stood and each side of their leader's bed, both smiling warmly to Jiyong. Youngbae was the last one to walk to them and he settled down on the other side of Jiyong bed.

He took Jiyong's hand in his and he squeeze it gently. "It's okay Jiyongie... you've been fighting to get better all these time. We understand and we want you to know that it's okay if you want to leave. We understand Jiyongie..." Youngbae said softly. Jiyong nodded, feeling his own tears swell when he looked at his brother's face.

"Thank you for giving me the best years of my life..." Jiyong whispers. "I love you all."

He heard Seungri shuttered breathing as the youngest quickly grab his hand and place his forehead on it. "Wait hyung...n..not yet."

Jiyong wants to laugh at the contrast of his words and Youngbae's but he just grin and whispered. "You'll be good Maknae." And then he closes his eyes, letting himself falls back to sleep with the sick noise of whimpers and cries...but oddly enough, he feels at peace.