"Seungri, wait.. please, we need to talk". Jiyong grab the maknae by his wrist and turn him around. 

"What?!". Seungri yelled as he snatched his hand away from Jiyong's hold. "Don't you had enough messing things up?". 

Jiyong had to hold himself back because no matter how irritated he felt right now, deep inside he know that he deserve this. He know it. If only he didn't go to out clubbing that night, the picture won't leak to the media and he won't be in this kind of mess. 

"Look, I know that it's all my fault and I'll do anything to make it up for you but please... don't ignore me." Jiyong said and he don't care how pathetic he sounded that time.

Seungri didn' say anything and Jiyong took the chance to look at him. The maknae look like he had gone through hell and back. His eyes were swollen from too much crying and lack of sleep, he look lethargic and now, tears were starting to leak out from the corner of  his brown eyes. 

Jiyong's heart swell with guilt and he felt like he's drowning in it. "Seungri - ah..." He said, reaching for the younger hand but before he could, Seungri step away. 

He watch as his lover braced himself, hanging his head low to hide his tears away. "You stupid! Stupid man. Always with your excuses... always taking things for granted." Seungri said and Jiyong wish he can do something more than just standing there. 

 "I'm sorry. Please, forgive me." He said quietly as he step closer and Seungri took this chance to grab Jiyong by his shirt. 

Jiyong saw Seungri raised his fist toward him but still, he let it land on him. If there's anything he could do to make Seungri feel better, this could be it. 

"You cheated on me! You didn't even text me or pick up my calls for god sake! You left me wondering where on earth you couldn've been and now, you tell me you're sorry?!". Seungri cried as he hit Jiyong's chest. "Do you ever know how hard it was for me? When I saw your pictures with those girls? You look so happy while I'm getting depressed over you... do you even love me hyung?"

Seungri yelled died down into a sobs and he stop hitting Jiyong. He felt like all his strenght left him and what remain is only dissapointment. He loved this man with all he had, he had give his all when Jiyong ask but then, at the end... Jiyong always manage to hurt him. Jiyong didn't contact him for god know how long and when he did, he always make excuse to hung up the call. Seungri thought that he was busy and then, the picture came out.. along with the rumors of the leader seeing someone else.

Jiyong act like he don't care anymore about the younger so why do he come back now. Seungri cried on Jiyong chest, clutching the leader's shirt as he do so.

"I'm tired hyung... I'm tired of having to constantly telling myself to beleive in you, to fight for you while you never care about me. Please, if you don't love me anymore... just let me go."

Jiyong face paled as he heard the word coming out from Seungri' mouth. He admit that he wanted to be free. When Seungri was away, he felt lonely and he felt its not fair if it just him to feel that way. He let his emotion control him and turn him to be wreckless.

He thought that he'll be fine without Seungri, he thought that he'll be happy but then, when Seunghyun come barging into his room one day and punch  the truth out of his drunken self, he realize that how wong he was. That boy is his everything. Seungri was about to turn away and leave but Jiyong quickly grabbed him, pulling him into a long awaiting hug.

"Let go of me Jiyong!". Seungri struggled, trying to push himself away as he continue hitting the leader's chest. 

"No, I won't." Jiyong said, tightening his grip around his maknae. "I'm sorry but I'll never let you go Ri." 

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Only at time like this did Jiyong finally understand what Youngbae meant by saying forgiveness is expensive and sorry is cheap. In fact, it can't be bought no matter how much money you got in your bank. Well, not like he expected Seungri to just forgive him after what had happen. It's his fault so he's not complaining when the maknae treat him like he's invisible in that room. At least, Seungri didn't kick him out. 

Jiyong sit quietly on his side of the bed as he glance at his young lover, who now sitting at the other side of the room, looking so infatuated with whatever he's viewing on his laptop. It had been like that since the day Jiyong apologize. Seungri still talk when he ask but it's nothing more than that. Jiyong thought he should give Seungri time but it's getting unbearable for him. 

Jiyong set his phone on the nightstand as he stood up and walk toward Seungri. He take a deep breath as he takes his place beside the maknae. As usual the maknae didn't react much to him, unlike how he used to be before.

"Seungri." He said, staring at his boyfriend. 

"Hey hyung.." Said Seungri without even turning at him. Jiyong wish Seungri nonchalant voice wasn't there. 

"What are you doing?". He choose to swallow the bitterness he felt and try to make a conversation with the maknae. 

"Work, as usual." Seungri said shortly, eyes still glued on the laptop screen.

"Is it about your academy?." He ask and the maknae just reply with short nod. Jiyong want to say something but before he could, Seugri cut him off first.

"You can sleep first if you're tired. I'm kinda busy." Jiyong couldn't say anything after that since it's obvious that Seungri tried to shun him away. 

He waited for Seungri to say anything but then, seeing how infatuated thay boy look with his laptop, Jiyong gave up. 

"Good night baby, I love you always..." He said, pressing a soft kiss on Seungri's head and he rose from the seat and walk toward the bed. He wanted to fall asleep fast so that he can forget the bitterness he felt right now... the bitterness when Seungri didn't kiss him back or even say that he loves him too. 

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

'How long you're going to ignore me Ri?'. 

Jiyong wake up broken hearted when his arm touch the cold side of their bed. Just like yesterday and the morning before, Seungri always leave before he wake up... hell, Jiyong didn't even think that the maknae sleep with him anymore. 

He pull his leg to the side of the bed, staring at the room he used to call Seungri and his sanctuary. It was used to be filled with happiness, warmth but now, it look shabby.. pathetic even. It hurt so much when Seungri treats him like this but then, he's not in the place to complain either. This is what he deserve for hurting Seungri. If only he could turn back time...

Jiyong sighed heavily as he pick himself up from the bed. He felt lightheaded for a moment and had to hold the nightstand to keep himself from falling. His vision only came back a moment later and although he felt weird, he shrug it off... assuming that maybe he'd been sitting too long. 

The whole morning passed in a bit of blur for him. He'd make breakfast but he don't feel like eating so he ended up with a cup of black coffee. Seungri used to nag him about filling his empty stomach with caffein and nothing else but now, Jiyong thought the maknae didn't barely care. 

Jiyong tried to not let that thought consume him. Of course Seungri would still care about him... it just that, he's upset right now. He put the empty cup inside the sink and glance at his wrist watch. It almost past noon and he guess, Seungri would come home in a bit. 

He glance around the empty kitchen. Well, it's not like he had anything important to do right now, so he might as well prepared lunch or dinner or whatever for his lover. Maybe Seungri heart will soften a bit after he ate the leader home cooking. Seungri love the foods he made afterall.

Jiyong open the fridge to see various of unused ingredient. Their manager help them to stock the foods up since they didnt have enough time to do it on their own. He took what he recognize and set it down on the counter. There's meat, some vegetables, eggs and whatever.. he wonder what he can make with these... well, considering that he don't know how to cook at all.

Oh well, he goes to one of the drawer and pull out a cooking book that Seungri owns. When he read the recepies, he ensure himself that cooking is not that hard. Well, sort of since what you have to do is follow the instruction.. but then, Jiyong is a rebel, so instruction and him would never get along. 

The leader then grab a knive and start cutting all the ingridient. He keep glancing at the book to make sure that he did it right and he never know that cutting meats could be this hard. Out of nowhere, he felt like his vision turn blurry. He shake his head but it remain the same only now that he felt his head start to feel heavy. He felt his somewhere on his hand throbbing and something flowing on it that it felt warm but he can't see well. It feel like the kitchen is spinning around in one slow motion and he felt like he can't hang on it anymore.

"HYUNGG!"

Come a voice, pulling him out from what seems like a black black hole. The voice is sweet but right now it sounded shocked and terrified. Wait, why does it sound like that?. He tries to look at the person and it was Seungri. He look terrified and he's running toward him. 

"Oh my god! Hyung! What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to kill yourself?". 

Jiyong feel Seungri touch him for the first time since the argument. Seungri hold him and even though Jiyong's felt like his vision turn blurry, it was still the happiest moment in his life. How long it have been since he felt this kind of happiness? Jiyong caught a glimpse of Seungri face and then, everything turn black.

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The first colour Jiyong sees when he open his eyes is white. He heard the faint sound of something beeping beside him, voices which becomes clearer as time goes by. He struggle to open his eyes and god, he felt like . Everything hurt and his memory about what had happened before he faint is still hazy but his mind still remember this one person. His lover, Seungri. With difficulty he push himself up with his palm, though he felt another hand on his arm, helping him to sit leaned agaisnt the pillow. It's the nurse. She told him something but he couldn't hear it clearly though.

He look around and his eyes stop at the person standing not far from him, talking about something with the doctor and once in a while they would glance at him. Jiyong wait patiently until there's only them left in the room, and until Seungri walks to him. He stares down to his hand as Seungri pulls the cair and sit beside his bed. None of them talk and Jiyong feel burdened by the silence as time goes by. He wanted to say something but word just fail him. The guilt and shame inside of him had stop him from doing so.

"The doctor said you need to rest for about a week or so." Seungri said after a while and Jiyong lift his head up to look at the younger. However, Seungri is peeling an apple but Jiyong know what the younger just wanted to avoid eye contact.

He decided to remain silent because , he's worried that his word might send Seungri away. He know that the maknae still mad at him at yet, he still here. It make him wonder what on earth he had done to deserve Seungri. However, the silences become unbearable as time pass by and Jiyong feels like he can't take it anymore. He need to know if there is still a chance for him. 

"Seungri ah". He said quietly but Seungri didn't act like he heard his voice, so he called him again, a bit louder than the first time. He was thinking to reach for Seungri's hands after a while but then, Seungri opens his mouth after the long silence. 

"The doctor said you faint because of fatigue, because you didn't feed yourself properly these days... do you know how terrified I was Jiyong? The moment I saw you there, with hand full of blood, I thought you want to kill yourself!" Seungri snapped at him but calm down instantly as he remember where they are right now. "Really Jiyong, this time... I really don't know what to think anymore".

Jiyong stare at his lover wordlessly. Seungri looked like he would break down any moments and all of this is his fault, and now, the thought of holding Seungri make him feels embarassed. All he can do is stares down to his finger. It starts to feel like nothing he could do to fix this. Seungri sounded tired, hopeless and despondent and he feel worst, since its all caused by him.

"I'm sorry" He said, voice heavy with guilt but Seungri didn't say anything and he guess, this is it. The end of what they had. "I understand Ri". He try to say it but it feels like the lump at the back of his throat is holding the words in. "I'm sorry". He repeated himself. "I understand if you want all this to stop. I know after what I've done to you.." He can't say it afterall and he hope that Seungri understand what he wanted to say. 

"What?". Seungri is baffled and Jiyong look at him, with his eyes already glistened in tears.

"Break up".  Jiyong swallow the lump at the back of his throat and he open his mouth again. "If you want to break up with me. I'll accept it Seungri. After what  I've done to you, certainly you wanted a-"

" you Kwon Jiyong!" Jiyong is suprised when Seungri suddenly snapped at him but he feel out of place when he sees fresh tears streaming diwn the younger face, He don't understand but his heart breaks upon seeing it. "I know that I shouldn't be with an like you. It was your fault since the beginning and now, you want to break up with me? You want to leave me?".

Jiyong is taken aback by the sudden outburst. He had never thought of leaving Seungri, but he had caused him so much pain so he thought that it was what Seungri want. "I didn't mean to-"

"I never want to break up with you Jiyong, even after what you've done but I need time to think, to accept you back as the man I'm in love with but you always go and make assumption on your own without considering how I feel. I love you bastard! I don't want a break up. Why can't you understand me?.. fine then, if break up is what you want then-"

Seungri didn't get to finish what he said when Jiyong lean forward and press their lips together and after he's sure that Seungri had calm down, he pulled away. "I'm sorry". He breathe out. "I never wanted this to happen. I didn't know that I am hurting you like this Ri. Its my fault that I can't understand you... if I know, I wouldn't say something so stupid". He swallowed as he stares deep into Seungri's eyes, hoping that Seungri could see that he really meant what he said. 

The younger didn't say anything instead he gathered Jiyong into his arm and Jiyong didn't think twice to wrap his arm around Seungri. He place his head on Seungri's shoulder and his cheeks brushed against Seungri's. "I never want to lose you either... but after what I've done to you, why would you still want me?". and then, he pressed his face on the crook of Seungri's neck. He's afraid to learn the answer but deep down, he know Seungri won't hurt him. 

He sighed when he feel Seungri's hand at the back of his head, caressing his hairs gently. Oh how he missed Seungri's touches. "Because I'm a fool like that... or maybe because I've love you so much that I had lost my reasoning". 

"You make it sound awfull". He said softly, still nuzzling against Seungri's skin. "But trust me when I'm said that I'm sorry. I will never do anything to make you feel like that anymore Ri". 

He pulled away unwillingly when Seungri didn't say anything. "I won't expect you to fogive me this quick though" and he move his thumb to wipe off the remaining tears on his lover's face. "It won't be fair for you... So, I guess, I have to win you all over again". 

This time Seungri lift his head and now, his brown eyes is full of Jiyong. "It wo't be easy, I have to admit". He said and Jiyong feel a little tinge in his heart but he had expected this. At least, Seungri is being honest. 

"I love challenge". He smiled "as long as you let me, I'll improve my words to you. Now, would you let me to do that love?". 

Seungri's lips curled upward as he looked at Jiyong. He can't deny it that he hasn't forgive Jiyong completely but as long as they're willing to try, he don't see why he can't allow Jiyong to do that. "You can starts by treating me a new wardrobe. I need new cloths". 

"Is that it?". Jiyong laughed and Seungri feel at ease as he hear how light it sounds. "I thought it'll be harder than that". 

"Oh, and I want to drive your car and unlimited time to go clubbing with my friends and- " Seungri blinked when Jiyong silenced him once again with a kiss. 

"I'll give you everything". Jiyong murmured as he lean on Seungri's forehead. "As long as you loved me back". and Seungri is caught when Jiyong stares into his eyes. 

"You have my everything as long as you take care of it". Seungri said and he pull Jiyong back into his arm. 

"I promise". Jiyong sighed and nuzzeled into Seungri's shoulder. He is relieved that he could feel Seungri's relaxation and letting him to have some, thanks to it. He still think that it'll be a long way before he could regain back all of Seungri's trusts on him but right now, there isn't anything much to say. He just want to feel Seungri warmth against his own and he keep his promise that he'll be a better person for Seungri love, to prove that he won't ever do the same mistakes that he had done.

This is actually a chapter that was supposed to be a continuation of '10 Things boyfriends should do', from chapter 12 but when this is halfway done, I think that the plot was too cliche so I put it in draft and write the continuation as you've red in chapter 13. I read it again today and I thought it'll be a waste if I just deleted it. So I continue.. it's not great but this is better than just deleting it. I could never write a same story twice. Anyway, i hope u liked it. ^^