Chapter 33

Donghae felt like he was frozen over. Sara was sitting between himself and Sungmin.

He glanced at her as she spoke confidently into her microphone. To anyone else, she looked like a strong young woman, not afraid to speak her mind.

He focused on her words. She was recalling her first meeting with Super Junior to the reporters. She was telling them about the day she had met him, but the entire story was far from the truth. She smiled as she told everyone how good and professional he had been. 

He felt awful as he returned her smile, and followed along with her story when the questions turned to him.

He slowly reached out towards her hand under the table, but stopped when he glanced down and saw someone else’s hand in hers already.

Sara was holding on to Sungmin’s hand tightly as she spoke.

Donghae clenched his fist and looked back up. The conference would be over soon, and he would get to talk to Sara at the dinner party afterwards.

Sara let out a sigh of relief when the conference ended. She was happy to be over with it.

She saw Heechul walking towards her as everyone made their way to the next room for the formal dinner.

“It’s now or never.” She said to herself. She had decided that, regardless of who she had kissed that night, she was going to go with her feelings at this moment in time, and just confess to the person whom she liked.

Before Sungmin could leave, she quickly tugged onto his sleeve and pointed down to a note she had written.

Sungmin took the note, and skimmed over it.

“Oppa, I need to talk to you about something. Meet me in the hallway after dinner ok?”

Sungmin smiled and nodded, then followed the others as they left.

Heechul took his place next to her, and then whispered. “Did you tell him?”

The dinner was enjoyable, but now the after party was in full swing. Sara tried, but couldn’t find Sungmin in the crowd of dancing people.

Heechul had been pulled off by someone that he knew, so Sara just sat on a nearby sofa for a breather.

“Sara.” A soft voice called out.

Sara looked towards the voice, and recognised Donghae as he sat down.

“I need to talk to you. Meet me outside in a few minutes ok? Don’t follow straight away. There are too many reporters around.” He said quietly.

Sara nodded slightly, and then watched as he left. It was finally time to come face to face with Donghae.

He was waiting for her.

Sara took in her surroundings and noticed that nobody else was there.

The corner of Donghae’s lips moved upwards as he gave a slight smile.

“Thanks for coming.” He said.

Sara breathed in slowly as she neared him. “You wanted to see me?” She asked as she rested her hands onto the railing.

Donghae turned towards her and said hesitatingly after a few moments. “I...I don’t know where to start.”

Sara looked down at her hands and said “You don’t have to say anyth...”

“Yes I do.” Donghae replied quickly as he cut her off.

Sara lifted her head and met his gaze. His brows were furrowed, and he was biting his lips. He bowed his head, and then said:

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I hurt you. But I know that even if I say this a thousand times over, it won’t be enough.” He looked at Sara and continued:

“Ever since I found out that you were the model from that day, my mind has been in a total mess. I hate myself even more than I did back then...” Donghae stopped speaking as his voice broke.

“Donghae...its ok.” Sara said as she reached out to him in concern.

“No! You don’t understand.” He said in anguish.

“I was in hell back then! In those first few weeks after I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, I was mad at everyone! But you...you were the one who pulled me out of it.”

“I...did? How?” Sara was transfixed by the tears in his eyes. She couldn’t look away.

“Just by being there.” He said as he took her hand in his.

“That one week that you spent in our dorm was the happiest time that I’d ever had.”

Sara felt herself being close to tears. Donghae was actually this type of person. He was someone who kept his feelings hidden, and took out his frustrations on himself.

“What makes this all worse, is that I’ve been planning to tell you something for quite a while now. But seeing as how awful I’ve been to you, I don’t expect any positive reply, but I’m going to tell you anyway.” He said.

“I like you.”

Sara felt like she was struck by lightning.

“I’m not even worthy enough to like you, but I do. Sara, please forgive me.”

Sara felt all of her defences crumbling in the face of his sincerity.

He was searching her face for an answer, but she couldn’t give it. She thought back to the week that she had spent with the members in the dorm. Donghae had always been by her side. She had just never allowed herself to open up to him.

“I...I’m not mad at you Donghae, and I forgave you a long time ago.” Sara said softly.

Donghae’s smile of relief was overwhelming. He pulled her into a hug and held onto her tightly.

“I promise I won’t ever hurt you again, and I’m sorry for the other night. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have confessed to you first.”

Sara pulled apart slightly and asked “You shouldn’t have done what...?”

Realisation slowly dawned on her as she looked at him. He was still holding onto her, and his embrace felt strangely familiar.

“Donghae, were you the one I kissed that night?”

He nodded, and slowly brought his head closer.

“I won’t do it again unless you let me.” He said.

Sara was shocked. But she couldn’t deny the nervous anticipation that was going through her body as he rested his forehead against hers.

“Sara.” he whispered.

A single tear fell down Sara’s face as Donghae kissed her ever so softly.

He pulled back, and gently brushed the tear off her cheek.

They were still looking at each other when someone called out.

“Sarang-ah?”

Sara turned her face away from Donghae, and saw Heechul. But her eyes moved past him to Sungmin, who was standing a few steps away from Heechul.

The expression on Sungmin’s face was unreadable. He didn’t say a thing, but simply turned and walked away.

Sara felt her insides turn to ice. Sungmin had seen her with Donghae.

He had seen her...