beta Thanks to aenkr28

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Chapter 35

Did he really want to speak to them, he stared at them waiting for one of them to make the first move but nothing came, they were probably waiting on him to speak. Yunho was correct in saying what he was feeling, what he wanted from them but nothing came. But sometimes what you want you can’t have… he knew that. He bit his bottom lips looking at either for them, his lip quivering with things he wanted to say but nothing left his lip or his parent so he turned and walked back into his room, closing the door softly behind him before he slid down the door holding himself.

“Where do we begin?” Heechul muttered as his husband gave his shoulder a light squeeze.

“Come on a night rest will make everything clear in the morning.” Siwon hoped, he looked to his son door his courage escaping him, and he was suppose to be the adult yet he couldn’t bring himself to face his fifteen years old son. He had asked himself question, questions Jaejoong might ask when the time came, but he knew… when the time came, his mind would go blank no preparing in the world could allow him to have the correct answer to give the right answer his son wanted to hear. What they answer to what his son wanted to know? He doesn’t know.

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They didn’t sleep that night it was impossible, it had just gone two in the morning when they heard the sound of the door open, Heechul leaned up on his elbows looking toward their son as he approached them. It must have taken everything for him to step inside that room. “Jae…” He called out softly. It was like Heechul’s word had a strong impulse of him he made his way onto the centre of the bed between them both. Heechul placed his hand on Jaejoong’s back as he lay down between them, a warm touch full of love. He didn’t need to turn on the light to know his son was crying, his built up emotions where now been release. How long he wonder had Jaejoong kept everything inside?

“I’m s-sorry…”

“I d-don’t need to hear that!” Jaejoong voice sound weak in comparison to how he usually spoke to them. “I don’t need to hear anything, just let me stay here.” Heechul and Siwon gazed at one another for a split second before giving all their attention to their son. Siwon brushed Jaejoong’s hair from him face out of his eye a glimmer of tears, the image of a small Jaejoong popped into his mind a little boy not far from what he looked like now. It hurts him to see Jaejoong like this, he felt he had let him down as a parent he wanted to fix everything. A little bit inside his heart melted seeing his son between them. It didn’t matter to them adoption or not he is their son and nothing would change that, even with ill comment said.

“We’re here Jaejoong, whenever you want to talk.” His father told him. Jaejoong didn’t talk but the muffled sound of his tears were heard by both his parents thought he did his best to suppress them, both of them doing their best to give Jaejoong the reassurance they though he needed.  “Jaejoong honey you will always be are son, we really did want to tell you. We did, we never planned to keep it from you.” It was the truth. “I know I hurt you today, and believe me when I tell you I’m truly sorry.” Heechul wiped Jaejoong’s tears, it was a good part of a hour before he feel asleep between them, not a word shared to either of them Heechul and Siwon couldn’t take their eyes of him.

“I really did it this time.”

“Heechul, we’ll sort it out.”

“How… just look at what I caused?” his voice slightly went up a notch and down again as his son turned in his sleep. Heechul repeated his words, “I’m sorry Jaejoong I’m truly sorry for what I did earlier my emotion took the better of me, but that no excuse for how I acted I know that and I’m sorry. It’s because I love you it make me lose my head sometimes I hope you can forgive me.” Heechul realised how much his action this morning affected Jaejoong. Heechul leaned in closer to Jaejoong frame hugging him as he slept. Heechul and Siwon talked over Jaejoong that night, it wasn’t until they where fifteen minutes into dosing off did they turn to their son as he trashed around in his sleep, Siwon was the first to react, “Jaejoong!” He called out shaking him awake. “Jaejoong it’s only a nightmare.” It wasn’t until they the light did the see a scrapped mark running down the side of his face, Heechul pulled Jaejoong hand back, stopping him from doing anymore damage. “Jaejoong… Wake up…” with that Jaejoong shot up from the bed doing his best to scramble to his feet fright could be seen in his eyes, Siwon was about to engulfed his arms around Jaejoong when Jaejoong panicked.

“I want to go home… I want to go home… leave me alone!” Heechul and Siwon looked to one another “Help me I don’t want this… Hyung help me. Please don’t…” Jaejoong hit the floor awake.

“Calm down it’s us, you home you’re safe,” Heechul knelt down beside him as Siwon turn into his chest. “It’s okay.” But Siwon’s words didn’t seem to reach him as Jaejoong did this and it hurt him to hear Jaejoong fear coming through. He was rocking side to side within his father hold his breathing becoming more laboured with each second past his father held his hands together stopping him from pulling away all they could do was wait until he calmed himself down, “I have an idea,” Heechul left returning with a tabby cat. “She helped last time… Look Jaejoong, look at us,” Heechul spoke calmly allowing his voice to reach Jaejoong’s ear, “Please Choi Jaejoong,” Jaejoong stopped moving he relaxed his body, his head leaning against his father’s chest. Siwon released Jaejoong hands. “Jaejoong.” His mother called as Jaejoong grasped his head between his hands his legs coming in closer in a perfective manner. His breathing was ragged and his hand began to tremble. U-Umma, A-appa.

“Hm what is it Jae?” Heechul asked in his panic yet calming motherly nature as he knelt beside him as Jaejoong held onto his father t-shirt looking for comfort, “Talk to us Jae, tell us what’s wrong? Tell us so we can help you.”

“Why me?” Jaejong sobbed, whimpering when his mind ramble on with images of what happen, random images of his abuse formulated in his mind, “Why did they do that to me?” He broken his silence, “What did I do to them that made them hate me so much… why?” tears fell from his dark doe eyes. Jaejoong had very spoken about what happened, though Heechul and Siwon did their best to get him to. Now it seem that Jaejoong couldn’t hold it back any longer it had become too great for him to hold. “Jaejoong can’t you just tell us what happened?” His father told him, “Stop hiding it from us.” Siwon figured it was time they really listen to Jaejoong. Heechul looked as his son with a consoling smile, he blamed himself. Heechul slender fingers went under Jaejoong’s chin turning him to look at him, “Jaejoong please, you can’t hide everything from us forever. Don’t you see it eating you up in side? Open up to us, I know there something on your chest that it’s so deep it scares you to tell us. But we’re your parents, please I beg you as your mother stop hiding and talk to us, talk to me Jaejoong, I can’t take it anymore we can’t!” he looked to his husband, “Your pain, share it with us…”

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truths are about to be relieveled hope you can wait

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