Beta thanks to Aenkr28

Chapter 46

Frustrations build up inside of Yunho he didn’t know what to do with himself, his heart was torn apart and his head couldn’t wrap itself around what he had just hear not in so many words. How was this fair? He asked,Jaejoong was sixteen years old. How much did he have to go through? He wanted to shout out, but all he could do was try and calm down. Yunho didn’t make it far he leaned against the wall behind him, and buried his face, in his hands. This can’t be true… he told himself, but every time he had seen Jaejoong, he got angry. Leukaemia… what an awful disease. He crushed before shouting, “Hasn’t he been dealt with enough he’s been sick since he was ing 4 years old a baby at that. Why wouldn’t it just go away?” His heart beat faster as the thoughts made him angry.

“WHY THE did it have to happen to him?” He shouted. His heart felt pain just as he was about to walk away, all the strength in his body was suddenly gone, and he didn’t know what to do with himself. He leaned back his head and let it rest against the wall, trying to calm his breath. He closed his eye and allowed picture of Jaejoong flow into his head their first date, the first time they held hand and first kiss, He clenched his eyes, and tightened his fist.

He started hammering the wall. He had to let it out before long his eyes started watering, even though he tried to fight it, he knew it couldn’t be helped… he pounded the wall hard he didn’t feel pain in fact he felt completely numb inside. It took him a while to realise he wasn’t actually hitting the wall anymore. He looked up his father was standing in front of him allowing him to pound on his chest. Suddenly his body gave up Yunho couldn’t hold it back anymore his legs became jelly. He then fell to the ground and started crying…

“!” He yelled out as he allowed himself to cry, his hand was bleeding but he didn’t care… he just want to take Jaejoong away from all this pain. Kangin placed his arm around his son. He didn’t care if Yunho said every crush word in the dictionary. He figured Yunho had a right. He had a few of his own phase in mind. Kangin knew what Jaejoong meant to his son and to them. He knew it would be hard but it would get harder, he hoped Yunho would be able to deal with it. Help Jaejoong through this hard time. As much as they felt lost, it must be ten times worse for Jaejoong.

“You have to be strong Yunho strong for Jaejoong…” Yunho fought every tears, every sort of pain, he had to stay strong his father was right. “Yunho cry it out, I don’t care, don’t bottle anything up, I’m your father Yunho, and I want you to know I’m here for you.”

“Appa what are they going to do?” Yunho asked he needed to understand. Kangin thought about it. “They probably discuss Jaejoong’s opinion; start him on Chemotherapy, while they tried to find a match…”

“Can I match?” Yunho asked. “Appa I wanted to be tested.”

“Yunho…”

“I’m serious, Appa. I need to do something.” Kangin knew Yunho wouldn’t, their blood types are different. “We’ll talk about it later come on…Let go home.”

“Appa, I need to see him.”

“Yunho…”

“Please he’ll need me please…” Yunho asked his father.

“Fine you better hope they let us in.” They made it back to the house Yunho stay outside while Kangin went in to the house and explain to Leeteuk he was taking Yunho to the hospital to see Jaejoong. They were given 10 minutes. Kangin knocked on the door before going in Heechul and Siwon were there, they hadn’t left him, not that night. Heechul smiled at Yunho, “I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you.”

Kangin looked at Siwon and Heechul both looked worse for ware but who would blame them. “How are you guys?”

“We’ve been better.” The three of them watched from the door as Yunho walked softly over to Jaejoong, Yunho took hold of Jaejoong’s hand and kissed it before whispering something only Jaejoong could hear before he kiss Jaejoong against only this time he got a kiss returned Jaejoong kissed his forehead.

“What time do you call this?” He laughed. Yunho heart act… “Hey don’t be sad, I’ve already cried my entire tears.” Jaejoong cupped Yunho hand. “I’m going home tomorrow.”

“Oh…”

“There starting Chemo on Monday so they want me to rest,” Jaejoong pouted, “Don’t look so glum, their already looking for a match.” Yunho didn't understand it Jaejoong was so calm.

“Jae… I’m going to get tested.”

“Yunho…”

“If it will help you, I don’t care. I’m going to get everyone I know to get tested. If I could save you, I would do it! I’m getting tested, and if I’m a match I’ll give you whatever you need.” He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on the younger boy’s lips, who blushed because his mom was standing right next to him. “Seriously do you boys ever stop with the lovely dovey.” Heechul was only teasing he told the brightness it brought to Jaejoong’s face. The room became silent, as Yunho wanted to stay, but that wasn’t happening he rested his head beside Jaejoong, Jaejoong brushing his hand through Yunho’s hair.

“I’m going to get a heavy dose of Chemo on Monday, I’m alittle scared…” He told Yunho. “I’m going to get really sick again, not to mention going to lose all my hair, I’m going to be come really ugly.” He laughed.

“You could never be ugly.” Yunho told him. "Not in my eyes.... or anyones

“Maybe Umma will let me dye it now.

"Dye What?"

I'm Hair silly......,Note to self-ask parents later about dyeing my hair.” Hearing Jaejoong’s laugh made Yunho relax even a little making him relax a little, but the thought of Jaejoong dying never left his mind. What was he going to do to save him? He didn’t know the answer… but he was willing to give anything a shot.

“You’d look great with red hair...”

“Would I? Maybe blond, but I hear that can be damaging,” Jaejoong laughed. “What do I care it going to fall out anyway it  will already be damaged.”

“Yunho, five more minutes, the nurse in the hall is looking at me with daggers.” Yunho’s father told him.

“I love you” Yunho whispered giving Jaejoong one last kiss.

“I love you too.” He left that night only to return in the morning, to bring Jaejoong home, Heechul and Siwon had even allowed him spend the night. Thought they were not allowed in the same bed. Having Yunho in the same house helped Jaejoong to eat, to rest to sleep before his treatment would start.

****

It was in the next few days the news was spread, even around their school their worst fears Jaejoong​’s cancer had come back he had leukaemia. When Monday rolled round Jaejoong prepared himself. He went to school a normal teenager but as he left, people stared and watched he became a person with cancer, a cancer patient. Many held pity in their eyes, No one knew what to say, but watched from a distance. Though Yunho and all his friend were beside him treating him normal their friend.  They started him on chemotherapy within days of been told Heechul and Yunho were going to the first one. When Monday rolled round Jaejoong held Yunho hand as they lead him into a room into a chair, he hate rooms like this they were depressing in any view, even when a nurse offered him kind word of support. All Jaejoong could think of was the bleak room… if he could he would have run. But they were there to encourage him through it. He was glad Yunho was there, it made him stop thinking about it for a time. Jaejoong looked at his mother and his boyfriend as he sat in a chair. Closing his eyes as the equipment was prepared beside him.

“Alright,” she muttered finishing her preparation. “This tube will contain the chemotherapy drug,” she told him as she inserted into his arm. “You may feel light headed or sick every person is different to the medication.” She looked at Jaejoong’s mother and at Yunho. “Aren’t you lucky two people to keep you company?” She smiled. “If you need anything call me with this, I’ll be here in second.”

“So, how does it feel?” Yunho asks, quickly Jaejooong smiled. He knew it would become painful, he didn’t want to share that with Yunho. The First wouldn't be that bad he told himself.

She showed Heechul and Yunho tissues and bags in case Jaejoong was sick. From the moment the needle went into his arm the room fell silent. He felt weak in seconds, but Yunho told him to close his eyes and imagine the chemo destroying the cancer cells leaving behind a healthy body. Jaejoong laughed at his own thought his thought’s turned to an image of a healthy vision of himself with Yunho happy talking and having fun together or with friends. They played board games a mild distraction to stop him from thinking was going into his views. This was going to be his life for the next while as they hope to find a match… Yunho was signed into get a blood test… His parents agreed but only after they discuss it with him. Telling him he would have to accept  what the out come was, hours after the liquid was completely in his vein. The nurse returned removing the needle telling him to not move around too much.

“How do you feel Jae?”

Terrible…

Jaejoong thought, he didn’t get to answer when the doctor came in sitting opposite them discussing the side effect and what to be prepared for. “You need to be aware of dizziness, nausea vomiting as all effect of this drug, it may destroy the cancer cell, but is also destroy some of your good.” He looked at Heechul when he spoke the rest, “Any extreme side effect blood lose not stopping anything at all bring him back in.” Heechul nodded.  Yunho helped Jaejoong to the car.

“What going on in your head?” Yunho asked him.

Jaejoong leaned back in the carseat. “Just thinking, Yun… this will be my life of the next while. Do you.....”

“And I’ll be there every step of the way…” Jaejoong hadn’t cried since his diagnosis, before yes after no his worse fear had already come truth. There was nothing else to cry about apart from watching the pain and pity his family and friend felt as they went through it with him. Jaejoong looked to Yunho how he never wanted Yunho to see these. But he was over Joyed Yunho  was there for his side.

***

Three times a week for 3 months chemotherapy would make Jaejoong sick. Someday he probably wouldn’t be even be able to get up out of bed, Yunho was with him for some of his session he could go to… some were during school so he couldn’t but that didn’t stop him texting Jaejoong. Silly quote telling him about things in school. He’d be hospitalised twice in the first month an infection… extreme vomiting side effect from the drug, His hair was begin to go thin but it was still early days. He was thin… Someday there was no brightness in his skin. When Yunho was with Jaejoong at the treatment he make him laugh… other times Yunho held Jaejoong when he cried in pain from when he was throwing up. They had been looking for a match for a month and still nothing had come…

The treatments felt painful since it’s been a while since he last had one. He grip onto his mother and father’s hand so hard, they knew Jaejoong was in pain. They asked the nurse could they give him something by the end Jaejoong grip became weak as the strength left his body. He felt so light, everything in his body feels liquidised; at some point nauseas over took him. He refuse to eat anything that day, he just wanted to sleep the pain away, in the end they pace him on a IV.

Hope…

That’s what they told them, Yunho had started something at school getting people to get tested. It was working people were doing it… the whole soccer team had got tested though none had matched so far. Junsu and Yoochun had an appointment booked too, Junsu had a really hard time trying to get his father to sign the consent paper. His mother on the other hand had sat down with him and discussed it before doing her own little research into it, looking at risk, but in the end agreed. She was glad her son was willing to do things like this for someone else. His mother told him he was brave. People at school couldn’t watch this without saying they were willing to get tested to. Most who got test had a close in counter, a relation with someone with or had cancer. Yunho figure the more that got test their was a better chance to find the right match for Jaejoong. The weaker Jaejoong got the more determine Yunho became.

We will find a match Jaejoong I know it!

As days went by Jaejoong became weaker; some days he just lies on his bed and stare at the light on the roof. It’s dimmed a little and when night approaches it become so dark. By that time his mother was in his room turning on the side lamp. Making sure Jaejoong at least ate something that day. He did feel thirsty his mother offered him a bottle with a straw, It was strawberry flavoured water but Jaejoong couldn't taste, it’s the chemo had destroyed his taste buds.

Afterwards Heechul feeds him soup; homemade soup full of everything Jaejoong needed in his body.

The next morning, Siwon took Jaejoong to the hospital for a few tests before the next chemo session. Jaejoong already look tired and his eyes had sunken, but he smiles the moment he seens Yunho waitng for him. “Your Appa said the tests went well.” Yunho helped him into one of the seat ready for Chemotherapy to start.”

“He did?” Jaejoong asked, Jaejoong didn’t remember the conversation between his father and the doctor, he was in a daze. Yunho didn’t let it faze him. He held Jaejoong’s hand giving it a kiss as the nurse approach. Swion not far away, watching his son.

That was one of the worst chemo session he had. He had to be place into a ward afterward as he was in so much pain, Yunho reassuringly holding his hand the whole time. He wished the warmth from his hand would have been  soothing, he tried to tell them he was alright, but his body gave it away as he cried out in pain. After a while he had no strength to stay awake... which was probably a good thing as in sleep he couldn't feel a thing. Siwon caresses his head until Jaejoong nodded off. He asked Yunho was he okay to stay with him while he call Heechul and let him know.  That night he had to stay in hospital when he awake it was in the middle if the night, his mother was there sleeping closely beside him. He looked at the other side of the room, Donghae was there too, on the sofa reading a book. Jaejoong thought it must have been late. Donghae looked up the moment Jaejoong call out for someone, though Jaejoong voice sounds so little, almost nothing. He approached him in an instant, asking how he was. 

“Water…” he manage through my dry throat. “Some water, Hyung…”

He offers a straw lifting his head so he can take some of the liquid into my dry throat, after he was done he helped Jaejoong lie back down.

“You should eat something…”

Jaejoong shook his head. “I feel dizzy…”

“You’ll feel better if we put something into your stomach… Umma brought some Yohurt.” Donghae rooted in a bag beside his mother waking him up. Donghae returned to Jaejoong and spooned the yoghurt into his mouth slowly waiting for Jaejoong to swallow, Heechul watch happy that there was something in Jaejoong’s stomach. It was important for them to keep Jaejoong strength up.  the weaker Jaejoong came the clearer it was to them they were running out of time.

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i know all your hearts are retch... but if they were... i wouldn't be able to keep you all following this story.....

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