GOOD NEWS: Aenkr28 will be back betaing for me soon... I don't want to go to far ahead with out her checking...As my writing can be pretty terrible.thank you all for your patience readers it means a lot...

---

 

Un-beta

Chapter 20

 

 Heechul lay beside his son watching his son sleep, finally his son was having a calm and uneventful sleep, and it was really something Jaejoong needed. Heechul pulled the cover over his shoulder as he got up to leave the room. He closed the door quickly and glance around the hall to see Kangin and Leeteuk’s eldest and youngest rushing around the hall bumping into one another as they passed.

 

“Taemin do you know where my shirt is?” Yunho asked as he rushed.

 

“Umma ironed them, it’s downstairs,” Heechul leaned back, he had learned from spending the week with Kangin and Leeteuk, that his son’s weren’t really morning people. Yet again they were running around trying to get ready for school. “Is Changmin hyung up yet?”

 

“Doubt it.” Yunho answer him. He bowed his head to Heechul as he past him running down the stairs. “Get Appa to get him it.”

 

“Appa…” Kangin just nodded at his son before turning to great “Heechul…” Kangin called out as he yawned walking out of his room.  “Welcome to the mad house…” He opened Changmin’s door, “Changmin, get your up out of bed, if you want to eat before going to school! It’s already late.” He waited until he saw some movement. “You got ten minutes…” Siwon left the door open making his way down the hall, “How Jae this morning? I hear him last night, is he alright?”

 

“He had a slight panic attack, but he slept after I’ve given him something to relax?” Kangin nodded, “It must be really tough on you.”

 

“I’ve had better day, but this is not one of the worst.”

 

“There’s worst?”

 

“As much as I hate to admit it and say this was worst. There’s been days where I haven’t been able to calm him down. We had to commit him a few times over it. It took him a while to find comfort in our voices, but last night I have a little help from the little guest he brought home, I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be, he’s seem to have taking a liking to it.”

 

“You’re very understanding.” Heechul told him, “I know my son and I are taking advantage of your family a lot. I’m so grateful to you and Leeteuk.”

 

 “We’ve know each other for too long to not help out our friends.” Kangin placed his hand on Heechul’s shoulder, “We’ll help him get his feet.”

 

“I hope so.” Heechul thought about it, “I want what’s best for Jae. To be a normal teenage whatever that is, it’s wrong of me to think Jae needs people he can trust, friends he can trust and depend on… Mmm... Kangin I’ve been meaning to ask, Siwon faxing over some medial paper for Jae, could I get him to fax them to you.”

 

“No problem the fax is in the office.” Kangin pointed to a room at the end, “The number beside the machine.”

 

“Thank you, thank you for putting up with the drama of my family.”

 

“You call that drama? Okay my kids have been on slightly good behaviour this week, by strike orders by me and Leeteuk. But they will eventually blow up, if I know my sons which I do.” He turned, Changmin still wasn’t up. “Be right back. If I don’t get him up, nothing will and then Leeteuk with get in a Tessie.”

 

Heechul laughed, “So I should probably distract him in the kitchen.”

 

It wasn’t long until Kangin dropped his boy off at school. Leeeuk and Heechul sat around the table, leaning back. “Your appointment at the school is a 12:30, we’ll have to leave around 12, Do you think Jaejoong is ready? He doesn’t have to go but it might give him a chance to see the school. So he’s prepared for when he starts,” Heechul looked at his watch, he did plan on bringing Jaejoong but last night actions made him double check himself. He’d given Jaejoong strong prescribed medication last night.

 

“I don’t know, I gave him something strong.”

 

“We’ll if he’s not I’ll drop you over, Kangin doesn’t have work today so he could keep his eye on Jaejoong for you.”

 

“I don’t want to put him out.”

 

“You won’t be.”

 

Heechul was reluctant to leave his son. “I don’t know…”

 

“A couple of hours won’t do you any harm, when was the last time you had a break?” That was a good question, when was the last time he had a break? He didn’t know, not since Jaejoong was very young, well one thing was for certain Jaejoong got a lot more of his attention now that he ever did. “How about we have a spot of lunch while we’re out?” Leeteuk said as he began to clean up the table.

“Only if it’s for a few hours.” Heechul voiced out. “I’m afraid to think what he’s do if I was away to long.”

 

“You worry too much, I think you’re going to be a nerve wreck when Jae starts school.”

 

“You have no idea.” he checked the clock ahead, “I think I’ll have a shower before we go.”

 

“No problem, Heechul have you filled out all the forms I left you”

 

“Yes, that was he easy part!” Leeteuk laughed.

 

“You’ll get him there.” Leeteuk told him as Heechul walked away muttering to himself,

 

If only I have you optimise.

 

He walked back up stair and gazed into Jaejoong’s room, If only he would talk about it, maybe we would be able to get to the bottom of this. Heechul shook his head. His son couldn’t open up to him, let alone anyone else not his eldest son or their father. And for Heechul as a mother, it hurt him dearly not been able to help his son. He hated himself for not asking his son before everything happen, his son hadn’t been himself for week. He muttered into the room. “When will you open up to me about what happened Jae?” It was hard for him, here he was going to send his son back to school, without knowing what cause his son to start hurting himself, cutting his slender pale white skin. He remember back to the moment he admit Jae. He couldn’t hold back his tears as he repeatedly asked his son why he would hurt himself. And then those words left his son’s lip haunted his soul. He closed his eyes and though about it.

 

Flashback

 

“Jaejoong I know you probably hate me and Appa but this is for your own good.”

 

“What do you know?” Jaejoong shouted at his mother, he was on the bed, after attempted to flee the place Siwon and Heechul had the door blocked off. They were still waiting for the doctor to excess there son. “H-how could you do this Umma….” Heechul’s heart ached, Siwon’s hand squeezing his shoulder. “U-Umma please, I won’t do it again… please just take me home.” Jaejoong pleaded with his mother. Heechul glanced at Siwon as he was unable to speak, Siwon approached to the bed.

 

“Jae, your mother and I can’t do this anymore, it’s not just yourself you’re hurting,” Siwon told him as he turned Jaejoong’s wrist over so that the cuts were visible to him with the light, along with new gapping wounds. He looked at Jaejoong straight into the eyes, waiting for him to say something. Siwon noticed that Jaejoong eyes widened filled with tear treating to spill.  “Jae if only your mother and I knew why you did this, maybe we could change are minds.” Jaejoong didn't know what to tell him. He didn't want to tell them the truth behind some of the cuts, that some of the cut weren’t cause by him, he didn’t, he couldn’t, not being able to cope with what was happening was his fault, he blamed himself, for being stupid, pathetic and idiot, the word swam around his head. “Jae…”

 

“Leave me alone!” Jaejoong told him pulling his hand away, “Appa you really shamed of me right?” Siwon didn’t get the chance to defend himself as Jaejoong continued, “You wish you never hand a son like me, right?”

 

“What are you saying, Jae?” Siwon asked, he could see the world of depression his son had sank into, “You and I both know I don’t’ think that…”

 

“You wish you only had hyung…”

 

“No we don’t.” Heechul inserted, “Jae why are you saying something like that when you know that it isn’t true?” Jaejoong refused to listen he shook his hand in denial none of  this was happening. “Jae...” Heechul tried to place his hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” Jaejoong backed away from Heechul outstretched hand, “Just don’t though me….., “Just leave me alone.”  Jaejoong turned his back to them…, “Go be a happy family without me….?”

 

“Jaejoong stop it just stop it…” Siown grabbed a hold of Jaejoong wrists and held them together fearing his son would do something harmful to himself. Siwon was truly worried about Jaejoong

 

“Why do you can…. It not like I’m….” Jaejoong didn’t finish…

 

“What Jae…?” Siown asked not understanding.

 

“Why would you care even if I wanted to kill myself?” Jaejoong allowed the words to slip from his mouth, “You wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore…  I’d be free him this life, no more treatment, no more cancer ruining you life’s… no more…..no more…..?”  

“Jae!”, Heechul called.”

“Go away….. Leave me alone… I-I hate you…” Jaejoong winced as he pulled his hand free. He collapsed to the bed face down…  “I wish you were never my parents…?” Heechul and Siwon need there soon didn’t mean anything he said…. They knew he was shielding the truth from them…. But it didn’t stop the pain in ther heart when they hear those worse…” Heechul did his best to speak… clearly

“J-Jaejoong…. Nothing going to stop us loving you, We want to help you Jae”, Heechul said.

“I-if you wanedt to help me you wouldn’t have brought me here?” Jaejoong voice was mumble as he spoke into the pillow…  “I want to go home…

 

“Jae… been here is what best… you father and I don’t know what to do anymore… Your totally lost to us at the moment…Please Jae…..we want what best for you… and here will do that for you… Jaejoong your life is so special to us.

 

“My life isn’t your business”, Jaejoong mumbled.

“But it is Jae…. “Heechul told him.

“And always will be…. Siwon finished Heechul sentence.., “You and Donghae are our life Jae….” The next thing Siwon knew Jaejoong had his arm cupped around his neck as he cried. Heechul patting his back with care and Siwon held him, like he was a newborn baby.

 

End Memories

 

Heechul knew there was lot more.. But all he could do was wait. It wasn’t like he could force the information from his son. Even the doctor said it would take time probably a lot of time….“Open up soon Jae….  I don’t know how much more of this I can take…. “ Heechul spoke in the vacant hallway leaning up again the door….

 

 

 

 

_____________________________________________________________

Next Chapter will be jumping a bit to Jaejoong first day... or Yunho and his brothers in school.... which will it be? ^_^

 

Commet for the next update