This is the first sleep I had without any nightmares. I haven’t had any, for sometime… when I don’t get nightmares, I don’t dream. What a pleasant situation I wound myself in. Waking up late, I found Leo still in my arm’s reach although his eyes are wide open. He didn’t move an inch, if I remembered correctly. While I’m sure that I am late for school, I don’t really care. I don’t want to go to school looking like a mess anyway, after all those crying. Leo noticed me waking up and turns to face me, his eyes still sparkling brightly. “Good morning to you, Leo,” I smiled and reached a hand over to pat his head. “Did you sleep well?” he nodded fast and pokes my arm using a finger in response, as if asking myself the same question. I nodded; a smile wide on my face. “I did. Maybe because I slept with Leo,” I whispered as his eyes—if however it is possible—seems to be brighter. As if it was lit with happiness.

I told him to get up and he sat by the bed before standing up, rubbing his eyes before turning to face me and let me hold on to his hand to help myself get up. “Mmm, breakfast?” he nods fast and held my hand in his, as we walk downstairs for breakfast.

*             *             *

“So, since I’ve skipped school anyway, why don’t we go outside again?” Leo looked up to me, nodding excitedly as he finished his last bites of omelet rice. “We can go to the mall. Or the park,” I said as I take a sip of my coffee. He nodded still, finally taking his final scoop of rice. “Oh, you eat well,” I smiled and took his plate, stacking it with mine before going off to do the dishes. As expected, Leo would follow me closely, and I’ve been getting used to this that I liked his presence more than his absence. He reaches his hand for a plateful of chocolate cookie I prepared and take one piece, holding it with two hands as he munch the treat down in delight.

“Anyway, we should go out so that the house could get a clean-up,” I retort after finishing the dishes, taking a piece of cookie myself and eat as I pull Leo’s hand upstairs to get him change clothes so that we could still enjoy some morning air as we got out.

Again I dress him up with a thick coat and a scarf, plus a beanie. Leo dislikes gloves, so I no longer ask him to wear it. I put on a similar layer of clothing before we got out. Packing a bit of food into a back pack again, I ask Leo to put the back pack on and he seemed excited of the new apparel on his back. He skipped on his toes up and down while admiring the pack bounce. “Hey, hold your horses. You would squish our lunch if you keep doing that,” I said to him and he had his usual sullen face on as he stopped skipping. “Oh Leo. You wouldn’t want to eat a squished sandwich, would you?” he pondered for a bit before shaking his head fast. “I know. Neither would I. So let’s go?” I tried hard to put on my best smile as I ask for his hand, and he nodded excitedly after studying my expression. The corners of his lips curved upwards again, like they usually do, but now they actually resembles a smile. No, they are actually a smile. Leo finally smiled.

I’m glad he learned to smile while he’s with me.

                                                                                *             *             *

We went to a park quite far from the house. We had to ride on a bus for a bit, and then walk from the stop. But it was worth it. No one from my neighborhood is around, and there is pretty scenery. I brought Leo to the pond and left him by the side of it as I ran to get some fish food. I brought it back to Leo and he held the small pellets in his hands, looking at me questioningly. I motioned him to throw it to the pond, and he hesitantly drops it to the area nearby our standing spot instead.

A lot of fish starts showing in the murky water, and his eyes widened in surprise. “See? These fishes will come if you feed them. Go on!” I excitedly throw some more food in the pond, and more fish surfaces to catch the food we threw. Leo nudges my arm to ask for more fish food, and then he squatted by the pond to drop his share of fish food excitedly.

“Heeheehee,”

Eh? “Leo?” I asked, and he looked up to me with his eyes curving downwards to little crescent shapes, and he smiled wide. “Was that you?” blinking confused, he only look up to me questioning himself whether to answer with a nod or with a head shake. In the end, I shrugged it off and hand him more fish food, to which he excitedly took in his hands and drop it one by one to the pond, prolonging the fun in his own world.

I squatted next to him and took my camera out; focusing on his smile as he excitedly feed all those fish, a wide smile plastered on his face. He tried to reach his hand out to touch, and I had to stop him before he stumbled himself in the pond.

“Teheeheehee.”

Oh. That voice… it really is Leo’s laugh. It sounds very dry and raspy, with a high tone. Maybe from all those years of not using his vocal chords. So he’s not mute, after all…

We emptied to full plastic containers of fish food before I had to drag Leo away from the pond. He disliked being pulled away, but he agrees anyway when I bribe him with a lollipop. I took a picture of the fishes to cajole him, and we went away.

We went for a walk around the park, and while I was taking pictures of the pretty scenery, Leo pulled onto my sleeve and I looked at where he shyly points to. It was a litter of kitten, in a box. I walk with him to the box and he immediately squatted, gently poking a kitten using his finger. I showed him to put a hand by them and let them sniff on the hand. “This is how we introduce ourselves to cats. Especially kittens… they get scared a lot, so we have to be slow,” I said as some of the kitten sniffed and my fingers, one of them even try to bite me with their baby teeth.

Leo put his hand in their box and the kittens slowly change interest from my hand to his. Leo looked up to me and smiled widely, looking very proud of himself.  I took a picture of him, a huge smile on his face, and the small kittens, playing excitedly.

                                                                                *             *             *

We spent the next two hours with the kitten.

When it was time for lunch, I didn’t have the heart to pull Leo away from them, and he seemed more than delighted when I told him that he could bring him along if he wanted to. He took the box in his hands and with ease, lifted it up. We walked around to find an empty bench, so we could eat before I decide whether or not we should bring those kittens home. Leo seemed ready to sulk at anytime if I don’t bring them home, though.

We find an empty spot at a rather less crowded area. It was nice. The wind is starting to get cold because it’s early December, but all in all; it was a pleasant day to have lunch outside. I opened our packed sandwich and gave Leo his big portion, as usual. He looked at the different fillings inside them as I explained: one of them is ham and cheese, and the other tuna with mayonnaise. He nodded happily before using his hands to rip the sandwiches messily to small bite sizes. At first I thought it was because he had difficulties in eating big pieces, but to my surprise, Leo squatted next to the box of kittens—that we have decided to brought along our walk—and fed them, one small piece at a time.

My heart warms at the sight and secretly, I took another picture of him.

This being. This unknown being who stumbled upon my house by accident, who was mute, who dislikes darkness.

How could anyone love this being?

How could I… end up loving him? Leo? Leo, whose presence barely noticeable the first time I met him. Now his absence torture me so much…