eleven;

Dickhead: SHUT THE UP SKIP BEAT IS A ING GREAT MANGA OK??

Half-wit: OH MY GOD YOU’RE SUCH A GIRL ONE PIECE IS SO MUCH BETTER

Dickhead: PLEASE WHO WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT SOME DUMB PIRATE’S LIFE

Half-wit: HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN CAUSE JOHNNY DEPP IS HOT

Dickhead: YOU’RE A PONCE

Half-wit: I’M ACTUALLY BI WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE

Dickhead: you

Half-wit: hah, you wish.

Half-wit: (btw I’m watching the seventh episode of the anime and too much feels because she’s so braaaave)

Dickhead: (Ikr?? I’m also watching One Piece it’s so hilarious)

Half-wit: high-five, dude. We’re in’ awesome

Dickhead: HELL YEAH.

=

Hyukjae lets out a satisfied groan and stretches his arms above his head after having swallowed the last bits of his plate, before he idly slumps down on his chair.

“Hmm, that was good,” he mutters contentedly.

“I feel like my tummy is going to burst because too much ing food,” Kyuhyun whines and scrunches his nose up, a hand holding his stomach.

“You’re such a baby,” Kibum retorts and laughs shortly.

The three of them are seated at a small table of a typical Korean restaurant of the mall, savoring a tasty beef barbecue and a kimchi stew. It’s already pretty late but they don’t seem to care all that much as they continue to wolf down everything that is on the table (despite Kyuhyun claiming he’s going to have a stomachache), while chatting and laughing loudly. Hyukjae is a bit scared that he’s going to get fat (he didn’t work on those abs to let them fade away because of beef and kimchi, ok) but he is on vacations and it’s really good, so he guesses that it’s not so important anymore.

Soon enough, when the waitress realizes that they are done with the main course, she quickly approaches them to ask if they are planning to order any desserts. While Hyukjae is avidly ogling at the picture of a strawberry cake with ice-cream (screw the ing abs), he sees Kibum looking up from his own menu from the corner of his eyes. His best friend looks somewhere behind him and tilts his head to the side in mild curiosity.

Kyuhyun doesn’t seem to care at all and is still complaining about his tummy, even if he keeps going staring at a chocolate dessert.

“Hey,” Kibum speaks up. “Isn’t that Seohyun over there?”

Hyukjae blinks and sends a last longing glance at the strawberry cake on the menu, before he turns around to look for his ex-girlfriend in slight curiosity. “Where?” he mumbles distractedly. The waitress is coming back to take their orders and he can’t afford missing the chance of taking a bite of the promising dessert he found.

“Here,” Kibum continues and discreetly points to a nearby table, where a couple is enjoying their dinner. “It’s her, right?”

“It is,” Kyuhyun says, then, apparently having realized that no one cares about his pain. “The guy must be her date. I think his name is Jung Yonghwa or something.”

Hyukjae hums in response before he turns around to face them with a shrug. “He looks nice,” he nods approvingly. Even if he is supposed to be one of her ex-boyfriends, he can only feel brotherly affection for her instead of jealousy. “…and handsome.” The last word comes out sounding slightly bitter, which prompts Kibum to look up.

The latter stares at him with speculative eyes before he slowly puts the menu down on the table. “You know that you are, too, right?” he mutters uncertainly. He tries to seek some help from Kyuhyun, but the younger resolutely stares at his menu. “I mean, I know we’re always joking about this but he’s hardly any more handsome than you are.”

“I know that,” the redhead student snorts nonchalantly but it’s easy to see the lack of self-confidence flaring in his eyes.

“You know what I mean, Hyuk,” Kibum frowns disapprovingly.

Hyukjae grips on the menu tighter and nervously chews on his lower while wondering if he is supposed to talk about this issue with his two friends. He knows he should, because this is what best friends do, but something still holds him back.

You’re the best out of them all, his penpal said. They don’t deserve all the time you waste thinking and worrying about them.

But still, he really doesn’t feel like talking about this to anybody else than his pen friend at the moment. He knows it’s stupid, but he’s scared that Kibum and Kyuhyun might laugh at him – even if they technically already know about it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he finally states with a firm voice. The heavy sense of finality that taints his tone successfully warns his two friends that he absolutely has no desires of talking about this right now, and they both sigh in defeat.

But oddly, the fact that only the penpal knows about his complex isn’t as puzzling as it should be – it’s almost comforting, actually, he thinks distractedly as he orders his strawberry dessert. It’s nice.

=

Hyukjae’s patience is tested the whole night when he comes back home, after having walked his two other friends back home. He feels a little down and really wishes he could talk to someone, but Kibum and Kyuhyun are excluded, and he’s way too stingy to make an international call only to whine at his mother. His last but not least option is to text his penpal, but he feels a little embarrassed to complain to someone he doesn’t really know that well (but they are actively working on that).

It’s only after he takes a long shower and that he crawls under the warm blankets of his bed that he makes up his mind. With a resigned sigh, he picks his phone up from the bedside table and looks for the penpal’s phone number. He’s about to type a message when the device starts buzzing in his hand.

Dickhead: hi I’m bored.

Surprised, Hyukjae blinks at the screen and feels an unexplainable glee spread through him.

Hyukjae: is it me or you’re always bored

Dickhead: if I tell you, I’ll have to kill you. How are u doing?

Hyukjae only hesitates for a second, before he quickly taps on the touchscreen and sends his reply.

Hyukjae: like . I feel like killing someone. Or eating a bucket of strawberry ice-cream.

Dickhead: oh why D:

Dickhead: wait is it because of that stuff you told me about in the letters? The bastards and the complex thing?

The redhead student has to pause in surprise upon reading that, before he mutters “How the hell did he guess that?”

Hyukjae: ......what are you, a medium? Akinator?

Dickhead: no....... but that’d be so cool! Anyways, remember what I told you (wrote?). They don’t ing deserve it, ok. Oh my God I hate the fact that they’re still messing with your head after all this timeeeeee.

Hyukjae: dude I should be the one saying (writing?) this. You’re such a girl seriously

Dickhead: SHUT UP I’M TRYING TO BE HELPFUL HERE

Hyukjae: ///YOU/// SHUT UP YOU LITTLE DIP.

Hyukjae: (thanks dude, btw)

Dickhead: (no problem, you’re welcome!!)

That night, when Hyukjae finally goes to sleep (after texting over one hour and a half with the penpal), he feels so much better.

=

“Of course I miss you too, baby,” Donghae smiles when he hears Hara’s giggles over the fixed-line phone he’s using to call her.

Despite all he said on Friday before the vacations, Hara is still his girlfriend and he truly likes her, as much as he knows that it probably won’t go any further than that. He guesses that he thought this way only because he was tired at that time. It seems like a good explanation and he decides to stick by it.

“When are you coming back to Seoul?” she pouts. “I want to see you.”

But, well, he still has to admit that it’s getting a little bit boring with all the whining. At that moment, he feels his cellphone buzzing in the pocket of his jeans, indicating that he has just received a text. Distractedly listening to Hara’s words, he takes it out and unlocks the screen.

Half-wit: wassup bro’

And chatting with his penpal is kind of definitely more entertaining than talking with his girlfriend.

Donghae: having phone call with girlfriend

Half-wit: and still has the time to reply to my texts? Is it really that boring?

Donghae: it’s ok

Half-wit: ...that horrible huh ;)

Donghae automatically lets out a noncommittal sound when Hara asks him something, while an amused grin tugs at his lips.

Donghae: well yes. Shut up I don't want to hear your opinion. And you, what are you doing?

Half-wit: was about to watch some hot but internet is being a . So texting you instead.

Donghae: wow such a honor being the second choice

Half-wit: better than being the third.

Donghae: …true. So what's your definition of hot? In the high school for example.

Half-wit: Lee Hyukjae, definitely 8D

Donghae: Ugh you're annoying with your Hyukjae obsession. He's not even //that// great, is he. Lee Donghae on the other hand..........

Half-wit: ..................what the is wrong with you?? should I exorcise you??

“You er,” Donghae scoffs as he reads the last text the penpal sent.

He’s about to send a nasty reply in return, when he remembers he’s supposed to have a phone call with Hara, who can hear everything he is saying.

But by then, it’s already too late.

“What the ?!” she screeches into the phone. He startles and makes a face, before keeping the receiver away. “Did you just call me a er, Lee Donghae?!”

That jerk, Donghae shakes his head in disbelief as his girlfriend continues to yell at him, and stifles small fits of laughter behind his hand.

It’s really bad, but he can’t help finding the whole situation ing funny.

Donghae: because of you and your stupid texts, girlfriend is throwing a fit at me. You’re a ing .

Half-wit: I have a great , though 8D

lol what the hell with all these useless texts guys, get your head out of the gutter and just already.

Yeah, so idek anymore. Too much inspiration for this fic means fast updates, I guess. Don't get used to it, I warn you. I'm probably going to talk about the reason why those two idiots hate each other because I know lots of you are curious about it. But before you guys get your hopes up for something super dramatic, I gotta tell you it's probably going to be something really stupid (everything in this story is, actually).

Oh and I entered a contest with this story. So it's going to be completed before 15th, April (cause that's the deadline, duh). The link to the contest is on the foreword! 8D

Ok i'm done, bye <3 Thanks for reading, and remember to comment/upvote/subscribe.

P.S: someone told me they thought the chapters were a bit too short. That's the point of this story guys. And since I update quite fast and regularly, I think it compensates pretty well.

P.P.S: looks like I'll need to make the chapters longer anyway, cause this contest only allows 25 chapters max TAT