Chanyeol's POV

"What do you mean 'go home'? You just said that you needed me!" I shouted enraged. Does she still not get what I had to go through to get here? I haven't been here for 2 days and she's telling me to go home? How could she do this to me?!

"Chanyeol..." she said as I saw tears welling up in her eyes. "I do need you, now more than ever."

"Then how could you tell me to go home? I told you I'm here for you. Don't worry about anything else, just you. Just us..." I told her. I was scared where this was heading.

"How could I not worry?" She raised her voice, looking up at me. "You're a senior! This is your last semester before you graduate! You should be in school! And how about your friends! Don't you think about them? They're probably worried about you ever since left. And your parents! What about them? I still don't know how you convinced them to let you come here but --"

"Soojin!" I shouted, cutting her off. I let her go, ran my hands through my hair and took a few steps away from her to control my frustration and rising fury. "None of that is your concern right now! Why can't you just listen to me for once and do as I say?"

"If you were in my position, could you seriously tell me that you don't feel guilty? Don't you think I have the right to worry?" Soojin told me getting a little angry herself. "I never asked you to come Chanyeol. I don't know what kind of consequences your setting yourself up for by being here, but I can't help but to feel responsible for them no matter how many times you say it isn't my fault."

I let out a huge sigh, not believing the words I was hearing. And to think that we were having such a good day. But I would be lying if I didn't say that she had a point. If I was in her shoes, I would feel the same way too.

I turned away from her, not able to look at her at the moment. So much was going on in my mind and I didn't want her to see how frantic I felt.

I heard her sigh behind me. "You know I'm right Chanyeol," She whispered sadly. "I don't know how long I'm going to be here, but you can't stay here with me forever. You have to go back."

My heart felt as if she shot an arrow right threw it. Nothing mattered. My friends understood. My parents finally tried to understand me. And school? I never needed it anyway. But that's not why my heart was in pain, no. It was when she said she didn't know how long she was going to take, which also meant that she might not ever come back. And that wasn't something I couldn't bare to imagine.

"What do you mean you don't know how long you're going to be here?" I turned to face her quickly, demanding an answer. I took a few desperate steps back towards her as what I feared might be starting to become a reality.

*****

Soojin's POV

I cringed at the tone of Chanyeol's voice as he reappeared in front of me. I may be tall, but I still get effected as he towered over me. I felt a little scared, but I had to tell him sooner of later.

"I..." I mumbled, not sure how to tell him. "I don't know if I'm going to go back."

"You mean like, you don't know when you're going to go back right? As in, you're going to go back to Seoul right?" Chanyeol said, I could hear the pain in his voice as it ripped my heart into small pieces.

"No..." I told him in a smaller voice. "I...don't know if I'm going to go back...ever."

It was a thought that I've been contemplating for a while now. I just lost my mother. My best friend, my role model, my care taker, my everything. Leaving the place where I grew up with her so soon just didn't feel right. I wasn't ready to let it go and I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be. Going back to school in Seoul was the least of my worries. Did I think about how Shinji and the rest of the boys would feel? Of course I did. But I'm sure they would understand. Right? I know Chanyeol would too...right?

"Soojin, you can't be serious," he couldn't believe it himself. "I only have 5 days here. I didn't come halfway across the globe and not have you go back to Seoul with me."

"I never asked you to come here!" I shouted at him, immediately regretting the outburst. He was being unfair. I get it, I do. I didn't know the details, but I knew that he must have gone through a tough time trying to come here. But how could he expect me to go back to Seoul so quickly? Especially in 5 days? I've only been back home for a couple of weeks. It was going to take more than one more week to be ready to head back.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, not able to look at his face. "I just...it's just...it's not that..." My words wouldn't come out right and I let out a sigh in frustration. "I need more than 5 days."

We stood there for a long moment. I was still too unsure to look up at him to see how he was feeling at the moment. The curiosity killed me and I was just about to look up to see when he finally spoke.

"So now what?" he asked. It was hard to read what he was feeling. There was no expression on his face and his voice was flat.

"Huh?" I asked, confused but a little scared at the same time.

He looked at me straight in the eyes and I immediately felt extremely uncomfortable under his gaze. "So now what?" He repeated.

"I..I'm not sure what you mean," I've never seen this side of Chanyeol before. He was cold, distant. Nothing like the Chanyeol I've grown to know and love.

"Is this it then? You have no intention of going back to Seoul? I came here for nothing? I have to go back alone?" He started to raise his voice and I was definitely scared at that point. "To think that me, Park Chanyeol, did all this for some girl. I can't believe I let myself get this far. How could I have been so stupid?"

I didn't know how to respond, I just looked at him with sad eyes as I felt the familiar burning sensation rising in my nose.

"Alright then," he said turning around, his back facing me. "This is it."

I wanted to say something, though I didn't know what. But even before I had the chance, he quickly walked away towards my home. I stood there frozen, the hot tears slowly rolling down my face.

This was not what I wanted. This was not how it was supposed to happen.

*****

Chanyeol's POV

"Jina noona?" I knocked the bedroom door of Jina noona's room and opened the door not waiting for a response.

"What is it Chanyeol?" She looked up at me from her book in surprise at my sudden entrance as concern quickly covered her face. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm going home, it was a mistake to come here," I told her bluntly pacing back and forth in her room, trying to block all emotion and feeling out.

How could have I thought that this was going to work? When did I become so desperate? And over a girl! Was I such a fool to throw myself at the first girl I've ever had real feelings for without hesitation? Was I so naive to think that things were going to go the way I wanted? I came all the way over here for her and Soojin was just going to send me back? Doesn't she want to be with me? She said she needed me, but why was it so easy for her to tell me to go away? I just didn't understand and I was too angry to care anymore. I just wanted to leave, just like Soojin wanted.

"Whoa, whoa, Chanyeol," Jina noona tried to calm me down. "What do you mean? Did something happen between Soojin?"

I quickly rambled everything to her eventually starting to think out loud taking a seat next to her on the bed. My lips went on for a while, the anger slowly pouring out of me with each word. How could Soojin do this to me?

"I mean, can you believe that?!" I realized how heated up I was as my chest heaved up and down in anger as I tried to catch my breath.

"Chanyeol..." Jina noona said softly, putting her hands over mine. I looked down to see that they've been clenched. I released them, feeling the rush of blood flow through my veins again. "Are you calmed down now?"

"As much as I'll ever get right now," I mumbled, annoyed.

"Okay, then I'm going to talk a little now alright?" She let out a soft laugh before she put back her stern noona face. Uh oh, I know that face. Suddenly she wacked me across the head in one quick, swift motion.

"Ow!" I rubbed the spot where she hit me, it was all too familiar. I missed Jina noona a lot, but definitely not when he did that. "Noona! What the heck!"

"Yah, Park Chanyeol," she scolded. "Are you seriously that stupid?"

"What!" The last time she hit me was probably during my last lesson with her years ago because I kept falling asleep by accident. Who knew this would come back to haunt me.

"Don't you get it?" Jina looked at me with unbelieving eyes. "You really think Soojin is the type of girl to just send you back home for no reason? I knew you were stupid sometimes Chanyeol, but not this stupid."

"What the heck noona, you're siding with her on this?" I fumed. Jina noona was my noona first. How could she so easily side with someone she met not long before I did. To be honest, I felt a little betrayed.

"Sweetie, it's not that I'm siding with her. I'm not siding with anyone. I just needed to knock some sense into you." she started. "I know you said you only have permission to be here for 5 days, but did you honestly think that Soojin was going to go back to Seoul with you at the end of the week? Honey, she lost her mother. You can't put a deadline on when she has to be stable enough to continue her life like normal. Quite frankly, I'm disappointed that you didn't understand that."

A sudden wave of guilt washed over me. Jina noona was right. I may not have known Soojin for long, but from that short amount of time, i knew how much she loved and cared for her mother. The first time I saw them together was when I knew. Gosh, how could I have been so stupid! So selfish! Of course Soojin wasn't ready to let it go. It tooks me months to even live my life a fraction back to normal when my grandfather passed. How could I have expected Soojin to be any different?

"You know more than anyone, it's going to take time." Jina put her hand on my shoulder, making me look up at her with sad, guilty eyes. "If you really care for Soojin, you'll stay by her side. And to make it clear, that doesn't mean you have to be in the same room, or even in the same country, to do that."

"What if she doesn't come back noona?" I thought out loud. "She told me that she wasn't ever going to come back. What am I supposed to do then?"

Jina noona was silent for a few seconds before responding.

"Chanyeol," she said softly. "I know that you and Soojin have really strong feelings for each other. I know that it's been a really rough year - for the both of you and I know that things won't get any easier. That's life. It doesn't get easier as you grow up. But you wanna know what the secret to survival is? It's making sure that you keep yourself surrounded by the people you most care for....romantic relationship or not."

I looked down once more, understanding where she was going with this. And she was right.

"You're still young Chanyeol, you both are. And because this is a first love type of deal, it's going to be hard to deal with. First loves will stick with you for the rest of your life, whether you had the chance to blossom it or not." Jina continued. "What I'm trying to say is: if Soojin does decide to stay here in the States, then you should support her decision. If you care for her, then you wouldn't make her do something you wouldn't want anyone making you do. It's better to keep someone in your life that is so important to you than to cut ties because your relationship didn't take the path you had in mind. Sometimes a best friend is better than nothing."

I bit my lip and let out a sigh. Dang, I hated it when Jina noona pulled these life lessons on me. It was almost too unfair.

After a few more moments of silence and exchanging looks to close the conversation, Jina stood up.

"So...now what are you going to do?"

A/N:

HELLO MY LOVELIES!!!
man, can i just say, because i've been out of writing for so long, it is SOOOO hard getting back into this again T-T
so i apologize a million times if my writing isn't up to par or things don't seem to have the same flow. i'm really really trying here T-T
i'm probably going to go back and make some edits as i continue ahhh
i can't believe i'm been on hiatus for so long...i know i get it! i'm the worst!

but thank you for sticking around for those who came back.
and look! new subscribers! thank you to the new supporters who are just coming in, i hope you like the story :)

subscribe, comment, upvote. i'll love you forever <3

because there were no members in this chapter at alll....

this gif explains everything about suho's mom position lolll

kai has the best smile, forreals....like..LOOK AT HIM

sehun...i know there was a huge exo era gap in my story..but seriously..
who knew he was such a derp? LOL <3

probably some really big news for those who have stuf with me since the beginning...
my new and final bias in exo is kyungsoo <3
I KNOW THIS IS SORT OF A BIG DEAL. but in the beginning of my story, exo was still "fairly new"
and i was having a SERIOUSLY hard time picking one bias...
after some serious contemplating over the past year or so, i finally made a decision.
kyungsoo 4 lyfe <3

until next time my lovelies <3

much love, thatxmusic