CHAPTER 14: EUPHORIA
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CODENAME: MAX

NAME: SHIM CHANGMIN

AGENCY: NIS

How else can I describe Ava’s mood if I cannot use the word happy? Or joyful, or ecstatic, or delighted? Too long, she believed, that the NJC has flaunted their victories in her face. Ava is utterly beyond elated at the capture of Park Yoochun, however, I believed her rapture has come too soon. There isn’t any solid evidence of Yoochun’s loyalties yet; he may just be an innocent victim. Nevertheless, I refused to speak my mind.

Ava has been under so much stress as of late. First because of the vile hacking, followed by her brother’s injury, and, most recently, the announcement that the NJC played internationally; she deserves a moment of rest, a moment of triumph. Yet Ava was eager to return to the agency now, to discover anything else that might have happened since we left this morning. There hasn’t been anything else that could have been on Ava’s mind!

“I knew it,” she once said as she preoccupied herself with finding a new song to play, “I knew the NJC wouldn’t last, they are short lived!” Then during our break, she started on her spite once more, “Think, Changmin, think of all the information we could get from him!” It worries me of how much confidence she had in Yoochun’s guilt. Surely, I myself was happy to see her smiling –it suits her better than the scowl that previously marked her face. However she is overworking herself.

“Ava…”I started when both our shifts were over. I was planning to propose an idea that I don’t know off, “when was the last time we went to the park?”

“The park?” Ava asks, putting away the sheets of music, “I don’t know, why are you asking anyway, Changmin?”

“We are going to have a picnic.” I stated, having just decided that very moment. I grabbed her hand and led her to the back door of the restaurant. Opening the door, my eyes raced to find that display of the store that sat almost across from the restaurant. It has been the same one, the same display as I always remembered.

 “Changmin?” Ava asked, I turned to glance at her. I wonder…has Ava ever taken noticed to the little things in her life? The little joys, aspects, and details that make up a whole? I doubled back and released Ava’s hand, then reached up to cover her eyes. “Changmin! What are you doing?” she yelled, I felt her body tense up and struggle not to lash out and hit me, however her hand wrapped around my forearm and lightly pull in attempts to glimpse at the world my hand was hiding.

 “Ava,” I asked, as led her to the front of the display, “do you now the store that is on the left corner of this street?”

 “Yes…” she said warily, “I know that one. What about it?”

 “Tell me what is sitting inside.” I demanded, I fully knew her answer, she knew not of the detail I knew.”

 “A bird, I think,” she mumbled, “I don’t know.” I knew it.

 “What kind of bird?” I pressed on.

 “I don’t know, Changmin!” Ava said, her patience waning, “What is the point of this anyway?” I brought my hands away from her eyelids. She turned and looked at me puzzlingly at what, doubtlessly; she thought was strange behaviour for me.

 “Look,” I began pointing at the display in front of us. “Do you see that Ava? Can you see what I see, what I have memorized?”

 “I am less sure by the second, Changmin.” Ava sighed, looking away from the display in annoyance and straight at me, “It’s a bird. A very pretty bird. Can we go now?” I stared back at her, then – without breaking gaze – knelt by the window. Finally I shattered our connection to face the statue.

“Look at how detailed it is Ava.” I whispered, fully knowing she would be able to hear, “The curves of the feathers, how each one is separate from the other but comes together as part of one body. I see it. I see the owner of the bird spending hours after hours sitting in a lonely chair. And once it’s finished, never having the heart to sell it because the bird is too close to him now. Do you see what I see?” Suddenly, after my narrative, Ava cackled.

“An old man? The only old man I see is the one staring at a stone bird in a store window.” She teased. I grinned ruefully at her. She cannot see what I see, What that bird symbolizes in my life. Nevertheless, I stood and returned to her side.

“Now it’s my turn to lead you,” Ava says. She seized my forearm once again, and pulls me along the sidewalk until we neared a vendor on the street selling ice-cream. “Buy one for me, Changmin,” Ava prods. I nearly chocked, Ava had never requested such a deed from me.

 “What? Get it yourself if you want it Ava.” I said, bewildered.

“Don’t you see what I see?” she whispered, “I see an older vendor who is sick of whiney children, who want more than anything in the world to serve a sweet happy couple. One that will remind him of his son or daughter.” I rolled my eyes, however realization decided it was time to hit me hard. Did Ava just call us a couple? Perhaps in her elation, she has lost half her reason? It does not matter to me.

 “Fine, fine.” I casually said, trying to catch on to her mood. “I’ll get you the ice cream. You’ve never paid for me anyway.”

“I paid in hours as your bodyguard.” She snapped.

“Then I should get you a double scoop.” I said smugly, “Because you were completely underpaid as a bodyguard”

“You best not forget that.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” She turned now, going to find a place to rest. I restored my attention to the ice-cream vendor at hand. I bought two scoops of mango ice-cream, as memory serves me well, it was Ava’s favourite, and a scoop of chocolate for me. I returned to Ava’s side, finding her sitting in the shade of a large tree. I sat, cross legged beside her and handed her the cup of ice-cream.

“How thoughtful of you to remember my favourite.” She said.

“Now, how can I forget?” Together we sat in silence, enjoying the ice-cream. I watched the sun and the shadow play with her hair, the sun accenting the tips, the shadow deepening the black. “Do you remember?” I began, putting down my cup “when we were kids; when we were here almost every day?  Just you and just me.” She nodded, refusing to look at me. I waited until she finished her ice-cream, and then braced myself to commit the inevitable of my heart.

I slowly reached for her hand, for the long, musical fingers. I wrapped my own lanky ones around them and raised it to my face. Ava tensed and whipped her head around, astonishment inscribed on her face, however she didn’t pull away. I brought her hand to my lips and lightly kissed it. Ava’s face softened to the touch. I raised my eyes to meet hers.

I wanted to kiss her. For our lips to touch for a moment. That moment where Heaven cannot even match to.

But, I couldn’t. I don’t know if she’s ready. If I’m ready.

“Changmin.” Ava murmured, uncertainly leaning towards me. I mimicked her movement, slowly, until our face was only inches apart. My heart was beating so fast, begging for me to stop torturing it, yet urging to me endure. I know I haven’t kissed a girl before, however I also knew this wasn’t just a girl. This is the girl that I adored. That I treasured. That held all of my reason, I didn’t wish for it back, no.

I reach out for her face with my free arm and I blindly caress it. My eyes are closed now, and I think that hers are too. I waited, my heart was the verge of demise, yet it was beating with a fury that would put lions to shame. Then our lips touched. My heart and stomach lurch together. My heart stopped beating, then started again in a frenzied pace.

And so, we kissed. Nothing can compare to what I feel now. An explanation would be worth nothing, a picture cannot be worth the amount of words that I can use to describe this feeling. Euphoria.  Paradise. Utopia. I want more of her, but she’s pulling back.

“Changmin,” she breathes in a dazed voice, “I, we -”

But I won’t know what she wanted to say because my cellphone rang that instant. I was grateful to say the least, because I’m afraid of what she would have said, so maybe it was fate trying to stretch that second of pure joy?

 “Hello?” I nearly whispered into the phone, I tried to keep my eyes on Ava; however she looked away, embarrassed.

 “Changmin,” Jaejoong announced sternly on the other end, “I need your help.”
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| Always Keep the Faith |