Chapter 31

Breakfast the next morning was tense. Nobody said anything. They didn’t dare to. Kyungsoo had bloodshot eyes and messy hair. It was because he stayed up the whole night, sitting at the swimming pool. That was what you assumed though, and you still felt guilty just thinking about it. His face was extra pale and his lips were chapped. He looked like death but he didn’t care at all. Chanyeol was in a same state as Kyungsoo. His hair looked like he had just walked through hurricane Katrina, it was jutting out everywhere, he was just staring into space and his plate was still empty. You didn’t want to make any eye contact with him though.

When you woke up that morning, much of the anger had disappeared and you had that small urge to apologize to him but your ego got the better of you and decided that he was the one who should apologize to you first. You just kept quiet and ate your breakfast. Yeseo and Baekhyun who had no idea what was happening, looked at each other helplessly. Just then, Kyungsoo stood up to leave.

“I’m going to get the stuff for the barbeque tonight. Anyone wants to come?” He said in a monotonous voice.

Yeseo’s eyes sparkled and she raised her hand in a heartbeat. “I’ll come with you!” she chirped.

Kyungsoo nodded and waited for a few more seconds for anyone else to answer. His body was slightly shifted towards your direction but he wasn’t looking at you. Even though you wanted to go, you knew that the air between the both of you were awkward so you just sat still. Kyungsoo nodded, as though he knew what you were thinking and left the room.

“Go get ready, Yeseo you’ll drive.” He said. Yeseo smiled and clapped her hands and skipped behind him.

It was only you, Chanyeol and a nervous looking Baekhyun, left in the quiet room. Baekhyun looked back and forth between the two of you and bit his lower lip. He then tried to find ways to get rid of the tense atmosphere.

“Hey guys, you want to go for a swim at the beach later? The weather’s great for a swim right? Hae Ra, you like to swim right? How about it?” He tried his best to smile cheerfully, hoping it’d influence you and Chanyeol but to no avail. You did want to swim though.

“I’m going to swim after breakfast.” You said quietly.

Baekhyun smiled and started cheering. “Yay! Alright one down, one more to go. How about it Yeol? Let’s have some fun at the beach!”

Chanyeol abruptly stood up. “I’m not going. I’ll be in the room.” He said and left the table.

“Hey, hey! Where are you going?! Don’t be such a party pooper you !” Baekhyun shouted to his best friend. The both of you then heard him slam the door which caused you to jump in your seat.

Baekhyun gawked and mumbled curses under his breath. “What the hell is wrong with that jackass? Getting so upset like a sissy.” You heard him say.

You cleared your throat and slowly stood up. “I think you should go and talk to your friend. I feel like swimming alone, you’ll only be a disturbance to me.” You said and left Baekhyun alone at the table.

“What is wrong with those two?! I’ll be a disturbance?! You know what’s disturbing Hae Ra?! Your face! That’s right, your face is disturbing! Stupid …” He shouted behind you and sulked. Out of anger, he picked up his fork to eat some oranges but because he pierced the orange to hard, the juice squirted into his eyes. “OWWW GOD DAMN IT YOU STUPID ORANGE!!” He wailed.

You closed the door to your room and sighed. Leaning your back against it, you looked out the window and saw the sea, gleaming with a luminous blue. The fact that Chanyeol was still upset with you was bothering you too much. You quickly took off your clothes and put on your swimsuit. You were lucky you brought it along. After changing, you packed a small bag with some towels and lotion and you headed out.

A gentle breeze came up to sin white drifts of sea water over the beach. The soothing repetitive sounds of the lapping waves came together in a gentle, hypnotic melody, providing a sense of tranquility. The more you were getting closer to the sea, the more excited you were getting. Your steps became much quicker and so were your breaths. The moment your feet touched the soft white sand, you tossed your bag to one side, and made a run for it.

The wave smashed against your body and enveloped you into a hug. You giggled to yourself as you dove under, getting your hair wet as well. As you surfaced, you were already a few feet away from the shore and your feet could barely touch the seabed. But you weren’t scared; you were a good swimmer of course. Being in the water again after so long, you could hardly contain your joy.

You floated on your back, facing the blue, crystal clear sky. The gentle waves moved as though it was rocking you to sleep. You could also see a small speck in the sky that was moving very slowly. You assumed it was an airplane. You breathed in the salty air and wondered when was the last time you even stepped foot in an airport. Ever since the passing of your father, you and your mother were too busy to leave the country for a vacation.

You looked up to the sky and sighed.

“How are you doing up there? I’m sorry I haven’t been able to talk to you often nowadays. Things have been pretty crazy. Guess what, I made some friends. Well, I think they’re my friends. I mean, they’re always around me. Friends do that right?”

You talked as though you were having a real conversation with your father. That’s what you would always do when you’re in the pool at home. When times were getting hard in school, or if it was about your mother, you’d always take a swim in the pool and just stared up in the sky, believing that your father was watching you from above. You could always talk to Mr. Lee about it but you just felt as though you could express your feelings more if you thought about your father. Even though you only knew him for a short while before his death. You were so young then.

“I’ve been having strange dreams lately. And in those dreams you were always there. We were at the beach but I was in the sea and you were at shore. A bit similar to now, but the only difference is you’re up there.” You chuckled to yourself as you pictured your father listening intently to you and nodding his head like how he would back when you were still a little girl and told him about the things you did in daycare.

“But the weird thing was, in that dream, I’d always drown. There would always be a huge wave behind me, and I’d get swallowed by it. And when I looked at you for help, you…” Your voice croaked, trying your best to suppress the tears. “You’d always disappear. And when I called you, you didn’t even look back.”

You stopped talking for a while to calm yourself down. The sound of the waves crashing seemed to be much softer suddenly. You turned to look back at the beach and realized you had drifted off quite far off. Panicked, you started to kick your legs back and swam closer to the shore. It was all okay at first but suddenly you felt a pang on your right calf and you couldn’t move your leg. The pain was so unbearable but you had to swim back or else you’d drown.

With your other leg, and the help from your arms, you tried your best to swim, but the waves were too strong for you and it kept dragging you further and further into the sea. You were starting to lose strength as well and tears were welling up in your eyes.

Please. Come on. Just a little bit more!

You could hear your own breathing quicken and you felt even more panicked. Your vision was getting blurry due to the tears collected in your eyes. You looked towards the beach and saw a figure standing and waving their arms at you.

“Help—“Water went into your mouth as you tried calling for help. That was the last straw. You couldn’t keep yourself afloat anymore. You lost the strength in your arms and legs, and you could feel yourself being pulled down. You realized your vision was starting to fade and you couldn’t hear anything, not even the sound of water; only your own breathing. The last thing you knew was someone pulling you up, and then you knew no more.

You woke up and noticed you were back in your room. It was dark and only the light from the table lamp beside you lit the room. You tried to recall what had happened and remembered how you swallowed some of the seawater before losing consciousness and someone pulled you back up to the surface. You tried to move but felt someone’s hand on yours. You looked down to see Kyungsoo, asleep with his head on your bed and his hand in yours.

You suddenly felt your cheeks becoming hot from embarrassment and you wanted to slap his hand away but you didn’t. Even with his mouth closed, his lips still formed a heart shape. And even though it was dark, you could see how long his eyelashes were. You wondered what he was doing in your room.

Could he be the one that had saved me?

You tried to remember the figure you saw waving to you from the beach but it was all too blurry for you.

It must’ve been him then. Seeing how he’s here with me right now…

Just then, he stirred and slowly his eyes fluttered open. You quickly tried to avert your gaze, in hopes that he wouldn’t notice you were staring at him while he slept. He let go of your hand and yawned, while at the same time stretching his arms. He rotated his shoulders, as though they were sore. That was when you were sure, he was your savior. He noticed you were awake and quickly diverted his attention to you.

“You’re awake? How are you feeling? Are you okay? Do you feel feverish? Should we send you home—“

“I’m okay, I’m okay! Geez, you’re going to make me faint again from all those questions.” You chuckled.

He let out a sigh of relief and rubbed his shoulders again. You were starting to get worried. Was it your fault that he hurt his shoulders? You were quite heavy to be carried, especially all the way from the sea to the beach.

“Is your arm okay? I didn’t…hurt you did I?” You examined his face.

He looked at you and chuckled while shaking his head. “What? Why would you hurt me? Don’t be silly, I’m okay.” He assured you with a smile.

You nodded and started to relax again. “Thanks…” You mumbled.

“What? For what?”

“For being there for me. I owe you.” You looked away. It was always hard for you to just say thanks to people. You find it a little embarrassing, and it was as though you were showing people your weak side.

“I’ll always be here for you Hae Ra.” He said and slowly, his hand slid between your fingers. His other hand travelled to your face, brushing away the loose strands from your face. Your cheeks scorched with embarrassment as he slowly traced the sides of your face.

Wh-why is he suddenly like this? I-is this another one of his bipolar sides? DOES HE HAVE MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES?!

You didn’t know why you suddenly couldn’t move your body, or even have enough strength to look away. You were frozen on the spot and all you could do was to just hope that something happens to get you out of that situation. As though the heavens had heard your prayers, Yeseo came into the room and Kyungsoo quickly retracted his hand.

“Hae Ra! Oh my God, are you okay?” she rushed to your side and Kyungsoo stood up to leave the room.

“I’ll tell the others you’re awake and get dinner ready.” He said and quickly disappeared. Your gaze just stuck to the door but was diverted when Yeseo waved her hands in front of your face.

“Are you feeling better?” You noticed she was blinking excessively, a habit of hers whenever she felt scared or worried about something.

You smiled and nodded. “Yes, I’m okay. Stop blinking your eyes too much, it’ll hurt.” You cupped her face to comfort her.

She glared at you but soften her expression again as she took a seat beside the bed.

“You really had me worried you know that? What were you doing in the middle of the ocean without a float anyway?”

You were about to reply her when she suddenly stood up again.

“Is this about Chanyeol?! Did the both of you fight last night that it made you want to kill yourself?! Are you crazy Hae Ra!!? You know how precious your life is, but killing yourself over some simple matter—“

You grabbed her hand and forced her to sit back down while at the same time with your other hand, you covered your mouth.

“Could you just chill for a minute?! I wasn’t trying to kill myself okay?! I just drifted away without realizing. And you know I’m a pretty good swimmer. But I guess I didn’t do any warm ups before and I strained my leg muscle.” You explained calmly.

Yeseo stopped fidgeting and when her eyes weren’t as big as saucers anymore, you let go of your grip.

“How can you be so dumb not to do any warm ups before you swam? Don’t make me worry like that again Hae Ra.” You could her eyes got a little teary and thought how it was all not a big deal and she was just overreacting.

“I can’t help it. You know how I am with water. And could you please stop worrying? I’m okay. Don’t cry.” You pulled her into a tight hug and she wept into your shoulder, damping your shirt.

Just then you heard a light knock on the door and found Chanyeol standing there, looking at the both of you. He had his lips pressed tightly while he waited for both of your attention. Once Yeseo had calmed down he placed his hands together.

“Uh, dinner’s ready. Hae Ra if you’re still not well we can bring up the food to you.” He said, his voice surprisingly soft and he didn’t really look at you when he was talking.

You tried to sit up from your bed but you couldn’t find the strength to do so. Chanyeol noticed and he nodded his head. “I’ll bring your food up then. Yeseo, let’s go down.” He said before leaving the room.

You wondered why he was looking so lifeless. Was it because he was worried about you too? But, he didn’t even look at you. Was he still angry at you? You were frustrated with all the questions that kept popping into your mind. You looked at Yeseo who was still hesitant to leave. You clicked your tongue and gently pushed her arm.

“Go, eat. I’ll be fine.” You told her. She bit her lip and nodded before leaving. “I’ll come up as soon as I’m done okay?” she said before closing the door.

You sighed stared at the ceiling.

Why is everyone making such a big deal out of this? What was Yeseo so worried about? I’m alive aren’t I? Kyungsoo saved me; shouldn’t she be gushing about how heroic he was?

Tired from all the thinking, you closed your eyes and waited for someone to send your food up. You were so hungry you could eat a whale. Maybe after eating some food, you’d feel much better.

[A/N] Good news, good news! My internship is ending in another week! And I'll have two months' break after that, which means I'll get to publish even more promptly then :) To those that had just subscribed, welcome aboard ^^

On a side note, Happy Eid to all my Muslim readers :)

-Mira