There are certain silent moments so heavy, it’s almost impossible to maintain them for as long as it was suggested. But sometimes, that pressure sinks you in a black hole you cannot get out of unless somebody lends their hand or throws a rope from which you can climb back up. I had none then, just my scrambled thoughts and three partners in crime: Daesung, Yuri and Byung Hee.

The kid was still the happiest among us. He’d still smile, still go round and round in circles just to make sure he had checked on everybody before he’d snooze. He’d always ask if we ate, if we’re still hungry, if we’re thirsty or if there’s anything else he could do. Sometimes he’d cry after his necklace and say that Seungri wasn’t a bad guy and that it was just the reapers’ fault that pushed him around and he had no other choice. I promised Seungri to keep our talk between us, so I couldn’t agree with the kid. He’d make the fire then complain that there were some cities without guardian reapers, so we could very well hide in there rather than in the woods. And not once have we tried to shut him up. We needed something to remind us we were alive and not ghosts stuck with only despair and agony.

Yuri on the other hand was the complete opposite. She wouldn’t speak, she barely ate and drank and wouldn’t dare take the lead like she always had done. Daesung said she was mourning. That angered me so much that I didn’t talk with the idiot for three days straight. I made sure she was at least clothed properly for the cold winter. I’m a really bad daughter. It was mostly my fault. Had I not saw the golden eagle upon the sky, I might have never brought Byung Hee into our life. Of course we were sent after his tail, but that could have waited. Everything could have waited.

We were fugitives trapped in an old house. Snow had fallen an entire week and I couldn’t help wonder why it was so damn white.

I hate that color.

“We need to talk.”

More than everything, I hate the other world and anything related to it. The Keeper turned his glacial eyes away from the window.

“About?”

“What are you?” I came closer with my arms wrapped over my chest. Daesung went after wood and Yuri had fallen to slumber despite her protests. With a temporary barrier, there was absolutely no one that could hear us. It was time for a long chat between me and the man.

“I am a Keeper,” he scorned and that was the last drop.

“WHAT THE IS A KEEPER?! WHAT THE IS ALL THIS?!” I couldn’t control my reactions anymore. “WHY THE ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?! DO YOU THINK LIFE’S A ING GAME THAT YOU CAN JUST PLAY WHENEVER YOU’RE BORED?!” he only stared “DO YOU?!”

“You’re crying.”

“Of course I’m crying you !” his chest became my punching bag “Because we’re stuck in this ing dump, because Yuri’s not Yuri, because that ing kid is trying to look strong, but he’s just as scared as us and because...” I cried my eyes out “...and because Jung Min is no longer here.”

“What does...?”

“You remember your past life, don’t you?” he nodded “Then why the don’t you also remember how it was to be human?! I’m only helping you because I think that’s the right thing to do and you don’t even ing care!”

“Sooyoung, I...”

“NO!” I pointed my finger as the Keeper kept his gaze on me “Don’t you ing call my name, you hear me?”

“What should I call you then?”

“I don’t know,” I laughed. Great... just... amazing. “How about a woman that has nothing better to do than to whine on and on about her life? I’m just a worthless human in your eyes. How about that? Call me a worthless human.”

I shouldn’t cry. I swore to be stronger.

Know what? it! It’s my right to cry as much as I want because it’s something humane.

Argh, wouldn’t it had been easier if I disappeared for good and never returned? Byung Hee embraced me out of nowhere. The scent of reapers I was so used to had never been around him. A sweet fragrance replaced that of burnt wood as I carried on sobbing.

---

Daesung came back with enough fire wood and some supplies from the nearby town. I didn’t feel like eating, so I left my share to the kid and Yuri for when she’d wake up. Byung Hee joined us with no trace of blue shade in his orbs. He sat between us, grabbed a stick and fixed the fire.

“Listen now,” I was so tired, but I had to pay attention. He placed the stick above the flames. They twisted until they formed a circle cut in three. “The Other World, as you call it, is sectioned in three.” We watched in fascination as the circle split in said three parts. Byung Hee poked the lower one with the stick. “At the base, we have Carriers and Seekers. I believe you are familiar with them,” he trailed off, inhaled and then continued. “Jung Min was...” he looked at me “...is a Seeker. Their main job is to search for spirits and dispose of them, so their energies do not represent a surplus in the Between.”

“Huh?” Daesung blinked.

“Look...” he mumbled “If there are too many wandering spirits, it ruins the balance of life and death. Got it?” We nodded. “Good.” He cleared his voice “Seekers are stronger than Carriers, but usually weaker than those in the middle and upper layers.” He waved the stick at the circle’s second part. “The middle section has Warriors and Watchers. Warriors form the legions you have seen back at the house and Watchers are our spies, if you will. They have cognitive abilities that are good in battle, but we mainly use them to have a glimpse in the future, kind of like our oracles.”

“Sooo...” Daesung pondered “Seungri was a Warrior?”

“Yes,” he waved the stick again. The upper section became bigger. “And this is where Keepers are. Our anatomy is different from the rest, so we also harvest energy differently.”

“Red eyes, blue eyes...” I murmured. Byung Hee softly smiled.

“Yes. Red eyes for the lower section, blue eyes for the higher one.”

“What about the middle?” Daesung scratched his head. I almost laughed because I knew he didn’t understand a thing, but was trying hard to look interested. Maybe I should have laughed. It could take some of the weight that was attached to my lungs and made breathing difficult.

“You know...” Byung Hee coughed “...I never knew.”

“Are you serious?”

And there it was, the chuckle that had been stuck in my throat, just waiting to explode.

I didn’t see the Keeper smiling. I didn’t see Daesung smiling.

All I saw was Jung Min winking and giving me thumbs up. I saw Jung Min jumping around like an excited bunny while he gave me great news or told me one of his crazy stories. I saw Jung Min’s worried look whenever I acted like an insolent child and got myself in trouble. I could see Jung Min sigh and then shake his head as I once again did something stupid. I could see Jung Min flirt like an with his own daughter and then brush it off and tell me that no matter what, he’d first and first be my friend because nobody deserves to be alone in the world. Then he’d give me the biggest smile in the world and kiss my forehead.

Why are my cheeks wet?

“...Jessica,” Yuri’s voice startled me. “We need to find Jessica.”