When we reached the other side, Daesung persuaded me into changing positions. I was dangling off his back as we went through the melting snow. Byung Hee wasted all of his energy, so he couldn’t use his wings. We weren’t far from Jessica’s cottage. Tired from everything that happened, nobody spoke until we reached the middle of the road. It was hard to adjust back to the brilliant sun above us and the snow which fell on my head after every breeze. Those darn trees weren’t doing their job very well.

“You know,” I mumbled near Daesung’s ear “I want to meet the Queen one day.” His blonde locks tickled my nose. I tried, hard not to sneeze, or else, Daesung would get a nasty surprise as a reward.

“What for?” he questioned without moving his head once from Byung Hee’s back.

“Why not?” I mumbled again and watched bored the dark green and white scenery. I could hear a rapid stream becoming louder and louder as we advanced. “I mean, she and I are the same, aren’t we? The Queen makes important decisions that affect everybody in the land...” maybe that comparison wasn’t the best there is, but I went with it anyway “and I do the same. The difference is that I have to make a decision for three worlds instead of just one empire.” His hair tickled again my nose. Ugh, I should really give him a haircut. “So I want to meet her one day.”

“But,” Daesung paused for a couple of steps “you already are a Queen, why do you want to meet another?”

“Hmmm?” I nuzzled his hair. It was sooo soft.

“I mean,” seeing his face wasn’t necessary, I knew Daesung was smiling like an idiot “you’re my Queen and I’m your humble servant. Wherever you go, I follow. Whatever you order, I’ll do it. So you’re already a Queen too...” I lifted my head a little as Daesung turned his and tried to see me through the corner of his eye “you’re my Queen.”

Byung Hee snorted. I didn’t.

“But I don’t want a servant...” the chimney of Jessica's cottage appeared in the horizon. We were getting closer. “I want a friend.” I strengthened the embrace around Daesung’s body and could feel my heart pounding at my ribcage. “I want someone who’s there because he wants to. I want someone who genuinely smiles because he’s happy around me, not because he wants to make me feel good...” we stopped. Noises and screams came from the cottage. “I want...” before I could continue my speech, Daesung and Byung Hee sped forward. I wanted to tell him that it was stupid to get in the lion’s cage, but they wouldn’t have listened anyway.

Instead, my anxiety grew and grew.

I wish for Daesung to stop pretending. I wish for him to start showing his real feelings. And when the tears behind his eyes become too heavy, I wished he’d let go for once and release some of that pressure. I wish Daesung would smile because he’s filled with the joys of the world, not because I’m moody and he wants to cheer me up.

Most importantly, I wish Daesung would let go of me.

I know he likes me. I know he wants to protect me. But I’m also sure that he should live his second life the way he wanted. He should go explore around, he should try to discover new things and enjoy every small detail he’d come across. Instead, he’s strapped to me because I’m too afraid and I keep on running to avoid any responsibility.

I’m supposed to be the mature one in our relationship, the one with the bigger year and the one with the most to learn from life, but truthfully... Daesung has always been the one among us two which knew exactly what and when, how and why.

As we were crossing the last kilometer until we'd see the cottage, I finally realized something. I’m not weak. I’m stronger than I thought. And it was time to put those powers to good use and free everybody from ever having to clean my mistakes. It was time I faced my fears and started accepting that it could be worse and I shouldn't stop because of every single problem which arose before me.

It was time I became the Sooyoung I was meant to be.

My hands grabbed Daesung’s shoulders in mid-running and I jumped off his back. Losing my balance for a second, I regained it in time to keep up with the boys. Daesung gave me a weird look before he returned to the road ahead. I winked and sped up, taking the lead.

“MOVE IT SLOWPOKES!” I yelled on top of my lungs. “WE HAVE REAPERS TO BEAT AND YURI TO IMPRESS, DON’T BE LAZY!”

Too bad that I hadn’t paid attention and the first thing that I caught in the clearing wasn’t Jessica’s cottage.

I slowed down, stopped for good and stared.

Blood mixed with snow near what looked like Yuri's body.

Seungri stared back with his blade dripping red.

I...  

I went mad and cried with my flaming white fist aiming at him.

omg I'm so late, so late... I'm sooo sorry, I was a little stuck on this chapter because it's pretty much a transition chapter and those , don't they? BUT NOW I'M BACK... and I need to finish Karma before 6th Jan or else I'll be doomed with the nearing exams .__. *hugs for everyone for still being here* /the new editor hates me.