Epilogue [1]

I heard the subtle beep from my alarm clock and I immediately turned it off before it grew louder and louder. I opened my eyes and felt my heart pounding with…what? Excitement? Anxiety? Fear? I was supposed to meet Sunggyu today. He wanted to pick me up, but I told him that I could take the subway and meet him wherever he wanted.

“Alright then,” He said from the telephone last night, “Would you want us to meet at school?”

“School?” I echoed. He was trying to bring all the memories back. He knew I loved them. 

“Yeah, high school. Anywhere would work for me, honestly.” He then told me. 

“No, school is fine,” I gave in, “What time do you want to meet me?”

“Seven.” 

I scoffed, seeing what he was trying to do, “Okay, I’ll see you there.” 

Thus, I woke up at six thirty this morning. It has been five years since I woke up at six thirty every morning. I felt a nostalgic rush through my veins, and although I liked it, I wasn’t sure how it would turn out today with Sunggyu. I turned off the AC, took a shower and then slipped on my white blouse and jeans. I was nervous. 

The journey to school took longer than I thought. Of course, I didn’t take into account that I was living slightly further from school as compared to my old apartment. I checked the time from my phone. It was 7:06 and I was pretty sure that Sunggyu was already there. For important things like this, he was never late. A few high school girls were sitting in front of me, white shirts and checkered skirts, the exact same design I used to wear. They had their hairs tied into a pony tail and back packs on their lap. It’s funny how when I was in high school, I used to wonder what do adults think of me, but now that I'm an adult, I can answer it. I think that they are stressed with exams and homeworks - or not. Maybe they’re planning on rushing to their class to copy the homeworks they were supposed to do but had not done so. At least that was me. Or maybe, they were anxious about that maths quiz today. That’s a lot of maybe-s. As an adult, I feel that the future gets even more uncertain as time goes on. Actually, I think there are no adults in this world. Adults are just children who are above 21, children who graduated from high school or college, children who are forced to fit into the mold of a competitive, rough world. It’s sad, but it is what it is. 

I finally arrived at school at 7:15. I saw Sunggyu leaning in front of the school gate, waiting for me. He gave me a small smile when he spotted me, “Hm, I'm not surprised you’re late.” 

I chuckled, feeling glad that we weren’t as hostile as before, “Song Nara is definitely going to be late if you ask her to meet at school.” 

He was in his jeans, and a simple black shirt. Yet he looked stunning. 

The school itself hadn’t change much. A few renovations here and there - they have a new polish for the gate, they built a small gym beside the main campus and renovated the basketball court. Aside from that, the main structure was still the same. Square and tall, beige painted. 

“Come on, it’s almost seven thirty,” Sunggyu said as he motioned me to the soccer field where students are gathering, “We don’t want to be late for the morning assembly.” 

“We do not need to attend morning assemblies anymore.” I said with a small smile on my lips I couldn’t help let out. 

Sunggyu looked at me and chuckled as we stand at the far back of the soccer field. No one noticed us, but we were still able to witness all the students and teachers standing straight chanting the school song. Among the teachers, I spotted Mr. Choi, my homeroom teacher during my second year, standing beside his students. He had not aged a day since I last saw him.  

“It’s funny how I used to hate assemblies,” Sunggyu said, “But I miss them.” 

I nodded to his sentence, “Well, I don’t really miss them.” 

“Do you miss school though?” Sunggyu’s eyes were straight to the students who just ended singing and the principal who was now on the mic with a few announcements. 

I leaned back to the wall behind us, “Of course,” I said and then added, “But I’d like to move on too. I can’t be stuck in my comfort zone all the time.” 

The male beside me nodded, “Comfort zone is a funny thing, don’t you think?” he asked and then looked at me, “You like it in there, but it doesn’t takes you anywhere.” 

“Yeah,” I agreed with him. 

We stood there until it was empty. My eyes were fixated at the school building. I spent hundreds of hours in there - eating, cheating on my homeworks and quizzes, crying and the most memorable of all, growing together as an individual with my closest friends, including Sunggyu. 

“I'm sorry,” I started, my eyes still gazing at the building in front of us, “For judging you without knowing what you’ve been through.” I had to say it sooner or later that day anyways, so I guess I’ll start early. 

Sunggyu nodded in silence before he said, “Yeah, it’s okay. I’ve forgiven you long time back anyway without you having to say it.” 

I turned my head towards him with a frown, “You’re really nice, you know.” 

Sunggyu chuckled, “Of course,” he said playfully, “I mean, I helped you out pass a lot of your tests and classes, don’t forget that.” 

I laughed with him. And a few seconds after our laughter ended, Sunggyu said in a more solemn tone, “I know I’ve said this, but I'm sorry too. For cutting you out in my life like that and not being considerate of what you feel.” 

I nodded, “It’s okay.” 

But then I felt my eyes getting hotter and felt tears threatening to fall out of it. So I closed my eyes and tilted my head up, but it didn’t work. Just so suddenly a stream of tears fell out of my eyes and I cried so badly. I slumped and sat down on the grass. Sunggyu sat down beside me and hugged me. Even his scent was so familiar - it felt like… home. The home I always run into whenever I was lost. 

“I am so sorry, Sunggyu.” I managed to say in the midsts of my sobbing.

“Shh… It’s okay Nara,” He patted my back, still hugging me, “Don’t worry about anything.” 

When I finally calmed down. I sighed and rubbed my wet eyes. 

“I'm sorry I didn’t see you as someone more than a brother when you’ve been waiting for me,” I said, “And I got really furious at you just because you drank and smoke. And that was because you were really stressed out. And that was because of me-“ 

“Stop it Nara,” He cut me gently and stood up, “Come on, let’s get some food.” 

I felt that I was back in high school all over again. He helped me stand up too and then led me to his sleek black Mercedes sedan parked near the school gate. He opened the passenger door for me and I stepped into his car. It was clean and neat, just like how Sunggyu was very organized with all of his things during high school. And the car smelled just like him. 

“Where are we eating?” I asked Sunggyu who was buckling his seat belt. 

“Wherever you want,” He said with a smile, “But I was thinking of the fried chicken restaurant we used to order from.” 

I immediately nodded, “That actually sounds good.” 

Sunggyu the radio and immediately Nell’s soothing voice filled the car. I let out a small smile, “Still Nell huh?” 

Sunggyu shrugged, “They’re still the best.” 

I chuckled, “So what do you do now? Or since you’ve came back from the states?” 

“I am a songwriter,” he said, a smile beaming on his face, “It’s not much but I'm pretty happy with it.” 

“Not much huh?” I motioned to the whole interior of the Mercedes we’re in.

Sunggyu shrugged with a smile, “I mean, there are still a lot better songwriters out there. I just jumped into this business for less than 10 years,” he said, “What about you?”

“I'm writing,” I said, “A fiction writer.”

Sunggyu nodded, “I'm not surprised,” he replied, “So you’re popular huh?” 

“Not popular enough apparently, that you didn’t know what I'm doing,” I joked and Sunggyu laughed along. 

When we arrived at the restaurant, I thank God that the place was pretty empty, considering that it was lunch time. We took a seat near the window pane and Sunggyu ordered. 

“Funny how we never actually came to the restaurant but always get their delivery,” Sunggyu said when he finished ordering for the both of us. I noticed that neither of our preference had changed. 

I nodded and with a small smile, “I know.” 

It didn’t take long for our orders to come, and we ate silently until Sunggyu decided to clear everything up.

“Do you want to know what went on after I left for the States?” He asked carefully. 

I looked at him for a few seconds before nodding my head. I was scared. 

“I left for the States and things just went down from there,” He started, “Yeah, I got a scholarship for my studies and they also provided me housing and all, but I would still have to work to buy myself food and survive. And no it wasn’t easy.” 

“What happened?” 

“It was after I got home from work, that my roommate, Steven, he offered me to drink with him. I just said yes, because why not? Drinking over there is nothing weird or to be ashamed of - well as long as you can control yourself,” he gazed down, “And I couldn’t. It was just one shot in the beginning. And then two, then three and so on until I lost count. I liked what I'm studying at school and the idea of me getting one step closer towards my dream is just fascinating. But I was lonely and was stupid enough to break off our friendship.” 

I kept on listening. And I just wanted to shout at him why didn't he just come back to Seoul when he wasn’t happy there, but when I look at the Sunggyu in front of me then, I was glad that he came back to where he was. 

“I knew I was loosing myself. So I finished two years of college over there, trying to survive and not drown. And on my third year, I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to go home. But where was my home? Would my parents even accept me? I was thinking about you the whole time, Nara, but even I couldn’t go back to you because I hurt you and it just wasn’t right,” He bit his lower lip, “I called Jieun, asking her about her whereabouts and the moment she heard my voice, I think she sobbed with happiness. She told me how she has been contacting me and asked me why I never picked up. I told her that I wanted to meet her and she said that she was in Tokyo for a long term project.”

“You went to Tokyo then?” I asked. 

Sunggyu nodded, “She picked me up at the airport and she hugged me and cried. I cried too, but even then I still thought about you, Nara. Where are you? Is Myungsoo treating you right? Have you graduated?” 

I fiddled with the ring on my finger, thinking about Samdong. Was this right? 

“So we went back to her apartment in the middle of Tokyo. It was pretty cramped, and I took the couch. But that sufficed. When we were having dinner that night, Jieun told me how she contacted you, and I told her too my feelings for you. It was the first time I talked to anyone about this, and it felt really weird but at the same time, I feel this heavy load I’ve been carrying being lifted from my back,” Sunggyu leaned back on his seat and then looked at me in the eye, “Jieun told me you’re a nice girl. She knew you were pretty bothered by her, but you were very patient. So thank you, Nara.”

I slipped a tiny smile, “That was the least I could do for her,” I said, “And then what happened in Tokyo?”

Sunggyu let out a small laughter, “A lot happened,” he answered, “I was working in a music store and I met this beautiful lady, Mayu. She wanted to fix the strings of her guitar and I happen to be the one on shift at that time. So I helped her out.” 

“You ended up going together with her?” I asked with excitement. 

Sunggyu nodded, “But we didn’t last long. I realized that with her, I get to experience all the exciting stuffs. Going for road trips and sleeping in the car, hiking, going for food hunts and all those kind of things. I was exhausted at the end of the day. She had too much energy for me.” 

“Who ended the relationship?” 

Sunggyu sighed, “Well, I had to,” he paused and then said in a small voice, “because even after all those exciting moments, you were still there, Nara.” 

I felt guilty and bad - for both Samdong and Sunggyu. I was uncomfortable with where all of this was going but I knew that if I want to hear Sunggyu’s story, I had to bear with the fact that he did really fancied me and his story would revolve a lot around me. 

“And so, with the money I earned, I started signing up for workshops and classes about songwriting, until Jieun’s project finished. We then went back to Seoul but I didn’t go back home to my parents’ place,” he continued, “Instead, I asked Jieun for a loan to rent an apartment. She was hesitant at first, but she finally gave me that loan. I got myself a tiny room and started applying for jobs. I finally got accepted as an assistant in a music production company, and two years later, I made my way up to becoming a songwriter.” 

I nodded quietly, “And you’re here now.” 

“I haven’t seen my parents in God knows how many years, but yes, here I am now.” He repeated my words with a nod too and then continued with a more cheerful tone as if nothing happened, “Are you done eating? Should we get patbingsoo?” 

I could only stare at him, still trying to process everything.

“Don’t think too much Nara,” he chuckled seeing me in this state of bewilderment, “I'm fine now and I'm happy. Come on, let’s go before we get kicked out of here.” 

I followed him to the cashier and insisted that we split the bill, but Sunggyu paid for the both of us in the end. 

“Look at you getting filthy rich,” I said as we walked out, “You would never want to treat me anything in high school.” 

He shrugged as we entered the car, “The patbingsoo is your turn.” 

“Yah!” I exclaimed and he just laughed. 

~*~

It was already five in the evening when Sunggyu dropped me back at my apartment. He parked his car and we stayed in there. I wanted to go out and bid him goodbye but I just couldn’t. I liked how it felt being with Sunggyu, it was comfort - and being engaged with Samdong right then it felt wrong. 

“You should go now,” he looked at me, “Samdong should be waiting for you.”

“We’re not living together,” I replied quietly. 

And then it was all silent again. Only the Nell’s voice from the car’s audio was heard. 

“Do you still like me, Sunggyu?” I finally took the courage to ask him. 

He stared at me for several seconds. His gaze was soft but it made me feel hot inside - I had no idea what was going on. The next second, I suddenly felt his soft lips pressing against mine. It was just like how I imagined it would be. 

And I kissed him back. 

~*~

a/n : HELLO EVERYONE!! I'm glad that I could be back here again omg!! I was just scrolling through your comments and I suddenly felt the urge to write again so thank you all for being supportive! :) I know it's been a very long time since I'm here and looking back, I think I've personally grown, especially that I am currently doing college overseas right now. I have gained and lost so many things, but most of all, my view has become broader. I hope all of you are doing well!! I'm currently in my finals week and just wow I still have the time to write this chapter HAHAHA I miss writing this fanfic tbh, and I might or might not write another chapter after this who knows LOL But I would really like to hear your comments and thoughts, especially those of you rooting for Sunggyu and Nara to be together! I hope you all have a great day! <3