Chapter Eighteen - If that's what you want 

 

 

"Yah! Why are you running so fast?" Sunggyu exclaimed in the middle of his panting as we ran up the stairs. 

 

 

How could he even ask? Didn't he know that we were freaking late?! 

 

 

I ignored him and sprinted to my class, just in time when the bell rung. I heaved and sat on my place. Sungyeol frowned to me.  

 

"You're late," 

 

I sighed as I wiped the trickles of sweat on my forehead. 

 

"Yeah," I put my bag down and took out my books along with my pencil case, "You can blame Sunggyu for that," 

 

Mrs. Jung came in and the class went silent. No body would want to be her first victim of the day. 

 

"Daehee, your homework?" She nudged her thick specs and crossed her hands. 

 

"Ah.. About that seosang-nim..." Daehee stood up and grinned clumsily.

 

Mrs. Jung approached him with, of course, her mighty stick. "Your hands," 

 

Daehee stuck out his palms and the teacher whipped her stick on it. He seemed like he was about to cry, but held it. I shivered at the scene. No, I hadn't had a taste of her whip, and I wouldn't want to. 

 

"Ouch, that ," Sungyeol whispered as he leaned his back and I shushed him off. 

 

"Yes, is there anything you would like to share with me Lee Sungyeol?" 

 

 

I felt my heart stopped for a moment when Mrs. Jung shifted her gaze on us. 

 

"Eh... Nothing, nothing," Sungyeol cleared his throat and sat straight forward. 

 

I swore, my ear caught Minjae's giggle from behind. I turned my head around as a reflex, but I could only see her gaze down her book. I sighed and looked forward again. 

 

"Okay, everyone submit their homework and we will begin class," 

 

***

 

"Nara, Nara, have you done your chemistry?" Woohyun ran from behind, with his tray of food, and sat beside me. 

 

"Stop copying her homework," Sora sneered. 

 

"You won't teach me," Woohyun pouted. 

 

"I've taught you so many times and it's like your brain can't gulp down my words," she rolled her eyes. 

 

"Oh!" Sunggyu jumped into the conversation, "It's just like when I'm teaching Nara physics!" 

 

I smacked his arms and he glared at me. Sora giggled as Woohyun wrapped his arms around her. 

 

"I've submitted it to Mrs. Jung," I said. 

 

"Woah..." Woohyun started panicking, "So from who am I supposed to copy from?" 

 

"Do it by yourself, it's easy," Hoya said. 

 

"Have you done it?" 

 

"Yes, but you're not copying from me," 

 

 

Woohyun whined, "Ahh... I'm going to be in a huge trouble," 

 

"Hm, a big one Woo," Sora teased.

 

"Ah... Why are you doing this to me?" He pouted at his girlfriend. 

 

"It's not working," she said and ate. 

 

Just then, Ailee came and sat. "Hello," she smiled and opened her lunch box. 

 

"Oh, where's Dongwoo?" Sunggyu asked while chewing.

 

"Uh... He said he got some things to do," she said, but I wasn't really buying it due to her nervous smile. 

 

"Wait... Are you on diet?" Sungyeol noticed. 

 

I took a glance at her food. Broccoli, apples and a bland potato. 

 

"Em... I'm just trying to maintain my weight," she chuckled queasily. 

 

"What?! L- look at your body! You're perfect!" I exclaimed. 

 

 

Why was she trying so hard to change something beautiful? I could guarantee that every girl in the campus, including me that was, wanted a body like Ailee's. Her curves and hips were amazing. She just smiled weakly at my comment. 

 

Then, I looked down at my body and sighed. I had put on some weight, which technically made me more potty than I already was. 

 

 

"No," Sunggyu said out of nowhere. 

 

"Huh?" I averted my gaze to him. 

 

"You are not reducing your meal," he warned.

 

I frowned, a little bit surprised that he could actually read where my mind was going, "Who says I'm going to do that?" I snapped, feeling accused. 

 

He cocked one of his eyebrows, "Let's see," 

 

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, let's see. 

 

I continued eating and while my eyes were traveling around the cafeteria subconsciously, I caught her at the corner, sitting alone with a textbook. My stomach felt hollow, and my heart felt like crying. That was when I decided I needed to talk to her after school. Like, a real, serious long talk. 

 

***

 

I knocked on the broken-white door for the third time and bit my lips nervously. 

 

"Who's there?" The door opened, unveiling a woman in her 50s which I recognized as Minjae's mother. 

 

"Oh, Nara, come in," she welcomed me with a little smile and I followed her inside before sitting on the couch. 

 

Again, there was nothing different about the house, still the same old. The only change I realized was the additional photograph of Minjae's dad hanging on the wall. 

 

"Why are you here?" I gazed up to Minjae who just emerged out of her room.

 

She looked like Minjae. The Minjae before grieving, and it made me feel better. 

 

I smiled, "We need to talk," 

 

"What's there to talk about?" She leaned on her door frame and crossed her arms. 

 

"Why you're staying away from us," I said, feeling uncomfortable that she wasn't willing to sit next to me, on the couch. 

 

"Okay. This is the last time you're going to show your face in my house," her voice was unidentifiable, sending slight shiver to my body, "I am not Minjae anymore. I am not the Minjae you know Nara. When my father passed away everything changes. The way people looked at me with sympathy, I don't like it and you know that. And yet, you're still trying to help me up. Don't you get it Nara? I don't want that!" 

 

I was too surprised with her words that I wasn't even able to blink. She wiped her tears and sniffed, "Whenever I want to paint right now, I just can't! What appears on the canvas would only be a spread of black and red shades, it's so empty! I can't get that feeling of enjoyment anymore whenever I paint! And it's just so damn frustrating! I can't concentrate on anything and I'm zoning out because I don't want you guys to keep on helping me! I don't need any help. My father told me to be an independent girl, and I'm just doing what he told me too," she shook her head and gazed up, "I'm just trying to fix everything before it's too late... again," she panted. 

 

 

I opened my mouth, about to say something but what was I supposed to say anyways? So I just nodded and left her. I was tired of trying too. If she had decided to shut herself from me, then no matter how hard I try, it would end up all in vain. 

 

Arriving at my apartment, I didn't spot Hana nor Jaeryul, so I assumed that they were doing some shopping or sight seeing. I changed my uniform and plopped myself above my bed. Minjae's words were lingering on my head. Maybe she was getting better, but it seemed like the old Minjae couldn't take over. I shifted my body and sighed. I thought I would tear up once I reached home but the fact was, I didn't feel like crying. It just felt weird. Somehow, I felt slightly pissed off with her. Well yeah, maybe it was my fault that I was trying so hard although she told me not to, but still, the way she talked to me wasn't really tolerable. I laid on my bed for the next one hour, or two, or maybe three, I couldn't tell, when I decided to go out with my notebook. 

 

 

I covered my hair with the black hoodie and walked down the street, while my eyes were scanning for a bench to sit on. I found a lonely one and decided to sit on it. Taking out my notebook and pen, I flipped the pages and stopped at a blank page. I was about to write when I felt a force on the chair. A familiar cologne entered my nostrils. I froze. 

 

"Are you ready to talk to me?" He asked and clicked his camera.

 

I looked up slowly, my heart beating faster and faster.

 

"I have a lot to say," he put down his camera and met my eyes. 

 

I bit my lips and sighed nervously, "Okay, let's talk," I spoke. 

 

 

---

 

 

Hello ^^

have a great Lunar new year people! 

 

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