Days have passed and tomorrow is finally the day that everyone has been waiting for. But today its not actually the day that I wanted. Tomorrow I will march in the ceremony without Chanyeol. He can't even be here just to see us. He's really not doing good. When I ran out the hospital the other day. I missed lot of things that the doctor said to Mrs. Park but Im glad that she tells me everything.

"He only have 3 months to live."

"He only have 3 months to live."

"He only have 3 months to live."

 I still remember the feelings that I felt when Mrs. Park told me that. I don't know what would happen to me after 3 months. Knowing that I only have 100 days with Chanyeol I should really not waste a second. I have to make him happy for 100 days. But isn't that unfair? When I finally found that someone to share my life with. That someone who can be with me everyday and everynight. Why does he have to go this quick. We havent even started our plans for the future yet. After graduation we both promise to go to the park and watch the beautiful sky while the cherry blossoms were blooming. We pomised to be with each other till death do us part. Well I think he really mean it when we said the Death part. It's just unacceptable. If I could just turn the time to slow motion then it will be better. Then I will have more time with him. Or maybe I could stop it when I want to stare at his perfect face. Rewind it to see our happy moments again. And rewind it over and over again so that it never ends. I will never fast forward it knowing that I will be by myself in the future.

Please Chanyeol. Don't go that fast. I don't know what I'll do knowing that there's no giant around me anymore. Please.

--

(March 31 2014) Graduation Day

I woke up earlier than I should today. I didn't bother to take a shower and I quickly went out the house and head to the hospital. It's still early so I wanted to see Chanyeol before I get ready for the Garduation Day. I was on my way there when I saw a store. I saw an amazing camera that for sure Chanyeol will love. I know how he loves to take pictures so I didn't hesitate to buy it and ask the shop owner to wrap it so I can give it to him nicely with a gift wrapper. It's my present for him even if its not his birthday yet. Its still a long wait before his birthday. That got me thinking for a moment. Will he still be here on his birthday? Will he still be able to celebrate it with us? Now that I know or should I say everyone knows that the doctor already said that he'll only live for 100days. When I got to the hospital I quickly hugged him that makes him awake. He was still sleeping because its still early but I just wanted to drop by and see him before I go and get ready for the last day of school. He gave me a very sweet smile that I haven't seen for ages and Im so glad he smiled again because of me. I love seeing that smile. The smile that I fall inlove with.

"Thankyou baek. Can you do a wacky for me now?" I smiled and do my pose as he told me.

*click* *click*

We took plenty of pictures together before I left and went home. When I got home my parents and my brother were already getting ready for this special day of mine.

"Baek the shower is ready. Go quickly or else we'll get late." My mom shouted from her room when she saw me walked passed.

"Nae."

When I got out the shower it was freezing cold. I gritted my teeth and got goosebumps on my skin. I quickly turn the heater on and get dressed. My parents and my brother were already in the car waiting for me. When I was about to go out my room I feel like im forgetting something so I wonder around my room to see what it is only to find out that I don't have my phone in my pocket yet. I looked at the bathroom to check if I left it there when I took a shower and play a song while in there but it isnt. I looked at the drawers and it isn't there.

*ringing*

Lucky its ringing it'll be easier for me to find it now that I know it's just in my room. I laughed at myself when I saw it under my towel that was on my bed. Ow silly me. If I just hanged my towel in the first place then I wouldn't have to look for it. It was mom who's ringing me maybe they got bored waiting for me in the car already.

At the Graduation Ceremony, everyone looked good. We all have our proper uniform on. Together with our proper shoes. Everyone is on their good side today. No one is being silly or stupid. Knowing that their parents were all here. And I know that we all feel the same way as well. Happy but sad. Happy because we already finish highschool life and now we can all start our new life in the university. Sad because we have to take different paths. We'll be seperated from our close friends. And for me Sad because Chanyeol isn't here today with us. With me. The ceremony has started and I could feel the tense in the auditorium.

In an hour the ceremony has ended. We shed a tear, we shared laughter and smiles while taking pictures. We talked about the past when we all first meet. The principal handed our diplomas and we took it proudly together with our parents. I went to the hospital straight after the ceremony only to find out that Chanyeol isn't there. He is currently in a room where they need to check him. He's in critical condition. Tomorrow his 100 days will start. Before I always look forward for tomorrows but today I don't want it anymore. Knowing that every tomorrow will lessen Chanyeol days to live.

Im supposed to be happy today because finally I could start fullfiling my dreams but no. Im more like a sick person for what Im feeling right now. Its a mixed emotions. How can I be happy if hes not doing fine. I want to spend the rest of my life with him but how can I now? We should spend our 100 days to the fullest. I dont want him to be sad. I dont want to see him dying in pain but I will make him the happiest even if its his last second in this world.

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Annyeong! Mianhe guyth to keep you waiting for so long and to give you a very short update. Im so busy enrolling myself at school. I have to go back everyday to get the deans to sign my form so yeah. :*