Byul

I felt the tears well up in my eyes, Kyuhyun asked the question I was most afraid of people asking, because I couldn't answer it. I didn't care, I walked past him quickly. The way he had his mouth open looked like he was about to say something, suddenly his eyes shut, and he looked apologetic. I almost felt sorry for him, that he wants to talk to such a sharp person like me.

I speeded up and locked myself in my dressing room, I took off my bandages. I caught my own reflection in the mirror. Such small boney arms and legs, and a bigger tummy. I felt like the baby was a burden. But I still it lovingly. Could I tell him, that I was pregnant? How would he see me, then, what would he think of me?

I put on my coat, a big one which covered me completely, during this I got a text 'R U alright. Sorry if I upset  U' from Kyuhyun, I smiled at his cute text speak. I texted back a quick answer and made my way out into the cold darkness. I had always been the last to leave in the company. 

As I said before, the baby was a burden, so I contemplated an abortion many times, but although I look heartless, I couldn't kill a life. At the beginning I planned to raise the baby as a single parent, and give it what ever I can. That isn't possible with my career, it would mean maternity leave, which would stop my career for a long time; the company might have even replaced me.

There was a smaller ballet studios on the opposite side of the town, which I passed everyday on my way to work and back. In the warmth of my car, I watched the little girls practicing with their teacher, thinking that was once me, and they all have that dream to become a dancer. I looked at their silly mistakes, laughing and goofing around, and I had tears in my eyes for some reason. The light turned green and I drove on, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

I ripped open the packet of biscuits and ate about 8 for dinner. I had purposely brought the cheapest type, 1, to save money, and it was always the type Hanmin brought me. I had no one to love, I needed something to remind me of a thing I once loved. They were plain, vanilla flavoured, they stuck to my throat and I washed it down with cold water. We met when he wasn't too rich, his treats were always the cheap snacks, like the ones I was eating. I had gotten used to the flavour and texture.

After, took a quick shower. I could see my stomach gently poking out as I lathered on shower gel. I knew I wasn't able to conceal it for long.

I didn't know if it was water or tears in my eyes as I washed my hair

My phone suddenly buzzed after I took my shower, I was drying my hair.

"That Kyuhyun boy again." I sighed to myself. I smirked at the fact he wanted to meet me at this time of night, but I did feel sorry for leaving him that afternoon. I texted back saying I would, then I got dressed in a thin coat, jogging bottoms and trainers. I usually picked carefully, but this time I just threw on anything, because I felt like this guy had seen me in casual clothes before. 

My hair was wet, and the wind blew lightly between the loose strands. I had a habit of walking quickly, so that's what I did as I went to my local park to meet him. I saw him, looking at my direction, sitting on a bench and giving me a soft smile. His eyes were shining, as I approached him, he pulled me in close to his body and envoloped me in a hug. I felt my head go heavy and rest on his shoulder. His coat was thick, and it was warm against my cold face.

"I'm sorry for asking you that question today." He whispered  with his head buried in my hair, even though it was wet. I was on the verge of tears, this was the warmest hug I had gotten in a long time since Hanmin left. 

"I'm fine. Really, don't worry about it." I said, still in his arms, " Is that all you came to say?"

"No, but put this on, it's cold." He said, taking off his scarf and draping it around me. "Your hair is wet, you should have told me, then I would have come over to you."

"How did you know where I live?"

"GPS Tracker." He smiled.

"I just wanted to ask-" 

I didn't here the end of that sentence. I had fainted, apparently, which was why my head felt so heavy, because I walked in the cold with wet hair and thin clothes. The next I knew, I was on Kyuhyun's back.