Byul

My stomach felt even bigger than before as I wrapped my bandages tightly. I put on a loose t-shirt and comfortable tracksuit bottoms. I packed my pointe shoes and a snack, as I was always hungry then. 

So I had my rehearsal at 7.30am until 12.30, then I had another private session with a senior until 3pm. My break was scheduled to be until 3.30. After my break the practice with Giselle cast started again. And at 6pm, I had a evening class with a group of older girls. 

"." I cursed to myself, remembering I had invited Kyuhyun as I looked at a text he had sent me this morning : 'Bringing the boys with me. Is that alright?'

I texted a simple 'yes', then headed to the studios. It was colder than yesterday, and raining too. I shielded my belly from the weather. There was barely anyone on the streets and it was still dark.

"Good morning Byul unni!" Chirped the new dancer, Soyeon. I greeted her back and went to the dressing rooms, I tied my hair back into a bun, then went down the corridor into the lifts. I saw Nara.

"What are you doing here so early?" I asked.

"You're not the only person that can be early."

"The winter show auditions are coming up." I said, wanting to see what she would provoke me with next.

"I know, I'm going to get the main part." She smirked.

"But how can you be so sure?" 

"Daddy'll pay."

This elevator was being so slow today, at least it felt like it.

"I heard you invited Super Junior to watch my class."She continued, "Why?"

"Because you've been working so hard lately." I said, and she replied by a smirk, she had never used formal language to me since we met.

"You're gaining so much weight lately, dancers shouldn't be like that" She remarked, "They should be thin like me."

"How much do you know about dancing? How long have you danced for? Nara, I know what I'm talking about." I said, then got off the lift. The studios were to the left of the lift, and as I pushed open the door, Junseo, my dance partner rushed over and smiled, "Good morning! Did you sleep well?" He was always so excitable, and nearly all of the dancers have told me he has a thing for me. To be honest, I knew a long time ago, he always comes and greets me in the morning, carries my bags, walks me to my car, and gives me gifts on the birthday. But I still like him as a friend.

Our day always starts so early, and amongst the hoobae's yawns and tired eyes, we begin our warm-up. This always lasts for about 45 minutes.

Afterwards the cast meet with the choreographer, and we begin with act 1. Here Giselle is a peasant girl, she meets with a duke, who is disguised as a peasant. Although she was warned, she carries on loving the duke, even though she has bad health. His identity is revealed and Giselle dies in his arms.

"Junseo! Show your emotion for her, your love for Giselle." Said Choreographer Jo. Junseo enthusiastically nods, and returns to his performance face. I dance as well as I can, hoping none of the cast will feel my bump and they lift me.  At the end of the rehearsal, the choreographer said well done to everyone, and we packed up. The juniors and rest of the cast leave, as their schedule isn't as tough as a lead role. "Bye sunbae!" They echo as they leave.

" So that went well didn't it?" Junseo said, as we waited for the seniors who danced the roles last time.

"Yes, you were really good." I said after taking a sip of water.

"Are you going to the Sleeping Beauty auditions tonight?" 

"No, I have a class."

"Ah, I can ask the judges to wait and save you the last spot!"

"No, but thank you, I don't think I'll have much time." I said, with a hint of disappointment. That production had performances when my baby would be born, so an obvious no.

"Then next time." He said encouragingly. The seniors were late. Really late. So our private session only lasted 2 hours. 

"And plie, jump, TIGHT BYUL, TIGHT BYUL." One of them shouted as I tightened my muscles.

"JUMP, JUMP and ending!" The senior was shouting so loud you could tell even the pianist was getting annoyed. my belly was getting in the way of my stretch. One of them actually came to push me down. Afterwards, I felt so tired, pregnancy really kicked in. I had nausea as well, every morning. I had no one to take care of me, not even a pet.

Since my break was so short, I didn't take off my bandage. I had 'smart' clothes in my dressing room, a blazer and a skinny jeans. I went out of the building, into the convinience store opposite our building. I walked slowly around the suprisingly big corner shop. I grabbed 5 packets of ramyun, eggs, milk, a small packet of rice and some biscuits. 

"Aigoo, you're the ballerina, aren't you?" Asked the cute Ahjumma at the counter. 

"Yes, eommoni, our headquaters is just opposite."

"Keep dancing well!" She called as I left. The building inside felt to warm compared to outside, I got changed into my practice clothes, and I had another rehearsal with the full cast, I spent most of the time watching, as the choreographers stood and adjusted the positions of the dancers, I smiled, remembering that I was once a dancer hoobae like them.

It feels rewarding. To have people about 18 look up to you so much.

Time flies, doesn't it? It was already six, time for my evening class. But before that class, I felt sick in the stomach, I wretched, then ran to the toilets and puked. I rinsed out my mouth with water, but it left a bitter after taste. I checked my reflection, I was sickly pale. I put my hands onto my cheeks, trying to warm them up, but my hands were so cold too.

When I arrived at the practice room, it was bustling with noise; the guys were already there. Nara was sitting on Kyuhyun's lap they were all talking.

"Miss Jeon!" Kyuhyun suddenly said, standing up. The others all stood up and bowed, Nara pushed her way to the front. I lead the class through a warm up and then worked on their pointe work. 

Nara kept smiling at Kyuhyun, and he was forced to have a fixed smile and be cute to her. Instead of being cutesy with her, his eyes were fixed on his phone.

After the class ended, Kyuhyun came up to me when everyone had left.