The Intricacies of Gift-Giving by amusingmurdermachine
VᴇʀꜱᴀEᴍᴇʀɢᴇ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ꜱʜᴏᴘ。 — busy!
the intricacies of gift-giving by amusingmurdermachine
title
I'd say the title fits, I mean... Intricacies, or being intricate, means very complex or detailed. As stated, Chanyeol would give really crazy, or detailed, gifts in the past. There's really not much else to write about the title since, honestly, it's pretty good. It matches the story and is fairly eye-catching.
description/foreword
The description isn't bad overall, but is pretty much taken from the story. So you could either leave it as is, which isn't a bad option, or you could always make it a shorter description (sometimes they only need to be a sentence or two long). Either way is fine, really, but the one thing about the description is that it makes Krystal seem, somewhat, like a HAHAH. I only say that because the way it's perceived is that she only wants a gift from Chanyeol. An obvious wrong first impression from myself but that's how I saw her (that, of course, changed from reading it).
plot
There was a line that actually managed to make me laugh. "Do I get to be the father?" Like, I don't know, that just made me laugh. Moving on, it was somewhat hard to find the point of the story until I realized, this story can really teach a lesson. What I mean by that is that Krystal seemingly always expected her boyfriend to do something outlandish in terms of gifts, just because he was like that. But, because Krystal would 'scold' him for it, even if she did appreciate it, he figured he wouldn't do it, leading to disappointment. Like in the description, Krystal says "give me my gift already", expecting to get something big from him. When he says he doesn't give her anything, she doesn't believe him at first and even proceeds to be upset about it.
I think the lesson this story can teach is one of two things.
A) To be happy with what you have/what you get. -- Krystal was obviously upset because she expected him to get her something huge when she seemingly disapproved of it each time it happened, which could give Chanyeol the wrong idea and I believe he even said that he thought she didn't like it.
B) To not always expect something. -- Krystal expects to get something, like I said before, and when she doesn't get it, she's disappointed, angry/upset. Like Krystal tried, she tried to tell herself that she should be happy that she's spending the day with him, even if there is nothing huge happened. I think that was a good lesson to teach, too.
writing style/flow
Looking at writing style, I have no complaints. Your grammar is very good and you use descriptions quite well, so really, just keep doing what you're doing in this aspect, it's great.
For flow, I don't really have any complaints either. The story seemed to flow well and nothing was choppy or confusing. Usually when I look at flow, I tend to see if there's weird time jumps or just.. weird events happening in general that don't line up. Everything here was in order and went together well.
characterization
Honestly, I felt like this might have been lack more than the other places. Mainly because, even after reading, I still don't feel like I know these characters. If they weren't Krystal and Chanyeol and were just random OC's, per se, then I wouldn't feel like I knew anything. I feel like there could be more to expand on here, and maybe you are, but things like: why does Chanyeol do those big surprises for her in the first place? Is there like a background story to it or does he just do it because he can? I don't remember if it mentioned how they met, either. Maybe adding a flashback to how they met could work. I just didn't feel like I knew or related to either of the characters.
personal enjoyment
Personally not my cup of tea but it's not a bad story, I believe it's incomplete? I wasn't sure. For three chapters, it's good as is. I mean, there's still stuff that can be added with later chapters, if you ever plan on doing that, such as deeveloping the characters a little more. I personally didn't feel like I knew them, but that was just me. I like to be able to relate to the characters of stories I'm reading or at least feel like I know them. That might just be me though. OVERALL, the story isn't bad and I say is pretty decent for what it is.
total of [0/0]
others: no grade given // don't forget to credit the shop!
I'd say the title fits, I mean... Intricacies, or being intricate, means very complex or detailed. As stated, Chanyeol would give really crazy, or detailed, gifts in the past. There's really not much else to write about the title since, honestly, it's pretty good. It matches the story and is fairly eye-catching.
description/foreword
The description isn't bad overall, but is pretty much taken from the story. So you could either leave it as is, which isn't a bad option, or you could always make it a shorter description (sometimes they only need to be a sentence or two long). Either way is fine, really, but the one thing about the description is that it makes Krystal seem, somewhat, like a HAHAH. I only say that because the way it's perceived is that she only wants a gift from Chanyeol. An obvious wrong first impression from myself but that's how I saw her (that, of course, changed from reading it).
plot
There was a line that actually managed to make me laugh. "Do I get to be the father?" Like, I don't know, that just made me laugh. Moving on, it was somewhat hard to find the point of the story until I realized, this story can really teach a lesson. What I mean by that is that Krystal seemingly always expected her boyfriend to do something outlandish in terms of gifts, just because he was like that. But, because Krystal would 'scold' him for it, even if she did appreciate it, he figured he wouldn't do it, leading to disappointment. Like in the description, Krystal says "give me my gift already", expecting to get something big from him. When he says he doesn't give her anything, she doesn't believe him at first and even proceeds to be upset about it.
I think the lesson this story can teach is one of two things.
A) To be happy with what you have/what you get. -- Krystal was obviously upset because she expected him to get her something huge when she seemingly disapproved of it each time it happened, which could give Chanyeol the wrong idea and I believe he even said that he thought she didn't like it.
B) To not always expect something. -- Krystal expects to get something, like I said before, and when she doesn't get it, she's disappointed, angry/upset. Like Krystal tried, she tried to tell herself that she should be happy that she's spending the day with him, even if there is nothing huge happened. I think that was a good lesson to teach, too.
writing style/flow
Looking at writing style, I have no complaints. Your grammar is very good and you use descriptions quite well, so really, just keep doing what you're doing in this aspect, it's great.
For flow, I don't really have any complaints either. The story seemed to flow well and nothing was choppy or confusing. Usually when I look at flow, I tend to see if there's weird time jumps or just.. weird events happening in general that don't line up. Everything here was in order and went together well.
characterization
Honestly, I felt like this might have been lack more than the other places. Mainly because, even after reading, I still don't feel like I know these characters. If they weren't Krystal and Chanyeol and were just random OC's, per se, then I wouldn't feel like I knew anything. I feel like there could be more to expand on here, and maybe you are, but things like: why does Chanyeol do those big surprises for her in the first place? Is there like a background story to it or does he just do it because he can? I don't remember if it mentioned how they met, either. Maybe adding a flashback to how they met could work. I just didn't feel like I knew or related to either of the characters.
personal enjoyment
Personally not my cup of tea but it's not a bad story, I believe it's incomplete? I wasn't sure. For three chapters, it's good as is. I mean, there's still stuff that can be added with later chapters, if you ever plan on doing that, such as deeveloping the characters a little more. I personally didn't feel like I knew them, but that was just me. I like to be able to relate to the characters of stories I'm reading or at least feel like I know them. That might just be me though. OVERALL, the story isn't bad and I say is pretty decent for what it is.
total of [0/0]
others: no grade given // don't forget to credit the shop!
With school starting back up again soon, I probably won't be doing many reviews, if at all. We'll see about it though. Thank you for everyone who has requested so far and over the years, I've really learned a lot from reviewing stories and shiz. ♥
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