Blue 2.0 by Deer-and-Bread
VᴇʀꜱᴀEᴍᴇʀɢᴇ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ꜱʜᴏᴘ。 — busy!
blue 2.0 by deer-and-bread
title [4/5]
I'm not gonna lie, every time I glanced at the title, I kept singing "I'm Blue" in my head, haha. Anywho, the title is pretty short which, in my opinion, is better than a title that is a complete mouthful. Now if the title was just 'Blue', I feel like that'd be a fairly weak and forgettable title since I'm sure there are many other stories of the same title. I even googled your title to see if anything else came up, and no. Your story and I believe a writing contest popped up so I'd say the title is good as is. After reading it, the title with 2.0 makes sense in it.
description/foreword [10/10]
Reading the description immediately made me think of the video game 'Detroit: Become Human' which, of course, made me want to read it a little more since that video game was pure genius. Now, they're probably not the same at all but the concept of androids in society is pretty interesting and makes me wonder where we might be in the future. Will androids be amongst us? You never know. Also the aesthetic of the description is pretty damn amazing. Moving on, the story sounds fairly intriguing just by the small description, really. Again, I really like the android concept so of course that will cater to me more as a reader compared to someone who may not like the concept as much. I liked the description, it's solid.
plot [50/50]
I found the plot interesting. At first I wasn't sure where this kind of story would go, but after a few chapters, you kind of understand what's going on. Especially with 2.0, she's meant to be a replacement for someone named Soojin (I believe the name was, I'm too lazy to check) who we don't know much about yet. I'm assuming she's a dead lover to Baekhyun and that Baekhyun is having a hard time letting go of her. She might not be dead, but my first assumption is that she is. Baekhyun seems definitely attached but also a little deluded. When he called Yifan up about 2.0 throwing up food and him telling Baekhyun that she wasn't programmed to digest food, Baekhyun says "that's not normal", so I do think he's a little deluded and is allowing his love for the other woman to blind him into not realizing that this isn't a human, it's a program. Where the plot will head in the future chapters, I'm not sure, but I found this concept really interesting overall. Another thing I found pretty interesting and clever is from a comment I read when scrolling down. They mentioned how she said "whiteorange" and how she says that because she doesn't know the word for it. I found that pretty clever and wouldn't have caught onto that if I didn't read it, so that commenter is obviously more observant than myself, haha.
writing style/flow [20/20]
I found the writing style to be kind of interesting actually, mainly because you're getting the thoughts of this... android (to use that term) who doesn't know things. The shorter chapters I see are usually dull, but these ones are really clever. I think your writing style suits the style you're writing, so good job.
As for the flow, I don't think there's really anything wrong with it. You set a direction for your story and every chapter is something new, so no complaints from me.
characterization [9/10]
I feel like characterization might be slightly harder to talk about since I don't think characterization is really a main focus here. What I mean by that is, it's more about the story itself rather the characters in it. I can't say much about the characters, but for 2.0, I can say that I think you portrayed the AI fairly well, she doesn't fully understand human concepts and I like how you describe that she has a 'screen', like, for example, she could see how many times Baekhyun told her a certain thing or that she could pull up the definition of something right in front of her. That was pretty cool.
As I said before, I do believe Baekhyun seemingly has some attachment issues to whoever Soojin was to him before. Whether she's a dead lover or an ex lover, he doesn't seem like he can really let go. He doesn't seem to accept that she's not 'normal' or like a human being would be, since, well, she's not one. It makes me a little more curious about his character.
personal enjoyment [5/5]
I enjoyed it, personally. I like the concept of androids in human life/amongst humans so seeing this made me like it. I do want to know more but the story isn't finished to my dismay, haha. I think you did a fairly good job with the story overall and it was short enough for me to read all that was there.
total of [98/100]
others: Sorry for the wait. I've been really lazy/demotivated lately to do reviews but I'm up and at it right now (kind of...). If you have any questions, let me know, and don't forget to credit the shop!
I'm not gonna lie, every time I glanced at the title, I kept singing "I'm Blue" in my head, haha. Anywho, the title is pretty short which, in my opinion, is better than a title that is a complete mouthful. Now if the title was just 'Blue', I feel like that'd be a fairly weak and forgettable title since I'm sure there are many other stories of the same title. I even googled your title to see if anything else came up, and no. Your story and I believe a writing contest popped up so I'd say the title is good as is. After reading it, the title with 2.0 makes sense in it.
description/foreword [10/10]
Reading the description immediately made me think of the video game 'Detroit: Become Human' which, of course, made me want to read it a little more since that video game was pure genius. Now, they're probably not the same at all but the concept of androids in society is pretty interesting and makes me wonder where we might be in the future. Will androids be amongst us? You never know. Also the aesthetic of the description is pretty damn amazing. Moving on, the story sounds fairly intriguing just by the small description, really. Again, I really like the android concept so of course that will cater to me more as a reader compared to someone who may not like the concept as much. I liked the description, it's solid.
plot [50/50]
I found the plot interesting. At first I wasn't sure where this kind of story would go, but after a few chapters, you kind of understand what's going on. Especially with 2.0, she's meant to be a replacement for someone named Soojin (I believe the name was, I'm too lazy to check) who we don't know much about yet. I'm assuming she's a dead lover to Baekhyun and that Baekhyun is having a hard time letting go of her. She might not be dead, but my first assumption is that she is. Baekhyun seems definitely attached but also a little deluded. When he called Yifan up about 2.0 throwing up food and him telling Baekhyun that she wasn't programmed to digest food, Baekhyun says "that's not normal", so I do think he's a little deluded and is allowing his love for the other woman to blind him into not realizing that this isn't a human, it's a program. Where the plot will head in the future chapters, I'm not sure, but I found this concept really interesting overall. Another thing I found pretty interesting and clever is from a comment I read when scrolling down. They mentioned how she said "whiteorange" and how she says that because she doesn't know the word for it. I found that pretty clever and wouldn't have caught onto that if I didn't read it, so that commenter is obviously more observant than myself, haha.
writing style/flow [20/20]
I found the writing style to be kind of interesting actually, mainly because you're getting the thoughts of this... android (to use that term) who doesn't know things. The shorter chapters I see are usually dull, but these ones are really clever. I think your writing style suits the style you're writing, so good job.
As for the flow, I don't think there's really anything wrong with it. You set a direction for your story and every chapter is something new, so no complaints from me.
characterization [9/10]
I feel like characterization might be slightly harder to talk about since I don't think characterization is really a main focus here. What I mean by that is, it's more about the story itself rather the characters in it. I can't say much about the characters, but for 2.0, I can say that I think you portrayed the AI fairly well, she doesn't fully understand human concepts and I like how you describe that she has a 'screen', like, for example, she could see how many times Baekhyun told her a certain thing or that she could pull up the definition of something right in front of her. That was pretty cool.
As I said before, I do believe Baekhyun seemingly has some attachment issues to whoever Soojin was to him before. Whether she's a dead lover or an ex lover, he doesn't seem like he can really let go. He doesn't seem to accept that she's not 'normal' or like a human being would be, since, well, she's not one. It makes me a little more curious about his character.
personal enjoyment [5/5]
I enjoyed it, personally. I like the concept of androids in human life/amongst humans so seeing this made me like it. I do want to know more but the story isn't finished to my dismay, haha. I think you did a fairly good job with the story overall and it was short enough for me to read all that was there.
total of [98/100]
others: Sorry for the wait. I've been really lazy/demotivated lately to do reviews but I'm up and at it right now (kind of...). If you have any questions, let me know, and don't forget to credit the shop!
With school starting back up again soon, I probably won't be doing many reviews, if at all. We'll see about it though. Thank you for everyone who has requested so far and over the years, I've really learned a lot from reviewing stories and shiz. ♥
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