With Shadows by Moony_Kat
VᴇʀꜱᴀEᴍᴇʀɢᴇ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ꜱʜᴏᴘ。 — busy!
with shadows by moony_kat
title [5/5]
The title makes a lot of sense, especially with the caption in the poster. I think it's a pretty good title, so there's not much to really say here. But, I can say that it does relate to the story since he obviously is with a shadow, Hayi, a lot of the time.
description/foreword [10/10]
I think the description is very intriguing. It also makes you wonder why he's going to die, there's a number of possibilities, really. Car accident, murdered, suicide, health problems that could be connected to smoking, the list can go on really.
As for the foreword, I'm assuming that's a small hint to his accident, how it happened or how he 'felt' but the description in it is kind of amazing. "For a second it felt as if he was exploding into water molecules" like, what the. It sounds super good just the description and foreword alone.
The description and foreword do their jobs of hooking me into the story, so good job.
plot [47/50]
So the problem/conflict here is pretty obvious and it has to do with Hayi. You can tell that Hayi's death left an impact on his life, making him unstable, especially mentally. Just from reading, I have a feeling that Hayi is the reason he is dying, when he sees her 'ghost', he becomes frantic almost, and his judgement seems to be a little clouded at times. I'm assuming that when he almost 'killed' himself, it was because he wanted to join Hayi because of the scene where he extends her hand to him, almost asking him to come join her. I think it's interesting that, while she is dead, she is still there and it's obviously disrupting his life. I look forward to seeing where the plot heads and how he handles it in the end or if he succumbs to his mind/Hayi.
writing style/flow [19/20]
The writing style is pretty good, while reading the story I felt like you wrote the story with care and that it wasn't rushed. There weren't any grammatical errors that I noticed, so there's not much to say about that either. The writing overall sounded fairly professional and I enjoyed reading it.
As for the flow, I don't think there's much to say about it either. The flow of the story so far is fairly good and I personally wasn't very confused reading through the chapters that were there.
characterization [9/10]
Hanbin's character is pretty interesting. It's obvious he struggles with a lot and has a lot on him, such as his parents, namely his father, who don't seem to care for him much. Hayi, who is dead yet seems to be everywhere he is. Jinwoo and Jennie, thorns in his side. I do like Hanbin's character and you can tell that he is struggling with how he acts. While I wouldn't condone that kind of behavior in real life, I think his personality makes the story more wholesome because you can feel his struggles.
Hayi, she's not really in the story but she's there. And she's very much ghosting on Hanbin. I thought the scene where she saw him and Jennie, where he runs out saying he 'said no' to her, and all that, was interesting. It's almost as if Hanbin believes she is still alive, but at the same time, knows she isn't. She definitely had a big impact on Hanbin and she seemed to struggle as well, especially with the mentions of the abusive home she was in.
Jennie, she's a litTOL SNEK (ehm, little snake). I had a feeling that there was something weird with her and after the scene where she alerted Junhoe that Hanbin was coming or whatever, I didn't like her and wanted to toss her into a garbage can HAHA. Jokes aside, I do want to know more about Jennie because she did say she liked Hanbin. Makes me wonder if it was a gimmick or not. Who knows, her character adds to the story though so that's good.
Junhoe, I'm not sure what to really say about him. I found it interesting that him and Hanbin seemingly used to be close friends, at least when Hayi was alive. Seems like after the accident and her death, they seperated. The fight scenes were definite proof of the tension between these two.
personal enjoyment [5/5]
I personally enjoyed it, it did have some fairly heavy topics within it but I think you executed it in a way that was good. It's nice to read about idols I don't see much anyways, like Hayi -- she's not a very commonly used character. Squints at YG. Anyways, I personally liked it, the grammar was good and your writing style was pretty good! Sorry if the review isn't the most helpful, I usually have a hard time reviewing good stories because there's not much for me to fix! You seem to have a solid idea of where you want the story to go.
total of [95/100]
others: The story is pretty well written and there wasn't much to critique on it I feel like. Sorry for taking so long, I'm trying to find the motivation to get out of bed these days. Thank you for requesting and I hope this review was halpful!
The title makes a lot of sense, especially with the caption in the poster. I think it's a pretty good title, so there's not much to really say here. But, I can say that it does relate to the story since he obviously is with a shadow, Hayi, a lot of the time.
description/foreword [10/10]
I think the description is very intriguing. It also makes you wonder why he's going to die, there's a number of possibilities, really. Car accident, murdered, suicide, health problems that could be connected to smoking, the list can go on really.
As for the foreword, I'm assuming that's a small hint to his accident, how it happened or how he 'felt' but the description in it is kind of amazing. "For a second it felt as if he was exploding into water molecules" like, what the. It sounds super good just the description and foreword alone.
The description and foreword do their jobs of hooking me into the story, so good job.
plot [47/50]
So the problem/conflict here is pretty obvious and it has to do with Hayi. You can tell that Hayi's death left an impact on his life, making him unstable, especially mentally. Just from reading, I have a feeling that Hayi is the reason he is dying, when he sees her 'ghost', he becomes frantic almost, and his judgement seems to be a little clouded at times. I'm assuming that when he almost 'killed' himself, it was because he wanted to join Hayi because of the scene where he extends her hand to him, almost asking him to come join her. I think it's interesting that, while she is dead, she is still there and it's obviously disrupting his life. I look forward to seeing where the plot heads and how he handles it in the end or if he succumbs to his mind/Hayi.
writing style/flow [19/20]
The writing style is pretty good, while reading the story I felt like you wrote the story with care and that it wasn't rushed. There weren't any grammatical errors that I noticed, so there's not much to say about that either. The writing overall sounded fairly professional and I enjoyed reading it.
As for the flow, I don't think there's much to say about it either. The flow of the story so far is fairly good and I personally wasn't very confused reading through the chapters that were there.
characterization [9/10]
Hanbin's character is pretty interesting. It's obvious he struggles with a lot and has a lot on him, such as his parents, namely his father, who don't seem to care for him much. Hayi, who is dead yet seems to be everywhere he is. Jinwoo and Jennie, thorns in his side. I do like Hanbin's character and you can tell that he is struggling with how he acts. While I wouldn't condone that kind of behavior in real life, I think his personality makes the story more wholesome because you can feel his struggles.
Hayi, she's not really in the story but she's there. And she's very much ghosting on Hanbin. I thought the scene where she saw him and Jennie, where he runs out saying he 'said no' to her, and all that, was interesting. It's almost as if Hanbin believes she is still alive, but at the same time, knows she isn't. She definitely had a big impact on Hanbin and she seemed to struggle as well, especially with the mentions of the abusive home she was in.
Jennie, she's a litTOL SNEK (ehm, little snake). I had a feeling that there was something weird with her and after the scene where she alerted Junhoe that Hanbin was coming or whatever, I didn't like her and wanted to toss her into a garbage can HAHA. Jokes aside, I do want to know more about Jennie because she did say she liked Hanbin. Makes me wonder if it was a gimmick or not. Who knows, her character adds to the story though so that's good.
Junhoe, I'm not sure what to really say about him. I found it interesting that him and Hanbin seemingly used to be close friends, at least when Hayi was alive. Seems like after the accident and her death, they seperated. The fight scenes were definite proof of the tension between these two.
personal enjoyment [5/5]
I personally enjoyed it, it did have some fairly heavy topics within it but I think you executed it in a way that was good. It's nice to read about idols I don't see much anyways, like Hayi -- she's not a very commonly used character. Squints at YG. Anyways, I personally liked it, the grammar was good and your writing style was pretty good! Sorry if the review isn't the most helpful, I usually have a hard time reviewing good stories because there's not much for me to fix! You seem to have a solid idea of where you want the story to go.
total of [95/100]
others: The story is pretty well written and there wasn't much to critique on it I feel like. Sorry for taking so long, I'm trying to find the motivation to get out of bed these days. Thank you for requesting and I hope this review was halpful!
With school starting back up again soon, I probably won't be doing many reviews, if at all. We'll see about it though. Thank you for everyone who has requested so far and over the years, I've really learned a lot from reviewing stories and shiz. ♥
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