Where He Waits by optimus-unreal
VᴇʀꜱᴀEᴍᴇʀɢᴇ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ꜱʜᴏᴘ。 — busy!
where he waits by optimus-unreal
title
I've liked the title since I first saw it but after reading the story, I like it more. The title relates to the story, at least the way I see it, because her dreams is where he waits. Since he is no longer alive, he waits for her in her dreams when she is asleep. I don't know if that's the way you were heading with the title but if it was, the title is brilliant.
description/foreword
So when looking at the description, at first glance it can seem like just another soulmate au. After reading, it makes a lot more sense. Chanyeol does die, obviously, and that ended up being her 'soulmate' to say the least. I'm not gonna say too much about the description because I personally don't find anything wrong with it, it's pretty solid in my opinion.
As for the foreword, it's just a little preview of the story and I think that's perfectly fine. I think it's a good way to get your potential readers interested in your story and, I'll be honest, it interested me. So, the foreword did its job of hooking me, the reader.
*plot
I won't lie, though this is probably just because I'm half asleep, but for some reason I thought Baekhyun was telling the story for a few chapters AHHAHA. I remember thinking "why is he calling Baekhyun a female" I'm so slow, please forgive me asdfgh.
Moving on, I found the plot rather interesting. Starting from the mention of soulmates to the aftermath of Chanyeol's death and how it disrupted her sleep and dreams quite often, leading her to go to Kyungsoo, a therapist. I think what Kyungsoo pointed out was interesting, about how she seemingly has unresolved conflict in terms of Chanyeol's passing/accident.
When looking at the plot, I see something a little different from other fanfics with this concept. The mention of soulmates and one getting into an accident isn't really the most original thing around, of course (as soulmate au is very popular), but the usage of the dreams and how Kyungsoo tells her to 'control' the dreams was interesting as a concept. I believe that's called Lucid Dreaming, or something of the sort, and I think the fact that she's trying to resolve inner turmoil within her to move past the accident in a very interesting concept and I'm all for it. From what I've read, you have a very good plot. I'm not going to read every single chapter but I really do like the concept of the dreaming and her experiencing different scenarios within her dreams. I enjoy the talks with Kyungsoo as well.
Also, when reading the section where she experiences a panic attack, I think you described it pretty well. I've had two panic attacks in my life, both out of nowhere, and it does feel hard to breathe and when it happens. I didn't know how to react the first time, since I had no experience with it, so I just kind of talked to a friend of mine, not knowing what was wrong with me. In other words, I think you took a respectable approach to the topic of panic attacks and Kyungsoo was a very nice help in that situation.
*writing style/flow
At first, I wasn't sure how the story would go because of the fact that it was in first person and I usually don't read stories in the first person. In this case, though, it works perfectly. I really liked the writing style, mainly because everything flowed together well. I felt like you have a firm grip on how you want the story to go and what kind of tone it has. You can tell through the writing that it's not the happiest of times, everything seems somewhat calm (using that word because I forgot what I originally wanted to say) and solemn. Your writing also sounds very mature which, of course, is fitting because of the fact that it's about 'heavier' topics, to say the least. So honestly, I have zero complaints about the writing style. The grammar and sentence structures are good too.
Looking at the flow of the story, there's nothing wrong with that either. You set a certain pace for your story and it turned out well. I never really felt confused reading the story and lowkey wanted to finish the whole thing but I'm behind on life due to my little slum I got into. You have a really good story on your hands.
*characterization
So characterization. Honestly, this part is interesting to me because the girl telling the story is almost mystery. I feel like we know nothing about her yet we know a lot about her. We experience her dreams, how she feels when thinking about Chanyeol, her therapy sessions with Kyungsoo. It's like we're watching someone's life from a window. I feel like we don't know much about the character's life from before the accident, at least from where I stopped reading, and that's honestly fine. The story focuses on her recovery, mainly, and I think it's a good character overall. She's not a typical character an OC mainly would be and you can sometimes feel how she feels. Hell, during the part where she was having a panic attack, it literally reminded me of my own so I felt like I could connect to the character a little bit. Having a character your readers can connect to is always a good thing, even if the thing they relate to isn't the happiest of things. Overall, I liked her.
Baekhyun I won't speak much about, as really the only thing I know about him is that he was Chanyeol's friend. I think, albeit smaller, his role is pretty important. Especially since the girl said she was going to call him after having her panic attack, so obviously he plays a role regardless.
Chanyeol, I feel like he lowkey knows what's going on even if he's just in her dreams. The reason I say that is because of chapter 9. When she says that this place is a dream, he says it's not. That what they have THERE is real. Like he knows it's a dream but doesn't want to accept it that it is. Now, I may be looking into this way too deep, but that was a theory I had in my head. Overall, I think he's a pretty interesting character that brings a lot to this story since it's heavily revolved around his actual death and his dream self.
*personal enjoyment
I've never had someone want to focus on this part before but ey, I'm for it since I never shut the up. First, I wanna say that I usually don't like 1st point of view stories but I loved this one, so that's saying something. While I didn't finish the story because of the fact that i'm behind, I really did enjoy what I managed to read. I never really know what I'm going into when I get requested stories and I like getting stories that are above my expectations (since I try not to set the bar too high, seems unfair if I do that). So the one thing I liked about the story was definitely the plot, or the concept at least, of the usage of dreaming. Usually people cannot control their dreams and the fact that these dreams can break the 'fourth wall' to say the least was pretty interesting to me. Chapter 9 was probably my favorite chapter out of the ones I read. I did like the characters too, they weren't too cliche or boring. I think the girl telling the story was probably one of the most solid OC's I've gotten to read about. I usually only have things to complain about (or ciritcize haha) if the story needs a lot of work or if there's loop holes in the plot. Your story really didn't have anything wrong with it and the plot so far was solid. I liked it and hopefully you find the will to finish it one day because it's a good story. (Though I know how difficult it is to finish stories, I never finish mine HAHAH).
Overall, good story and I think there's not that much to improve on. While every story could use improvements on certain things, I wouldn't be the judge on that one in this story since I think you know/knew what you were doing when you were writing this.
total of [0/0] // No grade given!
others: Sorry for the later review, I've been feeling in a bit of a slum lately and haven't wanted to do much, if anything. Also I didn't give a grade because I usually don't unless asked, so if you wanted one, just know it'd be a high 90 or so. Anyways, don't forget to credit the review shop and let me know if you have any questions.
I've liked the title since I first saw it but after reading the story, I like it more. The title relates to the story, at least the way I see it, because her dreams is where he waits. Since he is no longer alive, he waits for her in her dreams when she is asleep. I don't know if that's the way you were heading with the title but if it was, the title is brilliant.
description/foreword
So when looking at the description, at first glance it can seem like just another soulmate au. After reading, it makes a lot more sense. Chanyeol does die, obviously, and that ended up being her 'soulmate' to say the least. I'm not gonna say too much about the description because I personally don't find anything wrong with it, it's pretty solid in my opinion.
As for the foreword, it's just a little preview of the story and I think that's perfectly fine. I think it's a good way to get your potential readers interested in your story and, I'll be honest, it interested me. So, the foreword did its job of hooking me, the reader.
*plot
I won't lie, though this is probably just because I'm half asleep, but for some reason I thought Baekhyun was telling the story for a few chapters AHHAHA. I remember thinking "why is he calling Baekhyun a female" I'm so slow, please forgive me asdfgh.
Moving on, I found the plot rather interesting. Starting from the mention of soulmates to the aftermath of Chanyeol's death and how it disrupted her sleep and dreams quite often, leading her to go to Kyungsoo, a therapist. I think what Kyungsoo pointed out was interesting, about how she seemingly has unresolved conflict in terms of Chanyeol's passing/accident.
When looking at the plot, I see something a little different from other fanfics with this concept. The mention of soulmates and one getting into an accident isn't really the most original thing around, of course (as soulmate au is very popular), but the usage of the dreams and how Kyungsoo tells her to 'control' the dreams was interesting as a concept. I believe that's called Lucid Dreaming, or something of the sort, and I think the fact that she's trying to resolve inner turmoil within her to move past the accident in a very interesting concept and I'm all for it. From what I've read, you have a very good plot. I'm not going to read every single chapter but I really do like the concept of the dreaming and her experiencing different scenarios within her dreams. I enjoy the talks with Kyungsoo as well.
Also, when reading the section where she experiences a panic attack, I think you described it pretty well. I've had two panic attacks in my life, both out of nowhere, and it does feel hard to breathe and when it happens. I didn't know how to react the first time, since I had no experience with it, so I just kind of talked to a friend of mine, not knowing what was wrong with me. In other words, I think you took a respectable approach to the topic of panic attacks and Kyungsoo was a very nice help in that situation.
*writing style/flow
At first, I wasn't sure how the story would go because of the fact that it was in first person and I usually don't read stories in the first person. In this case, though, it works perfectly. I really liked the writing style, mainly because everything flowed together well. I felt like you have a firm grip on how you want the story to go and what kind of tone it has. You can tell through the writing that it's not the happiest of times, everything seems somewhat calm (using that word because I forgot what I originally wanted to say) and solemn. Your writing also sounds very mature which, of course, is fitting because of the fact that it's about 'heavier' topics, to say the least. So honestly, I have zero complaints about the writing style. The grammar and sentence structures are good too.
Looking at the flow of the story, there's nothing wrong with that either. You set a certain pace for your story and it turned out well. I never really felt confused reading the story and lowkey wanted to finish the whole thing but I'm behind on life due to my little slum I got into. You have a really good story on your hands.
*characterization
So characterization. Honestly, this part is interesting to me because the girl telling the story is almost mystery. I feel like we know nothing about her yet we know a lot about her. We experience her dreams, how she feels when thinking about Chanyeol, her therapy sessions with Kyungsoo. It's like we're watching someone's life from a window. I feel like we don't know much about the character's life from before the accident, at least from where I stopped reading, and that's honestly fine. The story focuses on her recovery, mainly, and I think it's a good character overall. She's not a typical character an OC mainly would be and you can sometimes feel how she feels. Hell, during the part where she was having a panic attack, it literally reminded me of my own so I felt like I could connect to the character a little bit. Having a character your readers can connect to is always a good thing, even if the thing they relate to isn't the happiest of things. Overall, I liked her.
Baekhyun I won't speak much about, as really the only thing I know about him is that he was Chanyeol's friend. I think, albeit smaller, his role is pretty important. Especially since the girl said she was going to call him after having her panic attack, so obviously he plays a role regardless.
Chanyeol, I feel like he lowkey knows what's going on even if he's just in her dreams. The reason I say that is because of chapter 9. When she says that this place is a dream, he says it's not. That what they have THERE is real. Like he knows it's a dream but doesn't want to accept it that it is. Now, I may be looking into this way too deep, but that was a theory I had in my head. Overall, I think he's a pretty interesting character that brings a lot to this story since it's heavily revolved around his actual death and his dream self.
*personal enjoyment
I've never had someone want to focus on this part before but ey, I'm for it since I never shut the up. First, I wanna say that I usually don't like 1st point of view stories but I loved this one, so that's saying something. While I didn't finish the story because of the fact that i'm behind, I really did enjoy what I managed to read. I never really know what I'm going into when I get requested stories and I like getting stories that are above my expectations (since I try not to set the bar too high, seems unfair if I do that). So the one thing I liked about the story was definitely the plot, or the concept at least, of the usage of dreaming. Usually people cannot control their dreams and the fact that these dreams can break the 'fourth wall' to say the least was pretty interesting to me. Chapter 9 was probably my favorite chapter out of the ones I read. I did like the characters too, they weren't too cliche or boring. I think the girl telling the story was probably one of the most solid OC's I've gotten to read about. I usually only have things to complain about (or ciritcize haha) if the story needs a lot of work or if there's loop holes in the plot. Your story really didn't have anything wrong with it and the plot so far was solid. I liked it and hopefully you find the will to finish it one day because it's a good story. (Though I know how difficult it is to finish stories, I never finish mine HAHAH).
Overall, good story and I think there's not that much to improve on. While every story could use improvements on certain things, I wouldn't be the judge on that one in this story since I think you know/knew what you were doing when you were writing this.
total of [0/0] // No grade given!
others: Sorry for the later review, I've been feeling in a bit of a slum lately and haven't wanted to do much, if anything. Also I didn't give a grade because I usually don't unless asked, so if you wanted one, just know it'd be a high 90 or so. Anyways, don't forget to credit the review shop and let me know if you have any questions.
With school starting back up again soon, I probably won't be doing many reviews, if at all. We'll see about it though. Thank you for everyone who has requested so far and over the years, I've really learned a lot from reviewing stories and shiz. ♥
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