The Asylum by krisyeol_always
VᴇʀꜱᴀEᴍᴇʀɢᴇ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ꜱʜᴏᴘ。 — busy!
the asylum by krisyeol_always
title [2/5]
Just by glancing at the title, you can see that it's fairly generic. There's nothing to really set it apart from the other stories that are out there also labeled as "The Asylum" or something similar of the sorts. In terms of uniqueness, it's lacking. But, on the bright side, it does relate to the story, that much is obvious from a quick first glance. I don't focus much on title though, mainly because I, myself, know how difficult titles can be and how hard it is to make one "stand out" from the rest. Plus, generic titles aren't always a bad thing--but I do think the title could have been stronger overall.
description/foreword [10/10]
The description was good and it honestly made me interested. I like the line of "Whatever it was, it wasn't actually Dissociative Indentity Disorder." That part intrigued me, mainly because it leaves the reader curious to what is actually happening or if this patient actually has a disorder at all. Who knows, anything could happen with stories like these.
The foreword made me curious about the patient Sungjong has to deal with, seemingly Jineul, and how this whole thing will play out in the long run. Overall, I think you did very well with 'introducing' your story.
plot [50/50]
The most interesting thing to me while reading the first few chapters was the eye-changing aspect. Sungjong saw his eyes turn golden, but the other nurse had no clue what he was talking about. I guess that's foreshadowing and explaining the description of the patient not having what he was originally diagnosed with. Also, I just finished reading the whole thing and I'm actually, what. I wasn't expecting that at all! When it was said that Sungjong was manipulated into going to the hometown, I was stunned. Like "what???" because you wouldn't of expected that. While taking and writing about the concept of mental illness is difficult, especially because it's such a sensitive topic in the long run, I think you pulled it off and did it in a way that wasn't inappropriate. While the chapters were shorter and, in turn, it was a pretty quick read for myself (since I'm a fast reader), I really enjoyed it and might consider checking out the next story if I have the time to read more of it.
writing style/flow [20/20]
There's really not much to say about your writing style because it's already good. The grammar was on point and you really knew how to convey how the characters, whether it be Sungjong, Yoohyeon, or one of the Ji's, felt during certain situations. While the chapters were fairly short, the story made up for it overall.
As for the flow of the story, I think you did a good job with it. Nothing felt extremely rushed and out of place. I think it's good that you didn't try to cram a lot of things into your story, you had a set plan with it and it paid off in the end, really.
characterization [10/10]
I think it was interesting to see Sungjong as the main character. Not many people use Sungjong, or Infinite in general, so it was a nice change. Hell, you don't see many people use male OC's, it's usually just the females with the male idol. For Sungjong, maybe I missed it, but I'm curious about him and the old facility he was at. Maybe that's explained later on in the next story but eh, I like the mystery around him. As for the male OC, who I keep trying to call Sehun (LOL), I think you portrayed him well. Especially with the fact that he had 3 sides of him, so I was impressed with that the most. I like the three sides you chose for him and how they played into the story. Like when Sungjong was manipulated unknowingly and helped him escape technically. That was very intriguing, I'd like to say.
personal enjoyment [5/5]
While writing about mental illness is risky and can be seen in a negative light, depending on how it is written, I really enjoyed the story. I was a little cautious at first, mainly because I was hoping this wouldn't romanticize mental illness and, thankfully, it didn't. The cliffhanger at the end of the story was lowkey frustrating though because hhhjdjdj, he ain't dead. Sungjong ain't going down yet, bois. But really, this deserves more attention.
total of [97/100]
others: Really, besides the title everything was pretty much spot on. The title isn't bad though, just kind of bland. The story after this one, has a great title though (just in case you wanted to know, haha).
Just by glancing at the title, you can see that it's fairly generic. There's nothing to really set it apart from the other stories that are out there also labeled as "The Asylum" or something similar of the sorts. In terms of uniqueness, it's lacking. But, on the bright side, it does relate to the story, that much is obvious from a quick first glance. I don't focus much on title though, mainly because I, myself, know how difficult titles can be and how hard it is to make one "stand out" from the rest. Plus, generic titles aren't always a bad thing--but I do think the title could have been stronger overall.
description/foreword [10/10]
The description was good and it honestly made me interested. I like the line of "Whatever it was, it wasn't actually Dissociative Indentity Disorder." That part intrigued me, mainly because it leaves the reader curious to what is actually happening or if this patient actually has a disorder at all. Who knows, anything could happen with stories like these.
The foreword made me curious about the patient Sungjong has to deal with, seemingly Jineul, and how this whole thing will play out in the long run. Overall, I think you did very well with 'introducing' your story.
plot [50/50]
The most interesting thing to me while reading the first few chapters was the eye-changing aspect. Sungjong saw his eyes turn golden, but the other nurse had no clue what he was talking about. I guess that's foreshadowing and explaining the description of the patient not having what he was originally diagnosed with. Also, I just finished reading the whole thing and I'm actually, what. I wasn't expecting that at all! When it was said that Sungjong was manipulated into going to the hometown, I was stunned. Like "what???" because you wouldn't of expected that. While taking and writing about the concept of mental illness is difficult, especially because it's such a sensitive topic in the long run, I think you pulled it off and did it in a way that wasn't inappropriate. While the chapters were shorter and, in turn, it was a pretty quick read for myself (since I'm a fast reader), I really enjoyed it and might consider checking out the next story if I have the time to read more of it.
writing style/flow [20/20]
There's really not much to say about your writing style because it's already good. The grammar was on point and you really knew how to convey how the characters, whether it be Sungjong, Yoohyeon, or one of the Ji's, felt during certain situations. While the chapters were fairly short, the story made up for it overall.
As for the flow of the story, I think you did a good job with it. Nothing felt extremely rushed and out of place. I think it's good that you didn't try to cram a lot of things into your story, you had a set plan with it and it paid off in the end, really.
characterization [10/10]
I think it was interesting to see Sungjong as the main character. Not many people use Sungjong, or Infinite in general, so it was a nice change. Hell, you don't see many people use male OC's, it's usually just the females with the male idol. For Sungjong, maybe I missed it, but I'm curious about him and the old facility he was at. Maybe that's explained later on in the next story but eh, I like the mystery around him. As for the male OC, who I keep trying to call Sehun (LOL), I think you portrayed him well. Especially with the fact that he had 3 sides of him, so I was impressed with that the most. I like the three sides you chose for him and how they played into the story. Like when Sungjong was manipulated unknowingly and helped him escape technically. That was very intriguing, I'd like to say.
personal enjoyment [5/5]
While writing about mental illness is risky and can be seen in a negative light, depending on how it is written, I really enjoyed the story. I was a little cautious at first, mainly because I was hoping this wouldn't romanticize mental illness and, thankfully, it didn't. The cliffhanger at the end of the story was lowkey frustrating though because hhhjdjdj, he ain't dead. Sungjong ain't going down yet, bois. But really, this deserves more attention.
total of [97/100]
others: Really, besides the title everything was pretty much spot on. The title isn't bad though, just kind of bland. The story after this one, has a great title though (just in case you wanted to know, haha).
With school starting back up again soon, I probably won't be doing many reviews, if at all. We'll see about it though. Thank you for everyone who has requested so far and over the years, I've really learned a lot from reviewing stories and shiz. ♥
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