Have you ever woken up with something in your mind, something that you really want to do?  I did this morning. But what I wanted to do was a little bit too far away from changing my life. I woke up wanting to get the cleaning done. Look at that, I became a lady.

Or that’s what I was planning on doing, better said. There was something which kept me away from actually doing my chores like a good girl. I began in my bedroom, and so I grabbed my suitcase, the one I took to China, and thus the one Chanyeol had left a message inside.  Just for the ‘fun’ of it, I decided to open it up, as I didn’t really remember whether or not I had gotten rid of the piece of paper, but turns out I never did. There it was, ‘If you found this then it means that you must go back for me. If you don't do it, I will hunt you down when I die, Park Byul! I love you.' I took a deep breath, and smiled, shaking my head slowly. ‘It’s time’, I told myself, and went to take a shower, leaving the piece of his handwriting on my nightstand. When I came back, it took it and put it in my bag, and went out.

I knocked on his door, and he came, opening the door, giving little gasps of joy. ‘Byul! Byul!’, he said, hurrying to open the door for me. ‘So long, Byul!’, he smiled while bringing my slippers. Part of me wanted to melt because he hadn’t dropped them after I left, but it was a really weak part of me, so I brushed it aside. He then brought a glass of water, while signaling me to sit down. I refused. ‘Long time, yeah’, I smiled at him. ‘But don’t worry, I’m not staying for a long time, I came for a while. I needed to give this to you’, I told him while putting his own piece of paper in his hands. Chanyeol looked at it, and even though he really knew what it was about, he asked.

- What´s this?

- That’s the piece of paper you wrote for me and left in my bag when I left to China. I found it the day I came back. – I told him while putting the glass of water on his counter, and then turning my head to look at him

- I know – he said slowly – Where did you find it?

- In my bag – I repeated.

- Listen – Began Chanyeol, staring at my eyes – If this is about the last time we saw each other…

- It’s not – I smiled

- Then? – Asked he – Hana will be here any minute, I don’t want her to think anything the wrong way

- I just came here to give it back to you – I answered bluntly.

- Why, Byul?

- I don’t want it anymore.

- Why should I have it?

- I don’t care, Chanyeol.  I’m moving on, I needed this.

- What’s that supposed to mean? – He asked, with worry all over his eyes

- I don’t want to keep up with this life anymore – I told him honestly –This kind of life where all my feelings revolve around you should leave soon. I did come to get you back, Chanyeol – I said, and he opened his mouth in surprise – But you are now with her, and there’s nothing I can do about it now.

- Are you dating someone now? – I asked, grabbing my arm

- That’s none of your business, really – I said, softly freeing myself from his grip

- It’s your neighbor, right? Do you love him?

- I came to give you that, and I already did, so there’s not much left to do now. I will leave.

- Byul… - Said Chanyeol in a week voice

- Bye, Chanyeol.

He closed his door softly, slowly, as if he was trying to understand what had just happened. I turned to smile at him, and he lowered his view. When I got back home, I sat on my living room and took a deep breath. Despite all the times I’ve thought my life was mine again, it was this time I’ve felt it more real.

But why did he think I was dating Joonmyeon? I really want to move on, but I don’t think my neighbor likes me back.

Hold on. Like me back? Did I say like me back? Do I like him?

In fact, now that I come to think about it, I really enjoy the times we spent together, and I feel kind of sad when he has to leave. Does that mean I like him?

Enough asking. I stood up, fixed my dress and began cleaning. I spent a lot of time watching TV though. I couldn’t focus much on what I was supposed to do having that new ‘discovery’ in my mind, and just when I was about to make up my mind and drift to the bathroom to do the chore I hate the most, Joonmyeon called me.

- Hi!  I answered, a little more nervous than the usual. Maybe because of what I had been thinking who knows.

- Byul, are you busy? – He asked  - I wanted to cook for you

- I was about to finish cleaning up around here. My place does not resemble a lady’s house lately – I admitted

- That’s a good thing, that you are cleaning, big girl. We can leave this for another day if you are too busy.

- Did you already buy the ingredients? – I asked him

- I’m kinda halfway done here, honestly. But don’t worry, you have to do your chores.

- I don’t even like cleaning the bathroom – I laughed – Come on, take me out of here

- I guess I could send someone to clean that up for you.

- You have a cleaning lady?

- Yeah. Byul, I live alone, and I might hate cleaning as much as you do

- I really don’t want to abuse, Joonmyeon

- No big deal, Byul. She has to come tomorrow so I will pay her more and that’s it. Now come over, I don’t want you to have cold food.

I took off my dress and changed into something prettier, and went downstairs quickly to get some wine. I pressed the doorbell and waited with a stupid smile on my face. ‘Hi!’, he smiled, letting me in. ‘I brought wine. Not French, though. They didn’t have it downstairs’, I apologized. Joonmyeon smiled and put the bottle on the table, as he had prepared western food.

After eating, he began opening his mouth, as if he was trying really hard to say something. ‘What is it, Joonmyeon?’, I asked him, placing my hand on his back. He sighed and turned to look at me. ‘I think I like you, Park Byul’, he said, and then gasped. ‘That’s it. I said it. And I know that you love him. I really don’t know what happened between you two, but I know that you love him. What can I do? Nothing, just try and be your friend’, he said, covering his face with his hands, supporting his elbows on his knees.

- If you let me say something… -I began

- You don’t need to – Said he, still burying his face on his hands – I just wanted to get that off my chest.

- Joonmyeon – I said, patting his back to make him look at me

- I know it’ll be uncomfortable from now on, don’t say that either

- It’s just…

- Don’t worry, girls tend to reject me many times, I don’t know why.

- Joonmyeon I like you too.

He stopped hiding his face and looked at me with an expression full of hopes. ‘Really?’, he asked, while trying not to smile too much. I nodded for an answer, and then his smiled turned to a serious face. ‘But you still love him, don’t you?’. I shrugged, trying to tell him I was trying to move on, and moving on with him was what I wanted to do. But he sighed, and grabbed the hand I had on his back. ‘I’m not asking you to stop loving him from one day to another. I’m asking you to let me make you happy’, he said. I grabbed his hand with my other hand and smiled. ‘I really like you, Joonmyeon’, and I really meant it. The guy who was in front of me, was perfect. And I finally could be able to see it. ‘But I don’t want to hurt you, please don’t think I’m using you’, I asked. He smiled again, and said ‘Just let me make you happy, I won’t get hurt.’

I smiled at him and snuggled to his side. We kept quiet for a while. ‘What do you say?’ , he asked after some time. ‘We can pretend this never happened too, if you want it that way’, he offered. I looked at him and shook my head: ‘I don’t want that to happen’, I told him and he opened his mouth in surprise. ‘I won’t repeat myself, Joonmyeon, but I do want to move on. With you’.

- Really? – He asked, with a bright smile. I nodded again – So will you be my girlfriend? – Then he shook his head – No, forget that. That’s too sudden, right? Ah, Byul, it’s just that I like you so much!

I smiled and hugged him. That was the first time in a long, long time that someone had told me something like that, and it was something completely right. ‘I do, Joonmyeon. Do you want to be my boyfriend?’ I asked. He chuckled and nodded frantically, kissing me. No more words were necessary. I could tell this is the beginning of the best time. Kim Joonmyeon is perfect.

We’ve been together for two weeks now, and I’m happy. Every morning, we have breakfast together before we go to our duties, and every afternoon, we meet at the joint where we first had lunch together to eat and talk, and then go back to what we have to do. We are better than fine, this was the best choice ever.

- Any plans for this afternoon? – He asked me while handing me the chopsticks

- No. I will stay at home. You know I’ve been going back and forth from the university to the hospital, and I barely have time for us and time alone. Unless you have time this afternoon, we can go for a movie or something – I suggested, since there was a movie I really wanted to watch

- I can’t, Byul – Said Joonmyeon shaking his head – But let me take you for dinner to that new place we saw the other day.

- Alright – I smiled – Do you want me to wait for you in there?

- I’ll pick you up. Place make sure you rest – He smiled, caressing my cheek – If you don’t, I won’t take you out!

- I’m not a baby, Kim Joonmyeon.

- You can be my baby, Park Byul.

I chuckled and shook my head at the fluff I was seeing.

Home again. Some of my clothes are at Joonmyeon’s, some of his clothes are here. I put them on the washing machine, and sat down to watch something in the meantime. It had been a long time since I hadn’t had this time alone, and not because of Joonmyeon. I’m talking about a time alone without having anything to worry about, that kind of good time you enjoy. But then my boyfriend called.

- What are you doing? – He asked

- Nothing. I just put some of our clothes to wash, and I was watching TV. Something wrong, Joonmyeon?

- The opposite, actually. I’m on my way home, my dad cancelled our meetings and forgot to tell me, so I went to the cinema and got us tickets for that horror movie you wanted to see. Today is the premiere!

- Really?

-  Yeah! I’m about ten minutes away, so if you are already on our pajamas, change into something pretty!

I clapped my hands quickly twice and went to dress up again. In no time, Joonmyeon was at the door with a big teddy bear. ‘I’m sorry. I should I have called my secretary to confirm my meetings, we could have been together this whole afternoon’, he apologized, hiding behind the stuffed toy. I chuckled and hugged him, leaving the bear aside. ‘You are here now and we are going to see that movie, so no more apologizing’. He hugged me tight and smiled.

At the cinema, while we were waiting in line, I heard a familiar voice: ‘Byul, so nice to see you here!’. I turned, and gasped.

I guess Seoul is a small place, after all.