When I came back home, confused and hurt, Joonmyeon was standing at the door. ‘How did it go?’, he asked me calmly. I sighed and removed my shoes, leaving my keys on the counter. I did not want to answer, as I was sure that anything I could say would screw the mood even more. But Joonmyeon had something to tell me, something I had been fearing but never thought it would happen. ‘I’m leaving you, Byul’, he said with a half smile. I stopped from taking my jacket off, to look at his face. ‘What?’, I asked, certain of what I had heard but still having small hopes on this being a bad joke or something like it. ‘I’m letting you go’, he said to make himself clearer.

I began crying, as if I had lost all self respect, all dignity that I had left. Of course I would cry, after all I was just coming back from Chanyeol’s place, to talk to him, ending up in a terribly uncomfortable moment. ‘Why are you doing this?’, I asked him while taking a deep breath, and he wiped my tears with his thumbs. ‘I’m in love with you, Byul. That’s why I’m letting you go to him’, he said softly. I sat down at the kitchen table, and Joonmyeon squatted in front of me, placing his hand on my knee.

- Aren’t you going to fight for me? – I asked emotionlessly. I had lost all energy

- Nobody will love you the way I do. My heart, my body, my soul… my present, my past and my future, they all belong to you – He said while looking into my eyes

- I don’t understand – I told him, putting my hand on top of his – I just want this to be over.

- I will wait for you, Byul – He continued - But I will stop waiting for you when I see that you are better off that way

I looked at him again, and understood that it was a good thing that he had decided to let me go. Not because that’d free me to go with Chanyeol, as I’m not sure that’s what I want, but it’s good for him to stay away from me, the one who had brought so many bad times. ‘I’m sorry’, I said while caressing his hand, the hand that so many times I held. Joonmyeon smiled and stood up, without taking my eyes off me. ‘I just want you to be happy, Byul. Just promise me you’ll smile again with him. You know where to find me, I’ll still be your neighbor’, he said, and walked to the door, closing it behind himself.

I haven’t seen him in one week. I’m assuming he left for a while, as he likes to do that to keep his mind out of unpleasant stuff. But it’s fine by me. I really want to be alone, or at least try to. I took back my shifts and finished my semester at the university, and have managed not to see Chanyeol either. I thought this time off from them would make me realize who I would miss the most, but truth is all I’ve thinking about is not about them but me. I came to get my life back but I have done is getting in one problem to get out and then get into another one.

Anyway I think it’s time to do something. Go do some sports, have an ice cream… hell knows, get out of here. But there’s nothing that I can run away from forever. ‘Byul!’, I heard a voice and felt a hand grabbing my shoulder, and turned to see a jading Chanyeol. ‘I’ve followed you from the restaurant. You can’t run away from me like this anymore. I need to know what happened’, he told me, trying to catch his breath. ‘I needed time alone’, I told him quietly, while handing him a bottle of water.

‘Who did you choose?’, he asked impatiently, once sitting on a boulevard café. I shook my head, wiping the cold water from outside my glass of iced tea. ‘It’s not about choosing this time, Chanyeol’, I said calmly, and he gasped. ‘So you chose him’, he said with a bitter smile.

- I didn’t choose him, Chanyeol. But I didn’t choose you either – I said while Chanyeol went from a big grin to a confused expression

- I could really use some help right now then - He said while scratching his head

- It’s just I’ve been trying to sort myself out during these days – I explained – I just want to be alright, you know? Just me

- Where’s Kim Joonmyeon?

- He left me – I told him, while taking a sip of my drink

- I would love to take the friend role and tell you that I’m sorry to hear it, but you know I can’t – He said simply

- Don’t worry – I smiled softly – I think he did the right thing. I didn’t want to break his heart more than how much I had already done it.

Chanyeol nodded and then smiled. ‘Do you miss me, Byul?’, he asked softly. I looked at him, his lips, his weird smile, his eyes. I have never forgotten that he made me realize that I was in love with him, and no matter the pass of time, I would always feel an immense love for him. The kind of love that warms up your heart, the kind of love that makes you smile at any time. But was it a romantic kind of love? I surely loved Park Chanyeol, and by no means that was meant to change. It already didn’t, it won’t happen.

But if I had loved him in the first place, I would have never stopped fighting to have him back, wouldn’t I? And I wouldn’t have tried to move on with someone else, but I get that’s what we do when we really want to get people out of our systems.

Chanyeol waved his hand in front of me, while still smiling. ‘Do you?’, he asked again, and I lost myself on his eyes. It felt right to finally be able to tell him that I had spent all this time trying to get him out of my mind trying to hide all of these feelings and trying to move on. I smiled at him, and nodded. ‘Yes, I do’. Chanyeol stood up clumsily from his side of the table, threatening to drop our drinks, and went to sit next to me. ‘I’m not asking or much, Byul. That’s all I needed to hear. The only thing I want is to have you with me. We have made mistakes, and the main responsible for them is me. I should have never done many things, but thank you for still loving me’, he said softly, while removing one strand of hair from my face, placing it behind my ear.

- I don’t want to rush things, Byul. – He continued, but I grabbed his face and pulled him closer to me, filling the gap between our lips quickly enough for him to miss the fact that I was kissing him.

That kiss felt perfect. It’s like both of us were craving or it, waiting for the right time to go back and feel the same way we felt now so long ago. He responded the kiss, grabbing the back of my head to deepen it. After I pulled off, we stared at each other’s eyes for a while, with Chanyeol’s hands caressing my cheeks. ‘Are you alright with this?’, he asked slowly, and I nodded. For some reason I could only think about the wonderful chance of having him back.

We went back home, to our home, this time sure about me staying there with him overnight. ‘You are not only staying overnight’, complained Chanyeol while I let him know that I would eventually go back home the next day. ‘I have to. You don’t want to rush things, and neither do I. Things should happen naturally, Chanyeol. I’m not going to change my mind, for this is what I’ve been expecting for a long time’, I told him calmly. He sighed and pouted. ‘Alright’. 

Next morning, after a while of just passing time in bed, he came running and jumped into bed, sitting next to me. ‘I got something for you’, he said chuckling, waving what it seemed to be plane tickets. When I raised my hand to reach them, he lifted his long arm even more. ‘I’ve been working all this time, saving money for this. I bought two tickets for us, open date. I confirmed them today, I just printed them!’, he said smiling cheekily. ‘Where are we going?’, I asked him, trying to act cute so he would let me see the destination.

- You always dreamed of going to Jeju, remember? – He began, and I gasped. I had already been there with Joonmyeon – So we are going to go there – He said with bright eyes

I looked at him and tried to smile, but failed. Chanyeol opened his mouth and then ruffled my hair. ‘I’m not that stupid. I know you went there with Joonmyeon, don’t ask me how’, he said when I opened my mouth to ask. I figured later that Hana might have told him. I sighed in relief, while he put the printed tickets on my lap. ‘I can’t speak Chinese at all but we can try’. They were tickets to Macau. I looked at him, and gasped. ‘Chanyeol, this must have cost you a fortune’, I said softly. He shrugged, resting his head on my lap, taking the tickets on his hand. ‘I don’t care. I told you I don’t have as much money as he has, but I can save to make you feel like a princess’, he said quietly. I grabbed her face and kissed him one more time, and after that he grabbed my fingers and bit them softly. ‘Why do you always have to bite my fingers?’, I asked him, and he chuckled. ‘I don’t know, I just like to do it. I love you, Park Byul’.