The sun is shining, my mother called me to have breakfast. I've been in Dalian for six months now. I suspended one semester, everything to not seeing him for a long time. And I can't stop thinking of him. It's sad, I haven't spoken to him in three months, three weeks and two days. I asked him to stop calling me, to stop trying to find me. I needed to forget, I needed to let her have him. Stupid pride! Idiot Honesty! The last thing he told me on the phone was 'I'd you want me to stop calling you, I will. But that's not gonna make my love for you go away.'

And I felt the void in my heart filling up with the most beautiful feeling. But I couldn't listen to it. So I repeatedly told him to stop contacting me. Today, four months, three weeks and two days later, he paid attention and did what I asked him to do. I don't know if I'm on a long way of mistake after mistake or if this is how doing the right thing feels. All I know is that I need to see him. Maybe when I see him I will realize my feelings have changed, or maybe I will realize that I was never in love with him but only... Only what, Park Byul? No. No, I will see that I wasn't in love but just on a deep crush. I hope so.

I hope so.

'Park Byul this is no restaurant!', screamed my mom from the kitchen of her loft. I grunted and went downstairs to have breakfast. She looked at me and sighed. 'It's your blood type', she said. I looked at her, being unable to understand what she was talking about, I tilted my head, which made her sigh louder.

- AB type people are weird. You are weird, with those ferrets, that friend of yours you don't like the way you should like him, he’s weird like you  and you live together - that's not right mom, I love him, I thought -  that major of yours... Why don't you come and live with us, Byul? - She asked

I lifted my head to look at her with a confused expression. She shook her head.

- You've been here for six months already. Stay.

- You know I won't stay, mom. - I told her shoving some kimbap in my mouth, just like Chanyeol often does.

- If you don't want to stay then go back and face whatever or whoever made you come hide here.

I stopped eating: she actually made sense, but I don't think I can just go back. I mean, I still live with him, right?

- Finish that and go dress up. I'm going to take you to the airport myself. I did not raise a coward. – She said taking her apron off.

- I'm not being a coward. – I said, taking a mouthful of porridge

- You are. Do you think I didn't listen he way you asked that boy to stop calling you? Go and face stuff, Park Byul.

- I know I should but I'm afraid I don't want to.

- Blood type!- She gasped angrily - Finish your porridge and go meet me at the door. Pack your bag. I will pack some dried beef and Wang Lao Qi herbal tea for you.

I sighed and obeyed. She was right, after all. I packed my bags and found a piece of paper. It was his handwriting:'If you found this then it means that you must go back for me. If you don't do it, I will hunt you down when I die, Park Byul! I love you.'

I smiled to myself and kept going. Either if I wanted or not my first stop would be our place, so I should start to get ready to meet him again. 

A couple of hours later, I was at the airport with my mother. I should mention that my stepfather worked for the Chinese government, so we had a lot of benefits and access to stuff like plane tickets for the same day. When my time to board came, my mother hugged me tight and whispered 'Don't let him go away. He's the only one who understands your weirdness'. I looked at her and she nodded. I just smiled back and boarded.

There I was. On my way back to Seoul. I didn't want to think about it much, so i drifted to sleep. When I woke up, we were already landing. I got off, took a cab and arrived home. I took the keys, and pondered about opening the door or not for a while. Until I heard his voice, singing loudly. Coming from outside, he was arriving. He stopped singing, I turned , we saw each other.

He opened his mouth, dropped his bags and ran to hug me as tight as he could. I felt how I ran out of breath, but I didn't mind. 'You don't smell of ferrets this time', he told me while tightening his grip. I didn't answer. He slowly pulled off and opened the door, without taking his eyes off me. He ran to his bedroom and brought my slippers, putting them on the floor, with that awkward smile of his. I smiled as well, and put my slippers on. He cleared his throat.

- Hana didn't like to see your stuff here so I had to hide them so she could believe I had dropped them. 

Hana. He mentioned her. I was late, they were together.

- Oh... - I said - She's here.

- Not now. It's just sometimes she stays with me. She sleeps in your bed, I hope you don't mind.- Apologized Chanyeol.

- I do mind - I told him. He opened his eyes with a worried expression - I need to sleep there now.

He laughed and pinched one of my cheeks.

- I'll tell her to sleep with me now then. - He said carelessly.

 I didn't need to ask him if they were together, he had just confirmed it. I felt my heart breaking, a I realized that none of my theories were right entirely. I was in love with him, and he was with her. The worst part was that I felt so bad that I wasn't even able to show out. I brushed it off like an . Pretty much what I've been doing ever since Hana asked me to help her.

- Byul. Byul. Byul! - Called Chanyeol, and I turned to look at him - Do you want to eat anything? I'm leaving now so if there's something you want to eat just tell me to go and buy it for you before I leave.

- I'm alright. - I told him - I'm not a foreigner, Chanyeol.

He looked at his watch and then at me. 'I really have to go', he said, and then he hugged me again. 'I'm so happy that you're here!' He then kissed my cheek.

I went to my bedroom and placed my luggage on my bed. I sat down, and sighed. When I breathed in, I felt how I was starting to tear up. When I breathed out, I started crying, that kind of cry that you only let go when you are screwed. I came here just to see them together, resting in our couch, sleeping together, planning their life.

I cried, I cried so hard that I did not listen to the door opening, and I did not listen to his voice calling my name. I only felt his grip shaking me softly.

- What’s going on? – He asked worriedly

- Why are you here? – I asked him trying to wipe off  my tears

- She cancelled our date. What happened?

As soon as I heard date I began crying again. Good one, Byul. Try to come up with a good lie now you . Chanyeol brought me to his arms and started caressing my back. ‘What happened, Byul, don’t scare me’, he said. I pulled off from his embrace and tried to smile.

- I’m tired, that’s all.

He looked at me and squinted his eyes. I nodded.

- It’s just that my mom is alone back there. My stepfather works so much so it makes me sad to leave her. – I said.

- You know that’s not true – Said Chanyeol – But if you don’t want to tell me I can understand. I will leave you alone for a while. I will go buy something for us to have dinner. Hana is busy, apparently, and I need to catch up with you.

I nodded to him and he caressed my cheek and smiled at me. ‘I have something to show you when I come back, so don’t go in my room, alright?’, he asked. I kept nodding.

How bittersweet this is. So far I am lost. Like, really lost.

100%.

Well done, Byul.