Doojoon slipped the tie around his neck and sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror and tied it. It had been such a long time since he did this, and the smooth, expensive fabric felt sort of foreign to him. Being away from work for so long, he shuddered to think of the amount of work waiting for him.

 

He had been discharged from the hospital just the evening before, after his attempted break up with Gayoon. He pursed his lips and frowned as he thought of why Gayoon would react that way. Being angry or upset was natural. But rejecting the break up? Has that even happened before?

 

As Doojoon slipped on his jacket and prepared to leave his apartment, he felt the vibration from the phone in his pocket.

 

Sender: Gayoon

 

Hello! ( ´▽` )ﾉpopping in at around 2! Don't try and make up some lame excuse to avoid me Doojoonie!

 

Doojoon stared at his phone screen, unable to believe the nerve of this woman. He was almost tempted to reply with a message asking her to back off. He. Effing. Broke. Up. With. Her. What was with her?

 

Doojoon clicked his phone shut and slipped it back into his pocket, and cussed silently as he realised he was almost late for work.

 

--------

 

The members sat together on the floor of the studio, waiting for Jiyong to speak. He had came into the studio in the morning, and proclaimed that he had very, very good news.

 

Turned out he was right.

 

"What?" Yoseob couldn't help but gasp at what Jiyong had just told them.

 

The four members stared at Jiyong, slack jawed. What did he just say?

 

Jiyong smiled at Yoseob, and nodded.

 

"Yes, we were wondering if you guys would agree to this idea of being in this project group we have been planning for a while now," Jiyong said.

 

"B-but we have only been training for a few months! Isn't it a-abit too fast?" Hyunseung choked, temporarily forgetting that he was a bit pissed at Jiyong for ignoring him.

 

Jiyong shook his head, and reached out his hand instinctly to ruffle Hyunseung's hair but retracted it hurriedly when he came to realise what he was doing. He coughed and said dismissively,

 

"Of course you won't debut so early, idiot. You guys will continue to train until we have organized everything and decided that you are prepared enough for your debut, but for now, we have decided to put you into this project group,"

 

Jiyong looked around them, and saw that they were still quite stunned by the news. He shrugged and passed the blue clipboard he was holding to Yoseob.

 

"You guys would have to sign this before we confirm your places, and decide when you want it or not. You can pass it to Doojoon hyung when you guys have finished. Right now, I need to get back to the recording studio,"

 

Yoseob nodded, and cautiously took the clipboard, holding it as if it was some precious treasure. But then Jiyong spoke, his tone no longer friendly, but was instead serious and clipped.

 

"But, I am going to warn you, if you guys do anything that does not abide by our company's rules, we will not hesitate to kick you out of the group. And if newer, more talented trainees get accepted into Cube and show much more potential than you do, it is only natural that you will be replaced, so please be sure to keep that in mind,"

 

The four members flinched as Jiyong regarded them with serious eyes, but then he smiled.

 

"I don't think you guys will do anything that stupid, so don't worry. Now I will let you guys think about it, but be sure to pass the form to Doojoon hyung," Jiyong said, then excused himself and walked out of the training studio.

 

For the next twenty minutes, the four spent their time looking at the clipboard, unable to actually believe this was happening to them. Usually, a trainee would have to wait years before their chance to debut, but yet this was happening to them? Sure, Cube may have their trainees debut a little earlier because of the small amount of trainees, but still...

 

Yoseob glanced at his friends, and saw that except for Dongwoon, Junhyung and Hyunseung looked stressed and anxious.

 

Hyunseung glanced at Junhyung.

 

"Isn't this a bit too fast?" Hyunseung asked, repeating the question he had asked Jiyong, directing his question at Junhyung instead. Junhyung smiled gently and placed his hand on top on Hyunseung's, not noticing his slight blush when he did so.

 

Yoseob and Dongwoon locked gazes with each other, raising their eyebrows a bit at the action.

 

"Like what Jiyong hyung said, it would probably take years before we actually debut with the group, so I don't think we should feel pressured too much,"

 

Hyunseung breathed out and nodded, though he still seemed quite worried. Junhyung picked by the pen that was attached to the side of the clipboard.

 

He looked around at the rest, and said,

 

"Well, I am going to sign the form first I guess," he clicked the pen open and bent over to sign it.

 

The room was filled with silence except for the scribbling of pen on paper for the next few minutes.

 

Yoseob took the pen and paused for a while, the tip of his pen hovering over the black line. He had no idea why he felt this nervous. Was it because he, like Hyunseung, felt that it was way too fast? He had no idea, just this ominous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He shrugged it off and quickly scribbled his signature over the line, writing a little harder than needed.

 

-------

 

"Erm, Mr. Yoon, Ms. Heo is here to see you,"

 

Mr. Park, Doojoon's secretary, announced meekly, and he stepped aside to let Gayoon into the room. Gayoon smiled, her dark red lipstick giving her an impression of a bloated pink pufferfish.

Doojoon looked up from his paperwork, and looked from Gayoon to Mr. Park. He gave his secretary a cold hard stare before turning back to his work, ignoring Gayoon.

 

"Did I give you permission to let her in?" he said pointedly.

 

"Er-rm, I-I," Mr. Park stammered, not used to the Director acting like this.

 

Doojoon sighed. "Please show her the way out, she has no business with me,"

 

Gayoon's smile faltered, but she slapped it back on. She turned to Mr. Park, smiling sweetly.

 

"He is just in a bad mood, you can go, I will take care of this," she said, and despite Mr. Park's protests, she pushed him out of the office before shutting the doors. She turned to look at Doojoon, who was still pretending not to notice her.

 

"What was that?" she scowled, walking towards his desk in her stilettos and slamming her hand over the paperwork Doojoon was hunched over. He sighed, and reluctantly looked up at Gayoon, irritated.

 

"What do you want?" Doojoon asked, nudging her hand away with his pen.

 

Gayoon smiled. "It's nearing 2, and I am hungry,"

 

Doojoon bent over his work again. "There's a sandwich vending machine right around the corner of the corridor if you haven't noticed,"

 

Gayoon bit her lip, her cheeks filling steadily with colour. She snatched his pen away, fuming. Doojoon stood up, irritated as well. He wanted so much to kick her out of the office, but being the kind gentlemen he was, he couldn't.

 

"Gayoon. We. Are. Over. I don't know if a blood clot in your brain is somehow stopping that piece of information from going through, but whatever you are doing now, stop it. I honestly have no idea why you are acting like this." Doojoon stressed.

 

Gayoon gripped the pen she was holding tightly, so tight her knuckles were slowly turning white. She wasn't angry with Doojoon, but rather at what he said. She too had no idea why she was acting like that.

 

"I just want us to be together," Gayoon spoke quietly, her voice trembling a bit. I don't want to be alone...

 

"Gayoon, just give me the pen," Doojoon sighed, reaching over to take the pen out of her grip. But Gayoon leaned back as he was reaching out, causing Doojoon to slip a bit, accidentally grabbing on Gayoon's shoulders' for support. Doojoon hastily tried to step back, but Gayoon leant forward to kiss him before he could.

 

When Doojoon felt Gayoon's lips on his, he immediately tried pushing her away, but she grabbed around his neck, not letting go. Gayoon was holding on so tight Doojoon had trouble trying to breathe.

 

Doojoon was so caught up in the heat of the moment he didn't notice the door to the office opening. Doojoon and Gayoon broke off when they heard a small gasp, and Doojoon's eyes widened when he saw that the person who had just came in was Yoseob.

 

He pushed Gayoon away hurriedly, and wiped his lips with the back of his sleeve hurriedly. Only one thought was going through his mind at that moment.

 

.

 

He looked at Yoseob, a loss of what to say.

 

 

-------

 

Yoseob was going to pass Doojoon the completed forms for the trainees, and apparently he came in at the wrong moment.

 

Yoseob gaped at Doojoon and Gayoon, unsure of what to think. A rush of emotions came over Yoseob. He was feeling an uncomfortable, choked up feeling in his throat. His stomach felt as if piranhas had just eaten them whole and his heart felt as if someone had grabbed and twisted it tight. His hands trembled a bit, and all he wanted to do was run away from there.

 

But no. He had to pretend that everything was normal, say he was sorry for intruding into their privacy, walk away slowly and come back later to pass Doojoon the forms. But he couldn't. Hot tears were threatening to spill from his eyes, and all he could was stand there, frozen. Three seconds that had passed seemed like forever.

 

He tried to speak.

 

"I-I," he managed to choke out, but couldn't go any further than that one syllable. He closed his eyes, praying for someone to help his in this plight.

 

And someone did.

 

He felt warm hands cover over his closed eyes and lead him out of the office slowly.

"Lee Joon?" Yoseob heard Doojoon's voice, and he gasped when he realised who's hand that was.

 

Yoseob's back was against Lee Joon's chest, and he could feel Lee Joon's steady heart thumping against his ribcage.

 

"Was just looking for him, you can go back to doing whatever you want now," Lee Joon's voice was edged with ice, and Yoseob felt himself slowly being lead away from the door.

 

"Wait!" Doojoon called out, but the office door was closed in his face.

 

Lee Joon transferred his hand on Yoseob's eyes to his shoulders and quickly led him out of the company building. Yoseob had his eyes casted down on his feet, and he was struggling hard not to let his tears seep out.

 

Lee Joon walked Yoseob to a nearby park and settled Yoseob on a bench. He sat beside Yoseob, and awkwardly put his arms around him.

 

“You can cry if you want now,” Lee Joon whispered softly. Yoseob started out with small, choked sobs, as he was embarrassed at the way he was behaving. But he couldn’t hold it in. The more he thought of what he had seen, he started to cry even harder. He clutched a little at his chest, wondering whether it was supposed to hurt this much. He just couldn’t help but let the realization hit him.

 

Doojoon wasn’t gay, and he would probably never be. The proof was right there. He had Gayoon, and probably hundreds of other girls before her. It was funny. He knew they were going out, but he had always felt that they were awkward around each other. He never imagined them kissing, but this was probably one of the other reasons why he felt even more hurt. And one of the worst things was;

 

Yoseob was in love with Doojoon. It wasn’t even a crush anymore. Yoseob liked everything about him. His serious, stern director side, and his playful, cute brotherly-side. Maybe it was because Doojoon didn’t know how much Yoseob really liked him, and wasn’t aware that with almost everything he did, drove Yoseob deeper and deeper into his little so called ‘infatuation’. It wasn’t his fault, but everything, from when he helped Yoseob at the club, to when he helped him with the writing of the little song, everything. Sure, it can still be brushed off as a sort of infatuation, but that didn’t really explain why Yoseob felt so fcking hurt.

 

Yoseob calmed down after a few minutes, and tried to push himself off Lee Joon’s chest. He thought he felt Lee Joon flinch and held him even tighter.

 

“Lee Joon…” Yoseob whispered, coughing a bit.

 

Lee Joon hesitated for a while before letting go of Yoseob. Yoseob covered his mouth in embarrassment as he realized how soaked Lee Joon’s sweater was with his tears.

 

“I am sorry!” Yoseob started to say, but Lee Joon cut him off, smiling a little. Yoseob glanced in shock at Lee Joon.

Lee Joon was smiling. It wasn’t one of his usual smirks, but an actual real smile.

 

It disappeared as soon as it had come. “Yes?” Lee Joon asked, raising his eyebrows a bit. Yoseob shook his head and casted his eyes towards his hands, and saw that he was still tightly clenching the blue clipboard. He had clutched it so tightly his knuckles had turned white. He let go of it and gingerly placed it on the empty spot next to him.

 

Lee Joon looked at the clipboard, and smirked.

 

“They put you in a project group?”

 

Yoseob nodded. But suddenly the prospect of being in a group didn’t excite him that much anymore. Lee Joon looked at Yoseob, waiting for him to speak.

 

“Thanks…” Yoseob whispered, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Why were you up there anyway?”

 

Lee Joon looked at his hands, and shrugged.

 

“Just wanted to have a drink with Doo-Mr. Park,” Lee Joon caught himself in time. His relationship with Doojoon wasn’t supposed to be disclosed to the public.  Yoseob looked at Lee Joon and narrowed his eyes a bit, but he looked at his lap and nodded again.

 

“You really like the Director, don’t you,” Lee Joon asked bluntly. Yoseob flinched a bit, and sighed.

 

“Yes,” he turned to Lee Joon and smiled sarcastically. “I love him this much,” Yoseob said, stretching his arms wide open.’

 

“I don’t even know why, but I just do. And today…” Yoseob clasped his hands together in a sudden motion.

 

“This is what is left,” he looked away from Lee Joon’s gaze and placed his hand over his heart again. Fresh new tears started to seep from his eyes as he casted his eyes towards his lap again.

 

“This is reality I guess…”

 

--------

 

Doojoon rushed from training studio to training studio, the ones on the level that Yoseob and his group trained at. He had ran into their training studio and met with the three members, just to know that the last time they had seen him was from when he went up to pass the forms to Doojoon.

 

He ran to the Big Bang’s training studio, just to hear that Jiyong was the only one who had seen him that day, and that was when he passed the trainees their forms.

 

Doojoon walked out of the training studio, breathing heavily. He clasped his hand to his forehead and leaned back against the cool marble walls of the company building as he thought back to his conversation with Gayoon when he left.

 

The moment Lee Joon had led Yoseob out of the office, Doojoon’s instinct took over and he tried to run out of the office, but was then again held back by Gayoon.

 

“Doojoon!”Gayoon shouted, holding back his wrist.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“What does it look like?”Doojoon snapped at her, wiping his mouth with his sleeve in the process. “I am running away from you, let go of me.”

 

Gayoon knelt to the ground, and her bottom lip started to quiver.

 

“Please, Doojoon, don’t go, surely I mean more to you right? Right? You are just using him as an excuse because you don’t want to see me right now…”Gayoon choked out, clinging onto Doojoon’s wrist.

 

Doojoon started to get angry. He wasn’t so sure of his own feelings anymore. He disliked that kiss. He disliked Gayoon. He didn’t want to see her. But he was most definitely NOTusing Yoseob as an excuse.

 

“You are wrong,”Doojoon seethed, glaring at Gayoon, but not wanting to say anymore. If he was asked anything else he was sure that he would have hit her. Gayoon flinched at the intensity of his glare and Doojoon flicked his arm out of Gayoon’s grip. He turned and started to walk out of the office.

 

“DOOJOON!”Gayoon screamed. She started to shout.

 

“Doojoon! Remember my father’s status…I can make him do things to you and this company…”Gayoon cried, desperately trying to get back Doojoon’s attention. Doojoon stopped for a while, but then continued to walk out. Gayoon’s eyes widened, unable to believe Doojoon. She shakily stood up, and walked over to his desk. She screamed and flicked the crystal paperweight on Doojoon’s table with so much force it fell to the ground and shattered into pieces.

 

As Doojoon was leaving the office, he heard Gayoon scream.

 

“WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?! WHAT IS HE WORTH TO YOU THAT I AM NOT?!”

 

Doojoon leaned back against the walls and closed his eyes. Really, what was Yoseob to him?

 

Why did he even care?